ShantyO7: Here we go again... ShantyO

[ShantyO7]

Hi everyone! So grateful to have found this group. I hope I am doing this right?? I truly hope I can find the help and healing I need here. I have been on some kind of AD for the last 20 years. The 2 I mostly used was Cymbalta and Fluoxetine. First one I took regularly was Cymbalta due to the 'physical symptoms of depression" mainly nausea. I was on it for maybe 3 years. I have quit taking both of them before with NO WD symptoms at all. Was off all meds and when I was 5 months pg, started having panic attacks again so dr put me back on Fluoxetine. Fast forward a bit and I decided I wanted to go back on Cymbalta, why I have no clue. Was on it 3 months and didn't like how it made me feel so dr. was going to switch me to Wellbutrin. Told me I could just quit Cymbalta and would start Wellburtin without any issues. That was a lie! Immediately, started having withdrawal symptoms. Dr. put me back on Fluoxetine thinking it would help but it did nothing of the sort. Worst 9 months of my life! Nausea was the worst symptom. I know that Point of Return is frowned upon but I feel like they actually helped me. That was back in 2017... ready to get off Fluoxetine so (different dr.) told me to wean down and I should be fine. Went from 20mg to 5mg over the course of 5-6 months. Everything went fine so I thought I was in the clear. Felt pretty good the first week, then symptoms would pop up here and there. Nocturnal panic attacks got progressively worse, started having insomnia, then all of sudden the constant nausea and anxiety. Since Point of Return is no longer, I tried implementing what I could from what helped me then but the help is limited. I am on day 62 and it's been an entire month of feeling awful. Dr. is dismissive and doesn't think it's really withdrawals so she isn't much help. Tried to get me to take Xanax but I refused. Prescribed other meds to try to help with the symptoms but nothing really helps and some of the meds I tried just make me feel worse. Feel like I'm alone in this. I am just hoping and praying that it will not be as long lived as last time since I tapered and am not taking any other medications that could interfere. I know everyone is different and all that, but just wish I knew how long this hell will last! I think I can handle everything else, it's just this unrelenting nausea that gets me. Anyway, any insight or advice into my situation would be helpful! Thanks!

[Emonda]

Welcome @ShantyO7

Your story is all too familiar, I'm afraid.

 

This site recommends people taper very slowly: Why taper by 10% of my dosage? The reductions get smaller and smaller every month.

 

You had a very rapid taper (20mg to 5mg) late last year, followed up with a CT at the end of Jan.

 

When you stop ADs CT or with a very rapid taper like you have, WD symptoms are the likely outcome: Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF). Can you relate to the items on this list?

 

It's astounding, but not surprising that your doctor dismisses WD symptoms.

 

17 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

Tried to get me to take Xanax but I refused

 

Good decision.

 

17 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

Prescribed other meds to try to help with the symptoms but nothing really helps and some of the meds I tried just make me feel worse.

 

Sadly, I've never heard of a pill that successfully resolves WD symptoms. Inevitably, these magic pills cause other problems.

 

17 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

Feel like I'm alone in this.

 

Well, the good news is that this forum is full of people like you, so you're not alone. We are all at different stages of recovery.

 

17 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

I know everyone is different and all that, but just wish I knew how long this hell will last!

 

Yep, we all want to know that...but as you know, there is no answer. We are all different.

 

A few handy links:

Windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

Emotional Spirals

 

Non-drug coping strategies

 

Melatonin for sleep

 

Have a good read of these two links:

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Kindling

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. Add one at a time and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Avoid alcohol. 

 

This is your own Introduction topic.  Each member has only ONE Introduction topic.  Your own Introduction topic is the best place to ask questions and the place to journal your progress.  This keeps your history in one place and means you do not have to repeat your story. 

 

Once again, welcome to S.A.

 

Emonda

 

 

 

 

 

[ShantyO7]

So because I went from 5mg to 0mg, that's considered cold turkey??

[littlebird]

7 minutes ago, ShantyO7 said:

So because I went from 5mg to 0mg, that's considered cold turkey??

Yeah, that's a pretty big drop and definitely in cold turkey territory. How's it hitting you so far? Sometimes things can seem ok for a few days and then symptoms strike. 

 

On 4/1/2024 at 8:24 AM, ShantyO7 said:

Dr. is dismissive and doesn't think it's really withdrawals so she isn't much help. Tried to get me to take Xanax but I refused.

