Blanca: tapering Invega

[Blanca]

If therapy is all about "healing trauma" and trauma is that part of yourself that blames you for your sh*tty life, the sh*tty abuse others put you trhough, etc. in order to protect you... isn't that ironic?

 

Why do you want to get rid of the trauma? Is it bad? Is it something that is bad within you? But isn't the part of you that tells you that there is something wrong *the trauma*?

 

So, is it trauma bad? Because if you say that trauma is bad, then you are just agreeing with it: there is, in fact, something wrong with you (and that is the part of you that tells you that there is something wrong with you).

 

And if trauma is not bad, why do you wanna get rid of it? Shouldn't you get rid of what is happening that is causing the trauma?

 

I believe that all trauma goes away on its own when you are safe enough (regardless of how painful that might be).

 

And the idea that the only "traumatic responses" you may have come from the past is just pop psychology gaslighting ("I" prefer social psychology or decolonial psychology). What if... it's not (just) about what happened in your past? What if... there is no right or wrong way to be, feel, act, believe in, think, do...? What if... there is nothing wrong with you? What then?

 

Then... it's your environment, not you. The one that's causing that, not you. The obe that's causing the "symptoms", not the symptoms themselves.

 

This is exactly what the pathology paradigm does: shame you, give you orders, "guidelines", on what a "good" and "healthy" person does, thinks, feels... but that's not science, that's control.

 

Science is objective and is only there to explain why things are the way they are.

 

"You feel like that because of this". That's science.

 

"You shouldn't feel like that". That's not science.

 

"But it's like taking insulin for diabetes". Maybe it's more like going to the doctor with a fever, being diagnosed with "fever disorder", given ice until the fever goes away and then told that you are "healthy" (and meanwhile, the virus is still eating you alive).

 

Imagine a world where, when someone complains about being abused, all the neighbours gather around to stop that instead of telling the victims to "go to therapy" or "go to a psychiatrist". There would be no abuse. That's treating the root cause. Telling victims to fix themselves is victim-blaming and NOT treating the root cause (unless, ofc, you believe the victim "provoked it").

[Blanca]

Mora than 100 people have told me "I can't do anything. I'm just one person".

 

Babe, you are not "just one person".

[Blanca]

Not feeling happy when you are being oppressed is common sense, not an individual moral failure.

 

Only a dystopia would think it is.

[Blanca]

Every single time I see discourses regarding "reality" in mentsl health spaces, there is a purpose to it and the purpose is invalidation/gaslighting. It's about saying that X or Y group of people dunnot see reality, as if we were to be some kind of hive mind species.

 

Every person is a world. Every person has their own reality, even if they act "crazy", "hypocritical", "irrational" or "nonsensical".

 

It's all gaslighting and an imposition of beliefs. That's not science, that's control. I'm not gonna debate whether it's "good" or "bad" because that shouldn't be the point.

 

Edit: freedom is a fundamental human right and we all know how animals end up behaving when they are captive.

 

Maybe we all "have zoochosis". Idk. If there is an epidemic of anything, that's systemic, that's *on the system*, not an individual moral failure.

 

Because what if there is nothing wrong with you? What if there is nothing wrong with what you do? Then it's not on you. You have no control.

 

Because what's the purpose of shame? Protection, of course! "If I do this, thry are gonna judge me. If I do this, they are gonna hurt me". You are trying to control (other people, your circumnstances...). But if it's not on you, what happened or what's happening is just what happened and what's happening. **You are not in control**. It's just reality. Regardless of the why.

[Blanca]

The more I recover my senses (smell, touch, sight...), the more real everything is. Mi house is starting to become my house again. And horrible horrible things happened here on a daily basis for 8 years as I was gone. And my family wants me to act like nothing is going on.

 

I am obviously recovering the image I had of everything before the pills. The "diaries" "I" wrote while gone are new to me: I didn't write those.

