6ofclubs19: On Lexapro for 6+ yrs, considering weaning off soon

[Heath]

@6ofclubs19 Hurray!! Sounds great! I struggle with speaking to dr too! I clam up. You will be so more confident with the liquid. and 5mg/5ml is so easy. Simple is better. 
 

I would definitely make some calls and sure you have been prescribed what you need. That was a good catch. 
 

don’t forget if no one has already said this. Slowly transition to liquid . Do NOT taper during pill to liquid transition. 
 

Take a week to change over

first week 3/4 pill dose/ 1/4 liquid 

2nd week 1/2 , 1/2

3rd week 1/4 , 3/4

4th week all liquid 

I also would hold for a month after transition. 

[6ofclubs19]

I emailed my Dr's front desk and informed them of the dosing error. After a few emails back and forth (my Dr thought he was prescribing the 5mg/1mL liquid), he called in another prescription for me. 20mL/day for 30 days, total of 600mL, and it's supposed to be ready for pick-up on Saturday. This will be plenty to help me taper. I think I will cut pills and supplement the lower amounts with the liquid. I already have a lot of 20mg pills and 5mg pills. I bought some 1mL syringes from Amazon and they came in today. I put together a spreadsheet to chart my progress.

 

Watched a video suggested on here about the 6 things to do before tapering. One of them was to have social support. When I first wrote in here, I said I was going to tell my friends and family that I was tapering, so I could get their support. So far, I've only talked to my wife about it, and she has my full support. I am meeting with a friend on Saturday to talk to her about it too.

 

Tonight I want to tell my sisters to get their support too, as we have weekly zoom calls since Covid started. Plus I want to talk about it in my AA meetings to get the general support of my AA family too.

 

Feeling pretty good emotionally today. The breakthrough I had last weekend has some permanence, I'm feeling extremely grounded.

 

[6ofclubs19]

Here's the chart I started. I estimated 6 weeks hold, but that may change depending on how I do.

[6ofclubs19]

Today was day 1 of taking my next step-down dose of 15.75mg. I took 3/4 of a 20mg pill and 0.75mL of the liquid. I took it in the morning before work. Well on my way to work, I could feel the lexapro "working" and I didn't feel right all day. I was more irritable than usual after dinner, but I didn't act out to anyone, so no one was the wiser. Lots of brain fog at work and difficult to get started on things. Also it was Monday, so there's that too.

 

So with the liquid, I just shot it into my mouth from the syringe and swallowed. It was such a tiny amount, I didn't think anything of it until I was well into my commute to work. I usually work 8-5, but today I left early at 2:30. My job can be stressful, but I've worked there 15 years and know the drill pretty well.

 

Tomorrow I am going to work from home and give myself lots of breaks if I need it. My boss doesn't care if we work from home or not, but we can come into work M, T & W if we want to. I like to go to the office to get out of the house. 

 

Been eating well and going on 2 mile walks with my wifey. Not doing anything too strenuous.

 

Oh, the 2nd Rx of the larger bottle of liquid lexapro hasn't come in yet to the pharmacy. It was supposed to get there Saturday but I didn't get any text that it was ready. I'll try to call the pharmacy tomorrow to see what's up. 

[6ofclubs19]

Today I worked from home and was really mentally exhausted and just stayed in bed most of the day. Grateful it was a slow day at work. Ate healthily. Hard to describe my exhaustion, like mostly mental, kinda brain foggy, but being in bed felt great. My wife got home from work at 2:30 and she kept me company, it was so nice. 
Going to sleep now, day 3 of 15.75mg is over. 

[6ofclubs19]

Day 4 of 15.75mg and feeling so much better, like 90%. Worked from home again today and was fairly productive. I got 8 1/2 hours of sleep last night which never happens. Just wanted to check in with y'all. 

