Giving into tears: a poll

[Tranqdart]

Seems so weird to be asking, but I'm really unsure.

Is it better to give in to weeping whenever it comes on; maybe it brings on calmness?

Or better to distract myself, fight it off?

I've had tears like, five times today and it's only 3pm.

 

[littlebird]

35 minutes ago, Tranqdart said:

Seems so weird to be asking, but I'm really unsure.

Is it better to give in to weeping whenever it comes on; maybe it brings on calmness?

Or better to distract myself, fight it off?

I've had tears like, five times today and it's only 3pm.

 

When the water comes, let it wash over you. Damming it up only saves more for later! There are benefits to crying too. Crying a lot can be overwhelming, but I find that's worse when I spend too much time distracting myself and fighting it off. Sometimes when I just let go and give in to it, there's a lot less than I thought there would be.

[Hanna72]

Hi @Tranqdart
Crying.....I believe it's one of the best therapies for everything. It releases pent up tension and emotion. And yet, we feel badly about having to cry, as if there's something wrong with crying on top of everything else we may think is wrong with us. But our bodies know better than our minds do about what it needs. I shifted my thinking to see it as good therapy

[Moonpie]

 

@Tranqdart  I agree with @Hanna72.  We were created to cry and it is a comfort and release.  Scientists have found that emotional ears have a different chemical composition that other tears (dust in the eye, allergies, cutting onions).  They have a higher concentration of protein based hormones, including prolactin as well as the neurotransmitter leucine enkephalin - a painkiller produced when we experience stress. That's why a good cry can help.  

 

I think some people are uncomfortable with crying because it makes them feel very vulnerable.  You may feel physically and emotionally drained afterwards but rest a little. It is perfectly normal and okay. In withdraw you will have weeping times and sometimes often, but as with all symptoms it will go away.  

 

Try to remember all these challenging symptoms are simply are brains working hard to heal the way they were made too.  Hang in there!  HUGS

 

[Joey805]

We've evolved to cry, it's beneficial for us to do so.

 

Try not to look at it as something you "give in to," as that's like saying you're giving in to the urge to drink water.

 

You're supposed to cry sometimes! Life is emotional, and our body has a built-in release valve for when we get overwhelmed.

If you feel like you're about to cry, it's very likely because you need to. I can scarcely imagine an instance where holding it in would be the better course of action.

[Onmyway]

I will chime in with a third option here. 

First off, it is absolutely OK to cry and it can be quite a release. But for some people and in some occasions crying can feed off on itself and set off an intense and long cycle of rumination and feeling sorry for yourself which can end up quite distressing and plunge you deeper. This is usually an exception but can happen. As others have said it can also be draining. 

 

What I find works better, the third option, is to use self-compassion towards yourself when you feel like crying - whether you actually cry or not. Kristin Neff talks about three steps to self compassion and here is a good summary. She may also have videos on YouTube if that is more your jam. 

 

https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

 

Practicing these three steps can actually dissipate the 'mood' whether with or without tears much quicker. 

 

OMW

[Tranqdart]

15 hours ago, Onmyway said:What I find works better, the third option, is to use self-compassion towards yourself when you feel like crying - whether you actually cry or not. Kristin Neff talks about three steps to self compassion and here is a good summary. She may also have videos on YouTube if that is more your jam. 

 

https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

 

Practicing these three steps can actually dissipate the 'mood' whether with or without tears much quicker. 

 

OMW

dear OMW, THANK YOU for pointing me in Kristen Neff’s direction. I wound up watching this ~40-min talk; very helpful!: 

 

 

 

[MarliesDutch]

Great question!

I would say: let it out, let it go!

 

Most of the time I just let the tears flow. But sometimes I try to ask myself:

- is this an emotion that needs crying and relief? Do I feel it in my body? Can I be gentle with it and soothen it by crying?

- or am I thinking about an emotion or situation that makes me want to cry? That would be crying over a thought. For me, that can cause rumination, overthinking, catastrophizing. Not always helpfull.

[Tranqdart]

3 hours ago, MarliesDutch said:

Great question!

I would say: let it out, let it go!

 

Most of the time I just let the tears flow. But sometimes I try to ask myself:

- is this an emotion that needs crying and relief? Do I feel it in my body? Can I be gentle with it and soothen it by crying?

- or am I thinking about an emotion or situation that makes me want to cry? That would be crying over a thought. For me, that can cause rumination, overthinking, catastrophizing. Not always helpfull.

Thanks, that's a helpful way of evaluating. Not always so easy to direct my thoughts... working on it!