lexapoison: 3 weeks off Lexapro / escitalopram

[Shep]

15 hours ago, lexapoison said:

I’m in very bad shape. Last night when I tried to go to sleep the anxiety and panic started tearing me up again, it comes over my body like a wave, it’s physical. Also, the inner restlessness, the need to keep moving and extremely loud tinnitus got really bad. It’s 11am and I didn’t sleep again. I feel so tired and my body is numb. These are all pretty new symptoms so I hope they clear up as quick as they came on. I’m very scared but really trying to stay positive. 

 

A lot of people on benzo forums report an every-other-night phenomenon where sleep is better every-other-night. 

 

I'm not sure if it's exhaustion from the previous night that causes this to happen or what exactly is going on. 

 

This is a great post that explains the benzo healing process and should give you a lot of hope. The recovery is non-linear but it does happen.

 

What is happening in your brain? 

[lexapoison]

Did not sleep again last night. 
 

12pm: Tossed and turned with anxiety and akathisia the entire night, finally got out of bed.

1pm: In really rough shape. Inner restlessness is high. Don’t know how I’m going to make it. Leave to get food on way back have big panic attack with crying. I’m really really worried about taking Ativan. Very hard to keep myself calm it’s like I have an energy inside of me.

2pm: Take .125mg of Ativan. 

3pm-6pm: On couch. Same, akathisia and feeling really out of it with panic. 
7pm: Playing video games. Anxiety has been raising steadily throughout the day and it’s through the roof again, debilitating. Trying to distract myself.

8pm: Anxiety a bit lower but completely out of it. 
9pm-1130pm: Go our front with neighbors trying to keep it cool with them. Talking but feeling like I’m in a different place it’s rough. Symptoms really high, anxiety lower.

1130pm: Take .375mg of Ativan feeling really really out of it. Eat half a sandwich.

1230am: Feeling the same. On my computer.

130am: Feeling more relaxed and tired. Feel a bit better.

230am: Anxiety creeping back up while I’m in bed. Feeling really tired.

 

Today was a very hard day. Akathisia and inner restlessness was high. It feels like an energy in my head that makes me feel like I can’t stay calm and want to crawl out of my skin. I noticed the anxiety picking up steadily and by the night time my ears were completely clogged, anxiety through the roof again and tinnitus super loud. 
 

I feel all of my old symptoms coming back to me slowly which was my worry. These symptoms include vision problems, burning tight forehead, brain fog, anhedonia, some fear, dp/dr yet I still have the high high anxiety that feels like someone is stabbing my chest and panic that I got from the .03mg of Lexapro still going on. 

[lexapoison]

29 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

A lot of people on benzo forums report an every-other-night phenomenon where sleep is better every-other-night. 

 

I'm not sure if it's exhaustion from the previous night that causes this to happen or what exactly is going on. 

 

This is a great post that explains the benzo healing process and should give you a lot of hope. The recovery is non-linear but it does happen.

 

What is happening in your brain? 

This is very interesting I’m starting to find me sleeping better every other night, we’ll see if it continues.
 

Wow, benzos are a big deal. Is it best I start a slower taper now before I hit tolerance or my body gets more used to it or best to hold? Will I be able to avoid a lot of symptoms by doing a slow taper? How will I know if I’m approaching or hit tolerance?

[Shep]

21 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Today was a very hard day. Akathisia and inner restlessness was high. It feels like an energy in my head that makes me feel like I can’t stay calm and want to crawl out of my skin. I noticed the anxiety picking up steadily and by the night time my ears were completely clogged, anxiety through the roof again and tinnitus super loud. 

 

Please see:

 

Tinnitus, another ear problem. What does all that noise mean?

 

Do you have a fan you can run at night? The background "white noise" can be very helpful. Some people find videos on YouTube that have white noise to be helpful because it masks some of the tinnitus: 

 

Sleep Sounds Deep White Noise | Fall Asleep & Remain Sleeping All Night | 10 Hours video (10 hours)

 

 

14 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Wow, benzos are a big deal. Is it best I start a slower taper now before I hit tolerance or my body gets more used to it or best to hold? Will I be able to avoid a lot of symptoms by doing a slow taper? How will I know if I’m approaching or hit tolerance?

 

Right now, you're being slammed with an adverse SSRI reaction. Removing the benzo will destabilize you further.  You already tried that. 

