BetterLife: Looking for guidance

[BetterLife]

I would first like to thank those responsible for this site.

 

I had hoped to make my introduction in "Success Stories" but, it is not turning out that way.

 

In 1999, during physical on an initial visit, I explained how was experiencing a lot of anxiety due to circumstances with my job and I was prescribed 20mg celexa.   About a year later I changed jobs and moved away.  I found a new doctor who was concerned that I was on Lipitor at 35 years old but, renewed the celexa without question.  From there the celexa kept getting renewed and I naively continued to take it.  Around 2008, my wife and I were seeing a marriage counselor who recommended a psychiatrist to evaluate my medication.  Subsequently, this psychiatrist added 150mg bupropion, and then ativan and ambien as needed.  Later I was switched to Lexapro.  I feel like I literally fell through the cracks.  I have attempted and failed a couple of times to quit without really knowing how to do it.  I have wanted to quit for many years but, circumstances do to family, work, health ect. were never cooperative. 

 

On 3/01/21 I began a daily micro-taper of the lexapro.  .71% reduction per day which equates to 17.6% every 28 days.

In late August or early September (at roughly 2.5 mg) I got hit with about 5 days of heavy withdrawal symptoms, but it passed for the most part.

 

When it passed, I got overly confident and impatient.  I wanted to be down to 1mg by the end of the year.  I made 3 increases to my taper schedule, with the last increase on 11/23/21 to 1.14% per day or 26.7% every 28 days.

 

On 12/17/21 at 1.01mg, the withdrawal returned and it is not letting up.

 

Anxiety, muscle tension, teeth clinching, mild vertigo, unable to focus, fatigue, loss of appetite, insomnia, tinnitus ect.

Frequent but, mild migraines with visual aura.  I used to have about 2 a year, had 14 in last 3 months.  Thankfully, they are very mild but draining.

But no brain zaps.

 

Not sure if I should wait it out longer or go back to a higher dose.

I know I went too fast, especially after being on for 22 years.

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

I'm sorry you are going through this, but glad you were able to find SA. It is a wonderful site with many members going through the same as you are currently. This is your page where you can ask questions, make comments and read the information you will receive. Please only use this page as SA only allows one thread per member so we can keep everything in one place.

 

I was on Lexapro for 20+ years when I decided I wanted to get off of it. The old country Dr I had cut my dosage in 1/2 and that's when I found this site.

 

Lexapro is a very strong drug and nothing to mess with. I had a moderator on here tell me not to mess with it too much because it was like pulling a tiger by it's tail. Boy were they right.

 

Unfortunately most dr's no nothing about these medications and subsequently they usually put people on more or switch you around because that's what they know best.

 

You have been tapering way too fast, but you have recognized this. I think at this point you could try an updose  of the the Lexapro to 1.5 mg as see if that might help. It takes about 4 days to have any reaction to the updose, so we can always updose more if need be. But you'll need to hold for a good long while before you decide to start tapering again to allow your CNS (central nervous system) time to stabilize.

 

Here on this site we suggest only tapering 10% a month. That seems to be the most gentle on most members systems. You can also go slower if needed.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3949-stabilizing-after-a-reduction-what-does-that-mean/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6632-the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

 

When you do decide to start tapering, many members have had great success with the Brassmonkey Slide:

 

 

Please keep notes and report back to us.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1008-before-you-begin-tapering-what-you-need-to-know/?do=findComment&comment=249388

 

You might try a small amount of magnesium and omega and see if that helps. Just try one at a time and give it a while to see how you do before introducing the other one.

 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

I think I've probably bombarded you with enough information to start out with. Please let us know if we can help or if you have any questions.

 

Above all of this, you need to take care of you. Go for gentle walks, read, meditation helps some members. There's a wealth of information on this site also. There is a search area in the upper right corner of the main page of the site. You can also scroll through the different topics on here.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Frogie

[BetterLife]

Frogie, thank you so much! 

It is very helpful to hear from someone who has been able to get off these drugs completely.

 

I am taking magnesium and fish oil, my signature has been updated to reflect those.

 

I do have concerns that the wellbutrin may be contributing to the anxiety.  Even though I have been on it for a long time, could it have a more stimulating effect with the lower dose of lexapro?  Would you recommend any changes to the wellbutin?

 

You may notice that I do not capitalize the name of the drugs.  I started that when I was diagnosed with leukemia as an attempt to lessen it's power and authority.

 

I will add more introductory and biographical information when time permits.

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

Right now I would be more concerned over the lexapro fast taper, (I'll try not to capitalize it,I completely understand your situation). And bravo for that! I think at this point let's get you stable on the lexapro again and we can visit the wellbutrin at that point.

 

I'm not going to sugar coat the lexapro, it was very difficult for me to get off of. But doing a very slow taper I did. And I feel healed from it.

