AuroraVitalis: Through Hell and back, tomorrow is my last chance to save my life, need advice asap

[AuroraVitalis]

Hello, my I am a 26 y.o man, nice to meet you, thank you so much for this forum and information, but I still am very confused as to what to do in my specific case and the clock is ticking against me 😢.

 

I have a background of withdrawal problems with SSRI and other medications since November 2020, with mostly sertraline that I have been taking for 5 years along ability (successfully tapered and stopped) as well as Wellbutrin (successfully tapered and stopped) but never managed to get off and gave me all sorts of withdrawal effects (brain zaps, weird feelings, anxiety...) ;

 

I have been bridged by my doctor and given paroxetine  been given 40 mg while I was originally before switching on 50 mg, I felt much better and was living again normally and very happy, but when the time came to withdraw it/taper it by going -25% each month, my withdrawal symptoms were too hardcore again alas this time as well, and had to keep taking my stable, 1 tab of 20 mg paroxetine

 

I had to stop taking paroxetine and been bridged again by another doctor to take fluoxetine instead because of the larger half life, I have only been able to take one capsule of 20 mg back in 9 january, and quitted turkey cold since then because of pfizer vaccine side effects (currently cured) .

 

I have been cumulating a lot of terrible side effects and I cannot get fluoxetine in oral liquid form in my country, my main issue is how do I proceed in this case to not only gradually taper, but to GRADUALLY RETAKE again fluoxetine and save myself ? I have been seeing all kinds of doctors and my heart problems as well as arritmia are getting life crítical and I literally can't do anything on my own without checking my heart doctor first then get in emergency fluoxetine 20 mg caps, which I have to dissolve in water and use as mentioned in a tutorial in this website.

 

 

Please how do I proceed now that I have stopped paroxetine & took fluoxetine only once afterwards, to retake fluoxetine again gradually and not have serious adverse effects ? I definitely don't know if I should restart by taking again one 20 mg cap, but let me know !

 

Thank you so much and sorry if this was supposed to be just an introduction thread I am very confused and scared 😭😭.

[Onmyway]

@AuroraVitalis

You'd usually reinstate a very small dose of a drug. So you'd start with 1mg of fluoxetine, not 20. Are you able to measure 1mg? That helps us measure see if there are any adverse reactions. If nothing goes wrong with that within a week and you see some improvements you'd stay on that dose for a while until you stabilize again.

 

You'll get better again, please hang in there!

 

I am answering on my phone so can't link all the threads we recommend but will do so when I get to a computer again. Or you can search for a topic on reinstatement.

 

OMW

[LizzieTish]

Hang in there, @AuroraVitalis! You're in my thoughts and prayers. 🤗💗🙏

[AuroraVitalis]

Thank you all so much, you can't imagine how much just being able to find these answers relieves me and gives me hope 😭. I was so afraid to be left on my own and restart on a dosis of antidepressant (fluoxetine in this case) that would be very dangerous for me and would only give me severe reactions and worsen my physical health...

 

I am not sure about measuring with exact precision but apparently I can empty the "powder" of one capsule of 20 mg fluoxetine, mix it with 40 ml water, shake it and mix it very well, take 2 ml with a syringe 💉 and drink it quickly, is that right ? I am not able to get liquid medication forms in my own country but my mom will try to bring me tomorrow fluoxetine liquid solution 20 mg/5 ml.

Should I really start with 1 mg or 0.5 mg ?

And what about lorazepam, how can I mix 0.5 mg tabs and take very small amounts as well, do I really need to take lorazepam or benzos even though I didn't take for too long benzos ? (Really rarely very small xanax amounts when I was on paroxetine and had too many stress issues, as an "emergency wheel" as told by my doctor, been before with paroxetine one month under nordazepam 7.5 mg (started with 7.5 mg tabs 2 weeks then 2 weeks on ½ tabs 3.25 mg), I never had problems with these since I never took them for so long.

 

I just woke up again spontaneously at 1:35 pm, sweating and with an intense panic attack and my heart racing uncontrollably, I have cumulated these heart situations and side effects that the mere fact of eating or drinking lately (especially after I did the mistake of trying CBD full spectrum oil, literally 2 drops, one in the morning and another the evening) makes me feel so weird and gives me heart & breath problems, almost as if my organs or body are having severe problems, I was wondering if in the worst case scenario after tomorrow exams I can take heart medication as well after tomorrow heart exams.

 

I was also wondering if I should go back on lorazepam and if yes, how to proceed so, especially since the panic attacks and anxiety crisis related to seriously health/heart as well as being forced to turkey cold quit problems kept happening since months now, knowing that I took fluoxetine at the same time as lorazepam ?

 

(My doctor prescribed me lorazepam 0.5 mg tabs, how do I take it again with fluoxetine 1 mg ? Do I have to take it as well if starting with 1 mg of fluoxetine isn't enough ? Especially for the midnight sudden extreme panic attacks and tachycardia/palpitations/arrythmia ? Can I even take, as well, lorazepam with heart medication like propranolol ¼ tab for example (5 mg of propanolol, what I used to take for tachycardia prescribed by my heart doctors in general to calm the tachycardia episodes, not sure about arrythmia and very low heart rates that I get lately at rest or in the few hours of sleep I get, before having tachycardia and arritmia episodes again...)

 

How can I mix 0.5 mg of lorazepam tabs in this case with water since the tabs have excipients as well even if they are soluble ?

 

My current fear is to do one last fatal mistake and let doctors especially psychiatrists or peer pressure make me follow psychiatrist random suggestions and recommendations especially when no psychiatrist so far seems to understand about slow 10% tapering or reinstating, I am praying and have so much to live for, I just managed to get my BBA this month and I have the most supportive girlfriend ever (currently in another city in my country, my birthtown ironically, usually studying abroad in Seoul South Korea), I used to be very active physically, a workout calisthenics and gym aficionado, but I know all that is too stressful for my nervous system, even jogging at moderate pace apparently, I would stick initially to walking enough steps and stretching only while stabilizing)

 

Thank you so much in advance and again, please I can't even do the effort of searching for the right answers and solutions and just writing here feels like writing SOS messages with my last breath, I pray every day to get out of this never ending nightmare and would rather live stable enough than claim back a totally sudden normal life any soon 💕 ✨.

