Laura1981 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Akakoom, remember this is temporary! It will pass! At the moment it feels like it will never, ever pass. It feels absolutely convincing that you're right about that. But it's not right, it's the drug making you believe that. It will go away!!!! The brain takes time to heal. But it will heal. In a couple of months latest, you'll be fine. I wish you strength! Hang on! Ring the anonymous support line if needed! You can get through this! Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
akakoom Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 i only took 3 pills and its been 2 months and really nothing's changed sorry i always rant and say doom and gloom, but thats all i have. i am not taking any meds so i really have nothing else to talk about i just feel so violate, but i guess we all do i think my mind is ruined. its tough going through this alone March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 A lot of us are alone..people about us do not believe..but you have us here, who all understand. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 i appreciate all your concerns for me but as forum just doesn't make up for real human compassion, contact, and understanding. i wish there was a way some of us could meet in person, or if there was a support group in town i could go to. or maybe a meetup, but i don't have the resolve anymore to look into this or i am to ashamed to go out and create my own i have come to the conclusion that our brains cant get the ssri out of the uptake ports. our brain never had a need to do this sort of repair, so a means never evolved to do such. this chemical caused brain damage to some of the synapses and the brain wont repair those. i will never feel that happiness again i have been pill free for 2 months. i only took 3 pills. my body went through a autoimmune response to the chemical a month ago. my immune system was not able to clear my synapse. i can feel the chemicals in there. i can feel it burn i have come to the conclusion that i will never recover. even if i do and it takes me years... i am 47, single alone. i cant ride this out by myself, i will be 55 maybe. for all purposes my life ill be done. 55 is to late to find a girl and start a life its only a matter of time. i took these pills in the first place because i lost my last girlfriend and i was beyond depressed and desperate. ironically i took these pills because no girl is worth risking your health. i wanted to get out of depression. and now my brain is permanently damaged. i cant go through this much longer. my life is over. i have to accept it now. i cant live like this. this is permanent brain damage. it wont ever get better. there are parts of my brain i haven't felt anything from since i took the first pill. there is no such thing as recovery. anyone who recovered from anhedonia simply forgot who they were. if someone went through a multi-year scrip and taper, how could you know who you were after all that time has passed? there is no recovery. only forgetting. i know this is permanent. i can't take this much longer. i cry myself to sleep almost every night. what did i do to deserve this? there is no god, there are no miracles. there is no recovery, we just fool ourselves. -cam March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
btdt Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I hope that was a temporary state and your better now. Please see the self help section for things to help you get thru this it is not easy we all know that. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 theres no peace only 3 pills 2 months out nothing has changed this is brain damage there arent any supplements in the universe that are going to fix this id rather be dead hell i am dead March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Hey Akakoom, I can sooo understand your frustration, despair and horror. It's so unfair that we all have to go through this nonsense while we probably didn't need these chemicals in the first place. Did you report your adverse reaction through the official channels? The authorities need to know this is happening. Not that I believe they will do much about it, but at least we give them some paperwork. Sending you lots of strength from across the pond, Laura Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
LucaDiProspero Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I took risperdal for about 20 days and I'm in the same situation. Before risperdal I listened to Cranberries songs nearly every day...they made me happy. I literally consume their CDs. Their songs helped me when I was down and in the darkest moments of my life.Dolores O' Riordan voice was so beautiful, it relaxed me and took me to Heaven. I was obsessed (in a good way) by their songs. After risperdal all songs, and in particular Cranberries ones, became only noises...I've tried many many times during these months to listen to their songs, but they say me nothing...this fact, this horrible fact tells me that something in my brain has turned off or destroyed forever. I will not enjoy my favourite group songs anymore. March 2010/ October 2010: Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day October 2010/ 1st November 2014: Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014) Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014. Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet. Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014. Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet. I'm med free from 3rd December 2015 Link to comment