 

See this post in your benzo forum thread on the Jenga Puzzle analogy:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21379-lexapoison-ativan-during-lexapro-wd/?do=findComment&comment=449964

 

Your body ALREADY is used to the Ativan. You tried to come off it when you were within the window to safely do a rapid taper but the symptoms were too severe. You've now been on this drug in varying doses and times since August. It only takes as little as 2 weeks (even with periodic use) to become dependent. 

 

Here is where you need to be before you remove the Ativan - at what moderator Brassmonkey calls "withdrawal normal":

 

Withdrawal Normal

 

Please update your signature to reflect the date you came off the Lexapro. A direct link to your signature is here:

 

Account - Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

[lexapoison]

Thanks, Shep. My tinnitus and clogged ears seem to get worse as it gets later, I’m not sure why. It’s super loud by the time I get to bed.
 

I also honestly think that day that I tried the rapid taper off the Ativan that the symptoms I was feeling was more so from the adverse reaction to the Lexapro than the Ativan but who knows and it’s too late for that.

 

My main symptom right now is anxiety and akathisia, and the main source of my anxiety right now is taking Ativan. It’s driving me insane. I feel like I’m not even on my road to recovery yet taking it.

 

If you say the best course of action is to hold, then I’m going to hold. It just really scares me that I’m going to dig myself deeper into this benzo hole when I haven’t really been taking it for that long, even though I am already dependent on it.

 

I feel like it’s going to take me a long time to hit a wdnormal and taking Ativan that entire time really scares me. If you think there’s any chance I can start a very small taper to see how I do I’m all for it. Maybe starting with my daily dose from 2pm. But again I’ll follow what you say always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ShiningLight]

2 hours ago, lexapoison said:

My main symptom right now is anxiety and akathisia, and the main source of my anxiety right now is taking Ativan. It’s driving me insane. 

 

It just really scares me that I’m going to dig myself deeper into this benzo hole

 

I feel like it’s going to take me a long time to hit a wdnormal and taking Ativan that entire time really scares me.

 

 

That's exactly how I felt when I was put on klonopin to help the gaba wd. It's a tortuous feeling.

 

Your anxiety may well latch on to something else if it wasn't the concept of the ativan. I think it's very hard to know what's causing what in your situation. 

 

Shep knows her stuff. In my opinion that's your best bet.

[lexapoison]

7 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

 

That's exactly how I felt when I was put on klonopin to help the gaba wd. It's a tortuous feeling.

 

Your anxiety may well latch on to something else if it wasn't the concept of the ativan. I think it's very hard to know what's causing what in your situation. 

 

Shep knows her stuff. In my opinion that's your best bet.

Thanks ShiningLight. It’s truly horrible. I’m convinced Ativan kept me from being hospitalized but now I’d really like off before I dig myself into a deeper hole if it’s possible. I always listen to Shep no matter what.

[lexapoison]

Would you like me to continue with these notes since I’m pretty much holding steady or would you like a more brief list of symptoms and their times and the intensity of them?

 

Did not sleep well last night passed out probably around 6am, woke up probably 2 hours later and kept falling in out of sleep until about 10am. 
 

10am: High anxiety that burns like fire in my chest. The thought of me taking Ativan and the thought of my ex girlfriend keeps sending me into a panic. 

11am: Same. Still in bed. 
12pm: Lots of panic and akathisia. Still in bed.
1pm: Get up, Panic attack. Eat. 
2pm: Got some bad news. Cried and panic. 
230pm: Very hot . Sweating profusely.

3pm: Take .125mg of Ativan. 
4pm: Feeling hot and waves of high anxiety

5pm-10pm: Playing video games to stay distracted. Anxiety. Ate at 7pm. Constantly panicking about being on Ativan. Feel out of it.
10pm: Ears start to get clogged when it starts getting to nighttime. Anxiety.

11pm: Took .375mg of Ativan. 
12am: Feeling tired and a bit calmer.

1am: Feeling ready for bed.