Might be worth trying out some new doctors, getting second opinions and all that. I got lucky and found one who is really helpful and understands I stay more stable when I listen to my body and go slowly with changes. 20mg to 5mg in less than half a year is pretty fast for a nervous system to adapt to (and sadly all too many psychiatrists don't understand WD). 

 

Welcome to the site! Glad you're figuring this out.

[KenA]

Hi @ShantyO7

This is from an article in our Tapering Section which describes Exit Dosing

 

Theoretical Exit Dose

The Theoretical Exit Dose is the dose to aim for before making the jump to “0”.  Some people think that a person should just taper as far as possible and then jump to “0”. However, one of the most frequently questions I get is “when do I make the jump?”. People need a target so they can make plans and chart progress.

This is where the Theoretical Exit Dose comes into play. First off it is not a hard and fast number, but rather a point in the taper where it is most likely a person can make the jump to “0” and experience a minimum of WD symptoms.

 

It is defined by Horowitz & Taylor, 2021 and Horowitz, et al.2021, as 1% SERT receptor occupancy which usually works out to be about 1mg. In my experience this is still much too large a dose for most people to make a smooth transition to zero.  If the transition does not go smoothly then reinstatement, stabilization and continued tapering are required.  Which can greatly lengthen an otherwise smooth taper.

 

I prefer to use the formula (median prescribed dose X 0.000625 = Theoretical Exit dose). Most medications are prescribed over a range of doses. For example, paxil comes in 20, 30, and 40 milligram doses. The median dose would be 30mg, which would be used in the formula above. Because we calculate using the median prescribed dosage this formula takes into account the differences in strength between medications and can be used with any of the different psych medications we see.

Again, this is a theoretical dose, something to aim for but not necessary to hit. The actual jump point is determined by how your body is reacting to your reductions.

[ShantyO7]

Sorry, not sure how to respond to each item individually... Wow, I didn't realize that I needed to taper even more, no thanks to my dr! Symptoms started on and off about a week after my last does, then about 3-4 weeks ago, it's been non stop. The nausea is constant like morning sickness and I get waves of anxiety/nervousness throughout the day. Sometime feel short of breath. So far those are my only real symptoms... have had a couple of bad waves and starting to see some windows, however, still feel icky during those windows.

 

I have an appointment with a functional dr in a couple of weeks so hoping she can help some!

 

 

[ShantyO7]

I really do not want to reinstate so just praying I can make it through and my symptoms will start improving soon! How long does the nausea typically last?? I know it's different for everyone but is there like an average?

 

[ShantyO7]

I have had a couple of decent days, only real issue is the incessant queasiness, moderate anxiety and feelings of hopelessness. I have had to sleep in the recliner in the living room for the last week because I just can't get comfortable anywhere.  I think I would feel MUCH better if this queasiness would just go away. My appetite is slowly getting better and I've been hungrier, but having difficulties trying to find more foods I can stomach. I eat the SAME things every day and am scared to try much new for fear it will upset my stomach. I know this is probably what is considered a "window" so I hate the feeling like the bottom could drop out at any moment. As the windows get better, do the waves get better as well? And then each window gets better? Just really hoping that the queasiness goes away SOON! I know everyone is different but is there like an average on how long the queasiness lasts?

[ShantyO7]

Anyone??

[ShantyO7]

Can anyone help me understand windows and waves better... not like tapering stabilization... just plain old withdrawal windows and waves. I am having a hard time figuring it out for myself... I am NEVER symptom free but some days are better than others. But even on my "good" days, I can have a couple hours of increased symptoms. Is there anyone who never really had windows/waves and just gradually improved? With each window/wave, does the next window/wave get better? Like each wave you have is better than the last and each window you have is better than the last? Just trying to make sense of all this which is probably pointless...

[Erimus]

17 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

Can anyone help me understand windows and waves better... not like tapering stabilization... just plain old withdrawal windows and waves. I am having a hard time figuring it out for myself... I am NEVER symptom free but some days are better than others. But even on my "good" days, I can have a couple hours of increased symptoms. Is there anyone who never really had windows/waves and just gradually improved? With each window/wave, does the next window/wave get better? Like each wave you have is better than the last and each window you have is better than the last? Just trying to make sense of all this which is probably pointless...

In early withdrawal the windows are often still littered with symptoms. As time passes the windows improve, and you eventually reach a point where windows actually consist of being symptom free. It takes a long time to reach this point.

