Frax: Severe nightmares, intrusive thoughts and zapping awake

[Frax]

Hi, I’ve been on lexapro, Citalopram, escitalopram (same thing?) for around 20 years, with a couple of gaps where I came off the drugs successfully through tapering.  The only way I can taper in my country is through cutting pills in half then quarters.  No liquid forms or doses smaller than 10mg in pill form seem to be available.

 

i was on 10mg and have always resisted all suggestions I should be on more.  I suffered depression, obsession, and low mood all through my teens, got a bit better. Then I suffered panic attacks in my mid twenties that got so bad I was struggling to work or function.  I went to the doctor and was put on these drugs straight away.  At first they gave me a huge sense of relief, they blunted all my feelings and moods- including joy- but that was a price I was prepared to pay.  I assumed the doctors knew what they were talking about and believed the stories about these new gen drugs having no major issues etc.

 

Over time it just became part of my routine, I didn’t consider stopping, why would I?

 

in my thirties I stopped for a bit as I was in a new relationship and I felt good.  About a year passed, some bad stuff happened, and I went to the doctor with anxiety, she put me back on the drugs.

 

i stayed on them until late last year.  I have always had a drink problem.  Some life stuff happened and I decided to go to AA and deal with that.  I got clean but nearly lost my relationship in the process.  I started seeing an anxiety specialist and decided to taper my pills.  I realised I had been asking the doc about this for yeArs and she would say, let’s just get through Christmas, then let’s just get through winter.  This was a cycle that took the whole year and I never got off it.  I would get anxious, think how hard life was and then decide not now.  When I told her I was just going to do it, as if not now, then when?  I almost had to have a argument about it.

 

i pointed out it killed my libido, it robs me of all happy sensations as well as sad, it seems to make me fat, it flatlines my creativity (I used to be a writer) etc.  her response was well let’s try a different pill.  My instinct is no, why would I buy more problems.  In the end I just did it without discussion.  I told her this week and she is just anxious I have a supply ready to go in case I need them again, on the assumption I will.  Makes me more determined to not take them!  I have just discovered a different doctor has put my 15 year old stepdaughter on the same drug.  Of course we didn’t know patient confidentiality.  She assumes she will be on them forever and they will change her life.  She is a creative spirited highly strung young woman, now flat as a pan cake and she assures me 1000 times better.  Deja vu anyone?

 

I have been very anxious about withdrawals, so I have done it over 5 months.  When I shifted from half to quarter pill I noticed a few days of sadness and sleep disruption.  I have just tapered to nothing have not been ok.  It crept in a few days ago, crying at nothing, intrusive persistent thoughts, dizziness, resentment, hopelessness, and worst of all horrible nightmares and blasting awake with my heart beating fast in complete terror out of deep sleep. It feels manageable, but I want it to pass.  And want assurance it will.  Especially during this lock down, I can’t afford to go nuts.  It might have been a stupid time to stop, but it felt like the right time.  I’m just done with it.  I don’t want to talk to the doctor about it.  I am convinced it’s like a cult of psych drugs and they know nothing.  I’m angry about all the wasted years.

 

Fran

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, Frax.  I need a little more information, please.

1 hour ago, Frax said:

When I shifted from half to quarter pill I noticed a few days of sadness and sleep disruption.  I have just tapered to nothing have not been ok.

 

1. What drug were you tapering?

2. What was your original dosage and when approximately did you start taking it?

3. Please describe your taper including dates. What was the dosage of the pill you were taking?  Did you taper from a whole pill to 3/4 and when?  Then did you go to 1/2 and when?  Then did you go to 1/4 and when?  When did you stop taking the drug?

 

You are experiencing withdrawal from a too-fast taper.  The symptoms you describe are typical withdrawal symptoms.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list.

 

When we take psychiatric medications, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

When you have answered my questions, I will be better able to help you with suggestions regarding your withdrawal symptoms.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

This is your Introduction topic where you can answer my questions, ask your own questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Frax]

Hi, Thanks for the response.

 

I’ve been taking Escitalopram-Apotex at a 10 mg dose for a solid block of at least six or seven years.  I had a year or two off it, but prior to that I was taking it or versions of it almost constantly since my mid 20s with a year here and there off it.  I’m 43 now.

I haven’t had more than 10 mg in this current round and have never increased my dose above one pill.  
 

I started tapering around Sept Oct last year.  I went from 1 to 3/4 to half to quarter to nothing.  I don’t have exact dates, but I recall I was taking half in Jan and switched to quarter in late Feb maybe?  I was on a quarter for about a month.  Then seeing you can’t go smaller or get liquid in my country i went to nothing about a week ago.

 

I did expect this, but was still happy to find this group.  The nightmares and shocking seem to have eased, but the persistent sadness and intrusive thoughts and tiredness are very present.

 

I have been taking a multi vitamin, iron pill for my low iron condition and vitamin c.  I have some other health challenges but I think this is escitalopram related.

 

Thanks,

F.

 

 

 

 

 

[Gridley]

1 hour ago, Frax said:

i went to nothing about a week ago.

 

How bad are your withdrawal symptoms?  If they are tolerable, you could stick it out.  However, if they are unbearable, you are still well within the time frame when a VERY small reinstatement of Escitalopram would help mitigate symptoms and allow you first to stabilize and  to to taper off that small dosage very slowly.

 

Please let me know how you're feeling and we can go from there.  Please make no changes until we have communicated further.

[Frax]

Thanks both, I think the symptoms are probably tolerable though very low mood today and random crying.  The problem is I only have pills and no access to anything liquid or reducible to a smaller dose.  There just isn’t that alternative here.  So going up to a dose smaller than a quarter pill (hard enough to segment off) and then down from there is just too hard.

 

Good news is the nightmares and night terror wake ups seem to have stopped.  If I look at those symptoms I can see others that have hopefully passed now, issues adjusting from light to dark, dizziness, disturbed stomach, low energy, confusion.  I’m forcing myself to exercise and meditate.  I have experience getting sober now too, so I am no stranger to weird effects.  Just didn’t expect it to be this weird!

 

Thanks,

F

[Gridley]

3 hours ago, Frax said:

So going up to a dose smaller than a quarter pill (hard enough to segment off) and then down from there is just too hard.

If symptoms are tolerable, you can ride it out.  However, if you need to reinstate (I'd suggest 1mg--no more) you can use a scale such as the AWS Gemini-20 scale, available on Amazon to weigh crushed pill powder or you can make your own liquid.  Instructions are in this link:

 

Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)

 

Using a digital scale to measure doses

 

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

[Frax]

Thanks both, I think the symptoms are probably tolerable though very low mood today and random crying.  The problem is I only have pills and no access to anything liquid or reducible to a smaller dose.  There just isn’t that alternative here.  So going up to a dose smaller than a quarter pill (hard enough to segment off) and then down from there is just too hard.

 

Good news is the nightmares and night terror wake ups seem to have stopped.  If I look at those symptoms I can see others that have hopefully passed now, issues adjusting from light to dark, dizziness, disturbed stomach, low energy, confusion.  I’m forcing myself to exercise and meditate.  I have experience getting sober now too, so I am no stranger to weird effects.  Just didn’t expect it to be this weird!

 

Thanks,

F

[Frax]

Thanks for this.  Keen not to stay off it and just get it over with if I can, but in case it gets unbearable, for how long would it remain safe to reinstate a very small dose without more problems!