 

So it seems my main symptoms as of late have been high anxiety that burns my chest like a fire and panic when I think about my ex girlfriend, taking Ativan and the position I’m in and also akathisia when I’m not keeping my mind occupied. If I didn’t have this anxiety/panic and akathisia moments I’d say I’m doing better than I was before. Still feel really out of it at times but like I said as of late the anxiety is truly the biggest and baddest symptom I’m having. I’m hoping it’s from the adverse reaction of Lexapro RI and it’ll clear up soon. What scares me is thinking it’s from the Ativan and it’s not going anywhere. I also have been really hot today and sweating a lot. Like I said in the afternoon I started sweating profusely it was crazy. Gonna try to get some sleep now!

 

Thank you. 

[Shep]

21 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Would you like me to continue with these notes since I’m pretty much holding steady or would you like a more brief list of symptoms and their times and the intensity of them?

 

Since you're holding, you may want to take a break from posting symptoms notes.

 

If you do so, please continue taking notes on a Word or Google Doc. That way if you do notice anything you'd like moderator feedback on, you can copy and paste it here on your thread and we'll go through it. 

 

There are other sections on the forum you may wish to explore. Check out the non-drug coping section for links on art and music therapy. Find a few things to do away from the computer or TV screen. When symptoms are intense, you may only be able to concentrate for a few minutes at a time. That's okay. The minutes build on each other. This will aid in neuroplasticity over time. 

 

Or check out the Relationship section or Finding Meaning. These are all great ways of distracting while still staying in contact with other folks going through withdrawal. 

 

8 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

Your anxiety may well latch on to something else if it wasn't the concept of the ativan.

 

This is such a profound insight from ShiningLight. 

 

I've noticed that some people going through withdrawal will find certain ideas that they latch onto as a way of self-soothing. You feel better when you're thinking of ways you might "fix this." 

 

But holding IS a way to "fix this." 

 

 

1 hour ago, lexapoison said:

 I’m convinced Ativan kept me from being hospitalized but now I’d really like off before I dig myself into a deeper hole if it’s possible.

 

This is a post by moderator Bubble and shows how well a benzo hold can work:

 

On 7/10/2017 at 10:08 AM, bubble said:

I would just like to briefly share my experience with long holds. Last year I at one point increased my rate of Xanax taper from 5 % per month to 10 %. After a few months of that I started feeling so bad that at one point I couldn't talk to people for more than 30 minutes (or less), I couldn't leave my house or anything. I felt I would never again be able to work or live like a regular person. I saw no option but to hold and hope for miracle.

 

After one month I saw little difference, after 2 months I also saw little difference, after that I went back to work but had to take one week per month off, after 4 months I still couldn't do more than 50 % of my tasks at work, after 6 months I tried to do some of those and I ended up in horrible DP/DR. I continued holding. After 9 months of holding I was able to travel abroad and speak at a conference.

[lexapoison]

@Shep My anxiety is through the roof again. 730am, about 8 hours since my .375mg dose and the anxiety wakes me up and it is completely debilitating it’s taken over my body. I really believe this is related to the Ativan because I’ve never had this. Anxiety wasn’t even an issue with me during wd until I started taking Ativan.

 

Anxiety is pretty much my main symptom now and other things feel much much better. I truly believe it’s related  to the Ativan but in what way I don’t know. Is it tolerance? I don’t think it’s interdose wd because when I take my .125mg dose it doesn’t really make anything better.

[lexapoison]

Also the intense anxiety started not too long ago, probably a week ago but it’s super intense. All the adverse reaction things from the Lexapro I feel have gotten better since I quit the Lexapro. No more numb genitals, no more burning throughout my body, but the intense anxiety is still here and something is really telling me it’s Ativan related, I just don’t know how.

[Johni]

Hi Lex. I've read your story.I'm sorry you're going through these. How are you handling this?greetings from Hungary

[lexapoison]

I’m in a extreme place right now. A lot of my symptoms seem better as of late. But right now it’s 1pm and since 730am I’ve been suffering from debilitating anxiety that’s very physical, burning my chest very bad giving me intense restless leg syndrome. Since a couple of hours ago it’s been changing from constant extreme anxiety to a panic attack every few minutes that physically feels like a wave going through my body. I’m really exhausted and feel like I can fall asleep but every time I’m about to fall asleep the panic attack hits me. I’ve never had symptoms like these before. My head also feels like jello. Ears clogged and tinnitus is much worse. My head also starts vibrating at times like shaking, just my head. The symptoms are brutal and bringing on intense SI along with them which I haven’t had in a while.

 

I need help and input and support please if you guys have it in you. Can this be the Ativan doing this?

