Lima: Will I ever recover?

[Lima]

Hi, in need of support.
 

Started Fluoxetine in 2007 or 2008.

Had so much OCD it took over my life. Between 2007/8 - 2015 I stopped abruptly in certain periods only to always start again. I also tried Sertraline and Clomipramil during those years. Oct-2015 I stopped abruptly from 40mg Fluoxetine to 20mg.

Feb-2016 I stopped abruptly with 20 mg. May-2016 came the crash, I have never felt so bad. Reintroduced 10mg Fluoxetine which never helped, never got stable. Then a real mess begins between 2016-2023 and I can barely remember all the medications and doses I tried to "save" my terrible feeling/discontinuation of Fluoxetine.

I have tested and deployed:

Sertraline, Cipralex, Buspar, Voxra, Lamictal, Venlafaxine, Cymbalta, Anafranil, Lithium (stopped abruptly due to kidneys)

In the summer of 2023,

I received 6 ECT treatments when I was hospitalized.

Since 2016 I have felt absolutely terrible, mainly psychological but also physical ailments. I haven't been able to work, see friends, my 11 year long relationship ended. I have not worked since May -2016.

Dec-23 I moved home to my mother as I was unable to take care of myself. I give all my little strength to my dog, even there my mother has to help a lot.

I have been completely drug free from antidepressants since June -23 and lithium free since Aug -23

Will never take a psychiatric medication again!

 

Will I ever be okay after all I've been through? It feels completely hopeless and I have already been struggling bad for 8 years.

I suffer from terrible anxiety every day as well; Brain fog Extreme Dizziness Concentration difficulties Derealization (constant) Dissociation (almost constant) Depression Disaster thoughts Extreme fatigue fog vision Feeling of constant terror/fear Overstimulated quickly and then gets mushy and hot in the head. Unmotivated.

Edited April 27 by Emonda
Name to title

[Carmie]

Welcome @Lima

 

I’m really sorry you’re suffering and that you were put on and off so many medications. It sounds like you’re going through Protracted Withdrawal (PAWS). Could you please first of all put in your drug signature, so that we can see your medication list and dates at a glance. Just go to the top of this Introduction and Updates page and you’ll see a thread asking you to start a topic about yourself. In the first paragraph there’s a link showing you how to do your drug signature. Thank you. 
 

Healing from these medications can take a long time, but the brain slowly gets back to some equilibrium again. It can take quite a while though, everyone is different. I came to this site in 2018 and I’d already been tapering for years, and I’ve got many years to go as I can only taper by a teeny tiny amount. 
 

Do you drink alcohol or drinks with caffeine in them. It’s best to steer clear of alcohol altogether and to cut down on caffeine and sugar. Also you could try taking fish oil and magnesium, but just start on a low dose of one of them and slowly up it, then try the next supplement. That way you can see if you can tolerate it, or not. A number of people have benefited from this. 
 

Check out the Symptoms and Self Care section, there’s lots of good advice there too. Also, feel free to pop over to other people’s threads too for some encouragement as well💛