[Onmyway]

Hi @AuroraVitalis, 

 

Here is the link that I promised. (I am travelling so will do this better in a day or two). 

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

Can you help me out and do your signature in a more succinct way. Leave only the dates and the drugs that you were taking and if you stopped them, the manner in which you stopped them. Omit any symptoms, diagnoses, anything else. It will help us give you better advice as the narrative gets confusing. 

 

Like this example: 

2002-2009 - sertraline 20mg, fluoxetine 10mg, lorazepam as needed 1mg/month total on average

2010 - stopped sertraline in 4 month taper, 20mg, 10mg, 5mg

2019 Feb-March  lorazepam 1mg daily, stopped cold turkey

2021-now - 10mg fluoxetine, Vit D, CBD oil, vit B12, St John's Wort, propranolol 5 mg, omeprazole as needed, 20mg

Alcohol - 1 glass of wine a day

 

Thanks and I will be back once you have done that to give you better advice. 

 

Hang in there. This will resolve. The terror awakenings are quite normal withdrawal symptoms even though they are scary and very unpleasant. Do get your heart checked but for many of these symptoms you have to just accept them and live with them for a while until they subside in a windows and waves pattern. They are not themselves life threatening even though it may feel like it. 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

What is happening in your brain? - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

OMW

 

[AuroraVitalis]

@Onmywayl Please I need help, since I can't get fluoxetine in liquid solution form before my mom comes back from abroad, and I don't want to spend another terrible night or wonder again if I can survive and stay awale from 1h30 to morning time again just to be able to take fluoxetine, I was wondering if I could start today (currently 13h, just about to check my psychiatrist and try to get a fluoxetine prescription liquid form AND if I somehow convince her to get compound drug prescription and get Fluoxetine in liquid form this afternoon.

 

In this hypothetical case, if I take 1 miligram of Fluoxetine at 16 pm, and I don't get adverse effects and even restart stabilizing my health and withdrawal symotoms, do I tomorrow take it each morning at a specific morning hour ?

 

 

[Onmyway]

Hi @AuroraVitalis

I still can't understand your signature. Please remove all references to psychiatrists and symptoms, tests etc. This is more confusing than helping. Also be as clear as possible about months/dates - i.e. when in 2020 did you stop all your med? What did you quit cold turkey in January - paroxetine or fluoxetine? When did you go from 40mg paroxetine to 20 mg paroxetine etc. 

 

You don't need to wait for your mom for the liquid you can make your own liquid - dissolve 20mg into 20ml, each 1ml=1mg, take 1mg of the liquid. 

 

OMW

[AuroraVitalis]

@OnmywayOkay will do asap, I managed to successfully get Fluoxetine and took successfully 1 mg ; however I am wondering how long will it take for me "stabilize" especially my heart and anxiety serious issues, will one mg of Fluoxetine work in my favor ? If yes, how will I know so and how long will it take to be metabolized properly ?

 

I just took 1 mg 20 minutes ago, I feel a sudden reaction and felt something in general just after drinking it, I am still not totally sure if it was for the best or the worst yet, I will grab cab to head back home and rest/eat asap and go away from stressful places and situations.

[AuroraVitalis]

I don't know anymore what to do guys, I need a miracle in order to make it through... Please pray for me, I need more positive content, hope, comfort  & support...

 

I don't know if I can make it or 1 mg of fluoxetine will help me, might have damaged my nervous system just too much & missed my lucky window for good 😭😭, I am Even afraid 1 mg was too much for me to handle...

 

I took paroxetine last time 9 January,  I never could taper paroxetine, as soon as the half life went (slower than 24 hours if I take less than one tab and automatically trigger withdrawal symptoms like sudden sleepiness followed by sleep paralysis (dreaming while being conscious, almost as at the same time in the realm of the dreams & reality at the same time) took fluoxetine for the first time Sunday 9 January & 0.25 mg lorazepam twice (morning & afternoon), took the evening before Sunday 8 January, 0.5 mg of lorazepam, one single cap of 20 mg fluoxetine, so basically since Monday 10 January I quit turkey cold fluoxetine , and it was the first and last time I ever took it, until today (1 mg fluoxetine at 15h).

 

I just felt a weird "sudden feet pain" that used to happen whenever I was under SSRI spontaneously , as well as my body feeling more nervously stable, not excessively sensitive like it has been since a while, it felt so nostalgic and gave me some hope and even made me laugh , I won't celebrate victory yet, experience taught me to never too, but I really hope this is going to be the stepping stone to get better hopefully.

 

I was wondering if I can tolerate one daily infusion of safran (used to do it daily, my body really would feel sedated and it even helped me with my chronic inflammation, had to stop because I was starting to tolerate it and taking it every day twice (less than 10-20 big filaments per infusion)

 

I was also given lemon balm (200 mg) + valerian (250 mg) phototherapy pills called Strenov, but I never dared to take them because of my fears and weird reactive body, should I give it a try this evening ? Can I take right now a small amount of safran infusion as well to help me relieve my anxiety or should I wait until tomorrow morning, especially since I am still "processing" fluoxetine and thinking of taking Strenov (valerian + lemon balm) this evening & my usual magnesium (300 mg) + vitamin b6 before sleeping  ?

 

Thank you all in advance, I literally type in my phone since I feel more comfortable taking a break in my bed especially after too much efforts and health crisis situations/panic attacks ... I hope I can sleep well tonight and start stabilizing correctly from now on and make it through to proceed with the next steps to save myself and claim my life again, I might need to take heart medication soon as well after getting my cardiologist results and prescription, especially since my heart arritmia is obviously still present and fluoxetine may now stabilize my body to be able to tolerate medication (in small amounts of course) more correctly.