[Altostrata]

Did you forget a dose of Ativan or take it off-schedule?

 

Yes, we've told you repeatedly that there are serious risks with benzos.

[lexapoison]

21 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Did you forget a dose of Ativan or take it off-schedule?

 

Yes, we've told you repeatedly that there are serious risks with benzos.

I did not not skip a dose or take a dose off-schedule.

 

It’s 3:30pm and I can’t stop sweating. Please help. Anxiety and panic high. 

[lexapoison]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Did you forget a dose of Ativan or take it off-schedule?

 

Yes, we've told you repeatedly that there are serious isks with benzos.

I’m just trying to find out if this extreme anxiety and panic I’m experiencing is from the Ativan or the lexapro ri I just stopped. If it’s from the Lexapro then I know I just need to hold to stabilize but if it’s from the Ativan I’m lost.

 

I feel like my Lexapro wd is doing much better as of late as far as the stuff I was experiencing in the beginning of my wd. Now my primary symptoms is this very bad anxiety and panic. Loud tinnitus and clogged ears are also a thing.

[Shep]

18 hours ago, lexapoison said:

I really believe this is related to the Ativan because I’ve never had this. Anxiety wasn’t even an issue with me during wd until I started taking Ativan.

 

On 8/3/2019 at 4:28 PM, lexapoison said:

1st week was horrible I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, increased anxiety, headaches, numb genitals and started getting these scary emotions that send me into a panic. I went to the ER it got so bad and was given 10 Ativan to take as neeeded and was told to keep taking the lexapro until I could get ahold of a primary doctor or psychiatrist and that it was just anxiety.

 

Re-read your thread. 

[lexapoison]

1 minute ago, Shep said:

 

 

Re-read your thread. 

But Shep it wasn’t just anxiety I was experiencing that’s just what the er doctor told me to get rid of me. It was zero percent like what I an experiencing now. What I am experiencing now is anxiety beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m going to post some quick notes in just a bit. Taking my Ativan tonight seemed to help me.

[lexapoison]

Fell asleep around 230am-3am
 

730am: Woke up anxiety starts picking up.

11am: Still in bed anxiety has picked up to a very high level. Restless leg syndrome. Chest is burning can’t believe the level of anxiety I have. 
12pm: Trying to get sleep, constant anxiety has turned into a quick panic attacks every couple of minutes that rips through my body like a wave.

1pm: Same.

2pm: Out of bed. Sweating a lot. Ears are clogged. Anxiety and panicking. My Lexapro wd symptoms seem better but the anxiety and panic are insane. Take .125mg of Ativan. Eat half a sandwich.

3pm-6pm: Same. Sweating a lot and insanely high level of anxiety that burns my chest. The anxiety is so bad that the burning is starting to physically hurt.

630pm: Force myself to go eat out with friends. Anxiety is high but I’m trying to manage it.

730pm: Back home, panic, a bit of crying and back to an extreme level of anxiety. 

8pm-11pm: Playing video games. Anxiety extremely high, hard to breath at times and chest burning so bad it’s actually beginning to feel slightly painful. Take .375mg of Ativan.

12pm: Feeling tired.

1am: Anxiety is more manageable burning in chest is less. Tired.

2am: Ready for bed but scared about tomorrow morning as this morning was way so powerful.

 

So the level of anxiety I’m having as you can tell is much stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s so strong that it’s causing my ears to be completely clogged the entire day. I personally am thinking it’s Ativan related but I’m hoping it’s not. This extreme level of anxiety started a couple of days before I quit the RI of Lexapro when I was just on .03mg. I feel like if it was part of an adverse reaction to Lexapro it would have started when I was at a higher dose such as .125mg when the rest of my adverse reactions symptoms began, instead of when I was on .03mg for a few days. 
 

But like I stated a lot of my Lexapro symptoms from the beginning of my wd seem to be doing a bit better. The bad thing is this crippling intense anxiety that has came out of nowhere.

 

Taking the .125 mg of Ativan at 2pm does zero for my anxiety and panic.

[Shep]

21 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

Taking my Ativan tonight seemed to help me.

 

There's your answer right there. 

 

Lex, this is a very non-linear process. You need to learn how to handle your symptoms. Sometimes the Ativan will help and sometimes it won't. But constantly obsessing on making drug changes (such as coming off the Ativan too soon) in order to "fix this" is counterproductive. You likely are going to be dealing with this for quite awhile and so far, your ability to self-sooth are not good and you're not working on improving this.

