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Christian stories of AD withdrawals


Mogiebear

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Hi,

 

I'm just reaching out to see if there's any other Christians out there who wana share their antidepressant intoxication / withdrawal stories current or past.. 

 

My induced anhedonia gives me no motivation to do anything including my devotions.. feel bad about it but don't at  same time  because I know it's not my fault but the drugs..

 

My life is psalms 88.. 

 

What am I meant to do

Escitalopram:10mg 2010 - 2014 switched to - Fluvoxamine:300mg 2014-2021 many attempts at tapering, finally off Olanzapine:5mg June 2020

2.5mg, 2mg, 1.5mg, 1mg, .75mg, .5mg, .25mg, 0mg June 2021 Clomipramine 75mg 2020 Dec 50mg 2021 mar37.5mg 2022 june 25mg 2022 Aug 18mg 2022 oct15mg 2022 nov 12.5mg 2023 Jan

9mg 2023 Feb 7.5mg 2023 mar

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • 5 months later...

Christian here- I don't think I've ever struggled so much with my faith as this year going cold turkey off citilopram.  I keep thinking of the passage from John 6 where Jesus says some hard things and many left--"After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,"
John 6:66‭-‬68 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/jhn.6.66-68.ESV

 

I feel similar --where am I going to go? There is no other hope for me a part from Christ 

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On 3/31/2023 at 8:20 PM, eleana said:

Christian here- I don't think I've ever struggled so much with my faith as this year going cold turkey off citilopram.  I keep thinking of the passage from John 6 where Jesus says some hard things and many left--"After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,"
John 6:66‭-‬68 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/jhn.6.66-68.ESV

 

I feel similar --where am I going to go? There is no other hope for me a part from Christ 

I’ve been a believer for 12 years.  I’ve never struggled in my faith so much.  I lost my dad to Cancer almost 8 years ago, my husband of 22 years left me for another woman over 5 years ago and yet I made it through with determination and my faith in God.  But I feel very abandoned right now.  Where is God when the suicidal thoughts are taking over almost daily.  Where is He when I’m crying out to Him, when I’m on my knees begging for  His help.  Am I being punished? 

Zoloft/Sertraline 100 mg 5/22-10/1/22

Citalopram 40mg 6/18-5/22

zoloft/Sertraline 200 mg 5/02-6/18

I began Zoloft @50 mg in May of 2002, and dosed up to 200mg.  I honestly don’t remember exact dates.  

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I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I went through a difficult divorce years ago. But that was nothing compared to getting off antidepressants. This song encourages me in my faith when I'm down. You may have heard it before 

this passage encouraged me today from psalm 103

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

I'm praying you sense His presence, help and healing.

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Eleana, I'm gon g through a divorce right now, I agree this is nothing compared to getting off antidepressants.. not even a drop in a bucket comparison.. people got no idea how bad it is.

 

 

Escitalopram:10mg 2010 - 2014 switched to - Fluvoxamine:300mg 2014-2021 many attempts at tapering, finally off Olanzapine:5mg June 2020

2.5mg, 2mg, 1.5mg, 1mg, .75mg, .5mg, .25mg, 0mg June 2021 Clomipramine 75mg 2020 Dec 50mg 2021 mar37.5mg 2022 june 25mg 2022 Aug 18mg 2022 oct15mg 2022 nov 12.5mg 2023 Jan

9mg 2023 Feb 7.5mg 2023 mar

 

 

 

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  • 1 year later...

Anyone experience this? Not just healing, but a restoration of the years lost, lost time, lost relationships, etc?

IMG_3430.jpeg

May 2019 started lexapro 2.5 mg; 2020 went to every other day; 2021 beginning of Mar, tried to stop but had insomnia; Mar 30, 2021 reinstated 1.25 ev other day, WD symptoms, not enough

April 19, 2021 started liquid, .85 mg/day; May 1, 2021 .8 mg, May 6 .75 mg; June 6 .7 mg, June 20 .65mg, June 30  .6mg, Jul 24 .55 mg, Oct 17 .5 mg, Dec 5- .45 mg; Jan 26, 2022- 4mg,  April 18- .375 ; April 24- .35; April 29- .3; Jun 12- .25 mg; Jun 28- .2 lex; Sept- .15 mg, Nov .1- long hold, never got better

June ‘23- PPPD started 🙁, Jun- .09, Jul- .08, Oct- .07, Dec- .06, Jan ‘24- .05!

Taking Magnesium, whole foods iron, & natural supplements as needed for sleep

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By no means do I want to discourage someone.

 

But even the antidepressants, I was a man of much, a lot of faith.

 

After all I went through (and I've been going through), on some occasions I was sure to have been abandoned by God.

 

It is difficult for me to understand how Jesus - after desperate supplications - allow your child to go through what I went through.

 

I often say that I ordered a bread and got a stone. I ordered a fish and got a snake.


I hope one day my faith is restored. I want to love God again and especially not to be afraid of Him.

