Greggie: I'm in the midst of ... setback, WD, who knows?

[Repent]

20 hours ago, Greggie said:

Thanks for the reply, I understand the waves and windows but where I’m confused in terms of my situation is a five month window. Does that happen? I felt practically back to normal for five months before getting hit with this wave. Which I guess is what makes it so much worse. I thought it was all over.
 

also when it comes to ativan, I haven’t taken it, In over a year. Even when I did take it, I’ve only taken it once is a blue moon. I’ve had  the same prescription for years, but am always way too afraid to use them regularly. How, if it is necessary, do I take it safely?

 

Im 18 months out from a month on Lexapro, 5mg and I had some pretty good months too, up until christmas where i was back in a huge wave again. It buzzez, feels like tickles, or bugs under my skin and in my skeleton aaall the time. And worse sometimes. And a wave of awful derealisation flush over me with buzzing in my eyes and a need to sleep asap. Thats just some of my sympthoms these days. 

 

So yeah, i guess sympthoms comes and goes how it please. Stay strong 👌:) 

[Gridley]

21 hours ago, Greggie said:

Does that happen? I felt practically back to normal for five months before getting hit with this wave. Which I guess is what makes it so much worse. I thought it was all over.
 

Yes, the waves and windows patterns can take all forms.  You were fortunate to have such a long window, but, as you said, it makes it all the harder when a wave hits.

 

Regarding the Ativan, all I can do is repeat what we know, that addiction can occur with 2 to 4 weeks of regular use and can result from intermittent use.  What degree of intermittent use would put you in danger of addiction, I don't know.  I'd say take it as little as possible.  

[Greggie]

I took a Lorazepam two days ago because I just needed some relief. I took .5mg at 5pm and it actually didn’t make me feel very good at all. I fell asleep and had a very good sleep. I woke up feeling amazing. All yesterday I felt great, no anxiety. Then last night I went to bed, fell asleep fine but had panic all night. Usually I have night time anxiety, but this we intense. 
 

is this what they call rebound anxiety? Could it happen more than 24 hours later? 

[Gridley]

22 minutes ago, Greggie said:

 

is this what they call rebound anxiety? Could it happen more than 24 hours later? 

 

It could be.   It's often not possible to predict cause and effect with these drugs in withdrawal. 

[Greggie]

Yes, but let’s say outside of withdrawal, is this something that happen typically? I’m not familiar at all with the workings of benzos and am curious about rebound effects. In general,  is it (rebound anxiety) just something you experience when withdrawaling from Long term use or can you get rebound effects from using it  anytime?

[Greggie]

Okay, today is day 58 since this “setback” began... 58! Holy crap. I can’t believe it’s been so long. There has been a development! I took an ativan two nights ago. I don’t recommend this, I get these were feelings in my left foot, I keep interpreting it as panic coming. You know when your hands and feet get cold and tingly from over breathing? Well, this was happening daily at various different locations. So a couple days ago I was like enough is enough. I just wanted relief from that weird feeling and cold feet. So I take it, (the ativan) and I start to feel weird, I don’t like feeling weird, so it gives me anxiety. But my foot issue doesn’t resolve as I expected it to. However, it clears enough of the anxiety away just enough that I can see my foot issue as something else, triggering anxiety, but not caused by anxiety. This symptom has been keeping me anxious for months now. I go to my chiropractor and he says it’s probably my sciatic nerve being pinched.... so could it be this whole time I’ve been keeping myself anxious because of misinterpretation of sciatica? So now I’m armed with this info, and yesterday my anxiety was almost zero, but today I’m anxious again. I guess when your body is super anxious for a long time it’s hard for it to get back to baseline. Anyway, we shall see what happens. But I’m hoping this new understanding will start to alleviate my symptoms so I can be one of those people who get to fully recover from WD... because this is still WD, right?

[Gridley]

5 hours ago, Greggie said:

Yes, but let’s say outside of withdrawal, is this something that happen typically? I’m not familiar at all with the workings of benzos and am curious about rebound effects. In general,  is it (rebound anxiety) just something you experience when withdrawaling from Long term use or can you get rebound effects from using it  anytime?

 

I am alerting Shep, an administrator who is very knowledgeable about benzos, to your question.

[Greggie]

Thanks

[Shep]

On 2/23/2020 at 6:00 PM, Greggie said:

also when it comes to ativan, I haven’t taken it, In over a year. Even when I did take it, I’ve only taken it once is a blue moon. I’ve had  the same prescription for years, but am always way too afraid to use them regularly. How, if it is necessary, do I take it safely?

