RoseNettle: tapering Lexapro 10 months in

[RoseNettle]

Hi all, 

 

been tapering for 10 months, here's the breakdown:

Prozac 20mg 2012-2014
off for two years
Prozac 20mg 2016
Switched to Lexapro 10mg 2017 as Prozac wasn't available in the country I moved to

Oct 2021 – started tapering Lexapro – 10 mg to 5 mg
Dec 2021 – 5 mg to 2.5 mg
Jan 2022 – reinstated to 5 mg as I was feeling very uncomfortable
Feb 2022 – 4 mg liquid lexapro
March 2022 – 3.5 mg liquid lexapro
Current: HOLDING.

 

Have been holding current dose of 3.5 mg for almost 6 months with NO plans to lower at all for a while. Was recently hit a few days ago with a big anx attack. Think it's life stuff: job loss two months ago, father diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, and also trying to start a business the last few months. So it's a lot. Have been learning a lot about Nervous System regulation from Irene Lyon and somatic healing (healing through the body, releasing trauma/building capacity). I've still been feeling deep, deep feelings in the body of wild discomfort. SO I just wanted to reach out. 

 

My prayer is that I didn't taper too fast... I realize NOW that I did and didn't do the 10% taper SA recommends (I did NOT know about it at that time). But I've been holding 3.5mg for nearly 6 months and seems just now so much in my body has come to a head. A sort of explosion I guess

 

Would be very very grateful for any insight. Thank you!!

 

[Onmyway]

Hi @RoseNettle, 

welcome to SA. Thank you for creating your signature. It is very helpful to us and allows us to give you better advice. 

Given how much external stress you are under it makes sense that you are having all these symptoms. Especially since you have tried withdrawing which has unsettled your system and made you more sensitive to all these outside stressors. The thing to do right now is to keep holding and your body will settle with time. And when you stabilize you can start lowering by 10%. 

 

I am going to post a few links on non-drug techniques for managing symptoms. My favorite is the Claire Weekes method (look her up - there are books and videos of her method). 

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

This post will help you understand what is happening to you: 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

What is happening in your brain? - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

We also recommend magnesium and Omega-3 as many find them helpful. However, some people in WD may be have sensitized nervous systems and react negatively to all kinds of supplements including these, so start one at a time, at a low dose and stop if you have adverse effects. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

We also recommend that you avoid alcohol and any other psychoactive substances as these can make people feel worse in withdrawal. This includes things like St John's Wort, Sam-e, other supplements, even some vitamins like D and B. Of course if you are deficient in any of them you may need to take them but in that case don't take megadoses. 

 

It is important to remember that you will get better and that the anxiety you are feeling is normal given the external events and the sensitized nervous system from withdrawal. Time will bring your brain back to balance. Keep holding and be gentle with yourself. 

OMW

[RoseNettle]

Hello @Onmywaythank you so much for your kind reply and links. 
 

so you don’t think I have tapered too much and screwed myself, right? I was truly feeling good and functional up until last week, despite what I’ll outline below. Still feeling so buzzy and off-kilter. I understand now it’s part of the process 

 

I am also so intolerant to the heat. I’m in south Florida and it’s a bit surreal how I can’t even stand to walk to the car. I grew up here, I know it’s hot, but it’s unbearable.
 

Exercise the last few months has also been intolerable. Elevating my heart through things like Pilates and a dance class was even too much and I caught myself in a mild anxiety attack. It feels discouraging. And due to the heat outside I can’t walk much either. So I walk in place in the house and hope it’s enough for now. 
 

Have you experienced anything like that? 
 

thank you!

[RoseNettle]

Hi again everyone.  @getofflexI saw you tapered off lexapro I am very Inspired by you. I am just going through it now, I don’t know if I should go back up to 5 mg or something… 3.5 was fine for a while but I’m just going through it hard now based on life circumstances and it’s really hard. I need to be able to function better in order to work, leave the house, etc. Anyway please help if possible 

[getofflex]

38 minutes ago, RoseNettle said:

I am just going through it now, I don’t know if I should go back up to 5 mg or something… 3.5 was fine for a while but I’m just going through it hard now based on life circumstances and it’s really hard.

Increasing the dose of your drug is not necessarily the answer to difficulties.  Can you please elaborate on what you mean by "going through it hard"?  What symptoms are you having?  Are you aware of the windows and waves pattern of recovery?  You may just be in a wave, which is not a reason to updose.  Please read the link on windows and waves that On My Way gave you.  

