Evolving symptoms

[Chemistry]

Hey guys, 

 

Just wondering how normal it is to have 1 or more symptoms progressively get worse and worse as time goes on... It seems the further i am away from my last dose (20 months) the more severe some of my symptoms get. 

 

The biggest thing for me is some of the sexual symptoms, the emotional anesthesia, the cognitive problems, and the visual symptoms. They all seem to be increasing, becoming more severe, as time goes on. 

 

Now this doesn't necessarily mean that these symptoms dont fluctuate at all for me... Think of it this way, the "typical" progression of withdrawal is something along the lines of "2 steps forward, 1 step back", except in a more complicated and unpredictable manner. Now, for me its more like "2 steps back, 1 step forward". Or at least it feels that way. 

 

When i came off zoloft (too quickly might i add), the initial withdrawal consisted of the usual stuff, brain zaps, stress, abdominal pain, tension, fatigue, headaches, etc... After that phase which lasted about 2-3 weeks, i basically never fully returned to normal and then i just slowly spiraled down hill. Yes i've had tiny "windows" or i'd prefer calling them  "glimmers of hope" where 1 symptom or more would 'seem' better for a while, or i'd have those relaxing evenings where i can at least somewhat enjoy whatever i'm doing, but the general trend of my symptoms have been negative progression, its like i'm going in the wrong direction. Especially in the past 6 months. (new symptoms appearing, worsening, etc). 

 

I understand in withdrawal things get better, worse, etc its all over the place! but for me, its way more on the 'worse' side than the 'better' side. I dont think i've had any considerable improvements so far, like i dont think i've ever felt this bad so far and i rarely find anything gets better. Genital numbness and low libido (two symptoms i never had initially) are starting to really settle in and its  really scaring me. 

 

I guess the main question is, despite this worsening these past 6-12 months, can/will the PSSD, emotional anesthesia, agitation/stress, etc get better? These are the issues i'm mainly worried about. 

[NoMeaning25]

I have the same exact problem. My symptoms are getting worse instead of better. I also have a symptom or two that gets tiny bit better sometimes, but its not a bothersome symptom so it hasn't really affected me.

 

I would be interested to see if anyone else had this who are now recovered, or if someone has any suggestions.

[Altostrata]

The symptoms tend to get better, but it can take a very long time.

 

In the meantime, have you reduced light stimulation for the eye symptoms? Or have you tried to lessen other symptoms -- see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/604-important-topics-about-symptoms-including-sleep-problems/

 

As you know, if you manage to reduce even one symptom slightly, it can make you feel better.

[Chemistry]

Alto, my visual symptoms seem to be unrelated to my eyes. I got them checked and everything is fine, its a CNS problem like most other withdrawal symptoms. 

 

My sleep isn't the best. I do get at least 7-8 hours a night, but i feel very tense, physically anxious, bloated , etc in the morning and i do not feel rested. I think i just need to try and sleep earlier. 

 

Have you seen cases like this Alto where people got worse  and worse but still got better? you say they tend to get better, is there any worry that they will not?

 

Thank you,

[Altostrata]

Correct, the light sensitivity is a CNS problem. You can relieve the hypersensitive reaction with a few simple changes in habits.

 

You need to work with your nervous system to help it heal. Please try this.

 

Improvement can be very intermittent with lots of setbacks -- and very frustrating. Sounds like you're experiencing this. Only you can take care of you in this recovery.

[LetsGoBuffalo]

I realize that everyone’s circumstances are different based on what drug(s), time taken, etc…

 

Has anyone noticed evolving symptoms? For instance, my physical symptoms have been gone for about a month (~3 months off meds), but the anxiety, panic attacks, and guilt from giving up a “stabilized” life have been FIERCE since those subsided. Full disclosure, I also made the grave mistake of testing my stress limit wayyyy to quickly by going to a very loud and chaotic hockey game. 
 

Just curious how everyone else’s symptoms have fluctuated through this hellish journey we’re all on. 

[StayHopeful]

Hi LetsGoBuffalo!