[6ofclubs19]

Day 5 of 15.75mg and felt so much worse today than yesterday! It's worse in the mornings, but like right now at 10pm I'm feeling OK. I didn't do any walking or yoga the past 3 days, so that probably has something to do with it. I just got back from an AA meeting and was able to talk about my journey going down on my Lexapro and it made me feel better. It's not so bad that I feel like I need to go up a tic, I am able to get through it. It feels like my physical brain is exhausted, which makes everything about me feel exhausted. But it doesn't last forever, it's the waves and windows. Good night.

[6ofclubs19]

Day 7 of 15.75mg. I went on a 31 mile bike ride with my bicycling group today and it was really fun. I did feel kinda off this morning, but it went away by the afternoon. Mainly I notice this when I'm having a face-to-face conversation with someone. I feel like my tongue is tripping over my words because my brain is stupid. On the bike ride, we stopped about 2/3 of the way through at a coffee shop and I had a cold brew coffee that was DELICIOUS. It was served over ice with a splash of coconut milk, and I sucked it down. OK, so you know I'm curbing my caffeine intake to 1 cup of green tea a day, so this was certainly a treat. Before the coffee, I was feeling very tired. After the coffee (and a stroopwafel and a couple of Medjool dates), I was able to finish the ride with no problems. Woohoo.

 

I am not sure if I'm over the hump of the step-down. We'll see tomorrow. After skipping my 2-mile walks and yoga Thursday, Friday and Saturday (and maybe even Wednesday, I can't remember), I know that physical activity is such a crucial piece to my mental well-being. 

[6ofclubs19]

Day 11 on the 15.75mg and I'm juuuust now starting to feel normal in that I can speak to people face to face and not feel weird. Being on the phone and emailing and doing my work has been fine. Also been eating a ton more carbs than I should but it's like I've got this craving for carbs that won't go away. Going to stick with the 15.75mg as I'm starting to feel leveled out. I went to the gym 2 days this week already, took today off. Feeling pretty good today, like 90%. Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday I was averaging about 75-80% feeling like how I did on 20mg Lexapro, if I had to compare it to something. That's all I've done this past 6 years, been on Lexapro Lexapro Lexapro with nothing else to compare it to. Now I'm heading towards new ground! Onward...

[6ofclubs19]

This is day 28 of 15.75mg Lexapro. Last week was terrible in my head, mentally. Like, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday was really dark in my head. I was having all these thoughts of just running away from everything. I am out of it now, since around Thursday evening I started to come out of it. I realize now it's just my PTSD response to living at home with my wife, brother in law, and mother in law. Nothing bad was happening in reality, and I just had to keep reminding myself that I am safe, I am loved, I am sober, and it will pass, and it did! So grateful to be out of it. 

 

I had an phone appointment with my psychiatrist on Friday and it went well. He was in a agreeable mindset about me tapering at this rate, which was refreshing. He also mentioned that he learned something. He learned that there actually IS generic liquid Lexapro available at a reasonable price, most likely because the FDA has approved it for children, and he doesn't treat children. Great. I also got another Rx for 90 days of the 5mg pills, so that will come in handy as I taper down, etc.

 

So I have 2 more weeks of the 15.75mg. I'm taking 1/2 of a 20mg pill, a 5mg pill, and 0.75mL of the liquid. I am shooting the liquid into the back of my throat and chasing it down very quickly with a bunch of water, and take it all with my breakfast. I wonder if there is any different effects if I let it sit in my mouth, like under my tongue, if it gets absorbed differently. I don't want to find out, so I try to make it go down into my tummy as fast as possible. I don't know if there's any validity to what I'm saying here, but I'm going to continue doing it that way.

 

My next stepdown will start on 4/11/22 and I'll go down to 14.68mg. 

[6ofclubs19]

Tomorrow I start my next step down to 14.18mg Lexapro (1/2 20mg pill + 1/2 5mg pill + 1.68ml liquid), not 14.68mg I said in my previous entry. Been keeping up with my walks and yoga, which really really helps my mood and general wellness. I do long-distance cycling whenever I can, and today I rode 65 miles through the city on an organized ride. Fabulous. I am so exhausted, just wanted to write a quick update. Wish me luck! Positive vibes, positive vibes, positive vibes. 🤩

[6ofclubs19]

False alarm. I start my taper in a week on 4/11/22, not today. I realized that last night as I was going over my taper-down chart. I was getting ahead of myself. So nothing new to report. Just going to stay on 15.75mg for another week, then taper down to 14.18mg on 4/11/22. 

