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Words of reflection


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i'm in on this secret, the truth about psychiatry, that i wish i could wipe from my memory.


but every song sang, every mile driven, every step taken, is like a poignant reminder of how it felt when i was in withdrawal. a reminder that i once didn't have that. that feelings, as beautiful or painful as they can be, are fleeting. 


there's no winning in this system. it's built to drug you into a stupor and call you crazy if you don't comply. 


and our hands are tied. no lawyer will touch our well-documented insanity. 


i gotta know: is there justice after death? who will be held responsible? 


we're these fragile beings of clay filled with so much hope for a better tomorrow. i pray to a deity i don't know exists that in the end, the oppressed will be atoned.

Current medications:
Propranolol 40 mg (Feb. 11, 2022- present); Amitriptyline 80 mg (Mar 16, 2022-present); Amitriptyline 85 mg (Jan 20, 2022-Mar 15, 2022); Amitriptyline 100 mg (April 2021-Jan 20, 2022)

Recent withdrawals:

Klonopin 2 mg (2020-2021) (Klonopin free as of Nov. 2021!)

Lamotrigine 200 mg (2020-2021); Seroquel 50 mg (2021) 

Past medications:
Ambien (briefly in 2021); Symbyax (briefly in 2020); Mirtazapine (briefly in 2020); Zoloft (briefly in 2020)
Trazodone 150 mg (2015-2020); Venlafaxine 150 mg (2015-2020)
Wellbutrin (briefly in 2015); Xanax (briefly in 2015); Buspar (briefly in 2015); Prozac (one month in 2015)
Lexapro and/or Celexa (2010-2015)


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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Words of reflection
  • 2 months later...

I feel bad for them, the beings who are shuttered inside their walls of capitalism and “science “.  I know now, especially having pursued a degree in the subject, that it’s a crock of crap.  Science requires sole use of the logical mind , and as such requires the blocking out of worlds of perception.  This is where the oppressors live, and their egos thrive atop the inaccessible and trick-of-the-eye falsely tall hill of science, which is just a bunch of (mostly) (white) (upper middle class) men congratulating themselves.

In the end, what is the purpose of having the gift of consciousness?

2007-Prozac then off replaced with Zoloft 

2008- Off Zoloft replaced with Fluvoxamine 

2008-2009 50mg Fluvoxamine 

2009-2020 150mg Fluvoxamine 

2013-14 addition of Lexapro and Zyprexa

2015 back to only Fluvoxamine 

2019-2021 additional 150mg Wellbutrin 

2020-present taper off Fluvoxamine and Wellbutrin 

2022 - mid-February - last dose 25 mg Wellbutrin

July 2021 25 (12.5 twice a day) mg Fluvoxamine hold

switch to compounded XR 12.5 mg Fluvoxamine capsules twice a day mid July 2022

Magnesium, Fish Oil, microdose CBD 

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