Edited April 8 by Erimus

[ShantyO7]

Just wondering if anyone has a weird feeling in their upper stomach (like diaphragm area) that prevents you from laying down or sitting in certain positions? The regular nausea is better but it makes me feel nauseous to lay down or to sit in certain positions. I have not been able to lay down for over a month and have had to sleep in a recliner. I do remember having a weird feeling the last time when I CT'ed from Cymbalta but don't remember it being this bad. Also, I know loss of appetite is common but is it common to be hungry but just not able to eat much at a time? I have to eat every 2-3 hours, even throughout the night, but can only eat like 1-1.5oz of chicken breast and like 1/8 cup of green beans for a meal. Is it just because my body is still trying to recover from all the nausea and digestive issues? My chiropractor thinks I might have a hiatal hernia but I don't have any other the symptoms like acid reflux or anything other than the weird feeling and a hard time eating normal sized meals. Any insight?? 

[Erimus]

22 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

Just wondering if anyone has a weird feeling in their upper stomach (like diaphragm area) that prevents you from laying down or sitting in certain positions? The regular nausea is better but it makes me feel nauseous to lay down or to sit in certain positions. I have not been able to lay down for over a month and have had to sleep in a recliner. I do remember having a weird feeling the last time when I CT'ed from Cymbalta but don't remember it being this bad. Also, I know loss of appetite is common but is it common to be hungry but just not able to eat much at a time? I have to eat every 2-3 hours, even throughout the night, but can only eat like 1-1.5oz of chicken breast and like 1/8 cup of green beans for a meal. Is it just because my body is still trying to recover from all the nausea and digestive issues? My chiropractor thinks I might have a hiatal hernia but I don't have any other the symptoms like acid reflux or anything other than the weird feeling and a hard time eating normal sized meals. Any insight?? 

All the answers you are looking for regarding tapering and antidepressant withdrawal are on this site. Please search around and continue to read as much as you can manage. Use the site search function to search for specific words or phrases, such as drugs or symptoms. Chances are the symptoms you're posting about have already been written about somewhere.

 

See as well:

 

Irritable bowel syndrome: What you can do

 

Weight gain, weight loss, appetite changes, hunger

 

[ShantyO7]

It's not IBS... It's a weird pressure that prevents me from laying down because it triggers nausea. 

[Catwoman73]

On 5/2/2024 at 7:24 PM, ShantyO7 said:

Just wondering if anyone has a weird feeling in their upper stomach (like diaphragm area) that prevents you from laying down or sitting in certain positions? The regular nausea is better but it makes me feel nauseous to lay down or to sit in certain positions. I have not been able to lay down for over a month and have had to sleep in a recliner. I do remember having a weird feeling the last time when I CT'ed from Cymbalta but don't remember it being this bad. Also, I know loss of appetite is common but is it common to be hungry but just not able to eat much at a time? I have to eat every 2-3 hours, even throughout the night, but can only eat like 1-1.5oz of chicken breast and like 1/8 cup of green beans for a meal. Is it just because my body is still trying to recover from all the nausea and digestive issues? My chiropractor thinks I might have a hiatal hernia but I don't have any other the symptoms like acid reflux or anything other than the weird feeling and a hard time eating normal sized meals. Any insight?? 

Hi @ShantyO7- yes!  I get this as well.  I didn't connect it to withdrawal at first.  I've also started having episodes of gagging and retching for absolutely no compelling reason.  There are serotonin receptors in the gut as well, not just the brain, so it sort of makes sense.  Time and patience!  Healing is happening, even when it doesn't feel like it. It's totally ok to eat lots of small meals- do what makes you feel good.  It's a healthier way to eat anyway!

 

Anyway, I wanted to say hi- just read through your intro.  I've CT'd in the past, so I understand where you are right now.  A tiny reinstatement might help- I've certainly seen that reading through other people's threads here- but I totally understand not wanting to do it.  Your body will heal either way- it's about making sure that your experience is tolerable.  It will never be pleasant, but tolerable is a good goal.  Hang in there!

[ShantyO7]

Hey Catwoman73! Thanks for your input! When you are saying, yes you get this as well, are you talking about the weird feeling in your upper abdomen or what exactly were you referring to?

[ShantyO7]

A couple of questions: My last dose was on Jan 31, 2024. My first withdrawal symptom happened a week later on Feb 7, 2024 but it was very hit and miss and all over the place with withdrawal symptoms until about March 10, then they hit hard and it has been a continuous hell. When do I start counting that my withdrawals started then, from the very first one or from when they became bad and continuous? It's a month difference so trying to figure out what month I'm on in the withdrawal process. Next question is about windows and waves... how do you tell when you're in a window vs. a wave? The last week or so, I can't really tell, I just feel blah, not necessarily bad but not good either.