[6ofclubs19]

Hello, I started my 14.18mg dose a little over a week ago. First 4 days again I was super-tired with mild brain fog. Had to take my time with things and not rush. I had to go into work the first 3 days, so couldn't really take naps during the day like I did last time I stepped down. I got through it pretty well. It's now been about a week and a half and I'm pretty much all leveled out. I have been a little testy the past 2 days, but it might be PMS again, or the fact I have been doing zero walking or yoga. That stuff works, I need to get back into it, so helpful. 

 

For the 14.18mg, I'm taking 1/2 a 20mg pill (10mg), 1/2 a 5mg pill (2.5mg), and 1.68mL liquid Lexapro. I have 1mL syringes with 0.10 graduations so I fill it with 1mL liquid lexapro, down the hatch, then 0.68mL liquid lexapro, down the hatch. I immediately chase each liquid does with  a few swallows of water and also my morning smoothie.

 

So, not much to report, just wanted to check in.

[6ofclubs19]

Hola. I'm almost 1/2 way through my 6-weeks on 14.18mg. I'm at 70.88% of my original 20mg dose, according to my calculations. 

Been feeling pretty good! I had some bad PMS around 4/22 that lasted 3 days where I was bitchy at home to my wife and brother in law, but it wasn't too bad. Mostly this kind of behavior manifests itself when I'm in the kitchen and see crumbs on the counter or dirty dishes in the sink. Hey, I live in a little house with 3 other adults and a 13 year old, 2 cats, a dog and 1 betta fish. Crumbs on the counter and dishes in the sink come with the territory LOL. 

 

I wish this taper down was going faster, I'm not going to lie. But really, what's the rush? I have no benefit of going any faster than I am now. I am worried about when I get to less than 5mg, which is where I see people struggling the most on this site. If I stick to my plan of 6 weeks per drop, I won't get to <5mg until June of 2023. That seems like such a long way away, but I've been on 10-20mg for the past 6+ years, so there's really no rush. I've got to keep reminding myself of that. Thinking about it just now, I may consider doing a 4-week step down vs 6, I don't know. How did I come up with 6 weeks? I can't remember now. Probably just being overly cautious.

[ChessieCat]

SA's suggested tapering protocol is no more than 10% with a hold of about 4 weeks to allow the brain to adapt to not getting as much of the drug.

 

The Brassmonkey Slide taper is to divide the monthly reduction amount by 4 and reduce every week for 4 weeks and then on the last reduction of the cycle to hold for 3 weeks instead of one.  So the taper would be no more than 10% every 6 weeks.

[6ofclubs19]

I'm going to copy what I wrote in my journal this past Wednesday:

 

Wednesday 5/4/22

I'm in the middle of my 4th week on the 14.18mg Lexapro and I can feel it. My mind is slower to start working things out. Thoughts, but once they get going I'm okay but then it's like the flow is weird - it's like the thoughts are faster but they're the "wrong" thoughts. Like when I am talking to people like at my job and at home. Then right before I went to sleep last night I had this very quick but so dark, this feeling of complete dread. Like I knew what wanting to die was like - but as soon as I felt it, it went completely away. And also I have this physical feeling in my brain that is GLAD there is less Lexapro up in there - it can flex and work freely, not sure what that means exactly. A lot of this stuff is difficult to put into words. Also today I am working from home and I just feel like being in bed and watching scifi.

 

Feeling much better Thursday, Friday, and also today so far. It seems to be a trend that the 4th week is always what gets me. 

 

5/23 I am supposed go down to 12.76mg. That's in 16 days. Really happy about moving forward with tapering down. I'm having outpatient surgery 5/18 with general anesthesia. If I am feeling wonky on 5/23, I'll hold another week on the 14.18mg.