 

 

Do not hesitate to advise me, I would rather not dwell on taking any initiative without your help, I try to look on the guides and feedbacks but I must confess it feels so stressful and overwhelming especially with so many warnings and my own severe anxiety and recent traumas...

 

PS : I will update again my signature asap please bear with me I am still processing today and hope everything will go alright and get stable from now on.

 

PPS : fluoxetine 1 mg tomorrow morning after my breakfast ? (Let's say I have breakfast at local sunrise, around 8 am)

[LizzieTish]

Hey @AuroraVitalis. Please remember you are not alone in your journey. I pray you'll see improvements soon, even small ones. 🙏💗

[AuroraVitalis]

@LizzieTishMMeans the world to me, no matter our distance and even our possible difference of personal convictions or religious beliefs, thank you so much for supporting me and many others here, no matter how dark my tunnel and situations might seem 🫂 ⭐✨ 🤍

[Onmyway]

@AuroraVitalis

Pls take your med at the same time every day. I'd avoid any supplements other than magnesium and omega 3s

Have a look at the symptoms and care forum to find non drug techniques for managing symptoms. You have to accept that you may feel badly for a long time but it's not by itself dangerous - some stoic attitudes really help on this journey.

 

Please update the signature as instructed because that is how we are able to give you good advice. If we don't understand what's going on it would be hard to give you advice.

 

You will get through this.

OMW

 

[AuroraVitalis]

@OnmywayPlease what about lorazepam , I definitely need to reinstate it as well, how much do I start with, when do I take it ? How do I take it, like it was easy for fluoxetine but what about solid tabs, especially with something as small as 1 mg of ativan (lorazepam) ?

 

thank you in advance

[Onmyway]

Hi @AuroraVitalis, 

the signature is great. It helps me get a better view now of what is happening. 

I am not sure why you think you have to reinstate lorazepam, you have only taken it for 1 day on Jan 7th, that would not cause dependence. What is it that you took Jan 9 to Feb 22nd? Is it lorazepam and fluoxetine?

What do you take vitamin B6 for? 

OMW

[AuroraVitalis]

I have serious anxiety issues and heart issues, nothing makes sense anymore, my health is in critical condition and only my choices can save me or make me worse, I have so many questions and I only get more doubts when I ask them to doctors or even here, my health is in critical condition and I CANNOT ALLOW myself or count on emergencies or my dad if anything would happen to me, I have to manage everything on my own, I am lonely and scared because I don't know anymore which choices are helping me or which are making me worse, you are telling me to not take supplements yet I have serious health issues and I lack so many nutriments because I can't eat well and have extremely serious heart palpitations and arritmia and tachycardia & sleep issues for WEEKS.

 

How am I not supposed to not take a benzo ? I am scared Because you are telling me to not do anything and wait for answers YET I HAVE TO DO ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING EVERY DAY OR I WILL DIE I WILL LITERALLY DIE AND NO ONE WILL HELP ME OR BE NEXT TO ME, I would love to have daily therapy at home or doctors at home and my parents are paying everything for me and have their own issues and reactions and don't understand and my dad is convinced that I need an anxiolitic as well as well as myself but I am scared so scared, anything I do or try even yesterday's 1 mg fluoxetine didn't seem to work.

 

I want to just take heart medication in very small quantity whenever I really need it to calm my heart and I still am waiting for the heart doctor results and I have to wait while dealing with extreme anxiety and health prohlems alone and can't tell anything to anyone because they will just screw me up further or create stressful anxious reactions for my mind and body, and I am scared and don't know if I should or not and my life is in critical condition please don't make me more confused and anxious my health is in critical danger I literally cannot get out of my bed or my own room or eat or do anything or even move extremely slowly without having heart issues anymore, please if there are other people who can guide me and react to my topic as well and have more guidance I would really appreciate it, just writing here from my mobile from bed is too exhausting and takes too long (I can't sit too long and use my computer, I am in a hospital bed situation in my own room, and I need good answers in emergency to do the Right thing or tell you how I reacted everytime)

 

Thank you so much in advance please help me I beg you 😭😭😭

[AuroraVitalis]

@OnmywayI take honey + ginseng + royal gensing complex + vitamin B9 the morning (due to kack of proper nutrition and excessive daily strss and anxiety, prescribed by doctor) ;

 

I take magnesium + Vitamin B6 prescriped by doctor the evening before going to bed to help me rest and sleep

 

I was prescribed safran infusions(I took one yesterday evening at 19 pm, I used to take one or two infusiond and ingest the safran filsments as indicated by my psychiatrist, took a break from them because of tolerance building, started taking it again yesterday evening 19h pm because of excessive anxiety and heart palpitations.

 

I was prescribed Lemon Balm + Valerian pills by my psychiatrist because of my excessive anxiety, stress and sleep problems to avoid retaking lorazepam, especially since I was dealing with extreme withdrawal symtomps and daily life conditions and excessive "survival" mode, I didn't dare to take them yet because I am so afraid of how my body would react and my dad is tired and is ill as well and I botheref him too much and gets mad when I panic or find myself in emergency situations excessively and too often despite being patient with me and doing his best to help me and take me and pay me doctors, exams and medication.

 

I am not taking anything on my own will, and I am afraid to take heart medication currently even though I will definitely need it and I am still waiting for my heart doctor results, today  I will see my "healer/alternative therapist" (she practiced theta healing, magnetism, chakra energy) and she is so sweet and affectionate and I swear I feel so much better after every session with her, sadly I can only see her once per week, so I am trying to find a home therapist as well asap for more regular therapy and support while I can still breath... 😭

[AuroraVitalis]

@Altostrata Please I need your advice, what is your take according to your experience and knowledge

 

 

Please take into account that I am consulting a psychiatrist and she isn't convinced that withdrawal can take longer than a month or few weeks, I printed the Royal College of psychiatrists pdf and I have just reinstated in emergency fluoxetine 1 mg yesterday, I was wondering if you could check my situation and let me know if I can take a benzo in emergency and in very small amounts to help me temporarily cope with my extreme anxiety and sleep problems while I stabilize my health condition especially my serious heart symptoms, I am lacking options here and if I don't do anything or prepare the ground to convince my psychiatrist tomorrow as well as to cooperate with me to help me and tell my parents and somatic doctors as well about my current situation I will never make it out or it will be too late.