 

"I" know my pattern. And my pattern ends with tragedy.

 

They are my pattern. They are my f*cking pattern.

[Blanca]

I'm so sick of every single person that doesn't listen to me.

 

They'd come to me, claiming to be desperate for an answer, and then I'd put the answer right in front of their faces, and they'd perform mental gymnastics worthy of a gold medal to dismiss it, and come up with a completely backwards answer. And then, they'd stick to the answer or start the endless chase again.

[Blanca]

From the start, this had nothing to do with my wellbeing and everything to do with my wellacting.

 

This was about me learning how to please others and do what I have to do.

 

If we talk about my wellbeing, we don't talk about what I do: we talk about what others do to me.

 

We don't talk about how I make others feel, we talk about how others make me feel.

 

I'm surrounded by "saviors" who already have a plan in their heads on "what I have to do" and the people with that mentality are the people that put me in this place in the first place and are still keeping me stuck in here.

 

And if they were to stop the mental gymnastics and actually take my words into consideration beyond the "you are crazy if you believe that", things would actually get better for all of us.

 

But they never will. They are not interested in that. They'll spend all their lives chasing a magical answer that doesn't exist and ignoring the painful reality that is just in front of their faces. Which is a shame because that painful reality also comes with answers on "what to do" in a way.

 

Edit: the people that f*ck me up have all the money in the world to make things better for themselves and others, but they'll use it for the opposite because they are f*cking morons.

[Blanca]

La cosa del momento presente es que... no hay más: esto es lo que hay. Independientemente del por qué ha pasado lo que ha pasado, o de lo que pasará... Independientemente del por qué otros hacen lo que hacen y lo que puedes hacer tú para cambiar eso... Lo que hacen es lo que hacen. Lo que han hecho es lo que han hecho. Esa es la realidad.

Con esas pastillas, no había momento presente. No había nada. Volver al presente después de 8 años rodeada de gente que me amenaza con cosas que ponen en peligro mi vida si no actúo como si nada es un "suicidio". Pero, no tenía elección. Esas pastillas me estaban matando.

Pedí ayuda a todo cristo y nadie hizo nada. Esto no es un suicidio, es un asesinato.

[Blanca]

I spend every second of the day dreading the moment everything will be "just real". Not because it will be "too much" per se, but because their response will be beyond horrible.

 

Because that's what their response has been all this time. And their response is what's gonna be real. What they have done and what they are still doing: that's what's gonna be too much in the first place.

 

They are gonna use my reaction to their torture as an excuse to torture me even more, but the thing is: even if I act like nothing is going on, they are still torturing me.

 

And they are doing that by what they do and what they don't do. Both.

[Blanca]

I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME "WHAT TO DO". IN WHICH WORLD DO YOU GO TO SOMEONE IN MY POSITION AND TELL THEM WHAT TO DO? IT'S CRUEL AND IT'S DYSTOPIC.

 

And it's always things that THEY do not do.

 

If you wanna help me, don't tell me what to do, do it yourself.

 

Oh, you want me to be well? Then take care of me. Care about me. Show me grace, compassion, empathy. Do stuff for me. HELP ME. SHOW CARE. CARING AND JUDGMENT GO IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT SOMEONE BY JUDGING THEM.

 

And don't come to me and tell me that you don't wanns lose me because "I have potential". F*CK YOU! Is that how you see my worth? As a tool? Do I only have value as a tool? As something that has more or less value depending on how well it can perform? On how well it can serve???

 

Am I here to serve, folks? Is that what you are saying? Another pawn. Another tool "for the cause". F*CK YOUR CAUSE. If I only have "value" if I can "serve" you or others, then guess what? I DON'T HAVE VALUE.

 

I learned english while gone and now I'm commiting a lot of typos. And disconnecting because of their torture.

 

Who is gonna help me reach safety? Who's gonna care about my wellbeing regardless of whether I can serve them or not?