 

Does that sound like a good plan to you? Something you could do at this point?

[BetterLife]

Just took the 1.5mg lexapro.  

 

Don't concern yourself with the capitalization,  it is just something I do for myself and I often forget.

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

I don't mind making a mental note not to capitalize something at all. 

 

I hope you can stabilize on 1.5 mg. It will take approximately 4 days to know. So please keep notes and let me know so we can do an updose if needed.

 

Just tag me by using the @ sign then put frogie behind it and it will show up in a list, then just choose my avatar. Like this @Frogie, then I'll know you are trying to contact me😊

 

Can you please edit your signature to reflect you updosed the lexapro today to 1.5 mg so we can keep it all straight.

Edited December 21, 2021 by Frogie

[BetterLife]

@Frogie

 

I slept a little better last night and woke feeling a litter better today.  Even so, I still made the updose to 1.5mg lexapro today.  Today has continued to be a little better than the previous 3 days. 

It is disappointing to take any step backwards but, it is worth it if it ultimately leads to success. 

 

I am very grateful for you and this site.  However, I must admit that reading here tends to promote my anxiety with regards to how long it will take and if I will be successful.  I mentioned my leukemia earlier and it taught me something that I try to remember.  I was diagnosed in July 2019 with a very rare, but very treatable form of leukemia.   I am in remission and feel extremely blessed.  Because of its rarity, there is not a great deal of information on the internet, but there is a small foundation dedicated to it that does wonderful work.  The foundation's website has a forum.  I later came to the realization that the participants on the forum were largely made of two groups, the newly diagnosed (like myself) that were looking for information, and those who were not doing well and were looking for hope.  The people who had completed treatment and were doing well were out moving on with there lives, not posting about it on the forum.  Thank you for reaching out, I needed to hear about your success.

[NeDaytoDayMJ]

Good luck with your updose and I hope you stabilize.  I too had to updose recently up to .5mg and might have to go up again.  I tried to taper too fast.  We are in the same boat wanting to get off this drug lexapro.  It pains me to updose but we have to have our systems okay to proceed.

Im not doing well at all with symptoms now but I am trusting the process and my body.  I think you should too.  

 

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

Don't think of it as a step back, think of it as stabilizing on a medication and then being able to have a productive life again. Once you are stable, you will be able to taper slowly and hopefully not have a lot of symptoms.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your leukemia.  But you are very lucky that it is treatable. I'm glad you were able to find a forum for that to help you through it.

 

There are many success stories of members getting off of lexapro. Use the search engine in the upper right corner and type "success stories lexapro" and some should come up. I know of one that comes to mind, Happy2Heal, if you'd like to read that one. But don't feel obligated to read topics here if it gives you anxiety. You don't need to have any added anxiety on top of what you already have. I have been off lexapro 2 years. I feel pretty well healed from it. 

 

I hope you start to feel better in the next few days. Like I said it takes about 4 days for the updose to be felt in the bloodstream. So just keep notes and let me know how you are doing.

 

 

 

 

[BetterLife]

@Frogie

 

Good morning Frogie,  I promise that it is not my intention to wear you out.

 

Even prior to taking yesterday's updose to 1.5mg, I woke feeling better.  I continued to feel better as the day progressed and that improvement is holding.  The 3-4 very bad days and then improvement, was similar to what I experienced in early September.  It makes me wonder if I could have pushed through without the updose as I did before.

 

I asked for guidance, you reached out and I intend to be compliant.  I would love to be able to push through and end the year at my goal of 1mg.  But more importantly, I don't want to ruin Christmas for my wife and her family or set myself back further than necessary.

 

Would you support a smaller updose to 1.15-1.25mg?  Also, how long after being stable on an updose to you generally advise before resuming a taper?

I will take 1mg now and wait for your reply.  

Thank you!

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

I'm so glad you are feeling better. I'm just wondering if you are experiencing a window. That's what it is sounding like, but still wonderful!

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

You could try 1.25 mg since you only took 1 dose of 1.5. But again, it will take about 4 days to know if this dose will work.

 

I would give yourself at least a month or so to stabilize on this dose before you think about tapering. You already have a compromised CNS and I would hate to see you feel worse.

 

After you stabilize, we can set up a taper schedule, but you don't always follow it. You have to let your body do the talking. We don't promote more than 10% a month, so it's going to take quite a while to taper off. I just don't want you to get discouraged.

 

You are not wearing me out, that's what I'm here for. To help you through this.

 

 

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

Just checking to see how the updose is so far? I know it's only been a day or so, but hopefully you slept well again.

[BetterLife]

@Frogie
Thank you!  I greatly appreciate you checking.