 

Note that I am trying to avoid at all costs taking medications because I am so unsure and feel like I make a big mistake or worsen my situation every time, but when doctors all insist that I have only "psychosomatic" symptoms or just need therapy and "get help about my anxiety" or my parents pressuring me to take again antidepressants and benzos in their original amounts or take me to other pasts psychiatrists who screwed me up every single time and didn't do their job correctly, AND I HAVE TO ASSUME ALL THE BLAME AND RESPONSABILITY and kept trusting other psychiatrists ...

 

Thank you in advance

[AuroraVitalis]

Serious regular Heart problems (arrhythmia, sudden tachycardia...)

 

Hello everyone, I was wondering if anyone can help me on how to proceed with regular arritmia and tachycardia, they started happening too frequently after I took 2 cbd full spectrum oils (In an attempt to manage my turkey cold withdrawal symptoms , I wasn't aware of my exact condition and didn't even know about this forum and its information/guides until a couple of days ago ..).

 

I was already noticing often heart skips and been through an original withdrawal symptoms period especially after I missed, changed, tapered as told by my doctor too often & too quickly my original Sertraline treatment (in addition to my usual Wellbutrin 150 mg [no withdrawal symptoms, didn't even notice a change when stopping it] & Aripiprazol 10 mg treatment ; Aripiprazol created a very severe whole

psoriasis gradually and had a hard time stopping it because of intense Akathisia & Restless Leg syndrome, FYI I managed to calm the akathisia episodes by taking small amounts of Artane 5 mg tryhexiphenidil (would take ½ or ¼ tab, 2.5 or 1.25 mg approximatively at every Akathisia episode, managed to not notice Akathisia and withdraw successfully aripiprazol.

 

Sertraline on the other hand was a whole challenge, I tried to withdraw and taper gradually every week and cut the tabs into smaller amounts and gradually take the smallest tab portions every week, sadly I would end up having withdrawal symptoms

 

Been through a stabilizing window by retaking again sertraline, eventually gave me withdrawal symptoms again, switched to paroxetine and one month under nordazepam  (benzodiazepine), became very stable and could live, study, workout as usual, despite noticing some heart skips and having eventually side effects such as  low saliva, hyper photosensitivity, light halos, but they were common side effects so I didn't worry much.

 

I have ended up having serious withdrawal symptoms and even developed a chronic body Inflammation after doing Pfizer's booster shot (previous 2 AstraZeneca shots gave me no problems even on withdrawal symptoms besides common mild vaccine side effects), I was going through a hell and slowly having serious health issued (related to my body inflammation, mostly intense thorax "muscle spasms" especially when I would breath when laying down in bed or sitting, would manifest again more intensively and having sudden heart tachycardia and faintness (I was working at a company as usual, I was very stressed because I had a lot of pressure to pass my trial period and peer pressure as well, they ended up deciding to not renew it and the company and managers were very abusive, all while I was having a lot of personal problems let health problems...

 

I ended up quitting turkey cold antidepressant after trying to bridge with Fluoxetine 20 mg (taken one single time 8 January along some sporadic lorazepam 0.5 mg-1 mg tabs) , I never could manage to withdraw paroxetine before successfully because of withdrawal symptoms (-25% every month, from 40 mg to 10 mg, would stay stable enough at 20 mg, I would always end up having sleep paralysis lower than that and sleep issues, I was already having insomnia on 20 mg now that I think about it, but I noticed that after doing the Fluoxetine bridge I didn't suffer sleep paralysis, and stopped fluoxetine and lorazepam turkey cold because I couldn't endure the chronic body inflammation symptoms and problems.

 

The blood tests I was doing since I stopped medication revealed that I was slowly recovering from my inflammation, and the blood test in January 31 as well as the one I did 26 February showed no signs of inflammation.

 

I took a couple of drops of cbd oil full spectrum Wednesday

23 February in an effort to help me with all my withdrawal symptoms, sadly even though it seemed to work initially I made a fatal mistake, now I have a very serious regular non stop arritmia, shortness of breath as well as a whole list of symtomps typical of withdrawal, I did a cardiology autonomous nervous system exploration as well as wore a holter for 24 hours and I am still waiting for results and I extremely fear for my life.

 

I currently took 1 mg of Fluoxetine yesterday afternoon and took 1 mg today arounf the same afternoon hour in an emergency reinstatement attempt as suggested by a moderator and reinstatement guides here, I feel really weird and very sedated at some moments as well as having no clue if it is working for the best or the worst, yet it literally makes me feel relatively stable fonctional for some time, 2 hours so far at best.

 

I can't even eat food or take my prescribed vitamins without triggering a mixture of weird body feelings as well as some manageable tachycardias, (they were usual during my turkey cold period) but now the reactions are so intense and skyrocketed so much, even the mere act of drinking water my body can react weirdly or trigger tachycardia.

 

My other simptoms : insomnia (followed by sweating and waking up in early morning/midnight tinnitus, confusion, irritability and mood swings, regular anxiety and anxious thoughts,  brain Hyperactivity (ADHD ? I apparently had already mild adhd since my childhood, doing sports helped me a lot to cope it, but nothing hard to manage or this extreme)....

 

I did a cardiology autonomous nervous system exploration, I am still waiting for results but I definitely have hyperactivity signs, as well as waiting for my 24h holter results.