 

Have you used alcohol or other mind altering substances, interrupted your normal routine, had a sudden weather change, extra stress, changed your eating patterns, done intense exercise, or anything else unusual?  You allude to difficult life circumstances - the stress from this improbably exacerbating your symptoms.  I suggest trying to reduce the stress of this if you can, and learn non drug coping techniques for dealing with the stress, and the WD symptoms.  I would also stay away from the pilates and intense exercise, and instead do gentle walks outside, early in the day or in the evening to avoid the heat.  

 

Just keep on holding, for as long as you need to.  I had a 9 month hold period, and a 5 month hold period, and they both really helped me.  Some people even hold for a year or two just to give their systems a break and allow the brain to heal and catch up and rest. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 4, 2022 by getofflex

[RoseNettle]

@getofflexthank you for your reply. I have checked the links, I’m grateful for them. 
 

I do believe I’m in a wave. It’s just starting to feel pretty bad

 

i started 3.5 mg (down from 4 mg) in march 2022. I noticed as time went on little things would crop up like: 

Not being able to catch my breath on a walk (not medical, but anxious — like I had to gasp for air) and hyper sensitivity around smells, heat, etc. just could not handle it. 
 

but now symptoms are:

-deep tension in abdomen 

-feeling like I’m gasping for air or can’t get a deep breath 

-anxious over the breathing 

-Extreme heat. Home air is on 69F but feel like I’m boiling. Once that passes I shiver and shake and have to wrap with a blanket 

-fear of being home alone but also driving and going out 

-when my husband isn’t here and I’m alone I feel like I’m spiraling more 

-so so tired but can’t don’t want to  nap during  the day 

-am normally a very good sleeper but haven’t been sleeping well. Waking up earlier than I ever have, not feeling rested 

-I stay up late to wait for my husband who gets home from work late (sometimes 1 am) 

 

I do not drink at all, never been into it. I take magnesium and that’s it’s. No smoking at all. 

 

I haven’t been able to walk outside the house at all, even in the morning or night, it’s still too hot for me which sucks a lot. 

[RoseNettle]

In reading many other’s posts on reinstatement of a previous dose what I understand is that it’s mostly best when it’s done very soon after. That makes sense.
 

it’s funny, when I got to 3.5, every fiber of being said hold. Do not keep tapering. I am extremely grateful for that intuition, God, etc.

 

Being 6 months into this current dose, I truly did not think I’d start to reel or feel such a flush in my system. I really do think the life events (losing job, dad got cancer, husband is Ukrainian and his country is at war, trying to start a business, extreme EXTREME humidity and heat/hot flashes in FL, etc) have just taken a toll. 
 

I know we all go through this, it seems it’s part of healing and our nervous system trying to regain balance. 
 

I just want to feel safe in my body. That’s my prayer. 
 

I don’t know if going to 3.6 would help, I absolutely do not want to make anything worse. So, I don’t know. Thank you for reading and helping me it means so much. 

[getofflex]

52 minutes ago, RoseNettle said:

 

I don’t know if going to 3.6 would help, I

No please do not up your dose. These drugs are what got us into this trouble in the first place and they are not gonna fix us now.  I don’t believe an updose would do anything to help you after being on 3.5 mg for six months. It sounds like you’re having issues with anxiety. Please do a site search on anxiety and you will find some techniques of how to cope with it. There’s instructions on how to do a site search in the read this first forum or else in the intro forum. 
 

with all the stressors and changes going on your life I’m willing to bet that this is the cause of the wave that you are in. Learning non drug coping strategies will serve you very well in life now and in the future.

[Onmyway]

I second the suggestion to focus on non-drug coping techniques - many people find Claire Weekes esp. helpful.

 

I can't imagine how hard it must be going through all you're going through without withdrawal and added on top of a sensitized nervous system, easy to feel overwhelmed. This too shall pass, hang in there!

