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Trauma release in an internet age


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Part of the success of this website (Everything Matters: Beyond Meds)  has been my willingness (and need) to speak things that many of my readers were thinking but not yet saying. As I’ve gotten deeper into my trauma release and healing I’ve backed away from this site in many regards and ventured into dark areas of the psyche which even many people who had followed me for a long time no longer wanted to partake in. I’ve continued to post difficult material much of which continues to be trauma release, both for myself and for those who also, like me have wandered far into the abyss, by necessity, for their healing.

Most of the people I’ve had the privilege of helping on this site have a radically different history than I’ve had. This is rarely acknowledged or understood. Most of the people with histories like mine are totally and completely swallowed by psychiatry and lost forever. I don’t actually know anyone like me who has made it as far as I have off the drugs etc. It’s a tragedy that hurts me. And so…this site, in part, is trauma release in the internet age. I never found a human being (therapist or otherwise) who could hold all the stuff I needed to say and so the whole world became my container.

I owe an endless debt of gratitude to the many people who continue to read, hear and hold me whether or not their history is like mine, they somehow see me, feel me, touch me. There may not be many of you (as compared to when I was a celebrity blogger) but even when you don’t say anything I FEEL you. Thank you, Thank you. Below are some raw trauma utterances first posted on Twitter. Some of it has been edited for clarity but it’s mostly in the raw. First draft. It will not be everyone’s cup of tea and there is a fair amount of obscenities so if that bothers you please DO NOT continue


Trauma release in an internet age


Edited by ChessieCat
unitalicised, reduced font and bolded/reddened warning

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 


withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

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Thanks for sharing! I 've struggled a lot with trauma, and life offered me a heavy dose to deal with as soon as I had almost recovered from the first blow. It's tough, it's actually pretty hardcore, but somehow the spirit is untamed and ever resilient. 

Feb 2015 Invega 9mg tapered to zero over 6 month, Levomepromazine 25mg for 3 monthsCitalopram raised from 20mg to 80mg over 3 months, at 80mg for 1 year and 5 months, Venlaxafine raised from 150mg to 450mg over 3 months (after citalopram) maintained for 1 year and 2 months. Cold turkey off both.     Two shots of haldol decanoate. Alprazolam from 0.5 to 7(!) mg due to the immense stress of the ads. Down to 2.5mg October 2017

Occtober 2017 - Dec 2017 Moclobemide raised from 200mg to 800mg during a month and half discontinued with no tapering.

Jan 2017 Feb 2017Fluvoxamine and Venlaxafine 300mg and 450mg, abrupt start, no tapering in discontinuation. 30mg Mirtazapin at night.

Close to two months off antidepressants but on benzos. 6 months on 2.5mg alprazolam, Diazepam 5mg for 1.5 months. Currently on 600mg peronten, 400mg seroquel xr, Risperdal Consta 50mg. 

In the past 8 months dropped quitapine from 400 -> 300->200->100->75->50->25. Dropped paliperidone palmitate 100 to 75mg (two months on the lower dosage) Dropped Gabapentin 300mg->200mg->100mg->0

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