 

If you have any idea to guide me and take the best decisions to save my life and stabilize myself as much as possible, I would really appreciate it, I am sadly running out of time and it's getting worse day after day, especially when I can't really count on my country clueless medical services and doctors in general.

 

Thank you so much in advance.

 

Edited March 1, 2022 by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic

[AuroraVitalis]

Update : I noticed since I reinstated 1 mg of Fluoxetine yesterday and today that I have vision flashes as well as very frequent tinnitus, I am afraid 1 mg was just too much for me to handle unfortunately, and I don't know anymore if I am making things better or not, is it still possible for me to lower the dose of Fluoxetine ? Maybe take even way lower doses starting tomorrow ? 0.5 or 0.25 mg instead ?

 

Please tell me how to proceed before It's too late for me, I am really afraid I made irreversible damage and have no chance to make it through... 😭

 

[ChessieCat]

4 hours ago, AuroraVitalis said:

Serious regular Heart problems (arrhythmia, sudden tachycardia...)

 

This is the link to SA's topic:

 

irregular-heartbeats-palpitations-tachycardia-bradycardia

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @AuroraVitalis

 

Going off paroxetine can be very, very difficult. This, and perhaps your going on and off drugs earlier, may be why you are having those odd heart symptoms. Quite often, doctors will prescribe fluoxetine when withdrawal symptoms from paroxetine appear, as a "bridge" to tapering off fluoxetine.

 

You're probably familiar with this topic which tells how to make your own liquid fluoxetine Tips for tapering off fluoxetine (Prozac)

 

7 hours ago, AuroraVitalis said:

Update : I noticed since I reinstated 1 mg of Fluoxetine yesterday and today that I have vision flashes as well as very frequent tinnitus, I am afraid 1 mg was just too much for me to handle unfortunately, and I don't know anymore if I am making things better or not, is it still possible for me to lower the dose of Fluoxetine ? Maybe take even way lower doses starting tomorrow ? 0.5 or 0.25 mg instead ?

 

Please tell me how to proceed before It's too late for me, I am really afraid I made irreversible damage and have no chance to make it through... 😭

 

 

Did you have flashes and tinnitus before you took 1mg fluoxetine?

 

Exactly what drugs are you taking now, at what times o'clock, with their dosages?

[AuroraVitalis]

@Altostrata

 

No never, neither the tynnitus THIS frequently and intensively nor the bright flashes (I really don't notice flashes by focusing my vision on my surrounding I think, almost as if a bright flash came from nearby but it couldn't be this bright at daylight)

 

 

I don't think I either did when I took Fluoxetine 20 mg for the first time (and my single, only time), I am having a hard time to recall my symptoms back then, but my heart and health and stability weren't as bad relatively speaking, I may have started freaking out before because I couldn't figure out what was wrong and everyone including doctors would just think they were panic attacks, yet I had the feeling that everything was wrong because of the Antidepressants, hence why I turkey cold quit (Notice please that Fluoxetine isn't even available in tabs format in my country let alone liquid, and wasn't aware of how to make my own liquid form or ask a pharmacist or a my dad (he is a biologist pharmacist & my mom is a physician specialized in biology ; both of them do me blood tests whenever I need them but they don't know anything about antidepressants and benzos long term side effects and always think that whatever happens is Because I don't take my medication or try to stop it... Ironically they are right in a sense, no matter how wrong they were mostly)

 

 

As for my medications/supplements :

 

 

Morning after waking up at 7:00 am - 10 am With breakfast (Oat flakes + milk + honey, egg, nuts, almonds, dates usually):

 

 

1. Ginseng, royal jelly and honey multivitamin natural based multivitamin concentrate

 

2. Vitamin B9 5 mg tab

 

3. Omeprazol

 

3. natural safran infusion, small quantity of safran

 

 

15h30 : 1 mg of Fluoxetine

 

 

Evening after consuming dinner:

 

 

1. natural safran infusion + ingesting safran

 

2. magnesium 300 mg + Vitamin B6 capsule

 

 

Note that whatever I take was medically prescribed according to symptoms I described verbally to somatic doctors (cardiologist mostly), currently I didn't do enough physical examinations and I am so afraid to do any like MRI or Scans (last one I did was hell and I was so afraid on how my body would react to the contrast drug injection, and MRI take too long and require an injection as well and require me to stay still laying in my back... I definitely cannot survive that ; I did too many radiology and scans since last year and MRI take too lonf I have a chronic pharyngitis since a long while now (2 years more, used to vape on a daily basis and had vaping addiction as well as some occasional cigarettes in nicotine emergencies ; successfully withdrawed from vaping 540 days now exactly, I had to withdraw from vaping as well as stop taking caffeine & pre-work out supplements and avoiding drinking tea or coffee excessively since 7 september 2020 aka the beginning and never really ending of my withdrawal hell.

[AuroraVitalis]

@Altostrata I forgot to mention I also take this in Spray Form or syrup form up to 3 times per day for my chronic pharyngitis, even though lately I react terribly to it

 

Apixol® s based on propolis, sage, thyme and vitamin C as well as other active ingredients intended for the treatment of inflammatory conditions of the throat.
 Apixol® Throat Spray relieves accompanying symptoms such as a dry throat, tingling, pain or difficulty swallowing.

[AuroraVitalis]

@ChessieCatmy heart problems are excessively critical and life threatening at this point, as well as did a full autonomous nervous system exploration and I measured my heart rythm for days with a smart watch... They are WORRYSOME and really hardcore, whether there is a real serious organic illness or note I am going to need heart treatment or even a cathatheric heart ablation/pacd maker, my main issue is if I can tolerate these with my current Fluoxetine reinstatement , I am literally going to end in emergencies and I am the only one aware on how to dose correctly my antidepressant, if I am lucky tomorrow my psychiatrist can prescribe be and be okay with my very slow reinstatement protocol as well as explain it to my family so that even my other doctors can be aware of my very particular "extraordinarly rare" situation, note that I don't live in a fully developed country and most doctors don't speak English and their medical knowledge is outdated or comss at best from french sources, which aren't the most updated on psychiatric research...