[Emonda]

Hi Shanty07

I've moved your new post back here. It is best to keep everything related to yourself in one spot so people can track your progress and see what's already been suggested.

 

14 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

When do I start counting that my withdrawals started then, from the very first one or from when they became bad and continuous?

 

14 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

It's a month difference so trying to figure out what month I'm on in the withdrawal process.

 

We are all different and our journeys to recovery will take differing periods of time.

 

14 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

Next question is about windows and waves... how do you tell when you're in a window vs. a wave?

 

I'd have another read of the link in my first post, which I've copied below. I read it from time to time to remind myself.

 

On 4/2/2024 at 8:09 PM, Emonda said:

A few handy links:

Windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

Sorry that you are in this position. Time and patience....

[ShantyO7]

Feeling really down, hopeless and defeated this morning. When will this hell ever end?! It's been about 2 1/2-3 months of withdrawal symptoms. I have had to sleep in my recliner for 48 nights now due to the weird feeling in my stomach and it's really wearing on me - physically, mentally and emotionally. How much longer will this continue?! I have lost 45 pounds (which I definitely could stand to lose) but have such a limited diet and am scared to try new foods because I don't want to trigger symptoms. Anyone else in the same boat or have any insight or encouragement? I know no one can but I just wish you could tell me everything will be better on this day, I feel like I could handle it better then... Last time when I came off of Cymbalta, it took about 9 months and I pray to God, it doesn't take that long this time! Last time I was on Fluoxetine to help buffer the anxiety and depression symptoms through and since it is the Fluoxetine I quit, I have nothing to help with those symptoms this time around. I just feel stuck and want to cry all day long. I dread night time and when morning rolls around, I dread the day. My boss made me take a leave of absence from work which is probably a good thing to help with the stress but I literally have nothing to do all day long so it feels like time is standing still. I can't just sit in the recliner all day long to sleep in it all night long, too! I just want this to be over!!

[ShantyO7]

Sorry, but I don't understand the point of this if no one responds... I get people are busy and have lives but I feel so alone and no one seems to respond to me. I have read and re-read all I can but would still like some support. Am I the only one who feels this way? I'm in my 3rd month of WD and this is really hard and feel like I have no one who understands what I'm going through so it would be nice if the ones who do understand would respond.

[Faure]

Hello, I’m sorry you are feeling so bad. Things will get better in time. Unfortunately time and patience are the only things that work, plus of course keeping drug doses stable but I think you are off all meds. 
 

Are you reading other people’s threads and supporting them? You may find that as you interact with others they will then interact with you. It helps. You will be able to find others travelling the same path and suffering the same way. You can support each other through the good and bad days.
 

I supported a few people in my early days on here and 3 years later we still drop in on each other, albeit less often. Have a good look around others’ threads and you may like to read the success stories to give you some hope. Take care and I hope things improve for you soon ☺️

Edited May 18 by Faure

[Ariel]

Hi @ShantyO7

You're right, WD can be really hard. I'm sorry you're going through it.

Remember that everyone else here is also dealing with WD to varying degrees of severity. 

 

I understand the longing for connection and second Faure's input (quoted below).

 

43 minutes ago, Faure said:

Are you reading other people’s threads and supporting them? You may find that as you interact with others they will then interact with you. It helps. You will be able to find others travelling the same path and suffering the same way. You can support each other through the good and bad days.

 

The best ways to receive support are, a) to reach out to others directly to ask for help (for example by tagging people or posting in their threads); and b) offer support to others (for example by tagging people or posting in their threads). 

 

2 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

Sorry, but I don't understand the point of this if no one responds... I get people are busy and have lives but I feel so alone and no one seems to respond to me. I have read and re-read all I can but would still like some support. Am I the only one who feels this way? I'm in my 3rd month of WD and this is really hard and feel like I have no one who understands what I'm going through so it would be nice if the ones who do understand would respond.

 

You've been on SA about 1.5 months and looking back over your thread you've received kind messages and sage advice from Erimus, Emonda, littlebird, KenA, Catwoman73, and Faure. That's a pretty high response rate, considering how many members there are and how few moderators/mentors there are on staff (all of whom are unpaid volunteers, by the way, offering peer support while also navigating their own tapers and WD). 