 

Imma be brutally rude at this point and tell people to f*ck off.

 

The fact that you are treating me like sh*t doesn't mean that everyone is just like you.

 

The fact that others treat me badly doesn't mean that your maltreatment doesn't matter or isn't happening.

 

Can folks PLEASE start taking responsability FOR THEIR ACTIONS, JUST FOR ONCE, AND STOP PROJECTING, AND STOP COMPARING, AND STOP JUSTIFYING, AND STOP FUTURE-FAKING, AND STOP GENERALIZING, AND STOP COERCING ME INTO BELIEVING IN WHAT THEY SAY IS "THE ABSOLUTE AND INDISPUTABLE TRUTH"? AND CAN THEY PLEASE START HELPING ME THE WAY I ASK THEM TO? OR STOP SAYING THAT THEY CARE ABOUT ME WHEN THEIR ACTIONS DON'T SHOW THAT? BECAUSE WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE, YOUR HELP IS NOT A SACRIFICE, IT'S A PLEASURE, AN HONOUR.

[Blanca]

Whatever happens, it's on you. On you all. On all the people that could have listened, or helped, or cared, or done something, but where "too busy" playing videogames, readkng books, spending time with friends, sh*tting on me behind my back, and just being awful people, if they can even count as people.

 

Because never in my entire life did I think anyone was remotely capable of even THINKING about what they have done on a daily basis for years INSIDE MY HOUSE as I was completely unconscious BECAUSE THEY WERE DRUGGING ME.

 

AND NOW THEY EXPECT ME TO ACT LIKE NOTHING IS GOING ON!!!!

 

AND I'M THE CRAZY ONE FOR BEING TERRIFIED?! THEY THEMSELVES ADMITTED THAT THEY WOULD BE TERRIFIED IF THEY WERE TO BE IN MY SHOES, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THEY GENUINELY BELIEVE THAT THIS IS NOT MY CONTEXT DESPITE SHOWING THEM PROOF AND THEM GETTING THE LOGIC BEHIND IT.

 

It's simple: I was drugged. That's it.

 

Just like someone who takes too much alcohol and they black out.

 

I wasn't aware... and I wasn't aware of the fact that I wasn't aware either, because, guess what? I WASN'T AWARE.

[Blanca]

I slowly lost everything with those drugs.

 

My dog Flix stopped being Flix because there was no concept of Flix in my head. Then, there was no concept of dog, so he wasn't a dog either. Then, there were no concepts, so, in a way, he was... nothing.

 

But there cannot be nothing without something. There was no nothing nor something. It was the absolute death.

 

And now... Flix is starting to be Flix again... And he died 2 years ago...and no one is encouraging me to reconnect, think, believe in, be...

 

Every single time I recover stuff (thoughts, feelings... my mind hits the instant alarm "better be dead because, if you are alive, feel, think... they are gonna punish you until they k*ll you").

 

Idk, but it looks like they are the ones f*cking me up? And that their vision of "wellness" is just being a robot?

 

I don't think people need to be genuises to realize that therapy is not the answer here.

[Blanca]

Guess what? "I meant good" is not an apology and it only shows how you NEVER meant good.

 

It was never about my wellbeing and always about your fear.

[Blanca]

Oh! You want me to "recover"?

 

Recover what? Let's be clear for one second: what do you want me to "recover"?

 

My thoughts? My house? My studies? My healthy joints?

 

Okay, cool, what are you gonna do to help me reclver that?

 

No, seriously: what's the point on going to a "professional" or anybody for help when their help is only unsolicited advice?

 

I have information on how to recover everything that I cannot put into practice because they are not letting me.

 

So they tell me to do those things to achive that end goal... and then sabotage me. I don't care if they are doing it "unconsciously".

 

If you wanna help me, don't tell me what to do: do it yourself.

