The amazing power of our thoughts

[Erell]

The amazing power of our thoughts : a topic to give you tools for your mind.

 

In this topic, I'm gonna write articles to share with you my discoveries about the amazing power of our thoughts, share some tools.

Keep in mind that none of these tools do miracle : they need practice and attention payed to our thoughts. But they can greatly help to deal with  emotional spirals.

 

 

(Also see "Dealing with emotional spirals" : https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/13492-dealing-with-emotional-spirals/?tab=comments#comment-257833 )

 

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1. Forever, Always and Never

 

2. Doubt : how to identify it and how to not over-interprate this feeling ?

 

 

Edited April 22, 2020 by Erell

[Erell]

1. Forever, Always and Never

 

 

I would like to bring to your attention a trick played by your brain everyday : our thoughts aren't reality. Sentences floating in our brain aren't the exact reflection of what happens. Almost all our thoughts are the result of brain work : information gathering, interpretation of information. 

What is very important to keep in mind is, while processing the information, our brain is governed by cognitive biases : our brain makes distorsions, changes with information, in order to present us  a "useful" interpretation.  This is done to allow us for making the best decisions.

 

Knowing that, our goal is not to remove these cognitive biases : we don't have control on brainwork. Our goal is to stay conscious of them, and remind that our thought are governed by them.

 

 

Today, I would like to talk about the "Generalizing/ Universalizing biase" : with a small data amount, sometimes with only one experience, our brain will suggest universal/genral understanding of the world and people. 

 

This is a very useful biase in men' history : if one day I've eaten a specific  berry in a specific forest, and I've been sick, it is very important to make the conclusion that these specific berries in this specific forest are very dangerous.

Maybe we are wrong, maybe we were sick for another reason, but Our brain is very careful, so he will make a general conclusion.

 

I have to highlight that this cognitive biase work particularly on negative experiences. After an experience you found negative, because you felt unpleasant emotions, your brain will be careful about any aspect that seems dangerous and will send you catastrophizing alarms.

 

You can recognize the "Generalizing biase" when you have the words "Forever, always and never" in your thoughts :

 

"I will never feel better again" / "this symptom will stay forever" / "I'll always have OCD", ....

 

You can also recognize it with the words : Nothing/everything , Everydoby/Anybody : 

 

"Everybody hates me now" / "Everything is ruined because of WD" .....

 

 

As you can see, lot of generalization in these sentences ! Why ? Because you have seen, heard, felt, observed...something, and have made the conclusion that it will always be true.

 

For example : you had a phonecall with a friend, and you felt that this friend was irritate and didn't want to listen to you.

First, this was already an interpretation. Second, you made the conclusion that nobody loves you anymore and that because of WD you've lost everybody, forever.

 

With one interprated event, we think we can predict the future.

 

 

So, why it is important to notice this biase ?

 

First, because this biase prevent from our possibility to live in the present. As it is a conservative biase, existing to avoid a dangerous future, it focused our thoughts on a fearfull hypothetic future.

 

Secondly, because it is important to differentiate our thoughts and reality : the facts, and the assumptions we make based on these facts. As our assumptions are often frughtening or desperate ones, this add negativity to our present situation.

 

So, what can I do ?

 

My advise is to notice the specific words in your  sentences and thoughts, and learn to differentiate between the facts and the interpretation your brain offers you.

With practice, you will less and less identify to these universalizing thoughts, while accepting them (and even thanking your brain for trying to protect you ! ) 

 

 

Take care ❤️

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 17, 2020 by Erell

[Erell]

2. Doubt : how to identify it and how to not over-interprate this feeling ?

 

 

What is doubt ? It is a feeling created by our thoughts. We feel doubt when we have thoughts such like : 

 

" I'm not sure" / " I may have made a mistake " / "This may not be the good choice" / ....

 

Doubt feeling is very uncomfortable, and sometimes even has a crippling effect.

 

For example : before I decided to try a Prozac Bridge, I was living in doubt all day long and very anxious about every possible decision, obsessed with the subject.

 

Why is doubt so uncomfortable and stressfull ?

 

Because, doubting thoughts suggest that a case is not closed, there is an not solved issue.

But, as long as an issue is not solved, it is very diffult for our human brain to move on.

Yes, our humain brain likes certitude, clarity. So our brain will spend a lot of time and energy to try to find evidence to help making a choice, leading us to obsession until we find an answer.

 

What Can I do ?

 

First thing to do is to learn to recognize doubt feeling : identify it and name it.

 

Then, we can try to not be caught in some usual mistakes : 

 

- one mistake with doubt feeling is to think : "well, if there is a doubt, it necessarily means that there is a problem". We wrongly see doubt as a clue : doubt is not created by a real problem or a real mistake made, but only by the fact we think there is a problem, or we think we may have made a mistake.

 

For a simple example : if, in my car, I suddenly think I may be on the wrong road, it doesn't mean it is the wrong road. I may be on the right road, but I have a thought questionning it, creating a doubt.

So doubt can't help us to know if our choice is a good one or not.

 

- second mistake is to see doubt as an enemy. As doubt is uncomfortable, we generally try to wipe it. But that's not how our mind works : doubt is an intrinsic part of our human journey, because our lives are full of unknown. As we can't know if a decision is the right one (because we can't predict the future), there necessarily is doubt.

Doubt itself is not an issue : what is important is what we decide to do with doubt.

 

- third mistake : think wrongly that it is necessary to eliminate doubt before moving forward.

 

These three mistakes combined give doubt a crippling effect.

 

Finally, let me say that time does not eradicate doubt. We often think that if we wait enough time, doubt will eventually disappear.

 

So, what can I do to prevent crippling effect (and more stress) ?

 

- First, one important thing to do is to simply accept doubt presence : while doubt appears, it doen'st mean necessarily I'm wrong, it just means that I'm facing some uncertainty.

 

- Secondly, I can make it an ally : if doubt appears, it means my brain identified uncertainty, so it will be interesting to have a conversation with doubt to understand what is acted out. 

We can welcome doubt as an advisor : certainly focused on risks, but still a point of view you can listen to.

 

- When doubt lawyer has explained all the identified unknown, you can thank him for all the info, and take control back. Because, doubt doesn't make decision : you make decision with all the info you have.

 

Sometimes, doubt are easy to mute. Sometimes, even with all the info, uncertainty will last. This is the time to make a decision. To make the decision, you can yourself a simple question :

 

Comparatively, do I prefer uncomfortable immobility ( a doubt allowing me to feel secure at this stage of my life)  or uncomfortable move ( a doubt allowing me to take a risk) ?

 

And only you can make this decision.

 

 

❤️

 

 

 

 

Edited April 22, 2020 by Erell