 

OMW 

[getofflex]

Here are some links with techniques for anxiety:

 

Emotional Spirals

 

Acknowledge Accept Float

 

Music to Calm Anxiety

 

Breathing Technique for Anxiety

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

 

15 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Female voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Male voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

Meditation

[RoseNettle]

@Onmywayi read your message and began to sob! Thank you. Sometimes we just need to feel heard… this is not easy. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed for a regulated nervous system let alone one that’s tapering. Thank you endlessly for your words. I will hold them dear. Just want to connect on that human level here, too ❤️

[RoseNettle]

thank you for the links getofflex! claire weekes method is very helpful. I was looking through your intro posts and your journey and I know you understand this ride! Glad to see how far you all have come. 

 

I am a regular reader of this blog and she posted somewhat recently about her love of her SSRI, Celexa. And I reread it recently and felt for a millisecond, "did I make the right choice?" even though this whole past year I was really happy to begin the taper. It felt right. I'm sure everyone's had that thought pass their mind during the hard times. I am grateful for my supportive friends and family and all of you here. 

 

Here's the blog post in question, if anyone cares to see. The comments are hundreds of women also loving their SSRIs. Oi!! https://cupofjo.com/2022/05/11/anti-anxiety-medication/#comments

[Onmyway]

9 minutes ago, RoseNettle said:

thank you for the links getofflex! claire weekes method is very helpful. I was looking through your intro posts and your journey and I know you understand this ride! Glad to see how far you all have come. 

 

I am a regular reader of this blog and she posted somewhat recently about her love of her SSRI, Celexa. And I reread it recently and felt for a millisecond, "did I make the right choice?" even though this whole past year I was really happy to begin the taper. It felt right. I'm sure everyone's had that thought pass their mind during the hard times. I am grateful for my supportive friends and family and all of you here. 

 

Here's the blog post in question, if anyone cares to see. The comments are hundreds of women also loving their SSRIs. Oi!! https://cupofjo.com/2022/05/11/anti-anxiety-medication/#comments

Hi @RoseNettle

I'm so glad that you found solace in my message. Sometimes in the midst of being strong we forget that we are human and need compassion.

 

Please pay no heed to the SSRI fan club. There is a good chunk of women (I can describe the demographic better but it's not important) who find meaning (and, subsequently, healing) in SSRIs. 

 

Many scientific studies by now show that SSRIs are no better than placebo in any clinically appreciable way. There are also studies that show that there is absolutely no evidence that people with mental health issues have a chemical imbalance in the brain that needs to be corrected. I can link a lot of that scientific literature if you wish. There is, however, evidence that SSRIs hurt with adverse effects and other long term consequences (possibly linked to dementia, heart issues for certain drugs, physical dependence that causes withdrawal.) You are absolutely doing the right thing by coming off of the drugs and removing this toxin from your brain. When people get through withdrawal, they feel better even though withdrawal itself can be difficult if not done slowly.

 

Let the fan club cackle and cheer each other. You're doing the right thing for your health in the long term. 

 

Remind me to link the journal articles when I'm at a computer.

 

OMW 

[RoseNettle]

Yes, totally agree with you @Onmyway

 

I’m willing to go as slow as humanly possible and take as long as I need to get off in order to minimize symptoms. 
 

I posted in a different thread about feeling really really hot, it’s been 8 months since anyone posted there so I thought I’d post it here too in case any of you mods have dealt with this…

 

 tapering Lexapro and the heat intolerance is really bad. I’m in south Florida and temperatures are currently 90-100F with 65% humidity. I think it’s unbearable for most people who aren’t from here. I grew up in FL and this is the first summer where I can’t walk outside more than 10 minutes without feeling faint or panicked. My face starts to prickle and tingle within a few minutes and that has never happened to me before this summer. 

 

I want to be outside, I want to exercise, I want to be in nature. I’m really disturbed by this. 
 

please let me know what can help or if YOU have gone through something similar and how it got better. 
 

I might just need some encouragement that this is temporary and will improve. Please let me know 🙏

[Onmyway]

3 hours ago, RoseNettle said:

Yes, totally agree with you @Onmyway

 

I’m willing to go as slow as humanly possible and take as long as I need to get off in order to minimize symptoms. 
 

I posted in a different thread about feeling really really hot, it’s been 8 months since anyone posted there so I thought I’d post it here too in case any of you mods have dealt with this…

 

 

 tapering Lexapro and the heat intolerance is really bad. I’m in south Florida and temperatures are currently 90-100F with 65% humidity. I think it’s unbearable for most people who aren’t from here. I grew up in FL and this is the first summer where I can’t walk outside more than 10 minutes without feeling faint or panicked. My face starts to prickle and tingle within a few minutes and that has never happened to me before this summer. 