 

On 2/26/2020 at 8:07 AM, Greggie said:

I took a Lorazepam two days ago because I just needed some relief. I took .5mg at 5pm and it actually didn’t make me feel very good at all. I fell asleep and had a very good sleep. I woke up feeling amazing. All yesterday I felt great, no anxiety. Then last night I went to bed, fell asleep fine but had panic all night. Usually I have night time anxiety, but this we intense. 
 

is this what they call rebound anxiety? Could it happen more than 24 hours later? 

 

16 hours ago, Greggie said:

So I take it, (the ativan) and I start to feel weird, I don’t like feeling weird, so it gives me anxiety.

 

Greggie, please update your signature to reflect your periodic Ativan use. A direct link to your signature is here:

 

Account Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

 

Regarding your question about rebound anxiety, please note that Ativan has a half-life of 10 - 20 hours, so yes, this could be a rebound effect. You also mention feeling "weird" when you took the drug, so it may be a drug that isn't agreeing with you, possibly due to your nervous system still in the healing process from antidepressant withdrawal. It can take a really long time to heal, so it's best not to introduce new chemicals for your tender nervous system to have to deal with. 

 

How often have you taken Ativan? As Gridley wisely noted, you can become dependent in 2 - 4 weeks and this includes periodic use. So if you haven't used it more than a few times, you may want to put it away and work on some non-drug coping skills instead. Here are some ideas:

 

This is a short video that can help when you feel anxious and just need to stop and breathe: 

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

And a great video to listen to at bedtime to stop intrusive thoughts:

 

Guided Meditation Deep sleep | anxiety and insomnia relief | relaxation before bedtime video (21 minutes)

 

If these don't speak to you, there are many more on YouTube to explore. 

 

How are you feeling today? 

 

 

[Greggie]

Thanks @Shep I’ll check these out. So my Ativan usage is very sparse. Think .5mg every year and a half or so when things get super tough. I’m never happy with the decision to take them. This time was actually a good discovery because I have learned that I have a sciatic nerve issue I was misinterpreting as panic. Turns out Ativan doesn’t take away the feelings of sciatica. I thought this tingling feeling in my foot was the panic sensation from over breathing and every time it would happen my anxiety would go through the roof. It was happening for months, but now that I know what it is, it’s easier to control my anxiety around it.

 

yesterday and today I have actually been feeling... dare I say, pretty good. That’s to say I still feel bad, but next to the terrible I’ve been feeling, bad is a definite improvement. I’m hoping I’m through the hardest part of my setback within a setback and hoping I’m back on the upswing. My CBT charts are looking positive, but you never really know what tomorrow will bring.

[Greggie]

Good morning. I want to report my first natural sleep without and major anxiety in weeks. Slept well, felt pretty upon waking. A little on edge but starting to feel optimistic about my recovery.

[Erell]

That is great news Greggie : sleep is healing

 

Take care ❤

[Shep]

13 hours ago, Greggie said:

This time was actually a good discovery because I have learned that I have a sciatic nerve issue I was misinterpreting as panic. Turns out Ativan doesn’t take away the feelings of sciatica. I thought this tingling feeling in my foot was the panic sensation from over breathing and every time it would happen my anxiety would go through the roof. It was happening for months, but now that I know what it is, it’s easier to control my anxiety around it.

 

Getting to the root of the problem is always so much better than masking it with a drug. I'm glad you were able to do so and I hope you can find ways of easing the sciatica pain. 

 

2 hours ago, Greggie said:

Good morning. I want to report my first natural sleep without and major anxiety in weeks. Slept well, felt pretty upon waking. A little on edge but starting to feel optimistic about my recovery.

 

Beautiful update, Greggie. I hope this healing trend continues. 

[Greggie]

3 hours ago, Greggie said:

Slept well, felt pretty upon waking. 

 

this was supposed to say felt pretty “good”, I did not feel pretty when I woke up this morning. I did not feel pretty at all.  🤣

[Greggie]

Sleeps getting better. Almost no anxiety/panic at night anymore. Day time still getting pretty anxious around 2-7 each day. But morning anxiety has gotten much less. 
 

im now experiencing air hunger, which sucks. Likely due to anxiety, but I’m going for sleep study’s to rule out sleep apnea. My doctor thinks all my ailments are due to anxiety, he may be right, but what if he’s wrong? 
 

so ya, slight improvement over the past few days. 

[Shep]

Glad you're getting improvements in sleep. That's important.

 

You may find these tips helpful for managing air hunger.

 

Managing Shortness of Breath video (5 minutes)

 

Managing an acute episode of shortness of breath video (6 minutes)

[jozeff]

Hi greggie,

 

Hoe are you doing? Hope you are still improving!

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Greggie, how are you?