LightQueen Freedom from Meds Gives Life, and Life is Good

[LightQueen]

I've been promising to write my success story for - well, probably around 2.5 years now. It's overdue - but I've been busy living life and have been out in the world away from the forums.

 

I'm a 47 year old female, polymedicated from the age of 17 thru until I finished my taper just a few months before my 43 birthday.  My signature has many of the meds I took, but the final taper I was embarking on when I joined SA was Lamictal and Buspar, on the heels of coming out of protracted withdrawal after stopping Straterra cold turkey. (It wasn't done on purpose and I would strongly NOT recommend this! I suffered dearly for it.) 

 

I approached my taper a bit differently - first doing cut and hold and alternating which medication I was reducing, and then eventually at the end I settled into a joint daily microtaper of the Lamictal and buspar together. I had a supportive prescriber who would write me compounded prescriptions and wrote the Lamictal prescription in a way that it included 5 mg chewable/dispersible tablets starting at about 195 mg. 

 

My taper was complicated by the pharmacy mixing up the buspar suspension with baclofen at one point, which put me into severe withdrawal and caused a set-back, but thankfully it was caught quickly and part of my dose was still in tablet form at the time, so I bounced back better than I might have otherwise. (baclofen did NOT agree with me - it was a horrible medication even at just a couple mg)

 

When I was initially doing drop and hold, I had some akathasia symptoms despite less than a 10% reduction of the lamictal. Thankfully they didn't recur once I reduced to just below a 5% reduction. When I first started microtapering my total monthly reduction was less than 5%, but I adapted well to the daily microtaper and was able to finish the taper quicker as a result. I think in some ways because of my long exposure to meds, my body felt better once I was reducing both the buspar and lamictal at the same time - but they were such small decreases as well, that I think it really helped set me up for success.

 

The most problematic and long-lasting symptom I had during tapering was fatigue. At one point I took a week off work and slept most of the time. But I was able to continue working during my taper, and still work for my same employer now. I used a lot of different supportive therapies, but acupuncture, omega 3, and infrared sauna were the ones that were most helpful for me.

 

Since finishing my taper, my brain has healed an enormous amount. My memory has improved substantially, my executive functioning has developed, and I've been promoted at work. I have a full and busy life doing many different activities, but I am really happy and enjoying it. I've even returned to school and am working on an undergrad degree.

 

I continue to work through the grief and anger that I have from the injuries that psychiatry has caused me - I'm an ECT survivor and have some long term memory loss and other deficits as a result of the ECT, but I'm focused on healing, reaching new goals, and moving forward. 

 

My message to anyone reading is to go slow - as slow as you need to to succeed. Pause when you need to. Don't be afraid to look into things like compounding solutions (the oraplus instructions on the site were invaluable). And most of all - know that there is a time when the taper will be finished, and you'll be on the other side. Embrace the full variety of emotions that come up - they're all important to be a rounded person. (Even those times of anxiety or sadness or fear - it's what makes us human.) 

 

It took about a year for me to feel like I was on the other side of withdrawal symptoms - although things improved quickly in the first 8 weeks, steadily for the first 3 to 6 months, and then more gradually for the remainder of first year. I still periodically discover new small gains that I didn't realize I was missing - but I'm sure that this is just a result of having spent so many years, including critical brain development years, on meds.

 

This is my original intro thread: (spoiler alert - the lamictal WAS causing me major side effects, I just was oblivious to them while I was on Lamictal. It's actually so weird to see the previous pop up for the thread and see that I felt I had no side effects, when in reality I had major memory loss, tremors (that I thought was from previous antipsychotic exposure), neurological symptoms, and numbness - I was checked out from the world and wasn't feeling anything. Buspar I was fully dependent on and had major symptoms from any missed dose or even generic change - so it's interesting to see how my first post, I really didn't understand either of these things.)

 I consider myself fully recovered and have for a few years now. It was hard to imagine when I was in the middle of it, but here I am on the other side.

 

 

[Emonda]

Congratulations, @LightQueen!

 

Thanks for coming back to share your success story. It gave me a massive boost reading it.

 

8 hours ago, LightQueen said:

My message to anyone reading is to go slow - as slow as you need to to succeed. Pause when you need to.

 

8 hours ago, LightQueen said:

And most of all - know that there is a time when the taper will be finished, and you'll be on the other side. Embrace the full variety of emotions that come up - they're all important to be a rounded person. (Even those times of anxiety or sadness or fear - it's what makes us human.) 

 

8 hours ago, LightQueen said:

I consider myself fully recovered and have for a few years now. It was hard to imagine when I was in the middle of it, but here I am on the other side.

 

Awesome 

[Cheeky]

Thanks you so much for taking the time to come back and give an update . I've been on these drugs as long as you and you have given me hope . 
Reading this today has made my day . 
God bless you 🌸

[Ryder]

On 1/8/2024 at 6:32 PM, LightQueen said:

Since finishing my taper, my brain has healed an enormous amount. My memory has improved substantially, my executive functioning has developed, and I've been promoted at work. I have a full and busy life doing many different activities, but I am really happy and enjoying it. I've even returned to school and am working on an undergrad degree.

 

I hope to have a job one day. Thanks for writing your story.

 

Ryder.

[N2deep]

Thanks for posting. Really glad to hear you made it out.

[KimMk]

I want to save this to come back to and read.

 

I’m 30 years old and I’ve been drugged since I was 13. I’m on lamictal and effexor right now and tapering effexor. I made a cut that was way too big in October and crashed in mid January. The symptoms have been all over the place. I’m holding and not updosing because I’m too scared it will aggravate me even further. Just waiting for time to do its thing. Reassuring myself that the insomnia is not permanent. 
We need all the positivity we can get here and I’m so happy for you.