Mentor Happy2Heal Posted November 14, 2023 Mentor Share Posted November 14, 2023 3 minutes ago, Nypeaches89 said: I hope I will finally manage to heal this stupid trauma once and for all at some point because I’m so done. 🙏🏻 I have complete confidence that you will! in the meantime the most important thing is to be super kind and gentle with yourself one of my biggest issues was explaining some of my reactions to friends. I would have intense feelings of sadness sometimes and would cry easily. It became easier to just tell folks that someone died......it wasn't entirely untrue, I had losses during the 42 yrs I was heavily drugged that I was never able to fully grieve, so I feel that I was doing a lot of delayed greiving some was probably neuro emotions but it doesn't much matter where they come from, I think acknowledging and accepting them and letting them flow thru you is still the best way to go wishing you all the best on this journey 1 PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content PRESENT DAYS: Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorin Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 5 hours ago, Nypeaches89 said: Hi everyone , hi @Altostrata Im really full of questions in regards to this PTSD/ withdrawal thing. Here’s my story So it’s been almost already 2 years that I’m struggling with PAWS. I am getting MUCH better. But yesterday I’ve been hit by what I’d call a PTSD trigger, much like Alex responded to this thread in 2011, the « mega fear » or « mega stress » thing, I find myself very much in what he says. I was diagnosed with PTSD 1,5 year ago by my therapist while in PAWS. Subsequently she did some CBT trauma work on me and honestly I think it worked. But it came back. My big confusion is that these PTSD reactions, I think I started getting them during my PAWS, I don’t remember Having these intense reactions to silly things before that. The (small t ) trauma dates from my childhood, but the crazy over reacting and the debilitating emotional pain is since withdrawal. I guess my confusion is: do I have ptsd or did PAWS give me ptsd because it dysregulated me, made me weaker, broke something in my psyche? Have you found a lot of people finding ptsd like reactions since PAWS on this forum? Im so confused so sorry I can’t formulate things in a clearer way. I’ve had exactly the same thing happen. I didn’t get the debilitating flashbacks and emotional pain until withdrawal. At first o thought it was me. Now I’m not so sure. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 14, 2023 Author Administrator Share Posted November 14, 2023 I can't speak to PTSD. You may find these topics of interest Neuro-emotions Dealing With Emotional Spirals Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism Deep emotional pain and crying spells, spontaneous weeping This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorin Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 7 hours ago, Nypeaches89 said: Hi, I feel the same. How are you now? Hi, I’m much better actually. My emotions aren’t as overwhelming all the time. The emotional pain isn’t constantly intense. I’m back tapering and haven’t gotten that bad again so far…… crazy experience coming off these poisons. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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