 

My psychiatrist speaks and understands English Fluently, I will show her tomorrow the royal college of physician leaflet and pray that I wil make it through another day, as well as be healthy enough to journal and monitor all my symptoms as I have just started doing the evenjng after dinner and while on bed having serious insomnia (currently the case as well, barely slept from 22:00 pm to 00:00 am ..., It is now 03:53 am, I had to ask by emergency phone call to be brought food in a rush and monitored while I am answeing this thread from my phone

[Altostrata]

2 hours ago, AuroraVitalis said:

even though lately I react terribly to it

 

What are these reactions?

 

Why are you taking vitamin B-9 (folic acid)? Why are you taking omeprazole? How do you feel before and after you take fluoxetine?

 

Please keep daily notes of times o’clock you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

 

 

[AuroraVitalis]

@Altostrata Please tell me in emergency if I can lower my fluoxetine 1mg dosage (reinstated and taken twice so far only yesterday and monday),take note that I am not even sure if I managed to take 1 exact mg since I only try to make my own solutions  and I have to do it sometimes in a rush and I don't have yet a compound version or liquid version from abroad of it to dose it exactly) ASAP to 0.25 mg instead so I can convince my psychiatrist to proceed as well this way and can help me reduce peer pressure to take 20 mg fluoxetine ; I already have a compound drug prescription and I need to rush asap especially if I am going to lower doses

 

1 march 2022 around  22 :00 pm : had dinner, drank safran infusion, took magnesium 300 mg + vitamin B6 brushed my teeth  slept pretty quickly, was feeling exhausted and my mind “shutting down” and not able to think of anything and trying to take this opportunity to sleep.

 

 

Woke up afterwards after successfully sleeping, wasn’t sure of the hour nor wanted to even check, focused on trying to sleep again, having a hard time because of anxiety, possible sleep apnea, possible blood pressure issues… was doing my best to sleep again

 

 

2 march 2022 Woke up at  00:16 am : had to go to toilet after not successfully sleeping again, I was feeling very weak and shaking

 

 

00:21 am : body tremors, palpitations, anxiety and rapid thoughts kicking again sometimes and trying hard to calm myself and think positively without success

 

 

00 : 25 am : anxious thoughts, turned ON AC heat again, mechanical noise worries me/scares me spontaneously especially since already in extreme fear and trying to manage my current symptoms and reactions; sudden heartbeat: tinnitus, blurred vision (especially when I take a look at smartphone in total night light + dark theme + reading mode and lowest luminosity)

 

 

00 : 37 am : in bed, oriented to the right, I no longer can tolerate the position on my back (guaranteed palpitations and heart rhythm trouble sooner or later) ; experiencing tremors and aforementioned symptoms disorders, tingling in lower limbs, I notice again that  "I forget to breathe" (sleep apnea?!! No the first time, happens especially when trying to go back to sleep or even whenever I try to sleep or feel suddenly sleepy and my body and mind needing to sleep in the middle of the day even sitting, “mind shutting down but forgetting to manage correctly vital fonctions” ; I highly suspect it’s sleep apnea at this point and I have no idea how I will ever treat it at this point…

 

 

01:41 am awake while wearing my sleep mask, having a hard time to sleep again, trying to stay still and calm and fight and manage my thoughts and symptoms

 

 

02:34 am woke up a family member in emergency by phone to bring me water, hot milk and a yoghurt & banana because I was still feeling very weak and even worse and shaking, she stayed with me until I ate at my pace and her presence as well as watching over me reassured me.

 

 

2:47 am : I notice and confirm very dry eyes, especially since I took fluoxetine again yesterday afternoon ; use eye drops for dry eyes

 

 

 

2:57 am : turn on AC to heat my room, cousin still with me, lay down in bed again ; was thinking and ruminating about taking Strenov (Lemon balm 250 mg + valerian  200mg) pills but I never did before and I am afraid of any possible adverse reactions, especially since I took safran infusions

 

 

5 am : managed to sleep somehow in-between even if it took too long and just light sleep phase

 

 

Woke up 7 am : after experiencing vivid intense nightmare, convinced it was real, literally praying and begging inside the nightmare that it wasn't real because it was so horrible

and impossible for me to accept, never had such a vivid and intense nightmare before I took 1mg fluoxetine yesterday

 

 

 

7:12 am : eye flash while laying in bed even though I was wearing sleep mask, same feeling, flash came from outside my vision cone

 

 

7:14 am : vibration in my back (in my back behind my left arm pit, they started manifesting recently, not sure if before taking again fluoxetine 1 mg) & weird numbness/ tingling on my hand, not sure if due to withdrawal symptoms or heart/blood pressure problems, they kept happening since I took the cbd oil 2 drops back in Wednesday

 

 

8 am : pain in my left shoulder (muscular/Joint pain style)

9:42 am woke up and got out of bed (morning time, sunny Day), very dry mouth / tongue, went to the toilet to answer nature's call (not exactly solid feces but neither diarrhea)

 

 

10:17 am – 10:24 am: drank soluble omeprazole 20 mg before eating any breakfast aliment to avoid gastroesophageal reflux issues (prescribed by doctor for this reason) ; immediately after taking it, feel my throat react weirdly (almost as if it was sore or can’t feel it wet enough”) and a mild heart palpitation + mild tremors

10:28 am : still waiting to notice omeprazole adverse reactions, still feel my throat weird, this same similar reactions happen literally everytime I ingest food or water ; sometimes very intensively, moderately, mild or not at all if I am lucky.

