Popular Post Dwell Posted May 11 Popular Post Share Posted May 11 (edited) I never thought I would get to write my success story. I honestly thought I would end a cautionary tale, but here we are. 8 years later and thriving. My personal hell started in September of 2016. I was 29 years old about to turn 30 and my husband and I had happily gotten pregnant, hoping for a second child. That pregnancy ended in miscarriage but I had already gone cold turkey off the Paxil I had been taking for 3+ years. I continued my buspirone, but just one week after quitting the Paxil, I was going through hell. My hell was something I could have never imagined to be so terrible. Brain zaps, muscle weakness, depersonalization, and overall disconnect from real life. I could not be left alone, as a grown adult and mother , my husband had to babysit me at all times. I no longer wanted to be on this earth, but I knew I could not give up. For about 2-3 years it was a constant struggle but every day I made myself promise to just go one more day, if not for me, for my husband and child. The list of symptoms was a mile long, and to be honest I’m so happy that I cannot remember or feel half of them. I hope to never remember that misery. When I was in the thick of it nothing seemed to help, but now looking back, having a good support (my husband), getting outside, and clinging to each minute were the only things that got me through. I quit work, was not driving, and had to schedule my days where other grown ups could sit with me so I was never alone. It was all encompassing and it was exhausting. I don’t remember an exact time line but the last 3-4 years have been so healing for me. Covid and lockdowns really sent me into a spiral but healing came soon after. Today, I am back to work (part time), I’ve had another child, and I am currently pregnant with twins. I am inching my way back into driving. I’m not perfect and I know to some extent I’ll always live with some side effect. Brain fog, trouble concentrating, and anxiety being some of them but life is so much better! People always ask why the people who recovered aren’t here to help those still going through it. It’s not out of not caring, it’s just that life is so much better in the other side. We are out there taking advantage of every minute we get outside of the hell! There is hope, you will get through it. It does take way too long but healing does happen! Life is good, it’s worth waiting. YOU WILL NOT BE STUCK IN THIS FOREVER! I wish all of you nothing but healing! ❤️🩹 Edited May 11 by Emonda Name to title 18 Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016. Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts. Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016. Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both. I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Emonda Posted May 11 Administrator Share Posted May 11 What a wonderful post, @Dwell. Thank you so much for coming back and writing your story. Wishing you much happiness with your expanding family 😊 1 Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. Start of taper: Jan ’22 Vortioxetine 15mg, End year 1: 4.5mg, End year 2: 2.38mg, Year 3: 19 Jan 2.33mg, 26 Jan 2.28mg, 2 Feb 2.24mg, 8 Feb 2.19mg, 29 Feb 2.15mg, 7 Mar 2.10mg, 14 Mar 2.06mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 10 Apr 1.95mg, 17 Apr 1.91mg, 24 Apr 1.87mg, 1 May 1.83mg, 23 May 1.80mg, 30 May 1.76mg, 8 Jun 1.72mg, 13 Jun 1.66mg, 3 Jul 1.62mg, 10 Jul 1.58mg, 17 Jul 1.54mg, 23 Jul 1.50mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsalyssadood Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 2 hours ago, Dwell said: There is hope, you will get through it. It does take way too long but healing does happen! Life is good, it’s worth waiting. YOU WILL NOT BE STUCK IN THIS FOREVER! I wish all of you nothing but healing! ❤️🩹 This is exactly what I needed to read tonight! Thank you for coming back and writing your success story- and congratulations on making it to the other side ♥️♥️ Zoloft 3/2022 4 doses- adverse reaction Lexapro 4/2022 10mg Taper began 6/2022: 5.0mg End of 2022: 3.2mg End of 2023: 1.8mg 2024 taper: 2/3/24: 1.76mg 3/2/24: 1.7mg 4/15/24: WD symptoms 4/24/24: updose 1.72mg Propranolol 30mg 3x day 4/15/24- 25mg 3x day 5/13/24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip52 Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 Wonderfully inspiring. Thanks so much for coming back to share and good luck with the twins. 1994-2002 several different SSRI’s, klonopin. 2002 ct klonopin, 2 wks later put back on klonopin, added Seroquel & lexapro 2002 weaned klonopin 2006 Ct lexapro, added imipramine 250mg, 2009-2010 weaned off seroquel, 2016-17 150mg, 2017-19 100 mg, 1/20 50mg, 2 weeks later 60 mg 11/22 56 mg 12-22 50mg 4/5/23 - 47mg 4/16 40 mg 6/27/23-35mg, 4/15/24 33mg, 5/15/24 32mg, 5/27/24 30mg, 6/09/24 29mg, 6/14 28mg Ropinirole 1/2020 3/21 ropinirol 2 mg Ozempic 4/2023 .25, 6/26/23 .37mg 12/1/23 .39mg, 4/24 40mg, 5/16/24 .25mg 6/14 0mg clonidine .1mg 1/2024 Supplements: boron, diatomaceous earth, cream of tartar and Celtic sea salt, transdermal magnesium oil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ariel Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 Hi @Dwell Congratulations on healing and living life! Thank you so much for coming back to share your story. It means the world. Wishing you all the best -- health, happiness, peace, safety, ease of well-being to you and your family, A. 