PsychoticEgoist: willpower drained

[PsychoticEgoist]

Hello, I have suffered from severe OCD since I was a kid and I thought for a long time that I had been saved by clomipramine (150mg/day), as it essentially cured my ocd.

 

At first it seemed like a miracle, but over the last year I have felt that I have no willpower at all anymore.  Before I was on medication, I was always in battle with my OCD, I couldn't work and could barely function at home, I was always struggling in life, and because of that I had willpower, even if I couldn't work I had a will, I battled my demons and I felt alive.

Since then however I have been struggling to justify doing anything in life, and I have been driven insane by it, to the point where I would almost rather have OCD again than live like this any longer.  Some people, many people, probably would prefer a life of hedonism to a life of struggle, but for me it feels meaningless and I crave meaning more than anything... and for me enforcing my will onto others is my meaning.

What I want to ask others here, is if they have noticed their willpower being drained by antidepressants and if anything has helped increase their willpower.  Do steroids help? Meth/Adderall? Is there any way to live with antidepressants and recover willpower?  Is the only way to regain my willpower to quit my medication?

[ChessieCat]

Hi PsychoEgoist and welcome to SA,

 

SA is a site for tapering/withdrawal of psychiatric drugs.  If you are currently taking a psychiatric drug/s and would like assistance to get off it/them we can assist with that.

 

We need to know more about the drug/s you have taken in the past and are currently taking as well as any supplements.  Please create your drug signature following these instructions.  Please keep it simple; the drug signature needs to be a quick way for staff to see your drug history without readying through a lot of text or reading back through your posts to get the information.

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature

 

The way that many psychiatric drugs work is that they numb the emotions.

 

This topic has links to many helpful topics on SA:

 

Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ

 

SA is not able to provide assistance with regards to what other drug/s you might take.  If you want to add or change drug/s then you will need to see their medical professional about it and follow up with them.  We cannot help with that.

 

If you do decide to add or take a different drug I suggest that you do your own research BEFORE you start taking it to find out about possible side effects and drug interactions (if taking two or more drugs/supplements).  It might also be a good idea to ask your medical professional about how you would stop the drug if you decided to come off it at a later time.  It can take as little as 1 month for the brain to fully adapt to a psychiatric drug; once that happens you might experience withdrawal symptoms if you stop the drug too quickly.  See the above link.

 

This is your own Introduction topic which is the best place to ask questions specific to your own situation and journal your progress.  This will keep your history in one place and mean you won't need to repeat your story.