DianaKaysen Introduction

[DianaKaysen]

Hi Folks!

 

I'm very grateful to have been directed to this resource by a dear friend who is similarly fed up with his dependence on psychotropics and wants to start weaning asap. I'll tell my story to start, and add to it with updates in my medication as they arise.

 

At 14 years old I was diagnosed with GAD and swiftly put on Prozac. On one hand, it saved my life because my depression and anxiety were so bad that I was acutely suicidal and I needed help fast. However, I was put on the drug without any real explanation of possible side effects, and without any attempt to identify the root of the problem, supplement my psychiatric treatment with CBT or DBT, or address my home life (the "GAD" would have been more accurately classified as PTSD/very normal reactions to living in a household with an indisputably emotionally-abusive and ambiguously sexually-abusive parent). It worked and I was functional (mostly) for about five years, when environmental stressors at college became so overwhelming that the Prozac seemed to simply stop working.

 

After a major crisis in January, I spent just under a year switching from drug to drug without any response-- we tried Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Ritalin and Concerta, and likely a few others I can't recall. By October my environmental situation had evened out and, whaddayaknow, Cymbalta took hold! It was the first drug to do anything for my crippling anxiety since the Prozac so we stuck with it and gradually increased from 40 mg to 100 mg over the course of 2 years as my tolerance increased. 

 

For the last ~2 years I've been on Cymbalta, on and off of Concerta/Vyvance for "executive functioning issues" which were half real, half exacerbated by my struggles with addiction to Ativan and marijuana. I'm almost 6 months clean from the benzos and pot, but my stupid shrink cut me off the Ativan abruptly when I told her I'd been abusing it, so I'm still in protracted withdrawal and not sleeping. I decided to cut the Vyvance on my own because I figured mixing stimulants and insomnia was probably a bad plan; my shrink said it wouldn't make a difference but it absolutely did.

 

I'm currently on 80 mg of Cymbalta and hoping to start tapering for real at the beginning of February. Now that I finally have my life back after 2+ years of addiction, I want to feel things again, and I don't when I'm on the Cymbalta. I've been medicated for a THIRD OF MY LIFE. I need to know who I really am without this diluting mystery substance flowing through my synapses.

 

If anyone has experience with tapering from an AD while still in the throws of protracted withdrawal from benzos or any other substance they were addicted to, I would definitely appreciate any advice or just hearing your stories. It's wonderful to find a community and realize you're not alone.

 

Peace, and happy holidays,

Molly

[tgirl]

Hello Molly,

I just wanted to say hello and welcome to SA!

One of the moderators should be along soon to answer your questions!

I do hope you are well!

Tgirl

[Ever]

Hi Molly - I'm so glad you found this site.   I have no experience with Benzos - just tapering from Paxil, but I wanted to say hello and that a moderator will be along before long.   This site is great.   Welcome.

[mammaP]

Hello Molly, welcome to SA.  You've had a lot of drugs in the last year or 2 and withdrawal from

benzos, so I would suggest holding a while before starting to taper the cymbalta to allow your 

nervous system to stabilise. The last thing you need is withdrawal from ADs to be thrown in too!

Your psychiatrist sounds typical and doesn't know very much, if anything about what he is doing! 

I'm sorry you went through so much when you were a child, you needed TLC and got prozac  .

 

We have a benzo withdrawal  forum if you would like to take a look there, the members there know

all too well about benzo tapering and withdrawal and can support you. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/29-members-only-benzo-tapering/

 

Our topic for tapering cymbalta when you are ready. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/283-tips-for-tapering-off-cymbalta-duloxetine/

 

It would be helpful if you can put your drug history in your signature, paritcularly the most recent changes. 

 

You will find instructions to do that here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

[Altostrata]

Welcome.

 

Is your screen name your real name? If so, you may wish to change it to protect your identity here, as it can be found via Google.

 

Send me a personal message if you want to do this.

[DianaKaysen]

Thanks all for your replies and advice. Altostrata, my screen name is a pseudonym but thank you for the concern.