 

Because I have information on joints that "I" gathered years ago... I asked you to read it. You didn't. I asked you to go to the doctor. You took away my car keys. I asked you for a professional. The professional sent me some exercises to do that I already gathered from the internet. You told me that I should be grateful to the professional for helping me.

 

HELPING ME IS NOT TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. DOCTORS SHOULD TREAT YOU. IF THEY ARE GONNA ONLY GONNA TELL YOU TO "EAT HEALTHY, EXERCISE AND STUDY", THEN THEY ARE NOT TREATINC YOU, THEY TELLING YOU "GO TREAT YOURSELF".

 

What they have done, on a daily basis, for years, has put my literal life at risk... I show them proof and then don't read it. They deny it and invent proof. And I'M THE CRAZY ONE? "Every judgment is a confession" it sure looks like that.

 

...how am I supposed to become aware of this... and "recover"? Recover what? I'm not in a mental loop. I am not mentally trapped. I am LITERALLY TRAPPED, IN MY LIFE. BY THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO "SAVE ME" FROM A "GREATER DANGER". YOU ARE ALL THE DANGER. NOT ONLY DID YOU NEVER PROTECT ME FROM THE DANGERS OUTSIDE, YOU WERE THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL.

[Blanca]

Do people wanna "help me"? Okay, cool.

 

With what?

 

What do you think I need to change? Do you think that thing is inside or outside of me? Is it a belief or is it a relationship?

 

Because, if you are trying to change anything about me (my shsme, my beliefs, etc.) you are not helping me and chances are that you are actually believing, doing, etc. those things.

 

Am I an object or a subject to you? Do you believe I have agency over myself? And if not, why?

 

Should I do X, Y or Z, or should other people not treat me like crap?

 

Are you gonna protect me from abusers or give me "tips" on how to deal with them?

 

Are my feelings, emotions, actions, beliefs, etc. understndable or predictable given my context? And if so, shouldn't we change the context for me to actually stop having those?

 

Am I just something to "improve"? Control? Or am I actually a f*cking living being? Because I cannot be both to you at the same time.

 

If I have agency, then you have no business telling me what to do (, feel, believe in...). If I am free, and others are keeping me captive... shouldn't we be treating THAT? THIS SHOULDN'T BE A RADICAL PROPOSITION. THIS IS F*CKING COMMON SENSE.

 

Unless, ofc, if you believe it's MY fault... In which case... how?

 

How is it my fault? My abusers have abused everyone around them and they have been doing that WAY before I was even born. Explain to me again how I'm the common denominator here.

[Blanca]

"Why didn't she ask for help?"

 

What makes you think I f*cking didn't?? You think I'm stupid???

 

So sick and tired of people more willing to protect their idea of the world as a fair place than to protect ME. YOU ARE LIVING PROOF THAT THE WORLD IS NOT A FAIR PLACE BY DOING EXACTLY THAT. 

[Blanca]

So many people have backward timelines.

 

First, they started abusing me. Then, I asked for help. Then, no one protected me. Then, I started copying my abusers. Then, people used my bad behavior as an excuse to not want to protect me.

 

...you never did. You never protected me. Not even when I was "nice".

[Catina7]

Hello @Blanca and welcome to the site.  You have been through an awful lot, but I'm glad you were able to realize that the drugs were causing problems.  I hope you'll feel welcomed and understood here.

 

Much love,

Catina ❤️

[Blanca]

Victim-blaming is rampant, "mental health problems" are rampant, and that irony is actually connected. It's not a coincidence.

 

It's not a coincidence that we have a "suicide epidemic", yet, "if you wanna die to not suffer, there is something wrong with you".

 

There is a loneliness epidemic, yet, "if you are alone, that's because you don't know how to make friends".

[Blanca]

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." - Friedrich Nietzsche

[Blanca]

If someone abuses you and then drugs you for years to make you shut up, to the point of making you believe that you are not being abused, would you say that that person is safe? Or that you should learn how to please them? Would you say that pleasing them good is a sign of wellbeing? Would you trust the people that saw what they were doing to you and did nothing to stop that? Would you trust the people that blamed you?

