Lucaaa: Introducing myself :)

[Lucaaa]

Hi, I haven´t posted here in a while but  I just wanted to give an update..

 

Since 2 years I have been on 43mg Sertraline now and there wasn´t much change in my state and PAWS since I dropped first from 50 to 46 and then from 46 to 43 mg 2 years ago.
My symptoms are still:
.) Eye Floaters
.) low libido (was a lot more on 50mg)
.) almost everything I eat gives me bloating like I am pregnant
.) Heart palpitations
.) concentrating for longer periods is hard and exhausting
.) generally feel weak and my nervous system reacts to every trigger, like if I do to much, are too active I get restlessnes and sleep worse

.) can´t work

.) Anhedonia
.) decline in cognitive skills, feel like I got dumber and my brain isn´t functioning right

 

I know these symptoms aren´t that severe but it  just worries me that things haven´t gotten better and considering the fact that things only got worse and worse the further down I got, why should it get better If I further decrease?

 

Overall the pattern in the last years was: less medication = less brain and nervous system working. And thats why I am still on 43mg because I thought maybe it get´s better and I can taper again, but nothing got better and that´s why I haven´t decreased my dose any further..

 

I just know if I deacrease my dose again I will further destabilize my nervous system. I even thought about raising my dose again but then I think I will probably never get off. So here I am sitting on 43mg.. since 2 years shall I stay on that dose? decrease? even though I know everything will get worse? I probably have no other choice but to go through withdrawal hell, but I got so comfortable at 43mg and if I think I should decrease further everything in my mind screams: NOOOOO!!

 

I will probably hold my dose for another year and then taper again, don´t know what else to do. It can only go to ways: up  or down and I don´t want to go up again so the only way will be down, it´s just discouraging nothing changed in 2 years..

 

Luca