You have the option of replying to any and all of these members, reading their intro topics and success stories, "liking" their posts by clicking the little heart icon to express your appreciation. 

 

I do understand how hard WD can be, and I get what it's like to feel alone. 

At the same time, this is an excellent opportunity to practice being pro-active about recovery, including taking the initiative to reach out to connect with others. 

Also suggest learning and practicing non-drug coping skills (will post link to help topic below). 

 

Hang in there, Shanty! You got this <3

[Ariel]

 

[ShantyO7]

I have commented on a post and liked a few... I have tried looking through the posts but don't find anything that I can relate to enough to comment. Maybe that's why I am feeling so alone because I don't feel like there's anyone that I relate to or that can relate to me?? I don't know, just feeling very frustrated... It seems like most everyone is tapering which doesn't seem to be anything I am going through or having way different symptoms/experiences than me... I have tried searching different words and still come up with little. Maybe I just don't know what I'm doing...

[Catwoman73]

4 minutes ago, ShantyO7 said:

I have commented on a post and liked a few... I have tried looking through the posts but don't find anything that I can relate to enough to comment. Maybe that's why I am feeling so alone because I don't feel like there's anyone that I relate to or that can relate to me?? I don't know, just feeling very frustrated... It seems like most everyone is tapering which doesn't seem to be anything I am going through or having way different symptoms/experiences than me... I have tried searching different words and still come up with little. Maybe I just don't know what I'm doing...

Hi @ShantyO7- it can be a lonely journey!  And it does take such energy to connect with others, at a time when most of us are super low on energy.  When I started posting here, I watched for newer members that were joining, read their stories, and offered some words of support, even though I'm in a different place- I'm actually relatively stable in my taper, and many people here are not.  This has helped me create some wonderful bonds.  Not with every single person I've commented on, but with a few.  You don't necessarily have to be able to relate to exactly what others are going through- sometimes those bonds can just start by offering a quick hello, and a 'wow, that must really suck' lol.  I think we all just want to be seen and understood.  You are drug free, which is a goal so many of us aspire to, and your story is very interesting, as it helps us see that the battle goes on, even after the drugs are out of our system.   

 

I completely understand where you are.  I've been in that place from rapid tapers in the past.  I think there are lots of us out there who have been on the drug merry-go-round, and have come out damaged on the other side.  You are absolutely not alone, but I know it can feel that way.  And it's super hard to put yourself out there when you're feeling so low, but if you keep reaching out to others here, they will start to reach back.  Plus- it feels amazing when you can offer a helpful word to others.  There's nothing better than helping others in need to brighten your own spirits. 

 

Hang in there my friend!  You will get through this! Sending lots of healing vibes your way! 

 

 

[Faure]

Here are the search results of ‘nausea’ from the last week or so. It is pretty common and something I have suffered severely from myself. I’m sorry it’s happening to you ☹️

 

Sadly nearly everyone here found this place because they were suffering.  You are not alone. Issues with sleep, eating, nausea, despair, feeling it will last for ever, fear, they are, very sadly, all common .
 

I am one of those people. I was suffering from severe WD , came here, foolishly ignored advice, fully reinstated, took years to recover, never fully, and when I was ready did what I was told on here and started the BrassMonkey slide which has gone well. Very few people arrive here before a disaster. 
 

You will get through this, the only thing that works is time and possibly some sort of reinstatement but I’m not qualified to comment on that. If you want to try to relieve symptoms 0.5mg of fluoxetine might help, but get advice from a mod if you want to try that. There is no shame in a small reinstatement and it might help.  

 

 

[Ariel]

10 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

It seems like most everyone is tapering which doesn't seem to be anything I am going through or having way different symptoms/experiences than me...

 

Hi @ShantyO7

 

Have you looked at the help topic I sent you? 

It's specifically for people who are not tapering, but for people who are drug-free and dealing with WD as a result of having come off drugs cold turkey or too fast or suffering immediate adverse reactions. I'm one of the members here who has not tapered during my time on SA, I've been drug-free the whole time I've been here, dealing with cold turkey WD.

I will send you the topic again, along with a few others. 

 

Also, the way you are feeling right now is probably neuro-emotion due to being in a wave. As time goes on the smog will begin to lift and you will find yourself organically improving and gradually better able to connect with others. Your current mental/emotional state is not who you are, it's a symptom of iatrogenic injury, what I call WD-brain. 

