Esther41: Feeling out of my body because I was 2 weeks in zoloft

[Esther41]

Well, my story is quite weird and complicated. my doctor described me 50mg of sertraline. this was mostly because I had panic attacks and couldn't get out of my bed every morning. after 3 weeks of taking it I felt so bad that I immediately stopped. in one cut. without talking to my doctor. It's been almost 6 months now since then and I still feel like I wanna die. I didn't have one good day last six months. I felt like I was a zombie and I couldn't even sit literally. this is still going. my doctor is completely out of the picture. I still see a mental health team every weak but this doesn't help at all. I still feel like there is something physical in my head. I never felt the same again as before the medication. one really important note is that when I started the sertraline I was using birth control pills for 4 months because of gender dysphoria. since I was born male. my doctor knew of this and this helped me before I started the antidepressants. as soon as I found out that when I stopped with the sertraline after 2 months of still feeling every second like I wanted to die I also stopped the birth-control pills hoping maybe things would change. well, things changed but mostly for the worst. the blockade I was feeling in the top of my head was now moving to below. this was a slow process but it's now at the bottom of my brain. I feel suicidal for months now and I think am gonna do it because I see no hope. doctors don't believe me and say everything should be fine since I stopped my medication.  

Edited January 30, 2022 by Shep
added username to title

[arbor]

Hello Esther.

Welcome to SA.

I'm sorry you're having such distress following your use of sertraline.  Unfortunately, it can often take a while for our nervous systems to recover from the effects of these psycho-drugs.  I'm also sorry that your doctor and mental health team don't seem to understand the physical difficulties caused by the drug, as well as by going off of it.   To get you started and to give you pertinent information, could you summarize your medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in a vertical list format.  

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

I understand from what you've written that you are suffering from withdrawal of the birth control pills.  You've had a lot going on.  Above all, I'm sorry that you're feeling suicidal.  You may notice on the site that this is not an uncommon feeling.  Many of these feelings we call neuro-emotions.  The feelings are side-effects of the drugs.  You can read about them here:

Neuro-emotions

 

Sometimes, I find, suicidal thoughts can be very intense.  This site is here to support you getting through these terrible symptoms.  You are not alone.  Eventually, with time and patience, our bodies and minds do heal and recover.  I encourage you to read the Recovery Success Stories as they can help to keep us going.

 

At 6 months since your use of sertraline, it may be a risk to try reinstating at a small dose to alleviate your current symptoms.  Here is information on this method, and if you have questions, the moderators can help you decide if this would be useful, or whether it would be better to keep going with the progress that is happening though you may not yet feel the results.

About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

Here are links that can help you manage the symptoms as they come up for you:

symptoms and self care

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

The Dr. Claire Weekes Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

"Change the channel" - dealing with cognitive symptoms

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 3 that many of us find helpful are magnesium, omega-3, and melatonin. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you.  

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

Melatonin

 

This is your Introduction site where you can ask questions, record your experience, and connect with other members.

I'm glad you've found us. 

Arbor

[JesusSavemefromWD]

On 9/13/2021 at 7:05 PM, Esther41 said:

Well, my story is quite weird and complicated. my doctor described me 50mg of sertraline. this was mostly because I had panic attacks and couldn't get out of my bed every morning. after 3 weeks of taking it I felt so bad that I immediately stopped. in one cut. without talking to my doctor. It's been almost 6 months now since then and I still feel like I wanna die. I didn't have one good day last six months. I felt like I was a zombie and I couldn't even sit literally. this is still going. my doctor is completely out of the picture. I still see a mental health team every weak but this doesn't help at all. I still feel like there is something physical in my head. I never felt the same again as before the medication. one really important note is that when I started the sertraline I was using birth control pills for 4 months because of gender dysphoria. since I was born male. my doctor knew of this and this helped me before I started the antidepressants. as soon as I found out that when I stopped with the sertraline after 2 months of still feeling every second like I wanted to die I also stopped the birth-control pills hoping maybe things would change. well, things changed but mostly for the worst. the blockade I was feeling in the top of my head was now moving to below. this was a slow process but it's now at the bottom of my brain. I feel suicidal for months now and I think am gonna do it because I see no hope. doctors don't believe me and say everything should be fine since I stopped my medication.  

I believe u…. Your story is similar to mine , the only difference that I tapered slowly after the 3 weeks of 25 mg Zoloft poison. Not in any other drugs …. It is Zoloft it is not you…, despise the fact I feel as bad as u with many more symptoms than u, please don’t hurt urself, we had one exposure to this poison and I believe we will heal one day…. Our brain was shocked and needs time to recalibrate 

[Colonial]

Sorry your not feeling well.

The links Arbor provided are very helpful.

Hoping you find something in them that brings hope soon!

 

[Colonial]

Hi Esther!

 

I hope you are doing a little better the past few days.

You have a lot going on, that is for sure.

Take your time settling in to the website and reading the great links.

 

When You feel comfortable, You can tell us the rest of your history and how the symptoms are bothering you.

This is your thread, for you and about you, take as much time as need to feel comfortable sharing the different symptoms your experiencing.

 

Hope your doing a bit better.