 

I want to be outside, I want to exercise, I want to be in nature. I’m really disturbed by this. 
 

please let me know what can help or if YOU have gone through something similar and how it got better. 
 

I might just need some encouragement that this is temporary and will improve. Please let me know 🙏

Hi @RoseNettle

I haven't had this but I have had sound sensitivity to the point that regular TV noise would drive me crazy. At one point the sounds would feel so strong (cars, planes) that I thought was going mad. I measured them in decibels and they were in fact no stronger than a whisper but I could feel every small car noise under my window. I was lucky that it comes and goes away with me.

 

While yours is not the same it is of a similar class of issues - your nervous system is super sensitized. In terms of temperatures some people's body temperature changes drastically as well not just their sensitivity. It's all in the process of your nervous system bringing itself back to balance. 

 

If you haven't read it, look for the thread "What is happening in your brain?"  It will explain things on a neurological level. 

 

So yes, this is going to get better. How soon nobody knows. But until then try to exercise inside as much as you can, or do it early in the morning outside. It shouldn't be more than a few more weeks of this, right?

 

Hope you feel better soon.  

OMW 

[getofflex]

6 hours ago, RoseNettle said:

tapering Lexapro and the heat intolerance is really bad. I’m in south Florida and temperatures are currently 90-100F with 65% humidity. I think it’s unbearable for most people who aren’t from here. I grew up in FL and this is the first summer where I can’t walk outside more than 10 minutes without feeling faint or panicked. My face starts to prickle and tingle within a few minutes and that has never happened to me before this summer. 

 

I want to be outside, I want to exercise, I want to be in nature. I’m really disturbed by this. 
 

please let me know what can help or if YOU have gone through something similar and how it got better. 
 

I have to say, that I've had a lot of heat intolerance too while on the Lexapro, and also while tapering off of it.  I would get hot flashes, and there was a strong positive correlation between being in a wave, and getting lots more hot flashes.  My husband said he could feel heat radiating off of me when I had the hot flashes.  Now that I've been off the Lexapro for 2 months, my hot flashes have gone down considerably.  I believe that it will for you as well.  

 

 

 

 

[RoseNettle]

Thank you immensely for replying @getofflexand @Onmyway  It means so much to me. 
 

It’s good to know that this is part of the wave and that others have gone through this. It’s distressing because everyone says “go out in nature!” Which I 1000% agree is incredibly healing and important for us humans, on a daily basis. But then when one tries that and isn’t able to handle it due to heat it feels so sad. 
 

I’m thankful to know it’s part of the process. 
 

On another note, Today I went on a drive with my husband and I could hardly handle it. The sounds, the lights, the traffic (we live in a major city)… once we got to where we were going (the library) I thought I’d be enjoyable. But my goodness.
 

It was hard. The carpet had the most insane zigzag pattern that I could hardly stand to look at, I thought I might topple over. Climbing the stairs elevated my heart rate and that set off alarm bells in my body. My goodness!!! The librarian was so lovely and kind but her voice set me on edge I had to walk away as she spoke with my husband. 

And as we were leaving our car engine stalled out. I had to let the utter fear and panic wash over me, peak, and come down. We went home after that. my husband was very confused. He has been really supportive but I think eventually our partners get freaked out, right? I’m sure it’s odd on the outside. 
 

it saddens me of course. I know all of you have felt gutted from the effects of this. Not being able to leave home? To drive? To go to a library?? Where is the freedom? 
 

I miss the days where I would drive with the windows down, playing my favorite song, going to grab an iced coffee, not a care in the world. 
 

when will I be her again? 
 

Sending hugs and thank you again for being here. Your time and effort is not lost on me. 

[getofflex]

On 9/8/2022 at 6:28 PM, RoseNettle said:

it saddens me of course. I know all of you have felt gutted from the effects of this. Not being able to leave home? To drive? To go to a library?? Where is the freedom? 

I do understand, I really do.  You are naturally grieving the many losses that come with WD.  I'm slowly becoming more able to do more things, and you will, too.  This is only temporary.  

[Taperstruggles]

How are you doing @RoseNettle ? 

