GGG95: 25yo from Italy, sexual performance anxiety and very bad depression and GAD

[GGG95]

I do not really know where to start... I'll try to be as complete as possibile.

December 2019: I met a new girl. She was very active sexually speaking and she asked me to have sex multiple times in a day (I was not in the mood and at a certain point in time I lost my erection). I took it really bad and I started having some performance anxiety problems. We tried to have sex multiple times after that moment but before starting having sex I continued losing my erection. We stopped dating (also because covid arrived and we could not meet).

This performance anxiety has continued working in my head and I was sure I had something physical. After one year during a solo session I lost my erection and this is where real problems started. I panicked a lot and I went to a urologist that told me it was all in my head (and he was right) but since that moment (January 2021), things have only gotten worse. I attended some talk therapy with a sexologist but it did not help, so I consulted a psychiatrist and he gave me 10mg Vortioxetine and 30mg Mirtazapine (march 2021) ensuring me that in a month or so I would have felt much better... the first two weeks have been horrible and he was wrong -I did not feel better in a month- but at least I started sleeping well thanks to Mirtazapine. After 2 months of no improvement I consulted another psychiatrist (May 2021) that asked me to start taking Citalopram (40mg) increasing the dosage by 2mg per day. In mid June I reached the maximum dosage. Situation did not improve, the only thing that improved a bit was the anxiety (even because I took 0,5mg Xanax per day). After a month and a half of no improvement I consulted another psychiatrist (third one), that told me that I didn't need all these antidepressants and that they were not effective on me, so he asked me to stop taking them. He asked me to completely withdraw Vortioxetine in one week, to halve Mirtazapine (going from 30mg to 15mg) and to go from 40mg Citalopram to 20mg in one week. I did it and after 2 weeks I started feeling very bad for one entire week: very depressed and anxious. I met again the psychiatrist one month later (end of august) and he asked me to stop taking Citalopram by reducing the dosage in this way: first week from 20mg to 10mg, second week from 10mg to 5mg, third week from 5mg to 0. I did it and on the 26th September I took my last 2mg Citalopram. During the withdrawal I knew that something wasn't right... I was not depressed anymore but I had a weird anxiety. It is like I have been able to overcome the anxiety related to my erection but I have developed a more general anxiety related to sex when I have started withdrawing antidepressants, I cannot think of having a sexual encounter with a woman right now, even though I'm quite sure I wouldn't have many erection problems.. it is an unnatural feeling because on the contrary of before, now there is nothing I should feel anxious about. From day 3 after taking my last Citalopram drop to now, my anxiety is very strong and I'm feeling depressed (suicidal thoughts). My psychiatrist (with whom I am having talk therapy sessions once a week) has told me that it is impossible that all those feelings are caused by Citalopram withdrawal as I withdrew it slowly, but by reading different topics on this awesome forum it seems like he is not right.

I'm do hope this anxiety is caused by the antidepressants and benzodiazepines withdrawal .. I cannot think of me having those anxiety and depression problems now that I am not so afraid anymore to lose my erection.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @GGG95

 

Yes, we advocate a much slower taper than the one you did, and we have many people here who developed withdrawal syndrome after a taper like yours. 

 

It appears you started taking Xanax in July 2021 and went off it September 17. Did you take it every day? How did you go off it?

[GGG95]

I started taking Xanax 0,50 in early April and stopped on the 24th September. My psychiatrist just asked me to stop taking it and so I did.

I’m feeling a bit better these days, but my heart rate is around 90/95 when I’m doing nothing. It used to be 70 before withdrawal and this is annoying because I can literally feel my heart beating ..

[Altostrata]

Very possible you have withdrawal symptoms from going off Xanax as well as citalopram.

 

What would you like peer counseling here to address? We have no answers for your sexual difficulties.