Soychunks: my journey with amitriptyline

[Soychunks]

Hello, 

 

My name is Phil, and it feels like I’ve been living in chaos for the last 2 and a half years. I’m not sure where to begin, and I apologize in advance if this sounds like a ramble (I’m currently withdrawing pretty heavily). 
 

Two and half years ago, I started feeling not myself. It started with dizziness, depersonalization, and false fevers. These sensations would come and go, but everything changed one night. I started developing some pretty serious GI issues. This, accompanied by Emitiphobia, has caused my life to spiral downwards. The first 6 months of this, I spent everyday in and out of ER’s, gastro specialists, GP’s, etc. I’ve gotten every test done under the sun. I was left with a “everything looks normal, get a handle on your anxiety”. 
 

I’ve tried 4 different psych meds. Celexa, Mirtazapine, Seroquel, and finally Amitriptyline. Not a single one of these drugs benefited me in anyway. Im currently still on Amitriptyline, but I’ve been attempting to ween myself off it for the last 3-4 months. I was originally on 25mg for about 8 months, and now I’m down to about a 3mg-4mg. The withdrawals I am currently going though are severe anxiety, debilitating GI issues, no appetite, suicidal thoughts, anger outbursts, deep depression, and sleep disturbances. 

I’ve been using a pill cutter to cut the 10mg pills in half, and through the last few months, I’ve been progressively taking the smaller half’s. Last night, I took a quarter of a half and I’m not sure if this is just my anxiety, but I’m kinda losing it at the moment. I do not want to admit myself, because I’ve done that twice in the past and it only makes things worse. I guess all I’m looking for is guidance. I had to leave my last therapist because he wasn’t helping me. Everyone always tells me “things will get better” or “this is only temporary”. The thing is, things aren’t getting better. And I feel like I’m losing myself. I don’t want to clock out early, but I’m becoming too tired to live a life of suffering day in and day out. Any words of encouragement would be immensely helpful. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Soychunks

 

It appears you have withdrawal symptoms from your amitriptyline taper. If I were you, I'd go back to 5mg, or 1/2 of a 10mg tablet to stabilize for a while, probably a month or more before starting a much more gradual taper. See Tips for tapering off amitriptyline

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.
 

If you still have gastro problems, you might want to go on an Elimination or exclusion diets for reactions to food (food intolerance) and see Histamine intolerance

 

Please let us know how you're doing.