I'm in a similar situation as you tapering off Lexapro and holding for now, I' planning to hold at least a year from last taper, possibly more. I was doing perfect until this last taper,  now I'm struggling with horrible burning legs and feet and as I read your post I realised I also have the temperature dis-regulation. I have just figured it's my age, I'm slightly past 40 so I figured me not being able to tolerate the heat this past summer at all (first time ever) was related to hormonal changes on the horizon.
I was not experiencing any really bad side effects from the medications for all those years so I sometimes also like you wonder if I really made the right decision? why did I rock the boat? what if I never get rid of these horrible symptoms that I never had while on my meds? on the other hand, I would like to get off or at least onto as low a dose as I can manage long term. 

Hope you are doing ok. 

[RoseNettle]

hi @Taperstruggles

 

Thank you for your message. Truthfully, I am doing a lot better. The biggest thing that has helped me is learning about the nervous system and nervous system regulation. I've been doing this through the work of Irene Lyon. It's truly life-changing. I can link some videos if you are interested. 

 

https://irenelyon.com/healing-trauma-training-2022/?inf_contact_key=b9ea827ef68d2d140fcd4c04e2fb2802842e902fbefb79ab9abae13bfcb46658

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr2G_X22xXQ

 

Mainly, understanding WHY I got on these drugs in the first place. I personally no longer believe in diagnoses and labels or syndromes  (GAD, Bipolar, etc, etc) but rather how trauma (yes, trauma) CREATES these "syndromes" and intense sensations (or NO sensations) in the body. It's incredible. This mindset alone has set me free.

 

When I first was introduced to Irene's work of healing trauma in the nervous system a few months ago, I was like... "I'm not traumatized." But then I started contemplating WHY I had been on SSRIs off and on for 10 years. Trauma is NOT about an event. It's about the physiological sensations that got trapped in the body and were never able to express or integrate.

 

Some examples: Being bullied in primary school. Being left to cry in your crib night after night. A dad slapping a child across the face. Getting surgery at 5 years old, isolated from mom. Listening to parents fight about money. Getting into a bad car accident. A manipulative "friend." Moving away to a new country. Trauma can be anything... chronic stress, shock (accidents, etc), surgical/medical, pre-verbal, war, abuse, violence, physical, emotional, etc. But the funny thing is, we don't even have to talk about it, remember it, etc. We just have to BE with the horrible sensations (in a titrated, pendulated way) in order to release it. 

 

Anyway... learning about this has been a Godsend for me... I pray everyone finds something of value in this work. It's the only way I personally will be able to get off the meds for good... to heal myself, at the ROOT... for good. 

 

Much love to you, 

 

RN

[RoseNettle]

On 9/11/2022 at 8:09 AM, getofflex said:

I do understand, I really do.  You are naturally grieving the many losses that come with WD.  I'm slowly becoming more able to do more things, and you will, too.  This is only temporary.  

Thanks I meant to ask you a while ago, what was your full taper schedule? I see in your signature you went from 10 mg in 2002 to 0.18 mg in 2020? I'm curious how long your true taper was and how you tapered (%, increments, etc). x

[RoseNettle]

On 10/5/2022 at 3:54 PM, Taperstruggles said:

  now I'm struggling with horrible burning legs and feet and as I read your post I realised I also have the temperature dis-regulation. I

 

Also, I hear you on the heat and temp dysregulation. It sucks! I'm feeling a bit better with that as well. The nervous system practices help with it as well as keeping cool in A/C, staying hydrated with minerals, and wearing loose clothing. SOmetimes I will get waves of heat flutter through my body – I believe it's the autonomic nervous system doing her thing. I think our bodies will regulate it better in time. ❤️ 

[getofflex]

My signature was so long, I had to truncate my taper schedule.  Before I found SA, I was doing the typical too fast taper the docs recommend. I Started this in August 2017.  I was off my November of 2017, but then reinstated on my own to 5 mg and held on this for 9 months.  I stabilized nicely on this, then tapered again, too fast.  By March 2019, I found SA, and was at about 0.6 mg.  I updated to about 0.8, then after a few weeks, went to 0.7, then a few weeks later to 0.6, etc, which was still too fast.  I finally started to really slow down my taper by about 2020, and spent 2 years going from 0.2 mg down to zero.  One of the best things I did was a 5 month hold during 2020, from about April to September.  After that, my symptoms really settled down, and I was listening to my body to determine when to do my next reduction.  I was 10% or less, and holding for an average of 4 to 8 week with each dose change.  