10:37 am : ate a boiled egg + whole milk (with a bit of natural honey on it); mild palpitation

10:57 am : ate cooked oat flakes with whole milk and some maple syrup on it ; mild - moderate palpitation + increasing heart rate or irregular heart rate & throat weird feeling ; stressed/anxious as well about completing this journal before I have to take fluoxetine again, consult my psychiatrist in time and be ready to convince her to help me with my specific situation, anxious about heart exams results still delaying, REALLY AFRAID to take fluoxetine this afternoon again at a 1 mg dosage, I am convinced that it is too much for me and should have started with way lower doses when reinstating such as 0.25 mg, don’t know what to do know because I reinstated with 1 mg by suggestion of a moderator here, I feel anxious because I did a terrible mistake again and being never able to save myself especially when my family and psychiatrists aren’t aware of how bad I am nor realize that I cannot take normal doses of fluoxetine, I am not even ready to be hospitalized or end up in emergencies if I my contraindications and small doses of fluoxetine are established !! This feeling of the clock ticking against me is killing me and not managing to feel any better day after day especially since I took 2 drops of pure cbd full spectrum 23 february is worrying me that I will never be able to get better ever or I have screwed myself forever and I have to accept my death and I am so afraid of death and have so many regrets… I insist, I have never had THIS terrible health issues and withdrawal symptoms ever in my life, I made things so worse since I took cbd full spectrum, I was way more stable and had more chances for a successful reinstatement before I did this mistake or knew about this forum and slow reinstatement and slow tapering.

11:08 am : Took Folic Acid 5 mg ; apparently this form of vitamin B9 supplement is really outdated and I need to order asap alternative, better absorbed supplementation forms

11:30 am : took red ginseng  7 years age 800 mg + royal jelly 400 mg + honey 3g multivitamin complex ; didn’t really react well to it, between my anxiety and stress and having to manage so many things before I reach the night and be ready for everything and to make the best choices so I can help myself before it’s too late especially to be ready for hospitalisation because I can’t take it anymore every miserable day getting worse and having no improvement for anything and have my doctors and hospital doctors informed about my really specific situation as well as my contraindications and weird reactions and precise amount of fluoxetine and schedule I should take every day as well as to avoid them giving me anything that may worsen my nervous system… I really don’t expect my doctor to understand me or my family any soon, especi

11:48 am : blurred vision (tachycardia + palpitations), anxiety

12:44 am : need to take a break from journaling and consult my cardiologist after I called her and she answered me back by phone, she will try to let me talk with her and explain me the results of my 24h heart rythmh holter as well as coordinate with another cardiologist I did with a cardiology exploration of my autonomous nervous system ; I will post this meanwhile and I need you to tell me asap if I can lower today’s fluoxetine 1 mg usual dosage so far because it feels too excessive and only making my situation worse so far and try to stay stable at 0.25 mg instead from now on until I stabilize better and keep you updated as usual with daily journaling !!

[AuroraVitalis]

14:48 pm, at my psychiatrist , I am really scared I didn't take fluoxetine yet, I don't know anymore what to do or not, I feel terrible and dead inside and In a desperate need to do something because I have to take fluoxetine either before It's my turn, guys PLEASE ADVICE ME BEFORE I MAKE ANOTHER FATAL MISTAKE AND EITHER SKIP FLUOXETINE TODAY, or END UP TAKING A TOO LOW DOSE, OR ANYTHING THAT WILL END MY LIFE I HAVE SERIOUS SYMPTOMS LIKE SLEEP APNEA AND DAILY INSOMNIA.

 

Do I take today 0.5 mg, 0.25 mg or even 0.1 mg ? I am so lost and afraid please guys, I am even afraid that fluoxetine isn't working for me and thinking to ask my doctor to switch to citalopram I am so lost and confused and yet I am the one supposed to convince her this isn't getting me anywhere the extreme societal, medical and peer pressure because of my health condition isn't helping me at all !! If I need to be hospitalized in a psychiatric clinic and have therapy and night surveillance then at least I want to be taking the right amount of antidepressant and not be pressured or get into conflict with peers and professionals because I refuse to take random amounts of medication because they are CLUELESS about withdrawal symptoms and this kind of situations they have never seen any in their lives ...

[Onmyway]

@AuroraVitalis, 

you are catastrophizing. None of these withdrawal symptoms are endangering your life. You are uncomfortable and suffering and that is obvious but this will pass and is not in itself dangerous, you just have to bear it. 

We can't tell you what dosage to take because we are also guessing and can't tell you how your body will react. 1 mg reinstatement is a low enough dose to help see if it works but safe enough to stop if it makes you worse. You can take it again or not, or take a smaller dose. We really don't know how it will impact you. Compared to your symptoms before, do you think fluoxetine has helped you or made you worse?  

 

If I were you, I would stop all these supplements that may be making you worse. You can stop them for a week and then add them slowly one by one and see if any of them make you worse. Unless you are a pregnant woman or have some documented deficiency you don't need  folic acid or the B-vitamins. B-vitamins can increase anxiety. Lemon balm and valerian may have other effects, we end up being sensitized in withdrawal. When you say infusion of saffran do you mean tea or do you mean intravenous infusion? 

 

Please make the signature changes that I requested - what did you stop cold turkey on Feb 28th and pls add all the supplements you are taking. 

 

You will be fine. Let us know what the cardiologist says. None of this is life threatening or a fatal mistake. 

OMW

[Altostrata]

You're sleeping about 6 hours a night? Is this your usual sleep pattern?

 

Please continue to take 1mg fluoxetine. It will take at least of week of consistent dosing to ramp up, 2 weeks to fully take effect.

 

If I were you, I'd stop taking folic acid and ginseng, they may be complicating your symptom pattern.

[AuroraVitalis]

@AltostrataI had no choice but to switch to approximately 1 mg of Fluoxetine to 0.2 mg since Wednesday because 1 mg was just too much for me and I reacted very terribly to it, I am tolerating better 0.2 mg so far.

 

I have also started taking bisoprolol 2.5 mg for my extrasistolar heart issues.

 

I will certainly have to try taking soon lorazepam 0.5 mg the evenings to help me sleep, especially with the excessive lack of sleep.