 

 

[Esther41]

Hi!  Thank you guys all so much for responding to me.  Am sorry I respond so late. I do have a lot of difficulty talking and communicating because it really easy triggers a panic attack when I talk about these subjects .  Am already been going so long to this it feels like and it really feels like its never going to end. Yesterday I had so much physical pain in my brain I almost puked.  It feels like their is this (rock) thing inside me. Since my testosterone started flowing again through my body the pain in my head has moved from above to under in my brain. I really don't know if this ever is going to get better.  Am living on a lot of pain killers now.  Really suicidal.  I really thank you guys for creating this website because this is the first time I feel less alone and actually taken seriously.  I've thought constantly about killing myself and I know it's the medication but I've been through it for 5 months almost now and my feeling says it doesn't get better because nothing changes at all.   I feel really stuck and my life is 24/7 a living nightmare I can't escape no matter what I do. I feel like am losing more of my personality every day and I don't recognize myself in the mirror.  IDK what to do anymore. 

[arbor]

Dear Esther,  It sounds like you're going through withdrawal from sertraline and now estrogen.  I'm very sorry that this can be so rough.  It does make us suicidal.  Please know that we take you seriously.  It's important to take things one moment at a time right now.  Let go of thinking about the future right now and focus all the compassion you can muster on getting through each day.  So that we can help you further, could you include in your signature the pain-killlers you are using as well.  Are you taking the supplements that we recommend?  How is your sleep?  Would you like to confer with the moderators about the possibility of trying a reinstatement?  This is a good time to read the link for: 

 

Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal

 

I also recommend:

The Power of Neuroplasicity

 

I will check in with you shortly.  Please stay in touch.  You aren't alone.  And you will get better.

Arbor

[Colonial]

Hi Esther, 

 

I'm sorry your having such a hard go it right now.

Pain on top of everything else makes it hard to look forward to getting through another day.

 

I understand the feeling of loosing your personhood.

When things are so tough you spend time wondering all sorts of things:

 

"Who am I really?

What is it that I want from life.

What is it life wants from Me?

How much do I owe to myself and others to keep on trying when it seems like there's never going to be a change?

 

The narrow tunnel vision makes things look worse than it is.

The trick is seeing both ourselves and the world around us in a way that's less demanding on ourselves and the universe.

That is very difficult when the pain is extreme.

 

I'll be thinking of you!

 

[Esther41]

Hi sorry I didn't let anything hear from me. Everytime I went on here I got mad anxiety so that kinda stopped me. I do feel kinda stable now because my testosterone has returned but I still feel really bad. Like my nervous system is broken. I feel like no progress for the last months when it comes to like how feel brain wise. I have been thinking about going on the meds again and just see what happens. Or Maybe I should just wait. I do feel stable but I also feel really bad and can't to anything.  But am not sure if it's smart to go on 50 mg again or not. I personally am scared to see a docter in the how I am now and maybe if I get on the 50 mg I get some power. Or should I maybe start on a lower doce because i really don't wanne be on this stuff anymore and tampering is my goal. But I also don't want any more risk. Thank for you guys time!!!! If I ever get better I really wanne educate society on how dangerous these subliments are. I've been through hell the last year. 

[Esther41]

Hi my name is Esther41. half a year ago my docter prescipted me 50 mg zoloft because I couldn't come out of my bed and didn't go to school. Am 20. At first I didn't notice much but I really didn't like the way it make me feel so I cold turkeyd after 2,5 week. I never really started feeling like before the medication again and it actually all got way worse. I felt like my brain just stopped working. I didn't had much of the other well know withdrawel symptoms but like I didn't feel like I was still in my body. When I lookted at my arm if felt like it wasn't mine. It's been almost 6 months now and it doesn't feel like am healing at all and tbh i can't take it anymore really if this can take years. I've been thinking about reinstating and then doing tampering but i don't know if this is wise. On the medication I didn't feel horrible I just didn't want to feel like that because it wasn't me. But I right now feel way worse because I literally can't function. My spirit is kinda broken so I also don't really want to take more risks then I allready made. Should I just wait but it feels like this isn't a wise option. Or should I reinstate and then try tampering but am kinda scared if things go wrong. I really just want my old life back and then start working on myself. I right now feel like am dead inside. Completely empty in my head. 

[Shep]

On 9/13/2021 at 7:05 PM, Esther41 said:

Well, my story is quite weird and complicated. my doctor described me 50mg of sertraline. this was mostly because I had panic attacks and couldn't get out of my bed every morning. after 3 weeks of taking it I felt so bad that I immediately stopped. in one cut. without talking to my doctor.

 

It sounds like this drug was causing problems while you were on it, so you may have been having an adverse reaction. Since you've been off it now for six months, you may not want to go back on. 

 

Have you seen any improvements at all since you stopped? 

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements, as many members report their nervous systems are simply too fragile to handle them. However, magnesium and fish oil tend to be calming to the nervous system and many people report they do help. Please only add in one supplement at a time and at a small dose. For more, please see:

 

 King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

You may want to try a bit of fish oil or magnesium first before trying a reinstatement. That may take the edge off enough to get you through this. 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Esther41 Are you taking hormones? To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[MerryJayneFriday]

Ok so my experience with Zoloft was YEARS ago but just this am I was talking to my hubs about when they tried it on me for depression and PTSD.  

The first thing that happened to me was an hour after I took it I pooped my guts out. And then a couple of weeks went by and my give a darn just broke. Was gone. I didn't care about anything at all! Like if you told  me my house burned to the ground and I would reply "oh well " ....

 

And sex was gone. I was in my prime at the time, the inability to reach orgasm was a deal breaker for me. So I quit within a couple of months. Back then it was not advised to taper at all, so I just quit. I don't recall if I suffered any ill effects from the CT but I bet I probably did. 

 

I hope you feel better soon.  I used a lot of epsom salt baths in my Lyrica withdrawal journey and it helped me a lot. 

 

Hang in there 

MJF

Edited February 4, 2022 by MerryJayneFriday
Add closing line