FeelingAlone - Serotonin Syndrome and withdrawels

[FeelingAlone]

My new psychiatrist. I told him about my history and how I won't take any benzos or any other psychoactive drugs. He recommended it cause he says there isn't any addictive qualities and it doesn't alter brain chemistry. He described it as being better than Benadryl but without the hangover Benadryl causes. Since I'm very skeptical of doctors and meds, I wanted to ask people here if they heard of it and if it indeed doesn't hurt an already fragile mind.

[Altostrata]

Well, that explains it. He's not being altogether candid with you, which is typical of psychiatrists. It sure does alter brain chemistry (see the Wikipedia quote above).

 

Personally, I would not take anything that hits H (histamine) receptors, except for the occasional Benedryl. They've already been messed up enough by the antidepressants, which affect H receptors. Antidepressants were developed from antihistamines.

 

Why are you seeing a psychiatrist again?

[FeelingAlone]

Thanks Alto! I'll just stay the course with my 5mg dose of Lamictal and try to stop over analyzing and trying to rush things. I really am trying to learn to be patient with this. I guess we all want to be fixed now! I'll write later, time for a walk

[peggy]

patience can be elusive and fleeting when we are in withdrawal - i am always on the look out for it and try to hang on when it visits me. Sometimes i am blind to it, but it is a quality that i have in other aspects of my life, so i should be able to harness it now!

[FeelingAlone]

I had a good night last night. I hung out with some friends and boyfriend and actually laughed and was able to forget for a few hours that I was in withdrawal. Another victory was I slept for 7 straight hours!!! I feel refreshed today and full of hope. I still woke up with the dread/doomed feeling this morning but passed really quickly. I'm going to attempt to go out in public for a few hours with my friend. Hope everyone has a good day :-)

[peggy]

that's a wonderful update!

[FeelingAlone]

Here's my update...today I'm stuck in a rut. I keep asking myself the question "Whats the point of life" and "Why even bother". These last 6 months of feeling like a yo-yo has left me drained and probably traumatized. I hate waking up and wondering if I'm going to be good or if I'm going to be stuck in AD withdrawal hell. The brain zaps have been a 7/10 this morning and leg cramps from hell. I wish I could see the end game to all of this and try to find happiness and joy again. I used to be so relaxed and happy go lucky; now I'm the downer no one wants to be around. I hate being negative, but today those thoughts are stuck on re-play.

[tezza]

Hi FA,

 

I know how hard it is to get out of the negative stinking thinking rut. I was in it for such a long time myself. Maybe you could make a list of things that are good in your life.

 

You might surprise yourself by how many things you could think of.

 

Think about happy memories and believe that you will again have happy times. I thought I'd never feel better again but I do and you will too.

 

Hang in there!

 

Love and hugs,

Tezza

[FeelingAlone]

Thanks Tezza! I know what you're saying. I do have a lot of positive things in my life and plenty of things to be grateful for. I'm trying to leave the past in the past and focus on the future, but somedays its hard to not dwell on things. I just want to be able to go with the flow of things and relax. Each day it does get a little better. I'm just feeling very angry today at my doctor and pharmaceutical companies for the lack of knowledge of what ADs do to people and the lack of empathy towards people in our situations.

[tezza]

I understand the anger, I feel that way too sometimes. For a while I was even angry at myself for allowing this to happen to me in the first place. But had I been better informed, I (and you) would have made different choices.

 

Now we have to do what we can to heal. Our brain is trying to heal itself and we can help it by being good to ourselves. I've said before, we tend to remember negative more than positive experiences, naturally; therefore, we have to put good thoughts in our head intentionally.

 

I always use this example: if you lost $100 you would naturally dwell on it longer than if you gained $100. It just comes natural...so we have to work at thinking good thoughts.

 

I don't blame you for feeling that anger, we all do at some point, I believe.

 

Many hugs,

Tezza

[FeelingAlone]

Today is kinda a blah/anxiety day. Thanks to my period and the AD withdrawal, I'm feeling rather weepy and frazzled today. All last night I tossed and turned. Damn insomnia :-( I've been reminding myself that I'm going to have some bad days and just need to relax more on these days. I'm still on my 5mg of Lamictal and feel as tho it is helping quite a bit. I'm still trying to work up the nerve to try some magnesium today to see if it helps relaxing me. So scared of anything in pill form, even vitamins. I have been taking Epsom salt baths with lavender and it helps me fall asleep quite quickly and helps with the severe muscle aches. So, all in all, I'm hanging in there and will keep moving forward. Hope everyone has a good day :-)

[peggy]

you seem to be going in the right direction FeelingAlone - wonderful news

[FeelingAlone]

I'm still feeling rather anxiety. It feels as though I want to crawl out my skin and can't sit still. I've been trying to keep myself busy and put this extra energy into errands and housework. The last few nights I haven't slept well and am exhausted tonight. I hope that means the sandman will visit me tonight :-) I downloaded relaxation/meditation music on my phone and hopefully that'll help me get some sleep. The brain zaps are pretty minimal, but the dizziness is bugging me pretty bad. Atleast I'm not getting worse....