I certainly have developed besides withdrawal symptoms serious psychosomatisms as well (symtoms I experience are nowhere compatible with withdrawal symptoms), my psychiatrist wants me to get informed on hypochondria and get psychoeducated with her help on such topics, she doesn't force me to take anything and doesn't mind me taking small amounts of fluoxetine, as long as it's what my body reacts the best to in my current circumstances.

She also told me about vagal nerve stimulation techniques besides the usual mindful meditation.

 

Please let's just keep it simple, the rest will be dealt with my health professionals, how do I proceed to reinstate correctly on the long term, stabilize on the long term as well as withdraw correctly (10% method and monkeybrass method please for my case)

 

Thank you so much in advance ~

 

 

[AuroraVitalis]

UPDATE : Finally stabilized on Fluoxetine/Prozac (0.2 mg), what's next ?

 

Good evening 🌆 there (or good morning depending on your region 🌄😋), I hope you are doing alright and if not I wish you a speedy recovery and better days ahead 😊 🤍

 

 

I want to give you all an update on my situation as well as require specific advice on my questions.

 

 

(NOTE: please focus only on the questions I will ask on each post of this topic, excessive information and/or additional questions about details such as supplements and medication and past background... As well as lack of answers or clarification of doubts only reinforces my anxiety and depression as well as hopes to ever back on my feet especially ASAP and without pressing my luck either ; I have updated/removed my original signature about my background because it's irrelevant in my current circumstances and only complicates my thoughts especially with my ADHD getting so worse in situations like these.)

 

1st question : I reinstated on Prozac/Fluoxetine after quitting turkey cold 20 mg fluoxetine/Prozac in 9 january, after a bridge from Paxil/Paroxetine 20 mg. I have already read the topic about fluoxetine/Prozac bridging, as well as many other key ones (stabilization waves & patterns) but I really cannot find the answers I'm looking for : after a reinstatement attempt back 7 days ago on 1mg of fluoxetine/Prozac, THEN lowered the next day on 0.5 mg Fluoxetine/Prozac because of too intense side effects, still had too intense adverse reactions,  then finally lowered and settled up to this day on fluoxetine 0.2 mg, after 5 days taking 0.2 mg of fluoxetine I felt an improvement instead of worsening my symptoms, especially not feeling any adverse reactions while eating food as well as a clear improvement of my withdrawal symptoms, and I could even act in my more usual kind and fun mood as well as sleep with more ease and wake up with less anxiety, as well as noticing my usual ADHD symptoms (which I am learning to manage with my therapist and daily work on myself once again (I NEVER TOOK ADHD medication nor I am planning to any soon especially while dealing with fluoxetine and withdrawal symptoms)

 

Obviously 0.2 mg isn't enough to get a correct stabilization, I want to be stable enough to be much more functional, social, able to practice sports as usual, study and read with more ease... The first time I stabilized I could swear I was 100% back on my feet, and I only ruined it because I was tapering again quickly because of ignorant psychiatrists, I never ever wamt to rely on psychiatrist tapering plans, and my current one is fully aware of the doses I take and doesn't mind about it : whatever makes me feel comfortable and helps me is okay for her, and she knows aboit my reluctance and deception towards meds and past psychiatrists, I really appreciate her because she wants me to focus on psychotherapy & CBT and offers me scientifically backed phitotherapy alternatives, she only prescribed me fluoxetine and even a liquid form I could get from abroad at my request because I understood that my withdrawal symptoms were too hellish and quitting turkey cold withdrawal symtomps would take too long and years at this rate, and I don't have that luxury sadly nor I can withstand staying miserable that long, I want to live and achieve goals slowly but surely 😊✨)

 

So, my First Question ❓ here is : how do I proceed to slowly and most safely increase my current 0.2 mg fluoxetine dose to my next milestones (How much & for how long ?) And what main goal do you think I should aim and settle on to remain stable long enough to be functional as well as to optimally and most safely proceed to taper very slowly and gradually and give time to each taper stabilization to risk the least withdrawal symptoms (brassmonkey slide method should be the safest apparently)

 

Much thanks in advance 🤞🙏 dear community of fighters and survivors.

 

Edited March 7, 2022 by ChessieCat
added INTRO topic title before merging with intro topic

[Altostrata]

Good to hear you're doing better on 0.2mg fluoxetine. What symptoms have improved?

 

It will take a couple of weeks for the decrease to 0.2mg fluoxetine to take full effect. If I were you, with your cardiac issues, I might not increase it, allow your system to stabilize gradually with the 0.2mg fluoxetine as a temporary crutch. This may take months.

[AuroraVitalis]

I

17 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Good to hear you're doing better on 0.2mg fluoxetine. What symptoms have improved?

 

It will take a couple of weeks for the decrease to 0.2mg fluoxetine to take full effect. If I were you, with your cardiac issues, I might not increase it, allow your system to stabilize gradually with the 0.2mg fluoxetine as a temporary crutch. This may take months.

@AltostrataJust answer me this : do I gradually proceed to increase back my dose the reverse way I would taper ? Yes or Not ? Because I literally cannot find a clear answer or seem to get it, I do not want to be compared to situations that are totally unrelated to mmine @brassmonkey

 

Honestly if anyone could kindly answer me this, I would be eternally satisfied and move on and proceed whatever way suits me, whether for the best or not.

 

Genuine thanks in advance 😊

 

[Altostrata]

5 minutes ago, AuroraVitalis said:

do I gradually proceed to increase back my dose the reverse way I would taper ?

 

NO

[AuroraVitalis]

1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

 

NO

@AltostratavOkay, thank you so much, please delete my topic as well as my account in this forum due to personal as well as privacy reasons, thank you very much and wish you a lovely evening 🌆.

[Altostrata]

You put us through this work and now you want to delete your topic, 'bye? That's not how it works here.

 

In exchange for the advice we give you, we wish to retain your topic as a case history. You can go away if you wish. 'Bye.