 

 

22 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

I’m going to post some quick notes in just a bit.

 

There's not much more we can do for you. Holding is going to be your best path forward for the next few weeks, if not for several months. You need to give your nervous system time to heal from the trauma of the antidepressant adverse reaction. You should be concentrating on distractions, learning methods of breathing, doing stretching or yoga, going for daily walks, practicing mindfulness so you can learn not to let the chemical anxiety create such distress. You can learn to not attach thoughts to your anxiety, but it does take practice. I've already given you links to Brassmonkey's "emotional spiral" thread and to Alto's "change the channel" thread. 

 

I also mentioned joining Benzo Buddies for the social support, which can be very helpful. We don't have the staff to hold your hand throughout this entire process. You need to learn how to self sooth, to distract, and to find a support system. 

 

I would caution you against burning out the staff by repeating the same things again and again. 

[lexapoison]

5 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

There's your answer right there. 

 

Lex, this is a very non-linear process. You need to learn how to handle your symptoms. Sometimes the Ativan will help and sometimes it won't. But constantly obsessing on making drug changes (such as coming off the Ativan too soon) in order to "fix this" is counterproductive. You likely are going to be dealing with this for quite awhile and so far, your ability to self-sooth are not good and you're not working on improving this.

 

 

 

There's not much more we can do for you. Holding is going to be your best path forward for the next few weeks, if not for several months. You need to give your nervous system time to heal from the trauma of the antidepressant adverse reaction. You should be concentrating on distractions, learning methods of breathing, doing stretching or yoga, going for daily walks, practicing mindfulness so you can learn not to let the chemical anxiety create such distress. You can learn to not attach thoughts to your anxiety, but it does take practice. I've already given you links to Brassmonkey's "emotional spiral" thread and to Alto's "change the channel" thread. 

 

I also mentioned joining Benzo Buddies for the social support, which can be very helpful. We don't have the staff to hold your hand throughout this entire process. You need to learn how to self sooth, to distract, and to find a support system. 

 

I would caution you against burning out the staff by repeating the same things again and again. 

Thanks Shep. I won’t burn out the staff. I just wanted to be sure that we thought the anxiety and the panic I’m getting is not from the Ativan (rebound anxiety, tolerance, interdose wd, etc) because benzos are such unfamiliar territory to me, but instead is from the Lexapro.
 

It just feels so much like it’s Ativan related to me. I’ll rest a lot better knowing it’s not Ativan related and that it’ll get better on its own. 

[Shep]

On 9/22/2019 at 7:31 AM, Shep said:

For people who need Ativan for sleep, we generally advise taking the bulk of the drug at night and using less during the day to aid with interdose withdrawal, but since you report you don't need it for sleep, you could evenly space out the .5 mg and take .166 mg three times a day. 

 

We recommend moving doses gradually by one hour a day. So you would need to split your pill and into three doses and walk them down down gradually.

 

 

On 10/2/2019 at 9:44 AM, Shep said:

To move the Ativan, here are a couple of options:

 

• move 25% of your daily dose to earlier in the day and keep 75% to take in the evening. Do this if you feel the evening dose is helping with sleep, even if all it does is tone down some of your symptoms. By only moving 25%, you keep the bulk of your dose for closer to bedtime. 

       OR:

• move 50% of your daily dose to earlier in the day if you don't feel the Ativan is helping at all with sleep.

Please only move the dose ONE HOUR per day. This gradual move is the gentlest on your nervous system. You may find you need to dose 3 times a day. As you gradually move the dose, by the time you get the dose down to around noon, please note your symptoms and at that point, you may want to keep part of that dose to take at noon and move the rest of the dose to take first thing in the morning. 

 

 

As mentioned before, you could be getting interdose withdrawal. Here are the instructions from our earlier conversations on how to handle.

 

You're dosing twice a day now, so you may want to go to three times a day. 

 

 

27 minutes ago, lexapoison said:

It just feels so much like it’s Ativan related to me. I’ll rest a lot better knowing it’s not Ativan related and that it’ll get better on its own. 

 

I don't know, Lex. The best advice I have is to first deal with any interdose withdrawal issues and then go into a long hold and work on your non-drug coping skills and build yourself a support system of other members here or on a benzo forum like Benzo Buddies, which is set up for social support. 