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg August 2021 - 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin 2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp cod liver oil blend (incl. vit. A+D+E) w/ breakfast; calcium; vitamin C+zinc Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBoo19 Posted May 12 Share Posted May 12 Hello @Dwell Thank you for coming back to give us all hope, I have lived on success stories and I think I can say they have literally saved me many many times. I do not understand why people do not return to give the rest of us hope as this is the anecdotal evidence that will help raise the profile and evidence to the medical professionals the truth from these insidious drugs. Good luck and I wish you all the very best for the future with your growing family x 1 Started venlafaxine December 2016. Started to wean off Effexor over 16 months period and I had no issues at all. Stopped June 2020. Unfortunately, I was under chronic stress from 4 deaths (1 was my mother) in the family amongst other things and sunk back down in October 2020. Rather than accepting this was chronic stress and grief, I panicked and went to the GP. October 2020 prescribed Vortioxetine 10mg for 1 month and then increased to 15 mg ups advice from GP on for 7 weeks in total. Had suicidal thoughts and off the wall anxiety. Changed to Lexapro in mid December 2020, slow titration from 2.5mg up to 10mg. After 7 weeks again off the wall anxiety. I was advised to take 5mg for one week and stop as I want to go 'au natural'. Last SSRI was 30 January 2021. I was also prescribed diazepam and Zopiclone through the 4 months of taking SSRis to 'manage' the side effects and also for the withdrawal. I am probably withdrawing from all drugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon1 Posted May 12 Share Posted May 12 On 5/11/2024 at 2:12 AM, Dwell said: The list of symptoms was a mile long, and to be honest I’m so happy that I cannot remember or feel half of them. I hope to never remember that misery. It's so interesting you say that. I've read a few times recently that when people recover, the feelings and emotions that accompanied all the pain of withdrawal all but disappear. It's almost as if when the brain heals, those negative neural pathways are shut down forever. 2 Oct 2018 - Jun 2020: 10 mg per day generic Escitalopram in pill form. Jul 2020 - Aug 2020: Switched to 9 mg per day of Cipralex drops to aid tapering. Sep 2020 - Oct 2020: Taper to 8 mg. Nov 2020 - Dec 2020: Taper to 7 mg. Jan 2021 - Feb 2021: Taper to 6 mg. Mar 2021 - Apr 2021: Taper to 5 mg. May 2021 - Jun 2021: Taper to 4 mg. Jul 2021 - Sep 2021: Taper to 3 mg. Sep 2021 - Jan 2022: Taper to 2 mg. Jan 2022: Stopped taking altogether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenixmama Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 thank you for coming back and giving everyone here something to get by with , as you know it means so much ❤️ and congrats on your babies 😊 2021: started celexa 10mg feb 2nd feb 25th took my last 10g; feb 26th 5mg; feb 27th 5mg; feb 28th 2021 cold turkey currently taking mag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwell Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 I am so happy that I could write this and give a tiny bit of hope to anyone! I’ve tried to like everyone’s replies but it’s not showing so I don’t know if it worked. If you have any questions feel free to post or message me! I’m not on here a lot anymore but I’ll try to reply! YOUR SUCCESS IS COMING! 5 Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016. Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts. Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016. Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both. I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator KenA Posted June 12 Administrator Share Posted June 12 Thank you @Dwell for coming back and sharing with us! Best wishes for continued success! 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaylaq Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 @Dwell Thank you so much for returning to tell us about your recovery. It so important to those here going through this hell journey! My only question if you get this, when you did start to feel the healing what support where you giving your body, example, activities, supplements, therapy??? Congratulations on having twins soon 🥰🥰 On Venlafaxine for 30 years, 150mg 2018 first tapered, over 2 months, horrible crashed, reinstated 3 months later February 2023, tapering again, every 4 weeks reduced by 50% 150mg down to 37:5mg June 2023, from 37.5, broke open capsule, started tapering by one bead at a time every 2 weeks August, 2023 stopped last bead. Nov, 2023, started Saint John Wort, 600mg, 3x a day = 1800mg - reduced 1 capsules 300mg on Feb 15, 2024 Supplements, magnesium bisglycinate, B complex, multivitamin, Omega 3 complex, Vitamin D3, digestive enzymes also, use L-Theanine, occasionally natural GABA, - stopped this in Jan 2024 For H.Pylori- Manuka Honey, 850mgo, Mastica Chios gum, Kefir, & probiotics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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