Cloudy Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 (edited) Hello everyone, I first would like to thank the moderators and the community here as it has helped get me off a horrible drug I never would have been able to alone. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I cannot thank you enough!! I have been lurking this site since 2018 on and off and was waiting to come back once I made a recovery but I still am not quite there yet. I was put on Zyprexa back in 2017 (October) and began tapering off a second time in 2019 (January) and have been completely off since November of 2020. I no longer deal with the severe insomnia withdrawal caused by this drug and I am sleeping about 7-8 hours a night although still not as good as it was before taking Zyprexa. My emotions have returned to a certain extent as well and my memory has gotten better. However I am still experiencing symptoms (brain fog, burning sensation in head, mood swings, emotional blunting, feeling disconnected from myself, blank mind, difficulty socializing) and I am not sure anymore that these symptoms are all related to withdrawal or mental illness and I am losing hope. I have made very gradual progress in recovery since the beginning of my taper and also now that I have been completely off medication, but it still feels like there is no end in sight. The thing I am having a hard time coping with is not being able to socialize like I once was able to. I usually cannot come up with things to say spontaneously other than short reply's and this feeds my depression when I try to be social. My mind feels like it is offline somewhere else most of the day and when i try to communicate. It feels like my thoughts are blocked and I don't have access to them anymore. I miss the silly and fun personality that I use to have and am afraid that it might never return. I thought it might be related to having a low mood but there are times when I feel my mood has improved, I still just don't feel connected to my mind like I once did. I have been diagnosed with Schizoaffective (Bipolar) and have a history of severe episodes of psychosis and mania, but it has been several years since. I believe that partly what I am experiencing might be negative symptoms of my illness because I have felt similar in the past just before a psychotic episode, but it was much more disabling. This was before being put on any sort of medications. I am not sure what to do anymore and am having a hard time continuing living like this. Any word of advice? Edited July 27, 2021 by manymoretodays deleted blank lines 2017-2018 Zyprexa 20mg-2.5mg 2019 Zyprexa taper 2.5mg (January) 10% each month 2020 Zyprexa discontinued (November) Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 19, 2021 Administrator Share Posted July 19, 2021 Welcome, @Cloudy How did you go off Zyprexa this last time? On 7/18/2021 at 1:27 PM, Cloudy said: I no longer deal with the severe insomnia withdrawal caused by this drug and I am sleeping about 7-8 hours a night although still not as good as it was before taking Zyprexa. My emotions have returned to a certain extent as well and my memory has gotten better. However I am still experiencing symptoms (brain fog, burning sensation in head, mood swings, emotional blunting, feeling disconnected from myself, blank mind, difficulty socializing) and I am not sure anymore that these symptoms are all related to withdrawal or mental illness and I am losing hope. It sounds like you had fairly significant withdrawal symptoms after going off Zyprexa, but you have seen improvement over the last 8 months. It's not unusual for recovery from withdrawal syndrome to take many months, even several years. Most likely, you'll see continued improvement. How has your symptom pattern changed in the last 3 months? If you feel like you want to socialize, you might start slowly and carefully to get used to it. You might want to join a club, for example, where you play board games or music or go on walks -- whatever you enjoy doing -- and don't have to make small talk. Or take care of pets. This can help you gain confidence. See @Shep 's story This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
JohnBanes Posted July 19, 2021 Share Posted July 19, 2021 I am in awe of you for getting over the terrible insomnia some folks have tapering off Zyprexa. That is a huge achievement. And I am sorry to hear you may be having negative symptoms. Do you have people that are watching out for you in case you enter into a prodromal phase? Previously: Lithium (incorrectly diagnosed bipolar although I never had a manic or hypomanic episode)(taken during summer/fall 2020); Olanzapine (taken from late spring 2020 until late December 2020); Abilify (briefly for a couple of weeks in 2016, caused akethesia); Risperidone (2014-2016); Fluoxetine (two weeks in 2020); various sleep aids, e.g., Ativan, trazadone, mirtazapine and other antihistaminics (winter through summer of 2021). I don't remember most of the dosages and am leaving them blank. Currently: Latuda (40mg) (hoping to taper). Other: I do not smoke, do not drink, have only one cup of coffee in the morning, and don't use anything else. I exercise 3-4 times per week and watch my diet. My posts do not include any medical advice and I am not trained in medicine. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Cloudy Posted July 20, 2021 Author Share Posted July 20, 2021 Hi, @Altostrata Thank you for replying, I was able to follow the 10% reduction each month from my previous dose (more or less depending on how it would affect my sleep) with the gemini-20 scale recommended on here until I was down to about 95% and made the jump off. Its hard to say what has changed with my symptoms in the last 3 months because they can fluctuate throughout the day from feeling better to worse at times. I do notice that my emotional range has improved. I experience some emotions now when doing things I once enjoyed, but not nearly as strong. I still have to make an effort to do those things because of the lack of pleasure. I am able to communicate with others better, but I have to keep it short because I feel impaired and it can be hard for me to think of things in the moment. I have been meeting up with friends recently and we go out skateboarding. They kind of understand what I've been going through so I feel pretty comfortable around them. I just get down on myself when I don't have much to say but there really is no pressure from them. I am into joining some kind of group therapy in the future though. Shep's story is very inspiring and I hope one day this will all be a thing of the past. 19 hours ago, JohnBanes said: I am in awe of you for getting over the terrible insomnia some folks have tapering off Zyprexa. That is a huge achievement. And I am sorry to hear you may be having negative symptoms. Do you have people that are watching out for you in case you enter into a prodromal phase? Thank you, John. It was not easy to say the least, especially because there was a high risk of relapsing and I was still working somehow through it all. I just listened to my body and proceeded slowly. The first time I tried to taper off Zyprexa how my doctor suggested, I was getting around 2 hours of sleep a night or less. This lasted for 3 months as I could not take it and I had to reinstate and taper off at a much slower rate. It was still very difficult but I got through it. Some nights I still don't have that natural sleepy feeling but am still able to fall asleep. It's still so bizzarre to me. I recieve care from a mental health clinic and I see a therapist twice a month. I also live with my parents who keep eye on me. I have a different antipsychotic medication at my disposal if I suspect Im slipping into psychosis, but am holding off of course for as long as I possibly can. 2017-2018 Zyprexa 20mg-2.5mg 2019 Zyprexa taper 2.5mg (January) 10% each month 2020 Zyprexa discontinued (November) Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 26, 2021 Administrator Share Posted July 26, 2021 On 7/18/2021 at 1:27 PM, Cloudy said: The thing I am having a hard time coping with is not being able to socialize like I once was able to. I usually cannot come up with things to say spontaneously other than short reply's and this feeds my depression when I try to be social. My mind feels like it is offline somewhere else most of the day and when i try to communicate. It feels like my thoughts are blocked and I don't have access to them anymore. @Cloudy, this may be a hangover from taking a strong drug for more than a year. Be patient, we have seen the fog very slowly lift -- you've had improvement already. The skateboard group sounds like a very good thing for you to do. Please let us know how you're doing. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
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