[FeelingAlone]

Hello all, for the last 2 days I've been absolutely exhausted and not sleeping well. With the inability to get good rest, I find my mood is really down and depressed. I try to drink a lil bit of caffeine but it just makes the nervousness worse. Does anyone have suggestions on how to boost my energy levels without boosting my anxiety with it?

[tezza]

I can't remember whether you can tolerate B Complex Vitamins or not, that would give some energy after you take them for a bit. The only other thing I can think of is eating foods that are high in protein.

 

There's a lot of people across the board right now that are having sleep problems as well, myself included. Last night I took Alteril and slept better than I have in a while. It's all natural but if someone has sensitivities its not recommended because it contains more tha one ingredient. I haven't had sensitivities, thank God.

 

The thing with sleep aid supplements is they only seem to work for a brief period for most people.

 

I hope you feel better soon!

 

Tezza

[FeelingAlone]

Thank you Tezza...Unfortunately, B-Vitamins are way to activating for me. I'm super sensitive to supplements and other meds. I'll try eating a high protein diet the next few days. For people like us, sleep is more valuable than money I could fall asleep right now, but I want to stay awake so hopefully I can regulate my body into a routine. I'm pretty sure if I take a nap right now, I won't sleep a wink tonight. Thank you again Tezza for your support and replies!

[tezza]

FeelingAlone, you are very welcome...

[Altostrata]

You may wish to avoid caffeine altogether. It has a very long half-life that can affect sleep a day later.

[FeelingAlone]

Good idea Altostrata...didn't think about the half life of caffeine. No more caffeine for me for awhile. Thanks for the advice

[FeelingAlone]

Hello all, I had a question. Is normal during withdrawal to feel like everything is a bit "off"? Some moments I feel ok, then I feel like the world is against me. I don't know if the feelings and perception I have is normal. I guess being in an AD fog for a decade then not in the fog anymore has me being overwhelmed trying to figure out what is normal feelings and what is neuroemotions....I just want to relax and not over analyze everything every moment of the day.

[tezza]

Hi FA,

 

Yes, this is just part of withdrawal. It will get better as you stabilize. I dealt with all sort of neuroemotions in early withdrawal. They visit me still but not so often.

[FeelingAlone]

Tezza, did you also have feelings of what's the meaning of life? What's the point of all this? Why bother getting up in the morning? That kind of stuff...

[FeelingAlone]

Hello everyone, just an update. I've been on my 5mg dose of Lamictal since March 2nd and feel it is really helping me stabilize. I still am having a difficult time, but its easier to deal with now. I'm enjoying things again and have been getting out of the house on a daily basis I still have a ways to go, but I'm feeling confident in this journey now! Looking forward to being "me" again. My side effects that are still bothersome are leg cramps, insomnia, minor brain zaps, irritated feeling, and dizziness.

[Altostrata]

Good to hear, FA.

 

Magnesium might help the leg cramps -- see the topic in Symptoms and Self-care.

[flower]

Has anybody tried Visteril for anxiety/nervousness? I hear its non addictive and safe...

 

I just saw your post and wanted to let you know I use vistaril when needed for anxiety. I have done so many times. It has saved my life. I haven't used it in a long time and didn't have any problems giving it up. While WDing from Zoloft it helped alot. It makes you sleepy ,and I if I remember right it made my legs ache . It helps with pain. My Doc described it as benadryl times 10. It helped with hives. The only reason I use it is in an emergency,I wig out over anxiety. Sounds like you're on the right road without it though. Peace.

[FeelingAlone]

Thanks for your reply Flower...I havent used any visteril yet, but I keep it with me just in case. It's kinda like a security blanket for me :-)

[FeelingAlone]

Alto, I got 250 mg of Magnesium Oxide....do I take 1 or a 1/2 to start?

[Altostrata]

Try taking a quarter of a tablet to start. See the magnesium topic in Symptoms and Self-care.

[tezza]

Tezza, did you also have feelings of what's the meaning of life? What's the point of all this? Why bother getting up in the morning? That kind of stuff...

 

 

Yes, FA, I had those thoughts and feelings every day for several months. I thought about death daily, and wished to die. I couldn't imagine that I would ever progress to a better state.