 

Me having my joints ***** up is not a human error. Me going from being innocent to learning that the world is a dystopia is not a human error. Me going from having my family do everything for me to doing nothing and expecting me to just do it on my own is not a human error.

 

This is part of narcissistic abuse. This is a pattern.

 

A human error doesn't repeat itself in a daily basis for years despite having all the evidence in the world in front of them on why it's an error and what to do instead.

 

This is situational design. This whole ordeal was made to keep me trapped inside my culty family. All of this. All of this is one big ***** up scheme so I depend on my mother forever, and that way she can keep on running away from her ***** up life by ignoring the fact that absolutely no one loves her because "someone needs her". And I don't need her, she'll make me need her: that's her mentality.

Those who love you don't try to control you. Those who love you don't hurt you and then blame you.

It's simple.

 

And yet, my joints are *****. I don't remember anything due to the severity of the brain damage. I'm still trapped with them and not a single soul is protecting me. All the people that claim to love me are either the ones doing this or people looking the other way.

 

So tell me: do I have someone I can actually trust? Do I have something "worth living for"?

 

I'm so sick of people telling me that everything is gonna be alright because those are the people that do absolutely nothing to help me. I have no reasons for believing that things will get better and all the reasons in the world to believe that things will get way way worse.

 

So, what "should" I do? Because it almost looks like it's NOT about what I do; it's about what THEY do. And changing myself to "make them" treat me nicely is... to please them.

 

Folks, is trying to please those people a sign of wellness or a sign of delusion?

 

Who am I supposed to ask for help? The doctors ruined my body and refused to treat it afterwards. Medical gaslighting is rampant and if you complain about the drugs causing you horrible symptoms, they threaten you with more.

 

Who am I supposed to ask for help? My family is the one that did this.

 

I'm not superman and I don't have to be. I cannot do everything on my own: that's just "toxic" individualism. But it looks like every time I see things for what they are, I'm punished, and every time I get sucked inside their backwards rethoric, I'm "rewarded".

 

It almost looks like for me to live, I need to die.

[FindRest]

Blanca, I am glad you are writing all of this down and giving yourself a voice. I am listening. I am sorry you are in so much pain. The hopelessness, frustration, anger, feeling like an outcast, being judged, etc. sometimes feels like it is more than we can bear. Coming off of psychiatric medications can make all of these feelings and memories so overwhelming. It is like waking up from a coma. 
 

I wish there was some way I could lessen your pain and increase your hope in yourself and your hope in what this world has to offer. We’ve been let down by many. It’s hard not to paint the whole world as bad. The truth is that there is good out there, just maybe not in our current environment or our current situation. We’ve got to hang on so that we can find our way to that good or give it a chance to find us. 
 

I am concerned about you. Several times you seem to be referring to ending your life. I hope this is not the case, but if you are suicidal I strongly encourage you to reach out to someone in person there in Spain. Is there someone other than the family you speak of that you feel comfortable opening up to? 
 

Here is a list of hotlines you can reach out to in Spain if you need them. I believe all of them are free. 

 

https://www.therapyroute.com/article/suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-in-spain

 

❤️

Edited April 2 by FindRest

[Blanca]

6 hours ago, FindRest said:

Blanca, I am glad you are writing all of this down and giving yourself a voice. I am listening. I am sorry you are in so much pain. The hopelessness, frustration, anger, feeling like an outcast, being judged, etc. sometimes feels like it is more than we can bear. Coming off of psychiatric medications can make all of these feelings and memories so overwhelming. It is like waking up from a coma. 
 

I wish there was some way I could lessen your pain and increase your hope in yourself and your hope in what this world has to offer. We’ve been let down by many. It’s hard not to paint the whole world as bad. The truth is that there is good out there, just maybe not in our current environment or our current situation. We’ve got to hang on so that we can find our way to that good or give it a chance to find us. 
 

