Mbrib: Introduction.

[Mbrib]

Hello, I have been looking for answers to my sudden developing of what my doctor(s) have called a "major depressive episode"..."anxiety".

They've recommended therapy to which I have chosen not to attend for various reason but primarily because at this point I've lost trust in "medical professionals" and the system as a whole, but I am getting ahead of myself.

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My problems began around the halfway mark of 2023. I began to experience extreme, crippling anxiety and panic attacks, as well as a noticeable decline in cognitive function (I found reading and retaining information harder than before). There were times I would sit and just become a vegetable, no thoughts or emotions besides an ever present state of uneasiness, other times I would just cry, profusely. This kind of anxiety was unlike anything I had ever experienced, It felt like when someone scares you and that sudden surge of fear spikes up... except it was ever present, all day, for most days. it wrecked me psychologically to the point I was considering suicide. This has completely obliterated my self esteem and whatever image I once had of myself of a person that "had it all together" as ive never experienced anything close to this ever and I also had no idea WHY this was happening. It made me feel like I was broken. (sob story over, kinda)

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It has gotten better. somewhat. I no longer experience an ever present state of uneasiness. panic attacks are gone. My cognitive function also appears to be improving... I KNOW I am not back to where I once was... but these improvements are definitely the reason I am here writing to whoever is reading, when I was in the thick of it I simply wanted to make it through the day. Now I wish to understand what happened to me. I have been racking my brain in order to retrace any and all steps of my life these past 18 months and that is where my time with PROZAC jumped out at me. 

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I was prescribed prozac around early December of 2022 after dealing with some anxiety and depression. Took it for about 3 months. Everything was fine at first, swell even. until one day around the 3 month mark I suddenly started having difficulty breathing, muscle spasms in my chest and jaw, muscle rigidity & sweating... my doctor theorized it was possibly serotonin syndrome. I was ordered to stop taking the medication, immediately (yes cold turkey). And moved on with my life, everything was fine for a while after that, I didn't suffer heavy withdrawals just an increase in irritability for a short while.

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That is when we get to the halfway mark of 2023 and, as I've laid out above... it was a total disaster. Fast forward to where we are now and I've searched on the web for an answer and seeing other peoples negative experiences with SSRIS resonated with me to my core. I was introduced to the term "rebound effects" and that is what I personally believe to be what is to blame for the worst time of my life.

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(thanks for reading this far down, I know its a lot) I guess, ultimately I want to get back to where I was. And that is what petrifies me, the idea that this is permanent or that I won't ever be the same. I still struggle with a lack of "feeling awake"... like im in a sort of dream. I have nightmares most nights, it use to be every night, except that when I would wake up back then the real nightmare was being alive. To a certain extent I think im getting use to it as well, aside from also getting better but I refuse to become complacent to my situation.

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I just want to claw my way to any and all possible information regarding this "issue" im dealing with. If there is anything anyone here can recommend for me (or talk, id really appreciate hearing im not the only one this has happened to) I would really appreciate it. and once again thanks for reading this mini essay. 

[Carmie]

Welcome to SA @Mbrib

 

I’m sorry to hear about your panic attacks, anxiety, anhedonia etc. Yes, these meds can certainly bring these symptoms on. I’m glad you were able to put two and two together and figure out it was the meds.

 

I got severe akathisia, as well as a million other symptoms, from being put on and off meds, including being cold-turkeyed. My being put on meds all started off with chronic pain. It didn’t click with me for ages that it was the meds that were causing the symptoms either. When I was tapering the last med, which I’m still tapering from, I ended up getting akathisia again when I went too quickly. That was when I came to the realisation that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, it was the medication. The doctors made out that it was me as well. They didn’t even figure out or let me know that I had medication induced akathisia. All that time I thought there was something terribly wrong with me personally.

 

To start on this site, could you please first of all put in your drug signature. At the top of the introduction page there’s a thread entitled: “Please start a topic about yourself in this forum.” You’ll see in the first paragraph that there’s a link showing you how to the signature. Thanks💛