 

I needed constant reassurance that it would get better, even with reassurance I found it hard to believe. It did gradually get better.

[FeelingAlone]

Tezza, it does make me feel better that those kind of thoughts are "normal" during withdrawal. I am sorry you had those thoughts too. It sucks when you want to turn your brain off and can't. Glad to hear it gets better!!

[FeelingAlone]

I've had a pretty decent week. I was out and about doing things that I used to before the withdrawal process. My hope and happiness grows everyday. While I still have bouts of anxiety and "what-ifs", its much easier to deal with. I have been averaging 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night :-) I still feel wired and full of uncomfortable energy all day as well. But looking back through my previous posts, I noticed I'm making great progress in my recovery. I only wish that I could stop being scared of getting depressed and super anxious like I was a few months ago. I need to find a way to let go of the past and move on. Does anyone of suggestions on how to let go?

[anon]

Hello FA, you are progressing well and I can relate that you would feel anxious too, fearing if the depression and anxiety would return. What I find helpful is befriending the fear, understanding it, acknowledging it, and being compassionate with yourself. Over time the fear will most likely lessen, wax or wane. Believe that you can deal with it, as you have dealt with all the other challenges to have come this far. xxx

[FeelingAlone]

Hello everyone,

 

I haven't posted in over a week and just wanted to update you on my progress. I just reread my posts and that helped me see the progress I've been making since the beginning. It's been 7 months since I began this journey and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter by the week.

I started therapy yesterday and after my appointment I felt like a huge weight was lifted. It felt so good to talk to someone about everything that has been going on. Having someone listen to me, who wasn't biased, was amazing. I'm looking forward to my next appointment. She reassured me that many people feel better without the use of evil prescription medication. My therapist even told me that antidepressants only masked the problems and don't really solve them. She wasn't aware of the extent of AD withdrawal, but wants me to bring information about it to our next appointment so she can better understand how to help me through it. I like her so much already because she is so open minded and she seems dedicated to helping me through this hell.

My withdrawal symptoms that are still present are agitation, some insomnia, nervousness, and anger. I think a lot of the anger is situational and due to having to go through all this. The insomnia is nearly as bad as it was. I can generally sleep 6 hours uninterrupted and once or twice a week I can get 8-9 hours. My agitation on a scale 0f 1-10 is a 4. It doesn't impact my daily activities as long as I don't give in to it. I try to look in from the outside and see if the situation actually warrants me to be agitated. Generally it doesn't.

I don't dread my day anymore. I try to keep myself busy and involved in daily activities. Too much free down time gets my mind going in places it shouldn't be. All in all, I am progressing in the right direction. My windows are lasting more than my waves. My next goal is to try and start supplements such as magnesium and fish oil. I'm so scared of any pills, but I don't want that to stop me. It's a fear I need to get over. I'll start at very low doses and increase every few days. I never thought I'd be able to get this far in this journey, but look at me go!! It's nice to have hopes and dreams again :-)

[FeelingAlone]

My therapist wants me to do Mindfulness Body Scan and I was wondering if anyone has a good website they have used. I googled it, but there are so many choices and was hoping you guys can help me narrow it down. I also have a nasty cold: stuffy nose, cough, and body aches...are there any cold medications I can use that won't exasperate my WD or anxiety? Thanks :-)

[FeelingAlone]

Hello everyone,

 

I just wanted to share my update with you. Each day gets better and better. I'm sleeping through the night consistently, I barely shake anymore, and my days are filled with laughter and happiness. I'm able to cope and deal with stress much easier and I'm not scared to live anymore.

My CBT is going quite well and is really helpful in dealing with my PTSD from withdrawal. I'm learning that I'm not going to have my anxiety control my life anymore. The scary dp/dr is 90% gone and I have a healthy view on life again. My anger is primarily due to the negative effects of the antidepressants I was on and the foolish MDs that ignore antidepressant withdrawal syndrome.

I've been unemployed for 5 months and I have decided I'm ready to start working again! I can't wait to enjoy all the perks of working again :-) I'm ready to start living my life again.

I'm going to stay on my 5mg of lamictal for several more months before I start tapering it very slowly. Hope everyone has a better day than the last....

[FeelingAlone]

Hello everyone, I haven't posted in over a month and wanted to update...I've been feeling close to 90% of my old self. My current symptoms consist of a teeny bit of anxiety 2 times a week for maybe a 1/2 hour or so. I've gone back to work full-time and enjoy being out of the house. All in all, I'm doing way better than I ever thought I would be. I still take my 5mg Lamictal and plan on staying on it for several more months before I start tapering off of it. Thanks again to everyone who has supported me through this journey :-)