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Giving into tears: a poll


Tranqdart

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Seems so weird to be asking, but I'm really unsure.

Is it better to give in to weeping whenever it comes on; maybe it brings on calmness?

Or better to distract myself, fight it off?

I've had tears like, five times today and it's only 3pm.

 

Tranq Dart Mary

 

1998: 20 mg fluoxetine for a few months; quit cold turkey

2002-2015: 10 mg escitalopram for 13 years; quit cold turkey (disastrously)

2016-2021: 10 mg escitalopram for 6 years after a break of several months;

tapered 254 days starting Nov 30 2021, last dose Aug 9 2022; withdrawal symptoms started in Sept 2022.

 

Supplements: MorningFish oil, magnesium, b6, b12, calcium citrate, C, D3, valerian Evening: magnesium and topical melatonin for sleep

   *Feb/23: quit valerian; **2/21/23-moved magnesium to evening; *** 4/17/23-stopped supplementing b6, b12, d3.

 

Mostly whole food

   *2/5/23: quit alcohol; **3/13/23: quit coffee and tea but not chocolate or sugar.

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35 minutes ago, Tranqdart said:

Seems so weird to be asking, but I'm really unsure.

Is it better to give in to weeping whenever it comes on; maybe it brings on calmness?

Or better to distract myself, fight it off?

I've had tears like, five times today and it's only 3pm.

 

When the water comes, let it wash over you. Damming it up only saves more for later! There are benefits to crying too. Crying a lot can be overwhelming, but I find that's worse when I spend too much time distracting myself and fighting it off. Sometimes when I just let go and give in to it, there's a lot less than I thought there would be.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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Hi @Tranqdart
Crying.....I believe it's one of the best therapies for everything. It releases pent up tension and emotion. And yet, we feel badly about having to cry, as if there's something wrong with crying on top of everything else we may think is wrong with us. But our bodies know better than our minds do about what it needs. I shifted my thinking to see it as good therapy

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.
Did a way to fast taper off of 20 mg fluoxetine. Crashed after being 8 months free of drug.

Reinstated went up to 20 mg

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6


´Impossible is just an opinion’

                 Paulo Coelho


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

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@Tranqdart  I agree with @Hanna72.  We were created to cry and it is a comfort and release.  Scientists have found that emotional ears have a different chemical composition that other tears (dust in the eye, allergies, cutting onions).  They have a higher concentration of protein based hormones, including prolactin as well as the neurotransmitter leucine enkephalin - a painkiller produced when we experience stress. That's why a good cry can help.  

 

I think some people are uncomfortable with crying because it makes them feel very vulnerable.  You may feel physically and emotionally drained afterwards but rest a little. It is perfectly normal and okay. In withdraw you will have weeping times and sometimes often, but as with all symptoms it will go away.  

 

Try to remember all these challenging symptoms are simply are brains working hard to heal the way they were made too.  Hang in there!  HUGS

 

  1. .025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 by weight of pill  every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, AM and Pm  doses.  Reinstated  9-22-16. Began Buspar taper 1-29-23, .001 mg by weight of pills.  N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  1-2023 Labs okay but not where I feel best. 60 mg. daily now but adding 15 mg. more  twice weekly for a few months then check.  Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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We've evolved to cry, it's beneficial for us to do so.

 

Try not to look at it as something you "give in to," as that's like saying you're giving in to the urge to drink water.

 

You're supposed to cry sometimes! Life is emotional, and our body has a built-in release valve for when we get overwhelmed.

If you feel like you're about to cry, it's very likely because you need to. I can scarcely imagine an instance where holding it in would be the better course of action.

2014-2015 Clonazepam (Klonopin) 2mg BID, Sertraline (Zoloft) 150mg (Discontinued Clonazepam cold turkey)

2014-August 2021 Sertraline (Zoloft) 150mg (Discontinued cold turkey in hospital, replaced with new regimen)

August 2021 Sodium Valproate 500mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 150mg (Seroquel)

May 2022 Sodium Valproate 500mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 150mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN, Mirtazapine 15mg

July 2022 Sodium Valproate (Depakote) 500mg, Quetiapine 200mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN, Venlafaxine 75mg (roughly 10 days)

August 1 2022 Sodium Valproate 500mg (Depakote)Quetiapine 100mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN, Buspirone 10mg (5-7 days)

August 14 2022 Sodium Valproate 250mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 100mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN

September 7 2022 Sodium Valproate 250mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 50mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN

September 22 2022 Sodium Valproate 250mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 25mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN

October 9 2022 Sodium Valproate 250mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 12.5mg (Seroquel)

October 26 2022 Sodium Valproate 250mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 0.0mg (Seroquel) - #1 Goal Achieved

November 18 2022 Sodium Valproate 0.0mg (Depakote) Drug Free!

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  • 3 weeks later...
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I will chime in with a third option here. 

First off, it is absolutely OK to cry and it can be quite a release. But for some people and in some occasions crying can feed off on itself and set off an intense and long cycle of rumination and feeling sorry for yourself which can end up quite distressing and plunge you deeper. This is usually an exception but can happen. As others have said it can also be draining. 

 

What I find works better, the third option, is to use self-compassion towards yourself when you feel like crying - whether you actually cry or not. Kristin Neff talks about three steps to self compassion and here is a good summary. She may also have videos on YouTube if that is more your jam. 

 

https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

 

Practicing these three steps can actually dissipate the 'mood' whether with or without tears much quicker. 