 

Thanks to everyone here for support and also for the volunteers. I really appreciate this site so much.

[6ofclubs19]

I'm at the end of my 6 weeks on 14.18mg Lexapro, and I am ready to go down to 12.76mg tomorrow. My out-patient surgery on Wednesday 5/18 went fine, and I wasn't in a lot of pain so I didn't have to take any opiods, thankfully.

 

My plan is to take 1/2 of a 20mg pill, 1/2 of a 5mg pill, and then 0.26mL of the liquid; 10 + 2.5 + 0.26 = 12.76. Always helps me to see the calculations in black & white.

[6ofclubs19]

Alright, so I've been on the 12.76mg for 2 weeks and am just now starting to not feel like a crazy b****. It has been really difficult these past 2 weeks. It was rough. The intrusive negative thoughts were relentless and I haven't been going on my daily walks or yoga at all. But thank god I am feeling much better yesterday and today. I even took a nap yesterday and today for an hour and a half each time, and I never take naps, much less two days in a row. My body and brain were like, OK give us a break LOL.

 

I think my next step-down I will go with the @brassmonkey slide, with 2.5% drops, holding for 3 weeks every 4th drop. I think as I'm getting towards the smaller doses, the 10% drop may be too much for my brain.

 

Other than that, things are good at home and work. Friends and family are solid. 

[ChessieCat]

Some members do find particular doses to be harder than others.  There doesn't seem to be a particular dose or drug; it seems to be very individual.

 

You might be okay doing 10% over 6 weeks using the Brassmonkey taper.  The good thing with this taper method is that if at any time you need to you can just hold for longer at any time during the reduction cycle.

 

Are you meaning 2.5% drops for a total of 7.5%?

 

If you mean 2.5% drop for the month/6 week period I think that might be being overly cautious.

[6ofclubs19]

On 6/5/2022 at 10:57 PM, ChessieCat said:

You might be okay doing 10% over 6 weeks using the Brassmonkey taper.  The good thing with this taper method is that if at any time you need to you can just hold for longer at any time during the reduction cycle.

 

Are you meaning 2.5% drops for a total of 7.5%?

 

If you mean 2.5% drop for the month/6 week period I think that might be being overly cautious.

@ChessieCat I mean 2.5% drop for 1 week, then 2.5% drop for the 2nd week, then a 2.5% drop for the 3rd week, then another 2.5% drop for the 4th week and hold that for 3 weeks. So a total of a 10% drop over 6 weeks using the BM taper. 

[ChessieCat]

Thank you for clarifying.  To eliminate confusion it might be better to state it as 10% per month Brassmonkey taper.

 

 

[6ofclubs19]

I have felt very good these past 2 weeks or so, yay. I have 18 more days on 12.76mg, then I'll go down 2.5% to 12.44mg for a week, etc. Here's what it'll look like through mid-August. 

 

[6ofclubs19]

Just checking in. I started the 2.5% step down last Sunday 7/4/22 and haven't noticed anything at all. I literally have felt no affects. But I've also had Covid since Monday, so have been focused on getting better and haven't really had the energy to focus on my mental state. My GP put me on paxlovid (antiviral) which really works. Tomorrow I will do another 2.5% step down to 12.44mg. I updated my spreadsheet because I was able to get Rx from my Dr for 10mg pills. I have a 1mL syringe that I use for the liquid. It's very easy.

 

Edit: Also, I have added Black Cohosh 540mg to my daily herbals to help with peri-menopause symptoms. Been taking it for about 2 weeks now and the only thing I've really noticed is that I'm sleeping really well. 

 

[Carmie]

So glad to see your last drop is going so well @6ofclubs19

 

Looks like Brassmonkey’s taper is going good for you, wishing you all the best for the rest of the taper🧡

[ChessieCat]

15 hours ago, 6ofclubs19 said:

Tomorrow I will do another 2.5% step down to 12.44mg.