 

You'll have to decide what you want to do and then take the responsibility for the outcome of your actions. 

[ShiningLight]

You're not going to be able to be sure what's causing what. That has been said to you before. Your habit of repeating the same things even after given advice makes it frustrating to try to help you. That's why I don't respond much anymore. Look at our previous exchange one or two times ago. It was about a 3 or 4 line response from you.

 

I'm pretty sure you've also said multiple times the anxiety is worse than you've ever had. It's good advice to reread your thread.

 

The ear clogging may be a separate phenomenon from the anxiety. The burning may be neuropathic pain and not necessarily caused by the anxiety. But caused by wd. I've had it too. 

 

Read threads by people like Kristine and Carmie for role models how to bear severe symptoms with grace, while still managing to be generous and caring to other people.

 

I have put a lot of time and energy in trying to be supportive. I'm not even sure if you have tried to support me once. Now, this isn't *** for tat and I know sometimes people are too severe and I have given freely to you because I *wanted* to. But you manage to play video games.  After awhile, one starts to notice things like this.

 

If you reply with excuses or justifications why you can't or why it's so bad, I will be taking a long break from replying. I may be doing that anyway. Take care.

[lexapoison]

11 hours ago, Shep said:

 

 

 

As mentioned before, you could be getting interdose withdrawal. Here are the instructions from our earlier conversations on how to handle.

 

You're dosing twice a day now, so you may want to go to three times a day. 

 

 

 

I don't know, Lex. The best advice I have is to first deal with any interdose withdrawal issues and then go into a long hold and work on your non-drug coping skills and build yourself a support system of other members here or on a benzo forum like Benzo Buddies, which is set up for social support. 

 

You'll have to decide what you want to do and then take the responsibility for the outcome of your actions. 

Thanks, Shep. I don’t think it’s related to interdose wd because when I take my .125mg it never makes me feel any better whatsoever so I’m not too sure if splitting the dose into 3 parts is the right way to go. Actually today after I took it my anxiety actually really picked up and I started sweating a lot and I had to jump in the shower. The only time I might get some relief is when I take the .375mg at night but almost exactly 8 hours later it’s back with a vengeance. Is rebound anxiety the same thing as interdose wd by chance?

I also believe that the Ativan has been the culprit of all of my strong SI this whole time as I am completely consumed by it again.

 

Good news is my previous Lexapro symptoms feel better. Don’t really have fear, dp/dr or the dark cloud anymore as of late. I almost feel like if I hadn’t started the Ativan I’d be in a state that I’d be able to cope with okay.

[lexapoison]

Main symptoms of the day: 

High Anxiety that burns my chest

Had a bad aggressive episode 

Very high SI

Some burning in body (around the back of of my neck)

Feeling hot and sweating a lot 

 

 

 

 

[lexapoison]

Last night I took my .375mg dose of Ativan. Played video games for a couple of hours and the next thing I knew I was in bed on my phone. I had no idea or recollection on how I got there. It was a very frightening experience.

[lexapoison]

It seems that I have hit tolerance with my Ativan as advised to me by moderators on benzo buddies. My symptoms include: nausea, constantly hot and sweaty, dizziness, clogged ears, tinnitus, always angry and in a bad mood, SI, very high anxiety and some panic. All of these symptoms are fairly new to me except tinnitus which has gotten much worse though. Is it still recommended that I hold the Ativan even if I’ve hit tolerance? I’m so lost when it comes to benzos.

[lexapoison]

Did not sleep until about 6am. Light in and out of sleep until 8am.

8am: Wake up anxiety. No way to sleep even though I’m so tired.

9am-12pm: Same.

12pm: Out of bed and feel horrible. Hot, sweaty, vision bright, dizzy for first time ever, head feels like a balloon, anxiety, stomachache, tight burning forehead is back.

1230pm: Go to get food. Eat.

1pm: On couch. Extremely angry. Everything makes me very very upset. Same symptoms as above. Yelling, crying, feel like a psycho. High anxiety.

2pm: Take .10mg of Ativan.

3-4pm: Same as 1pm.

5pm-8pm: Go to play video games. A bit calmer.
8pm: Go to get food. Eat. Probably feel the worst I’ve ever felt. Fear is coming back, brain fog coming back, horrible burning headaches are back,  just feel like a psycho it’s intense.

