Forestpath: my introduction

[Forestpath]

Hi folks

 

After over a year of lurking (and being greatly helped by this wonderful site), here I am. So, hello!

 

I am doing well today, but this time last year was close to unbearable, and I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for this site. I had just come off sertraline after a 9 week stint, having being prescribed it for severe anxiety and ocd symptoms 12 weeks after my 3rd baby. At the time I started it I was in constant fight or flight, not sleeping whatsoever. I experienced pretty bad derealisation/depersonalisation after just a week or two of taking it and I was already very ambivalent about going on an SSRI as it was, so I decided I would taper off. I tapered over a few weeks and was led to believe by my psychiatrist that I did a very slow taper, when now I realise that it was way too fast for my nervous system to handle. At the peak of withdrawal I had extreme anxiety, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, relentless intrusive thoughts about harming myself or others. I was crying constantly until it got to the point where I couldn’t physically cry, which was terrifying. I could not eat. I could not function or look after my 3 kids. I had never experienced suicidal ideation until going on sertraline and going off it, so it started to dawn on me that maybe this was withdrawal. 

 

I decided to reinstate a medication in order to stabilise and because I was so frightened by my experience with sertraline I chose to try fluoxetine. Starting it was truly terrible as I’m sure you can imagine but by 6 weeks I had stabilised although left with significant ptsd symptoms, which were then treated successfully with EMDR therapy and also, a ton of yoga.

 

I am now a year on fluoxetine. I have no major side effects, I am stable and content but I do feel my memory is suffering a little but that could be the trauma of the last year too. I want to taper off but I am really not sure when to begin. My youngest is 1 and my sleep could still be better. I guess I am just so scared. Sometimes I feel confident that this time, it’ll be different, because I know more and have access to peer support, but I’m so wary of putting my family through this again. 
 

I know that figuring out when to initiate a taper is a very personal choice but what are the things to consider? 

thank you,

FP.

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm terribly sorry to hear about the hell that these drugs have put you through.  I'm very glad that you have consulted us before beginning this taper.   Are you currently on any other drugs or supplements? 

On 6/4/2022 at 3:08 PM, Forestpath said:

My youngest is 1 and my sleep could still be better.

This shows me that your nervous system may still have some healing to do from the fast taper of sertraline. That, or perhaps the fluoxetine itself is contributing to sleep issues.  SSRI drugs are activating, and can cause insomnia.  Do you still have any other of the withdrawal symptoms you had before?

 

On 6/4/2022 at 3:08 PM, Forestpath said:

I guess I am just so scared. Sometimes I feel confident that this time, it’ll be different, because I know more and have access to peer support, but I’m so wary of putting my family through this again. 

 

It's perfectly understandable that you would be scared.  But, this time will be different, and much better, if you taper by the protocols of this site, instead of according to your psychiatrist.  If I had a dollar for every person here who was taken off way too fast by a psychiatrist, I would be able to buy my own tropical island, and a yacht to go with it.  

 

This link will help you see if you are ready to taper yet.  

 

Before You Begin Tapering, What You Need to Know

 

If I were you, I would try an extremely slow, cautious micro taper.  This link will explain how to do that.  Read this, and let us know what you think: 

 

Brassmonkey Slide Method of Micro Tapering

 

 

Edited June 7, 2022 by getofflex

[Forestpath]

Hi getofflex,

 

Thanks so much for your reply.

On 6/7/2022 at 2:14 PM, getofflex said:

Are you currently on any other drugs or supplements? 

Do you still have any other of the withdrawal symptoms you had before?

If I were you, I would try an extremely slow, cautious micro taper.  This link will explain how to do that.  Read this, and let us know what you think: 

Brassmonkey Slide Method of Micro Tapering

I am not on any other drugs, I do take b12 every day in tablet form as I tend to be low on b12 when I get bloodwork done.  Sometimes I get a a course of b12 injections also.  I also take a vitamin D supplement.  I use a magnesium spray before bed.  I don't currently take fish oils but I do eat oily fish 2 x a week.

 

I don't think I have any of the withdrawal symptoms that I had before.  I still get anxious but not to the extent that I have fight or flight switched to maximum levels constantly.  I do have very vivid dreams and nightmares. But I've no DP/DR, and the OCD is very much humming away quietly in the background and not bothering me or interfering with my life.  I forgot to mention the feeling of terror/doom I had in withdrawal from sertraline.  That was awful! It's no longer here, too.

 

Thank you for the links! After reading them, my gut feeling is that I want to do the Brassmonkey Slide Method, but I think I will hold for a year at my current dose.  I am mainly not sleeping optimally because of the demands of my little kids, thankfully when I am let sleep, I can do so, even if the dreams and nightmares are there.  I think having the kids a year older will provide a more supportive environment for my taper.  

 

 

[getofflex]

10 hours ago, Forestpath said:

Thank you for the links! After reading them, my gut feeling is that I want to do the Brassmonkey Slide Method, but I think I will hold for a year at my current dose.

I think this is an excellent plan.  Your patience will serve you well when you get to your taper.  Please keep in touch.  

 

10 hours ago, Forestpath said:

I am mainly not sleeping optimally because of the demands of my little kids,

That certainly makes sense.  You will probably be sleeping better in a year, when they are older.