 

I think it would be a good idea to hold for a few weeks instead of decreasing again.  Your body is busy fighting the virus so it is under stress. 

 

Please note that I am not posting this with regards to detoxing but it is about how stress affects the body:

 

STRESS

 

Quote from the video:

 

any time that you have a stress response you're  going to decrease repair so basically you can  

defend yourself or you can repair stuff but you can't do both at the same time

 

This is a video about liver detox but the part that I would like to you to watch, and this is where the link begins, is the explanation about stress and the body:

 

Sten Ekberg:  #1 Absolute Best FATTY LIVER DETOX

 

 

 

Edited July 11, 2022 by ChessieCat

[6ofclubs19]

Good idea, I will hold the 12.44mg for a few weeks until I am feeling 100%. I do agree with stress and how it will affect my body's ability to heal.

 

I didn't read your message until yesterday afternoon, so I had already gone down to 12.13mg on Monday and I could totally feel it. I felt off all day and I was really edgy and irritable. Not fun. Today I did take the 12.44mg and felt a little better, mentally. 

 

Edited July 14, 2022 by ChessieCat
removed tag

[6ofclubs19]

Hello, I've been holding at 12.44mg Lexapro for the past 6 weeks, so I'm definitely ready to go down to 12.13mg tomorrow. My mood and health has been pretty great, and I even started doing yoga again a week ago. It feels great. Yesterday I went on a 17 mile bike ride with my friends. 

 

Since getting covid July 4th, I'm recovered. However, I've got some symptoms of "long covid" which include dry mouth, decreased taste ability, and these tiny sore places in my mouth. It's not bad, just annoying. 

 

Will follow up later this week after my step down. Here's my plan for the next 6 weeks:

 

[6ofclubs19]

Hello again. Last week was completely fine, nothing was off in my head at all. I am thinking the 2.5% step down is more agreeable than the 10%. 

 

Tomorrow I'll go down another 2.5% to 11.82mg Lexapro.

 

I continue with the yoga about 4 times a week, it is glorious. It's been 2 weeks I've been back at yoga and I really enjoy it. Toodles!

[6ofclubs19]

Tomorrow will be my next 2.5% step-down, 3rd week in a row to go down 2.5% from my existing dose. Nothing much to report from last week. I did spend Tues-Friday with my older sister out of town. She was having minor surgery and needed someone to spend some time with her to recover. She is really OCD and refuses to get any help whatsoever, so I had to endure 3 days of her micromanaging my every move such as how I drive, how to put away trash, and how to cook rice, etc. However, we didn't fight about anything. I left a little bit earlier than I intended to, but 3 days with her was all I could take. I really wanted to tell her to get some help, but it would have just started a fight and I was doing everything in my power to avoid that. I had some after-affects from the whole thing, and Saturday night I took 0.25mg Xanax that took the edge off. I don't take Xanex very often, My Psychiatrist prescribed me 12 pills (0.25mg each) last October, and I've taken 6 in the past 10 months. Talk to y'all later. Good luck to everyone on this site. 

[6ofclubs19]

Hello again, this past week went well. Again, didn't feel a thing from going down 2.5%. Tomorrow I go down another 2.5% to 11.24mg Lexapro and then hold for 3 weeks, until 9/25/22. Not much to report. I am going to yoga class about 4-5 times a week and I am very strong and flexible, need more work on my balance but who cares, it feels great. I have tomorrow off work because it's "Labor Day" in the US. Today me, my wife, and brother in law rearranged the living room furniture and it looks great and feels so cozy. We cleaned underneath everything and dusted. I will be spending more time in there for sure. Cya later my friends. 

