MarisaL: OCD or withdrawals?

[MarisaL]

I have been totally off meds since May of Last year. In 2015, I began zoloft & it made my OCD worse, many months later it sent me to be inpatient. I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia while I was inpatient. So they put me on Risperdal, along with benzos 3 times a day, & tried many SSRI's during my month there. Then a couple days later hospitalized again & put on benzos & a higher dose of Risperdal plus SSRI. Then since that wasn't Working, they put me on Clozapine. For over a course of 4 years they kept rasing the dose of Clozaril up to 450 mg. I was like a zombie. I slept 12 hours a night & tired all the time. I feel asleep in the middle of the store during the day one time. I gained 80 pounds and developed IBS while I was on meds. Of course my primary care Dr. put me on laxatives like colace & miralax at that time. Then in the summer of 2020, the Dr. put me on Latuda & that caused me extreme anxiety. So because the Latuda kept me up at night, they put me on a Benzo untop of that too sleep. November 2020, he put me on Vrarylar. December 2020, went off antipsychotic, benzo, and SSRI. January-may 2021 took trazadone & benadryl to help sleep because insomnia was so bad. From December 2020- October 2021 I would not sleep for up to an entire week. Then it got slowly better where 2 nights of the week I was sleeping 4-5 hours. Now I am still sleeping about 6 hours a night, never having problems falling asleep. I never got a full night's rest though. So I'm exhausted all day & cannot function. What wakes me up is IBS. I went to a functional medicine Dr. In October. Now she is having me take like 20 supplements. But there not helping because without them I still sleep the same. What I've been super confused on is I have IBS still. But it also like become akathesia. If that makes sense, like an inner restlessness. Now of course Dr. could think it's somatic OCD. But before meds 6 years ago, I never had this inner sensation that drives me crazy. I also never had problems with sleep or stomach issues whatsoever before meds. Now this last year even though I have been suffering,, I have been determined to get off meds. I don't want to let Big Pharma win.. Of course primary care Dr & psychiatrist blame it on my OCD, that I need a SSRI to balance out. But part of my intuition is there saying that because there brainwashed. And also I'm tired of people blaming it on my OCD. Because I know of a lot of people say that there are symptoms way worse when getting off them, let alone I was on meds for a diagnosis that I didn't even have. I guess my question is, should I believe them? I have been so lost.. One thing I do I forgot note is I do know supplements can make symptoms worse, especially IBS like symptoms. But I think the years of laxative usage hurt my motility, which then effects my sleep. So I don't know if natural alternatives are going to work now. But of course Dr. blame it on my stress. But how can I didn't have problems like this 6 years ago

[MarisaL]

I have been totally off meds since May of Last year. In 2015, I began zoloft & it made my OCD worse, many months later it sent me to be inpatient. I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia while I was inpatient. So they put me on Risperdal, along with benzos 3 times a day, & tried many SSRI's during my month there. Then a couple days later hospitalized again & put on benzos & a higher dose of Risperdal plus SSRI. Then since that wasn't Working, they put me on Clozapine. For over a course of 4 years they kept rasing the dose of Clozaril up to 450 mg. I was like a zombie. I slept 12 hours a night & tired all the time. I feel asleep in the middle of the store during the day one time. I gained 80 pounds and developed IBS while I was on meds. Of course my primary care Dr. put me on laxatives like colace & miralax at that time. Then in the summer of 2020, the Dr. put me on Latuda & that caused me extreme anxiety. So because the Latuda kept me up at night, they put me on a Benzo untop of that too sleep. November 2020, he put me on Vrarylar. December 2020, went off antipsychotic, benzo, and SSRI. January-may 2021 took trazadone & benadryl to help sleep because insomnia was so bad. From December 2020- October 2021 I would not sleep for up to an entire week. Then it got slowly better where 2 nights of the week I was sleeping 4-5 hours. Now I am still sleeping about 6 hours a night, never having problems falling asleep. I never got a full night's rest though. So I'm exhausted all day & cannot function. What wakes me up is IBS. I went to a functional medicine Dr. In October. Now she is having me take like 20 supplements. But there not helping because without them I still sleep the same. What I've been super confused on is I have IBS still. But it also like become akathesia. If that makes sense, like an inner restlessness. Now of course Dr. could think it's somatic OCD. But before meds 6 years ago, I never had this inner sensation that drives me crazy. I also never had problems with

[Onmyway]

Dear @MarisaL, 

welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. I am so sorry you are suffering so badly with all of these symptoms and the years long drugging that have had other health consequences. 

I am glad you found your way to us. We will do all we can to help you get through this. Know that things do get better but it just takes some time for things to get there. You will. 

 

This is your thread and while you are welcome to participate in the other forums as well, we like to keep all of your information in this one thread - I merged two of your posts here. To keep everything related to your case here you just would reply to the last post. 

 

Before we advise you on anything, can you please let us know your drug history in the last few years in a drug signature? Please include all of the supplements as well.

Here are the instructions on how to create a drug signature. 

 

It would be also possible if you could put your current symptoms and severity in a list so that we know what we are dealing with - these should include both physical and psychological and should be as succinct and clear as possible. 

 

I'll be back in a few hours with more info and help after you have done these.

 

[MarisaL]

Hi yes I will get to that just need to get drug history from psychiatrist