 

OMW

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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15 hours ago, Onmyway said:What I find works better, the third option, is to use self-compassion towards yourself when you feel like crying - whether you actually cry or not. Kristin Neff talks about three steps to self compassion and here is a good summary. She may also have videos on YouTube if that is more your jam. 

 

https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

 

Practicing these three steps can actually dissipate the 'mood' whether with or without tears much quicker. 

 

OMW


dear OMW, THANK YOU for pointing me in Kristen Neff’s direction. I wound up watching this ~40-min talk; very helpful!: 

 

 

 

Tranq Dart Mary

 

1998: 20 mg fluoxetine for a few months; quit cold turkey

2002-2015: 10 mg escitalopram for 13 years; quit cold turkey (disastrously)

2016-2021: 10 mg escitalopram for 6 years after a break of several months;

tapered 254 days starting Nov 30 2021, last dose Aug 9 2022; withdrawal symptoms started in Sept 2022.

 

Supplements: MorningFish oil, magnesium, b6, b12, calcium citrate, C, D3, valerian Evening: magnesium and topical melatonin for sleep

   *Feb/23: quit valerian; **2/21/23-moved magnesium to evening; *** 4/17/23-stopped supplementing b6, b12, d3.

 

Mostly whole food

   *2/5/23: quit alcohol; **3/13/23: quit coffee and tea but not chocolate or sugar.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Great question!

I would say: let it out, let it go!

 

Most of the time I just let the tears flow. But sometimes I try to ask myself:

- is this an emotion that needs crying and relief? Do I feel it in my body? Can I be gentle with it and soothen it by crying?

- or am I thinking about an emotion or situation that makes me want to cry? That would be crying over a thought. For me, that can cause rumination, overthinking, catastrophizing. Not always helpfull.

Paroxetine: 1995: seroxat at 11 yo for three months (?!). 2008: ⬆️ jan: started 10mg, intro was hell (incl acathisia, dyskinesia). 2009: ↘️ feb: started taper, ⬇️ may/june: 0mg, ⬆️ sept: went downhill fast (WD?), tried 10mg again and failed, dec: ⬆️ started 10mg again. 2015 + 2017: ↗️↘️ up to 20mg and down to 10mg, no WD. 2021: ↘️ june: started taper, ↘️ aug: 2,8mg, minor WD, ⏯️ hold on 3mg, more emotional ever since and more frequent panic attacks. 2023: ↘️ Jan 26: started taper ⏯️ March 9: 2,2mg, got WD, hold, WD got worse, ↗️ March 25: 2,5mg, ℹ️ April 4: missed a dose, 2x suicidal crisis April 11 and 23, intense WD ever since. Reinstatement: ↗️ Sept 5: 2,6mg, ↗️ Sept 26: 2,7mg, ↗️ Oct 23: 2,8mg, ↗️ Dec 4: 2,9mg, ↗️ Dec 25: 3,0mg 🥳 and hold. This was dose before WD. 


Benzo’s: 2002-2022: using appr. 5-10x 10mg oxa a year. 2008 + 2009: ℹ️ 3x 10mg oxa daily for two weeks when starting Prxt, no WD. 2008: ℹ️ used 10-20mg Dia for a few days for severe orofacial dyskinesia and akathisia when starting Prxt combined with high dose Metoclopramide and severe underweight, no WD. 2022: ℹ️ used 15x 10mg oxa that year. 2023: ℹ️ March 1-24: around 60mg Oxa total. ℹ️ after March 25: oxa daily around 5-30mg, 🔄 April 12: switched to 1mg Lora daily (crisis), ↗️ April 23: 3mg Lora daily (2nd crisis), ↘️ April 27: 2,25mg Lora daily, ↘️ May 12: tapered further, ↘️ June 20: reached 1mg Lora daily, got WD, ↗️ July 01: 1,25mg Lora daily, no relief, ↗️ Aug 25: 1,5mg Lora daily, got better after 6 days, ↗️ Dec 5: 1,8mg Lora daily. Tolerance?? Start taper Feb. ‘24 after reaching 3,0mg Paroxetine reinstatement.

 

Intermediate metaboliser (‘bit more slow’) on CYP2D6 (*1/*4) and CYP2C19 (*1/*2). Extensive (‘normal’) on CYP3A4.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/29018-marliesdutch-dutchie-tapering-paroxetine-paxil-14yrs

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3 hours ago, MarliesDutch said:

Great question!

I would say: let it out, let it go!

 

Most of the time I just let the tears flow. But sometimes I try to ask myself:

- is this an emotion that needs crying and relief? Do I feel it in my body? Can I be gentle with it and soothen it by crying?

- or am I thinking about an emotion or situation that makes me want to cry? That would be crying over a thought. For me, that can cause rumination, overthinking, catastrophizing. Not always helpfull.

Thanks, that's a helpful way of evaluating. Not always so easy to direct my thoughts... working on it!

Tranq Dart Mary

 

1998: 20 mg fluoxetine for a few months; quit cold turkey

2002-2015: 10 mg escitalopram for 13 years; quit cold turkey (disastrously)

2016-2021: 10 mg escitalopram for 6 years after a break of several months;

tapered 254 days starting Nov 30 2021, last dose Aug 9 2022; withdrawal symptoms started in Sept 2022.

 

Supplements: MorningFish oil, magnesium, b6, b12, calcium citrate, C, D3, valerian Evening: magnesium and topical melatonin for sleep

   *Feb/23: quit valerian; **2/21/23-moved magnesium to evening; *** 4/17/23-stopped supplementing b6, b12, d3.

 

Mostly whole food

   *2/5/23: quit alcohol; **3/13/23: quit coffee and tea but not chocolate or sugar.

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