[6ofclubs19]

Well I've been on 11.24mg Lexapro for the past 3 weeks and things have gone great. Tomorrow I'll go down to 10.96mg, Just wanted to check in. I was a little irritable yesterday before a volunteer gig, but it only lasted a couple hours and I was able to get over it so I could enjoy myself the rest of the night. I attribute it to possibly PMS. Having PMS during perimenopause is not fun. I'm 47 and can feel my hormones are a little off, but not too bad. At least I'm not getting migraines. I used to get them all the time during my childhood through my later 30's. They completely went away when I got sober 7+ years ago. Still doing yoga about 4 times a week at this local yoga studio, and went on a 30-mile bike ride today w/friends. Talk to y'all later. I'm going to update my signature now.

[6ofclubs19]

Hey there, just checking in. I'm down to 10.16mg until 11/6/22, this is a 3-week hold. I'll go down to 9.9mg on 11/7/22. 

I've been doing very well mentally except for last week when I hadn't slept very well for 2 weeks and also been burning the candle at both ends for work for as long, and snapped at a subordinate about something they did wrong, but they didn't mean to. I apologized profusely the next day, and I felt horrible about it. It made me scared because that's how I would act all the time before I got sober, and before I got on lexapro. It's such a complicated dance. I'm taking this process all in stride and being mindful that it's not just going down on lexapro, it's so many other factors - factors that I can control that lend to positive mental health like: getting enough sleep and not working so hard! Sounds easy, right?!? Good things: still going to yoga about 4 times a week and my wife is going with me now when she can to the studio, which we are really enjoying and bonding over. I switched to eating 2 meals a day and maybe dropped a few pounds, but I'm not logging my food (like I was with Noom a while ago) and I haven't weighed myself. General I just feel more fit. Thanks for reading.

[6ofclubs19]

Hello my Lexapro peeps! So new things have come to light. October 24-28 I accidentally didn't take my 10mg Lexapro pill, I only took the 1.6mL liquid form. See, when I put my pills together for the week on Oct 23rd, I forgot 3 Rx pills and didn't realize it until that Saturday 10/19. OMG that week was pure hell and I had no idea why I was feeling so completely off. Things have been really nuts at our house because we have a new person living with us, she is elderly and we are taking care of her. It is a lot of work, but worth it because she is such a well-loved person. Other people have told us we should put her in a "home", but we are not your typical Americans that do that. So according to my step-down schedule, I'm supposed to go down to 9.90mg, but I think I am just going to go down to 10mg and hold at that amount indefinitely. Not sure when I'll step down again, so goodbye for now until I come back. Might be a few months or so. 

[ChessieCat]

You might consider hold for the full 4 weeks after the missed dose.  It is better to hold for longer than to reduce too soon.  And only reduce if you feel stable.  Listen to your body/symptoms.

 

It's not a race.  The changes which have been and probably still are happening in your household are an added stress.  That needs to be taken into consideration too.  If it's only been recent, be aware that everyone is possibly "on their best behaviour" at the moment but that might change after people start relaxing and being their normal selves and there might be a bit of tension in the air as everyone adjusts.

[6ofclubs19]

Thanks so much to C. Cat for your advice. OK, I will hold the 10.16mg until 11/26, for a total of 4 weeks on 10.16mg after my missed dose, which I went back to 10.16mg 10/29. I mean you're right, it is totally not a race. Yes, it would be easier to just start taking only the 10mg pill tomorrow, and not take the 0.16mL liquid Lexapro. But on the other hand, why not just keep taking the 0.16mL liquid along with the 10mg pill for another month. I will update my signature again now. 💕

[ChessieCat]

6 minutes ago, 6ofclubs19 said:

it is totally not a race.

 

I extended the end of my taper by a few weeks.  After 6 years of tapering you can imagine that with the finish line so close I was keen to actually get off the drug.  But I was diagnosed with diabetes just before my planned jump off date and decided to start cutting the carbs from my diet (no statin or metformin).  I continued tapering but I ended up going to 0.0025mg because I didn't want to confuse what symptoms the diet might be causing with withdrawal.

 

BTW after only 3 months of low carb eating I put my diabetes into remission.  HbA1c went from 7.0 to 5.2.  And it's now been 1 years and it's still 5.2.  Other things have improved too.  My intro has more information if you are interested.