I am concerned about you. Several times you seem to be referring to ending your life. I hope this is not the case, but if you are suicidal I strongly encourage you to reach out to someone in person there in Spain. Is there someone other than the family you speak of that you feel comfortable opening up to? 
 

Here is a list of hotlines you can reach out to in Spain if you need them. I believe all of them are free. 

 

https://www.therapyroute.com/article/suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-in-spain

 

❤️

I'm gonna be brutally honest rn: if after reading my posts you decided that the best course of action is to send me a list of hotlines, you understood nothing. And I'm tired of people telling me what to do; it's infantilizing, condescending and paternalisitic, and it's the reason why I am trapped here.

 

You are just treating me like I'm some kind of idiot who cannot figure out to call a hotline on their own.

 

I have 1.000 reasons as to why I don't wanna call the hotlines, but I shouldn't have to give you any them for you listen. And chances are that if you don't wanna listen, giving you reasons will do nothing.

 

If you feel uncomfortable with my post, read another one. I don't need this kind of "help" and you surely aren't making me any favour. The next time, consider what your motivations are for doing this and self-reflect, regardless of your supposed "well intentions", just for the sake of the wellbeing of those around you.

 

If I ever have suicidal thoughts, those are *NEVER* gonna be my problem; whatever or whoever is causing those **will be**, and I surely don't need people telling me to get rid of them by using X or Y methods because they feel uncomfortable with what I write and they can't let me be. Did I ask you for help? No. Then what are you doing giving me unsolicited advice?

 

I wouldn't be in this position had people listened or would people listen, and if that's your response, you are making it very clear that you are not listening.

 

And if you ever think of giving me unsolicited advice again, I'm just gonna ignore you. And if you send me some kind of "But I meant good! You are being unreasonable" comment, I'm just gonna block you. I don't have any kind of tolerance for this kind of behavior left.

[Blanca]

Okay, I'm gonna make some quick disclaimers:

 

When I say that I lost my consciousness, I mean it. Some hours ago, during my last wave, I had the biggest reconnection yet. I was looking at the drafts "I" made for the posts that I'll never be able to do because of this, and I was like: "I didn't write these drafts".

 

This is something straight out of a dystopic sci-fi horror movie.

 

So, when I say that I lost my consciousness in 2016, I mean it. And, ofc, waking up from the comma means that I'm not gonna act like nothing is going on (because clearly there is something going on) or like how I have been acting while drugged.

 

I'm not gonna write in SA if I don't even know the web page, because, again, I lost my consciousness.

 

The reason why I disconnect despite reconnecting is because people around me don't have any interest in me reconnecting. They gaslight the sh*t out of me and call it a day. That ofc is completely barbaric and inhumane, and that's without taking into account the rest of the story.

 

People are only interested in making me help them, and to all the people I wanna say something: praising me or hating me for the things I did or say while drugged is bullsh*t. You are adoring and judging someone that doesn't exist, and the fact that still keep on acting like that person is real is f*cking me up.

 

And I wanna say other thing: the reason why people feel like ending it all is because they feel completely alone and misunderstood in the middle of danger and harm. Validating them is not enabling them. If you wanna "treat" anything, you gotta go to the root cause and I have yet to find one person who had bigger suicidal ideation after "I" validated them: all of them told me that, ironically, the felt less suicidal because they felt cared for, seen and heard.

 

Calling a hotline where you are gonna talk to someone who is paid for pretending like they care, only for them to tell you to take the drugs that put you in this position in the first place, is probably not gonna make you feel cared for, seen or heard. "I" have had and "I" have listened too many stories like those to believe that hotlines are nothing more than a scam.