 

4 hours ago, LetsGoBuffalo said:

Just curious how everyone else’s symptoms have fluctuated through this hellish journey we’re all on. 

From all that I've read on this site, it happens to everyone going through this hell...  It's so weird, the healing process. The moment one symptom subsides, another takes its place. What you could tolerate before, even while tapering, changes. Then when you've gone without a symptom for months, it crops back up again. I also, had a ton of side effects over the years, after I started taking and during the use of AD's, that I never had before. They mimicked autoimmune disease and other maladies, and of course, all specialized tests came back negative. All but neuropathy, have disappeared during tapering so far. The neuropathy has come back and continues off and on. However, many symptoms have been added and are changing all the time. I walk on eggshells hoping not to trigger anything new. The worst part for me, is that I can't control any of it. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do preemptively to keep a symptom from happening, just dealing with it after it starts. I do things that I think help, but what works one day, doesn't the next. I just keep trying. It's one surprise after another.

 

Don't feel bad about "Testing" your stress limits. At least you tried ☺️. I get so sick of the anxiety, that I force myself to do things that I used to enjoy. Sometimes, it proves to be just what I needed and others... not so much. How can we tell if we're getting better, if we don't try? I can't just give up on life because of all this.

 

I can relate to the feeling of missing stabilization. I started my taper over 11 months ago and have been off all meds completely for almost 5 months. I can't quantify my experience for comparisons. So, I don't know where I truly am in the spectrum of healing. I mostly feel ok - being what I consider that to be now. I've become very sensitive emotionally though and have to be cognizant of those around me and to not take it out on them. I'd love to be able to say, that all symptoms start subsiding, continuing to get better until gone; and that when they go, they don't come back. That's not been my experience so far, but I have hope that eventually it will be.

 

SH

[Moe96]

Hello @StayHopeful 

 

I’m similar to you with having to tiptoe around my body in order not to trigger new symptoms, but some stuff is out of my control and i keep getting new symptoms every couple of months no matter what. I can feel some of my older symptoms resolving but as you said when that happens, it feels like new symptoms take place.

 

Some of the new symptoms are just a worsening of already existing symptoms they feel like a crash or a setback but not like i go back to the beginning, it’s just my baseline becomes much lowered than before. (Like ability to exercise, fatigue, sexual dysfunction). Is that really common? I’m not sure if something else might be going on, doctors can’t find anything.

 

are you still getting new symptoms?

How long do new symptoms usually last for you, if i may ask? 

 

[StayHopeful]

Hi @Moe96!

 

I haven't gotten new symptoms lately (within the last 6 months), but the old ones do crop up from time to time. They are getting better though, a lot better due to the duration they last and intensity that I feel them. 

 

17 hours ago, Moe96 said:

I can feel some of my older symptoms resolving but as you said when that happens, it feels like new symptoms take place.

As soon as one symptom goes away, another starts. Eventually, you'll start to notice that it happens less and less. It's different time frames for everyone, of course, but if you're keeping track in a journal, you'll be able to see the change over time.

 

17 hours ago, Moe96 said:

Some of the new symptoms are just a worsening of already existing symptoms they feel like a crash or a setback but not like i go back to the beginning, it’s just my baseline becomes much lowered than before. (Like ability to exercise, fatigue, sexual dysfunction). Is that really common? I’m not sure if something else might be going on, doctors can’t find anything.

Yes, it's really common. Don't let it discourage you though and try not to look at it as a setback. Healing through this isn't straight forward, it takes time and different areas of your brain and body tend to heal on their own schedule. So, what may seem like a setback, may actually be a step forward - with a different area being able to start its healing process.

 

I saw many doctors and specialists while on the medications too and they didn't find a cause for my symptoms either. It was extremely frustrating! The good thing:  if your doctors can't find anything physically wrong through testing, that means that you probably don't have another medical issue going on and can most likely contribute it to withdrawal. That in itself might ease your mind and worries.

 

Keep hanging in there, though it really stinks while the symptoms are happening, over time things will start to get noticeably better. Patience is the key. 💪

 

SH