[RoseNettle]

On 10/9/2022 at 7:04 PM, getofflex said:

I finally started to really slow down my taper by about 2020, and spent 2 years going from 0.2 mg down to zero. 

Wow, that’s amazing. Thank you for sharing that with me. Two years to taper 1/4 of a milligram — It’s truly incredible that we all go into this not knowing. Truly mind blowing. I’m so glad you got off and did it well. I’m really inspired by that. 
 

how did you get it so small? Liquid I assume. I’m on liquid as well. I have the larger syringe, when I get to those very small increments as you were I will need the tinier syringe. Thank you again for all your replies and help 

[getofflex]

1 hour ago, RoseNettle said:

how did you get it so small? Liquid I assume. I’m on liquid as well. I have the larger syringe, when I get to those very small increments as you were I will need the tinier syringe. Thank you again for all your replies and help 

At the end, I used the small 1 ml syringe with increments of 0.01 ml.  At the very end I diluted the liquid Lexapro with distilled water.  I'm glad I took 2 years to get off that last bit, because my nervous system was destabilized by a couple of fast taper attempts, before I found this forum. 

[Mutfael]

On 9/8/2022 at 11:33 PM, Onmyway said:

Hi @RoseNettle

I haven't had this but I have had sound sensitivity to the point that regular TV noise would drive me crazy. At one point the sounds would feel so strong (cars, planes) that I thought was going mad. I measured them in decibels and they were in fact no stronger than a whisper but I could feel every small car noise under my window. I was lucky that it comes and goes away with me.

 

While yours is not the same it is of a similar class of issues - your nervous system is super sensitized. In terms of temperatures some people's body temperature changes drastically as well not just their sensitivity. It's all in the process of your nervous system bringing itself back to balance. 

 

If you haven't read it, look for the thread "What is happening in your brain?"  It will explain things on a neurological level. 

 

So yes, this is going to get better. How soon nobody knows. But until then try to exercise inside as much as you can, or do it early in the morning outside. It shouldn't be more than a few more weeks of this, right?

 

Hope you feel better soon.  

OMW 

Exactly this is how I feel.. I get jittery and angry at the whispers of my children or the sound of the TV.. I've never been like this.. I also feel very hot because we have a temperature of 130 degrees Fahrenheit. I never hated summer in my life as I hated it this year!  Now the weather is starting to get cold and the car air conditioner still hasn't turned off

[Mutfael]

On 9/9/2022 at 2:28 AM, RoseNettle said:

Thank you immensely for replying @getofflexand @Onmyway  It means so much to me. 
 

It’s good to know that this is part of the wave and that others have gone through this. It’s distressing because everyone says “go out in nature!” Which I 1000% agree is incredibly healing and important for us humans, on a daily basis. But then when one tries that and isn’t able to handle it due to heat it feels so sad. 
 

I’m thankful to know it’s part of the process. 
 

On another note, Today I went on a drive with my husband and I could hardly handle it. The sounds, the lights, the traffic (we live in a major city)… once we got to where we were going (the library) I thought I’d be enjoyable. But my goodness.
 

It was hard. The carpet had the most insane zigzag pattern that I could hardly stand to look at, I thought I might topple over. Climbing the stairs elevated my heart rate and that set off alarm bells in my body. My goodness!!! The librarian was so lovely and kind but her voice set me on edge I had to walk away as she spoke with my husband. 

And as we were leaving our car engine stalled out. I had to let the utter fear and panic wash over me, peak, and come down. We went home after that. my husband was very confused. He has been really supportive but I think eventually our partners get freaked out, right? I’m sure it’s odd on the outside. 
 

it saddens me of course. I know all of you have felt gutted from the effects of this. Not being able to leave home? To drive? To go to a library?? Where is the freedom? 
 

I miss the days where I would drive with the windows down, playing my favorite song, going to grab an iced coffee, not a care in the world. 
 

when will I be her again? 
 

Sending hugs and thank you again for being here. Your time and effort is not lost on me. 

I have read many stories in this forum and their symptoms are close to mine and they may have symptoms that I do not have and sometimes symptoms that I have that they do not have... But in your story I think that our nervous systems are very close or similar, as all your symptoms are exactly mine!  It is really amazing, Glory be to the Creator

[RoseNettle]

@Mutfaelyes, we are not alone!! ❤️

[RoseNettle]

Hi all. It's been a bit over a year since I posted and I hope you all are on the mend and feeling healthy and hopeful.