 

Hotlines don't fix sh*tty life syndrome and if you genuinely cared for the other person, you'd actually try to understand them from a non-judgmental point of view, without trying to change anything from them: thoughts, feelings... Because you cannot judge and call that care, and "I'm" tired of living in a culture that gaslights you into believing that it is.

 

It's not. It'll never be. And you can ask anyone who has had a narcissistic parent about how infantilization looks like. It's not care and someone controlling you will never be. When you care, you listen, not judge.

 

"No wonder why you feel horrible given your life. Is there something I can do to help you *fix your life*?". That shows care, not judgment. You are not trying to fix *them*, you are trying to fix what's making them feel bad, and they don't feel bad "cause yes"; that doesn't make any sense and it's just *the basis for* gaslighting.

 

So, again, I am not aware. Judge me or praise me for this is stupid. This is not me and the moment I reconnect again, it'll be clear again...

 

I am f*cked and I'm not gonna stop being f*cked if the thing that f*cks me up doesn't go away, which is people who think that they know much when they know nothing. And I have no problem with people that are ignorant, the problem is people that are "willfully" ignorant. People that don't know, don't wanna know, and think that their opinion is "*the truth*" and if you believe otherwise, you deserve to be judged and punished.

 

No one that cares about you will ever harm you and blame that on you. It's on them. They harmed you.

Period.

[FindRest]

I am sorry. I was trying to help. My brother took his own life a bit over a year ago and I was very close to him. I wish I would have done more to help him. If you were suicidal, I wanted to do what I could to help. Since we are a VOLUNTEER peer support group to help people taper off antidepressants, not trained professionals and not a suicide support group, it would be irresponsible for me not to lead you in the direction I did.

 

I don’t deserve your wrath. None of us here deserve it.
 

Edited April 3 by FindRest

[Emonda]

Dear @FindRest,

I'm very sorry to hear the sad news about your brother. I can't comprehend your pain. 

 

Thank you for reaching out to Blanca to express concern for their welfare. I value you and your contribution to this site.

 

Dear @Blanca,

Rudeness to other members is not ok. Repeat offenders have posting restrictions placed on their accounts. 

 

We are all volunteers here, trying to support each other as we taper off and recover from various medications.

 

Please be kind in your interactions with others. 

 

Emonda

[Blanca]

@FindRestI'm sorry for hurting you. I could have worded everything in an empathetic way and I didn't, and that's on me.

 

@EmondaBut I won't "awknowledge" that what she did wasn't dangerous and nothing but covert abuse. "I" have seen too many people lose their lives and read thousands of completely tragic stories over the years over these seemingly innocent acts acts for me to believe otherwise.

 

You can block me from blocking her, but that won't protect other members of this website from future harm, and as a moderator, it's your responssbility to tackle these issues, not silence them.

 

Not a single person who genuinely has your best interests at heart will play the "I had good intentions" card. Harm is harm, regardless of intentions and that's what should matter.

 

If there is no willingness to have a civil debate around this, and instead points of view will be coerced through sanctions, I have no business posting in this website. All "I" have seen up until now has deeply disappointed me as people seem to still hold onto the same mentality that the psychs that put us here in the first place.

[Blanca]

@FindRest I am deeply sorry for my tone. And I'm sorry for what happened to your brother. That's truly a tragedy and I can see where you are coming from

 

[Blanca]

I am gonna take a time off the internet, I think

[Blanca]

@Emonda Sorry to you too. It was not nice of me to respond like that.

 

I'll take a time off the internet to cool off and gather myself.

[Emonda]

5 hours ago, Blanca said:

as a moderator, it's your responssbility to tackle these issues

 

Moving forward, your posts will need to be approved by a moderator.

 

4 hours ago, Blanca said:

I'll take a time off the internet to cool off and gather myself.

 

Good idea, Blanca.

 

4 hours ago, Blanca said:

@Emonda Sorry to you too. It was not nice of me to respond like that.

 

No, it was not. Thanks for the apology.

 

Please look after yourself.

 

Emonda