Unfortunately the improvement was short-lived.  The anxiety increased throughout the day yesterday. However, I would not say that I am worse than before the updose.  Today’s dose was 1.25mg again.
My wife and I are not getting together with family until the 31st.  So I have a little time to get better.  I really don’t want to detract from my wife’s Christmas with her family. 

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

I think you are going through a wave at the present the way you describe it. I think the best thing to do is keep holding at 1.25 mg.

 

Hopefully it won't last long and you'll feel better soon. You have more time than I do, I have people coming today lol...

 

Good luck! Keep me posted 🙂

[BetterLife]

@Frogie
I hope you and your family have a most wonderful Christmas.

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

I hope you do as well.

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

How are you doing?

[BetterLife]

Hi Frogie. 

I was going to check in with you tomorrow since it would be one week.  I want to be respectful of your time.

I've been doing better over the last six days.  Still have near constant anxiety and physical tension, but not as bad.  Other physical and cognitive symptoms have eased greatly.  I have been able to work some and even been able to sit and watch a little television.  Last week I felt as though I may not be safe to drive.  I'm still very cautious, but I don't feel like I shouldn't drive.    I had a massage late yesterday and after I felt the best I have felt in several weeks.  As much as anything, I think the massage allowed my mind to clear for a while.

 

I feel as though I have anxiety about having anxiety.  I have a high tolerance for physical pain, especially if I know how long to expect to last.  This is much more difficult, not knowing how bad it will get, how long it will last and if I will be able to ultimately get through.  I also struggle with the idea that this was unnecessarily done to me by a system and culture that throws a pill at everything.  So the anxiety sort of feeds on itself.

 

But all that said, I'm very grateful to be feeling better and I'm especially grateful for your checking on me!

 

I'm still at 1.25 mg escitalopram.  I did cut my bupropion to 1/4 of a 150mg.   I felt like my anxiety would ramp up in the morning and early afternoon after taking the bupropion.

 

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and thank you again.

[BetterLife]

@Frogie

 

Hi Frogie,  I neglected to tag you in the original.

 

I was going to check in with you tomorrow since it would be one week.  I want to be respectful of your time.

I've been doing better over the last six days.  Still have near constant anxiety and physical tension, but not as bad.  Other physical and cognitive symptoms have eased greatly.  I have been able to work some and even been able to sit and watch a little television.  Last week I felt as though I may not be safe to drive.  I'm still very cautious, but I don't feel like I shouldn't drive.    I had a massage late yesterday and after I felt the best I have felt in several weeks.  As much as anything, I think the massage allowed my mind to clear for a while.

 

I feel as though I have anxiety about having anxiety.  I have a high tolerance for physical pain, especially if I know how long to expect to last.  This is much more difficult, not knowing how bad it will get, how long it will last and if I will be able to ultimately get through.  I also struggle with the idea that this was unnecessarily done to me by a system and culture that throws a pill at everything.  So the anxiety sort of feeds on itself.

 

But all that said, I'm very grateful to be feeling better and I'm especially grateful for your checking on me!

 

I'm still at 1.25 mg escitalopram.  I did cut my bupropion to 1/4 of a 150mg.   I felt like my anxiety would ramp up in the morning and early afternoon after taking the bupropion.

 

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and thank you again.

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

You can tag and talk to me anytime. You don't have to wait a week. I'm here everyday.

 

It sounds like some of your symptoms are starting to let up. That is really good news.

 

You can have anxiety because of anxiety. I went through that for quite a while. I will send you a link on changing the channel. It helps a lot.

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

Fear, terror, panic, and anxiety

 

I couldn't drive for almost a year, and felt worthless because my "hubby" works 10-12 hour days, then would have to drive me to the store to get milk or bread so I could prepare dinner (which I wasn't good at either at that time). But it does get better! I can drive now, even to see my mother in law and have lunch with her without having panic attacks. So, you will get there.

 

I really think you are seeing great improvement. Keep it up. And don't hesitate to talk to me anytime you need too🙂

[BetterLife]

@Frogie

Hi Frogie, I hope you are well.

I wanted to check in with you since it has been a couple of weeks.  Quite often with me, no new is good news.  I have been feeling mostly okay, and "okay" has never felt so wonderful.  Anxiety has eased and my cognition has been much better.  I sill have persistent tinnitus and dizziness but it is not too bad.  No migraines in 14 days!

 This is similar to the pattern I experienced when the withdrawal symptoms hit in Aug/Sept, so I realize it may just be a window.  Window or not, I'm trying to make the most of it.  I started doing yoga which I am enjoying and I do  believe it helps.

I have eliminated the wellbutrin entirely and resumed the tapering of the lexapro (1.10mg).

.

[Frogie]

@BetterLife

 

Wow, what a wonderful update.

 

It sounds like you are seeing the end of the tunnel. I hope it continues for you.

 

Keep me posted. I'm so happy for you!!