 

I've been holding my 3.15 taper of liquid lexapro for 8 months. In the last 6 months alone I've moved twice, started two new jobs, got divorced, and moved in with family (!). Needless to say, it's been a lot... but I feel grateful I've been healthily able to navigate it (slowly) and within my capacity. 

 

That said, I want to continue my taper, but I'm truthfully a bit scared. The summer of 2022 decimated my nervous system... I couldn't believe the symptoms I was having from this taper. Now that I'm not married, I don't have the luxury of a dual income, so I want to be careful in how I proceed. I also plan to move again in April, this time to a different state and away from my family for a new work opportunity with ample access to nature (I currently live in a city).

 

I feel I have the capacity to do it now in my current state, but even that's probably stretching it a bit. 

 

SO... Would anyone be so kind as to share what they might do if they were me regarding tapering? Maybe a 2% taper or 5% taper once every month or 6 weeks? Or just hold until I move again and stabilize in the new area/job?

 

I've said it before, but I don't mind being on the medication "longer" if it enables me to have a stable life. I need to be stable to support myself and regulate my system. But I do also want to have a child in the next 4––6 years so I don't want the taper to take that long... 

 

I've been tapering since Oct 2021, so it's already been 2 years and 3 months. And at 3mgs, I feel like I have a long way to go which sometimes feels discouraging and mildly scary. 

 

Anyway, just looking for some insight/encouragement if you have any to spare. 

 

Happy New Year, 

 

RN 

[Onmyway]

@RoseNettle, wow that's a lot of stressful events even for people without withdrawal.  I'm amazed at what you have managed to accomplish!

 

It will have to be your decision what to do depending on your current symptoms.  If you're still symptomatic, I'd wait until May/June. If you're feeling better, you may try a  5% or less drop and see how it feels. 

 

What are your symptoms?

Omw

 

[RoseNettle]

Thank you. I think I will wait until late spring summer. 
 

do you guys following a taper schedule? Like a spread sheet? Or do you go based on how you feel and when you’re ready to taper?

[Onmyway]

I go based on how I feel. I can't follow the schedule - my rate of drop is much lower than I would like and I haven't made a cut in over 5 months now after an unfortunate 20% cut [due to a mistake I didn't realize on time] and with the amount of stress I have in my life, I simply can't afford to be further destabilized similar to you. 

 

The body is an amazing thing - things will get better. One of my favorite posts linked below on the amazing ways in which the brain heals. 

 

OMW

 

 

[RoseNettle]

Thank you. I completely agree. I just feel discouraged that it might take me many more years to get off this thing. How do you deal with those moments where you feel down about that? (I do also feel grateful simultaneously to know to go slow in the first place!)

[littlebird]

20 minutes ago, RoseNettle said:

How do you deal with those moments where you feel down about that?

Helps me to remember how much time flies, and how each day adds up. While small changes may not feel like much, they surely do add up to big things with enough patience. That said, I also let myself throw an occasional private tantrum about med feelings and how long this takes to do safely. Gotta let the feelings out, right? 😅

[Onmyway]

31 minutes ago, RoseNettle said:

Thank you. I completely agree. I just feel discouraged that it might take me many more years to get off this thing. How do you deal with those moments where you feel down about that? (I do also feel grateful simultaneously to know to go slow in the first place!)

To be honest, I don't have strong feelings of resentment about being on the drug. I don't have serious side effects right now (for which I am grateful) and know that hurrying is much more harmful than going slow right now. It is a drag to have to measure things and remember to take the liquid everywhere you go but other than that I don't think about it much. 

My goal is to be as stable as possible. 

[LukeUK]

I would recommend not dropping the dose if you feel as though the move is pushing you, and you'll be starting a new job etc. especially as you currently have minimal side effects.

 

When the time comes to make a drop, why not try a smaller drop than you have done in the past. If you can tolerate small drops, you may be able to make one every so often once you're sure you've stabilised. This might get you off the drug faster than making larger drops but then having to hold for 6 months/a year etc. because a larger drop has destabilised you.

 

If this advice is a bit off then apologies- I haven't been able to pick out the sizes of reductions you've been making and what symptoms they caused.