9pm: Ears getting super clogged and anxiety really picking up. This always happens around this time. Don’t want to be left alone. Scared.

10pm: Video games. Feeling horrible need a distraction.
11pm: Feeling okay. Calm. Tired.

1130pm: Take .375mg of Ativan.

1230pm: Feel the same maybe a little worse?

1am: Stomach really hurts.

2am: Ready for bed. Stomach really hurts. Tight burning forehead still there. Clogged ears ears are better.

230am: Definitelt calmer

 

Today again unlike any other day. I feel like my old symptoms are all coming back slowly since I quit the RI like fear, dp/dr, brain fog, severe headaches. 
 

But now I have new symptoms such as dizziness and stomachaches which I’ve never had ever. Also burning headaches in my whole head. Burning of my body is still a thing, numb penis is gone. 
 

Since I quit my RI all that’s gotten better is the numb genitals and everything else has gone down hill I believe. I think the RI was working at the lower dose and the Ativan is the one causing the problems.

 

 

 

 

[lexapoison]

Update I feel pretty okay right now. Headache is better. Only thing bothering me right now is tinnitus and stomachache and some anxiety.

[Shep]

1 hour ago, lexapoison said:

2pm: Take .10mg of Ativan.

1130pm: Take .375mg of Ativan.

 

Is this correct or a typo? 

 

[lexapoison]

8 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Is this correct or a typo? 

 

This is correct. This is my second dose of a 5% cut.

I made the cut because I’ve been waking up extremely dizzy and nauseated everyday. It doesn’t go away. The nausea gets worse after I take the Ativan. I went on a walk today and felt like vomiting the whole time. I’ve never been so aggressive and in a bad mood in my life, I snap at everything, everything makes me angry. Anxiety has been tearing me right apart.
 

I’ve never made a change without your strict guidance, Shep and I don’t want to.l ever again. People are telling me I’m in tolerance and I’m having paradoxical effects to the Ativan. I’m so lost.
 

I’ll updose immediately if you want but the only changes I’ve noticed since the the cut are the first night I didn’t sleep and then an increase in headaches starting yesterday. 

 

 

[lexapoison]

Fell asleep around 4-5am last night.

 

8am: Woke up able to go back to sleep.

10am: Wake up strong anxiety and restless legs start. Not able to go back to sleep.

12pm: Wake up extremely dizzy and stomachache. Both very new symptoms.

1230pm: Eat a sandwich. 
1pm: Still in bed.

130pm: Go to take dogs for a walk with neighbor. Dizzy and horrible stomachache.
2pm: Get back to neighbors extremely dizzy and horrible stomachache had to go home and lay down. Take .10mg of Ativan. 
3pm-6pm: Go play video games. Feeling really out of it. Stomach burning. 
7pm: Burning forehead headache starts kicking in bad. 
8pm: Go get food. Fear and vision problems coming back. 
10pm: Headache is bad and anxiety starts picking up.

11pm: Take .375mg of Ativan.

1130pm: Stomachache coming in really bad.

12am: Feel calmer. Stomach is bad.

2am: Grab a snack stomach really hurting.

Ready for bed.

 

Anxiety seems to have gotten a bit better over the past couple of days. I rarely have moments where my vision gets blurry and I can’t control it but it still burns my chest horribly and sometimes body feels numb. I feel like vision problems, dp/dr fear and intense headaches are coming back and that really scares me. Sound sensitivity is also coming back. I may want to consider getting back on a tiny dose .01mg-.03mg of Lexapro as I cannot be housebound from fear again. 
 

I think the Ativan is giving me the intense stomaches and dizziness and that really scares me as I don’t know what to do about that. I’m hoping it’s temporary and will go away. I also notice that my symptoms like anxiety start to pick up towards the nighttime so I may want to consider moving some of my nighttime dose down a few hours to help combat the uptick in symptoms I’ve been getting between usually 7-10pm. Ears get clogged and anxiety really picks up. Maybe this can help with the stomachaches and dizziness as well since I’m not taking so much all at once?

 

 

[Len189]

How are you doing these days? Hope you are hanging in there.

[Kronos18]

Hi friend.How are you?

[brassmonkey]

Lexapoison is no longer a member.  If you have other contact information I would recommend using that to try and contact him.