Waving2MyWindows: Well, here I am!

[Waving2MyWindows]

My name is Billy, 
In 1996 at age 9 I started psychotropic drugs after my dad suddenly died, over the years I was put on different combos, Resperidal, Zyprexa, then a few years later around 1998 other meds were added because of the antipsychotics, Seroquel, Celexa, Lexapro, Lithium, Welbutrin, abilify, geodon, effexor, xanax Ativan (probably missing some) In 2006 my doctor told me to take 1mg Xanax per day. In 2018 Seroquel and Wellbutrin were stopped (brutal withdrawal). In 2019 poor taper jump off celexa/xanax, relapsed onto Ativan 1mg per day and Effexor 150mg, not knowing I was originally in PAWS from Celexa and Xanax.  When I started Effexor and Ativan my vision changed horrifically, it looked like i was looking through a television screen after starting them, then they gave me tinnitus.  I became super numb from the drugs.  

In April 2020 I hit tolerance and physical dependence from Ativan. I couldn’t take being so numb from the Effexor and it began to make me over sleep.  
tapered off Effexor April-September
tapered Ativan from late Sept-Oct
tapered Nov2-14 on Valium, JUMPED Nov 15 2020 Med free.
I have MANY Cognitive impairments currently, tinnitus, time traveling (ground hog day), moving head pressure, anhedonia, etc.  

 

Just started noticing waves and partial windows.

 

4 months 3weeks 4 days since benzo jump & almost 6 months since Effexor jump.

 

Edited April 10, 2021 by ChessieCat
Reformatted

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Waving2MyWindows

 

I'm sorry you went through this. How have your symptoms changed in the last 2 months?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Waving2MyWindows]

Well the last two weeks i actually had little DP/DR and slightly less Cognitive Fog and i thought i had some feelings come back very slightly but now im in another BIG WAVE and my acute symptoms are back again! Including the depersonalization/derealization.  head press never stops, i feel like i have dementia at the moment.

[Altostrata]

How's your sleep?

[Waving2MyWindows]

its ok, 6hrs sometimes less.  though sometimes i take benadryl because of head pressure and then I’ll feel crappy in the morning but i get 8hrs of sleep.

 

My wave just started 48hrs ago, so my typing is getting bad.

[Altostrata]

How did you feel off Effexor in September, but before you started reducing Ativan?

[Waving2MyWindows]

Honestly after a few weeks...the Effexor withdrawal I no longer noticed (probably because of the Ativan) however on the other hand I was also in tolerance withdrawal from the Ativan.  I was planning to get off of the Ativan anyway, but once I was off Effexor the tolerance from the Ativan could no longer be masked or hidden.  

 

Effexor was powerful enough to hide the Ativan issue and Ativan was still decent enough to cover a lot of he Effexor withdrawal besides all of the horrific anxiety and some head pressure i had from tapering the Effexor.  All the nasty Anxiety i had from the tolerance withdrawal is no longer around, go figure.

 

But to add, once the Benzodiazepines had a few months to leave my system since stopping the Ativan...I’ve noticed changes in symptoms maybe from the Effexor withdrawal.  But i can’t say for sure which symptom is from which withdrawal...the Tinnitus, Head pressure, Cognitive Fog, low serotonin/anhedonia are the main symptoms that really destroy me.  And I’ve always been skeptical about trying 5HTP. 

 

I had one of those 5HTP capsules in my hand not long ago and i didn’t have the guts to try it.  

 

Also, i have not had a full window only partial windows.  i feel half dead.

 

(hey im typing better again, mini waves within big waves)