 

Try to be patient and very gentle with yourself. If you feel alone that's okay, let yourself grieve and feel sad if that's your current reality. We'll still be here when things shift and you start to emerge from the wave's smoke and mirrors. You are entitled to feeling sorry for yourself. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, and if you need a good ol' wallow in self-pity, go for it! Really get in there and enjoy, lol! I've been there for sure. For a while it feels good and then after a while it doesn't serve any higher purpose, and we can transition out of that place into more constructive, proactive practices of self-compassion, self-acceptance, empathy for ourselves and others, etc. But really, don't worry about it. You don't have to force anything. These shifts will come as you heal. 

 

For now, take care of yourself as best you can and tend your body's healing needs. Wholesome, nutritious diet; gentle exercise; quality rest/sleep; hydration; sunlight to support circadian rhythm; protection from harsh stimuli; communing with nature/animals/people whom you love and trust and who offer support, compassion, love. Shield yourself from undue stressors and avoid toxic relationship dynamics. Create a safe space for yourself and give yourself time. This too shall pass, and however poorly you're currently feeling, it will get better. 

 

Last but not least, don't underestimate the utility of distraction! Another member recently advised that they have 3 words for those of us still in the thick of things: 

Keep going. 

Distract. 

 

I can attest to that being a viable strategy. 

 

Love,

A.

 

 

[Ariel]

 

[Ariel]

 

[Ariel]

 

[Ariel]

 

[ShantyO7]

Thank you all! I appreciate all the info and encouragement! I just got over a stomach bug on top of everything else going on so it just put me in an extra funk. Hoping for a window real soon! Also, haven't been able to sleep in my bed or even really lay down for almost 2 months, been sleeping in a recliner and it's messing me up 😭

[Catwoman73]

Just now, ShantyO7 said:

 I just got over a stomach bug

OMG me too!  It was AWFUL.  And it definitely sets you back both physically and mentally.  Find some time to relax in the sunshine!  I have long covid and I'm tapering, so I really find that rest, pacing myself, and time in nature is the best medicine!

[ShantyO7]

23 hours ago, Catwoman73 said:

Hi @ShantyO7- it can be a lonely journey!  And it does take such energy to connect with others, at a time when most of us are super low on energy.  When I started posting here, I watched for newer members that were joining, read their stories, and offered some words of support, even though I'm in a different place- I'm actually relatively stable in my taper, and many people here are not.  This has helped me create some wonderful bonds.  Not with every single person I've commented on, but with a few.  You don't necessarily have to be able to relate to exactly what others are going through- sometimes those bonds can just start by offering a quick hello, and a 'wow, that must really suck' lol.  I think we all just want to be seen and understood.  You are drug free, which is a goal so many of us aspire to, and your story is very interesting, as it helps us see that the battle goes on, even after the drugs are out of our system.   

 

I completely understand where you are.  I've been in that place from rapid tapers in the past.  I think there are lots of us out there who have been on the drug merry-go-round, and have come out damaged on the other side.  You are absolutely not alone, but I know it can feel that way.  And it's super hard to put yourself out there when you're feeling so low, but if you keep reaching out to others here, they will start to reach back.  Plus- it feels amazing when you can offer a helpful word to others.  There's nothing better than helping others in need to brighten your own spirits. 

 

Hang in there my friend!  You will get through this! Sending lots of healing vibes your way! 

 

 

 

14 hours ago, Ariel said:

 

Not sure if this is how you respond to Ariel's comment but if so thanks for sharing this. It was a helpful read!

[ShantyO7]

6 hours ago, Catwoman73 said:

OMG me too!  It was AWFUL.  And it definitely sets you back both physically and mentally.  Find some time to relax in the sunshine!  I have long covid and I'm tapering, so I really find that rest, pacing myself, and time in nature is the best medicine!

Yeah, it really sucks to get sick ON TOP of everything else going on in your body. I can't imagine having long covid as well!

[Catwoman73]

3 hours ago, ShantyO7 said:

Yeah, it really sucks to get sick ON TOP of everything else going on in your body. I can't imagine having long covid as well!

Lol- I've had long covid for almost two years, and I've been tapering for six months.  Honestly, I think long covid prepared me for the taper.  There are so many overlapping symptoms.  I've gotten used to feeling crappy!  I think that as long as I go slow, I think the taper will be quite tolerable this time, because I'm so prepared for it.  My biggest fear is the jump off, which is probably more than a year away for me, but it still scares me.  I know from past experience that it can be very ugly for me.  I'm hoping that doing a slow taper for the first time in my life will help mitigate some of that.  Fingers crossed!