2010 - 2017 20mg Lexapro
2017 - 2023 60mg Cymbalta
july 2023 90 mg Cymbalta

august - november 2023 - 150mg Pristiq  + 0,25 Rexulti + 0,25 xanax SOS
dezember 2023 -  january 2024 - 20mg Lexapro + 0,5 Rexulti + 0,25 xanax SOS

february 2024 - 20 mg Lexapro + 50 mg Luvox + 0,25 xanax 3 times a day

march 2024 - 600mg Lithium + 25 mg Amitriptyline  + 25mg Luvox

03/15/2024 - 600mg Lithium + 25 mg Amitriptyline + 12,5mg  Luvox

03/25/2024 - 600mg Lithium + 12,5 mg Amitriptyline + 12,5 mg Luvox 

04/03/2024 -  600 mg Lithium + 12,5 mg amitriptyline + 0 Luvox

04/09/2024 - 600 mg Lithium + 10 mg amitriptyline + 0 Luvox

04/12/2024 - Onset of withdrawal symptoms: anxiety, dread upon waking, depression. I will try to reduce Amitriptyline to 8.33 mg only after stabilizing at this dose.

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God has not abandoned you. 
 

You couldn’t discourage me by your words or how you feel about God. I trust in HIM. I love HIM. He is not the reason I’m suffering. He is the reason I get through each and every day of WD. 
 

I will be praying for you and everyone else going through WD. 

 

✝️🙏🏻
 

PREVIOUS

2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose),

2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone  Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg

2022 January  Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November.

supplements  2023  Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR

January 2023added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day)

CURRENT

1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 

1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am

1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am

1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm

6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg

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@Warpman I understand your feelings. I'm praying. 

 

  • 1996 Effexor XR
  • 1996-2012  Prozac and Klonipin
  • 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 
  • 2012 Paxil 40mg
  • 2012 Xanax XR 6mg
  • 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012)
  • 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg)
  • May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD)
  • December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg
  • Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?)
  • November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were  splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time.
  • November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia
  • Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. 
  • Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar.  Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. 
  • Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating.  I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal.  
  • March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially)
  • Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. 

 

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14 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

I will be praying for you and everyone else going through WD. 

 

✝️🙏🏻
 

Thank you for praying today @Ninabird. It's really really bad today. Excruciating akathisia. 

 

  • 1996 Effexor XR
  • 1996-2012  Prozac and Klonipin
  • 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 
  • 2012 Paxil 40mg
  • 2012 Xanax XR 6mg
  • 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012)
  • 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg)
  • May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD)
  • December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg
  • Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?)
  • November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were  splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time.
  • November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia
  • Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. 
  • Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar.  Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. 
  • Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating.  I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal.  
  • March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially)
  • Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. 

 

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25 minutes ago, Bailey said:

Thank you for praying today @Ninabird. It's really really bad today. Excruciating akathisia. 

I just prayed for you. 

PREVIOUS

2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose),

2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone  Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg

2022 January  Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November.

supplements  2023  Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR

January 2023added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day)

CURRENT

1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 

1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am

1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am

1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm

6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg

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3 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

I just prayed for you. 

I really really appreciate it @Ninabird. Thank you.

 

  • 1996 Effexor XR
  • 1996-2012  Prozac and Klonipin
  • 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 
  • 2012 Paxil 40mg
  • 2012 Xanax XR 6mg
  • 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012)
  • 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg)
  • May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD)
  • December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg
  • Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?)
  • November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were  splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time.
  • November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia
  • Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. 
  • Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar.  Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. 
  • Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating.  I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal.  
  • March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially)
  • Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. 

 

Link to comment
20 minutes ago, Bailey said:

I really really appreciate it @Ninabird. Thank you.

I’m here if you ever need to talk.🥰

PREVIOUS

2018 Ativan 1mg Oct-Jan (CT), 2019 Effexor 75mg, Klonopin .25mg, Trazadone 75mg, Bridge to Prozac (?dose), 2020 Taper off all, 2021 Zoloft (?dose), Jan-May (CT @ Hospital), Remeron (?dose) Trazadone 75mg, Propanolol (?dose), Klonopin .50mg, Buspar (?dose),

2021 Prozac (?dose), Trazadone 75mg, Klonopin 2 times a day, 2021 August fast taper Trazadone  Prozac fast taper in August. August Lexapro 10mg

2022 January  Lexapro to 25mg, February FT to 10mg Lexapro over 6 weeks, Klonopin .25mg 2 times a day, May Effexor 35mg, June bridge from Effexor to 30mg Cymbalta. Held on Lexapro until November.

supplements  2023  Jan Probiotics stopped taking after two weeks ADR April 1k Iu Vitamin D W/ K stopped after a few days ADR. March 50mg Mag glycinate stopped after a week ADR

January 2023added an additional .25 mg Klonopin (.25 mg three times a day)

CURRENT

1/23-Present Klonopin .75mg divided into .25mg 3 times a day. 6:30am, 12:00pm, 6:30pm 

1/23Present Lexapro .101 mgpw - 8.08 mgai 8:00am

1/23-Present Estradiol .50mg 8:00am

1/23-Present 30mg Cymbalta 12:30pm

6/23 to present Holding no changes 7/4 reduced Lexapro to 7.92mg 7/31 7.84mg 8/7 7.76mg 7/14 7.60mg 10/1 7.44mg 10/28 7.36mg 2/1 7.12mg 2/14 7.04mg 3/5/24 6.88mg 3/12 6.80mg

Link to comment
2 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

I’m here if you ever need to talk.🥰

@Ninabird Thank you so much ❤️

 

  • 1996 Effexor XR
  • 1996-2012  Prozac and Klonipin
  • 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 
  • 2012 Paxil 40mg
  • 2012 Xanax XR 6mg
  • 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012)
  • 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg)
  • May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD)
  • December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg
  • Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?)
  • November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were  splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time.
  • November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia
  • Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. 
  • Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar.  Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. 
  • Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating.  I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal.  
  • March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially)
  • Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. 

 

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