Pugknows Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 akakoom, are the three pills of paxil the only pills you've ever taken? January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 2, 2015 Author Share Posted May 2, 2015 yes. thats the only psych meds i have evertaken in my entire life March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 2, 2015 Author Share Posted May 2, 2015 @Luca im so sorry. i wish there was something i could do for us. i know what it is like to be empty inside. these meds are a crime March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 2, 2015 Author Share Posted May 2, 2015 i must have been unusually susceptible, or maybe an allergic reaction of some sort. maybe i had taken asprin or something earlier in the day, but it would have been over the counter. no alcohol, i dont smoke, no recreational drugs. i thought the paxil would feel like a sleeping pill or something, so i took it and lied down on the couch to watch tv. and yes i think i put my experience on rxisk they stole my soul March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 That's so horrible!!! I think some of us just can't handle those drugs. They don't belong in human bodies. They are foreign substances engineered to get into the brain...It's a crime what psychiatrists do to patients. @Akakoom: Rxisk isn't the official database as far as I understand. I reported to the Irish pharma regulation authority. They even responded. Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 2, 2015 Author Share Posted May 2, 2015 who do i talk to in canada? March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 2, 2015 Author Share Posted May 2, 2015 and how would it help? March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Hi Akakoom, it won't help you unfortunately, but every report of an adverse reaction contributes to the growing evidence that antidepressants are poison and don't help. At some stage they have to wake up. I found this for Canada: http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/dhp-mps/medeff/report-declaration/index-eng.php#a1 Cheers, Laura PS: Loving your new signature ;-) Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 TY Laura March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 How are you doing today? Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 absolutely no change well that's not true... every day my head feels different, changes all the time...but there has not been any recognizable improvement. hands and feet are still numb and waxy feeling anhedonia and anorgasmia boy i wish i could live in a world where these drugs never existed. i cant believe i am paying such a high price for taking a few pills. that tingle that happened in my head was a sign of my brain cells dying. this is never going to change how you feeling Laura '81? March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Still not getting better? That's so sad to hear. But it'll get there! My head also feels different all the time too. One minute it's tingling, the next it's hurting, the next I get nausea. I get nausea when I try to concentrate or move around. So basically I'm forced to do only dumb, static things. I hate it. I don't think it's brain damage. It will get there! For myself, made the theory that we somehow have a reduced ability to regenerate the neurotransmitters that got all messed up when we took the pills. I'm looking at my blood results. I have some values too high, some too low. My doc doesn't seem to be concerned about it, but maybe it impacts my ability to regenerate. Did you get your blood tests done Akakoom? I think vitamin B12, B6, Folate, Homocysteine and Iron would be things to look at. They are all involved in making neurotransmitters. If one is too low, maybe that would slow down the healing process. Like you, I'm so pissed off I ever took those pills. I can't believe I got myself to think taking pills would get me through a stressful phase. What world do we live in where this c**p is legal... Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 Hi Laura, You can call me Cam. i had blood work done before i took the pills for cholesterol, and things were normal. don't know if the blood test would have looked for the things we would need to look for to recover from these meds tho. i don't put a lot of stock in supplements. just eat well. and eating well is more fun than popping pills anyway! have you ever considered a genetic test? there might be markers that show how well our bodies can clear the meds. but i guess we all have real world proof of that the hard way -Cam March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Hey Cam, not sure what they typically look for. I asked them for B12 and Folic Acid and Ferritin (I'm spectacularly low). I forgot homocysteine. I'm a bit crazy about doing my own research and coming up with theories of why we are recovering so slowly. I blame the obsessiveness on the ADs. They made me a obsessive ever since I stopped them. It was way worse in the beginning, but now it's getting better. At least I'm learning a lot about neurobiology ;-) So far I haven't really figured anything out that got me any further. Vit B6 and B12 helped me temporarily. The Vit B6 seems to have gotten my muscle twitches and head explosions under control. Regarding genetic tests: I'd love to have some hard fact that I can point to and say "look, that caused it"! There's a number of people saying they are having a genetic defect called MTHFR. That might be somehow related. I'll ask my doc if he can test me. survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5547-the-importance-of-mthfr-methylation-and-b-vitamins/ I totally agree with eating well! So much better than pills. Just had some fresh bread from the breadmaker. Yummy! Cheers, Laura Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 just had a big argument with my brother about psych meds. i tried to explain the risks and show him some of breggin's videos. he was stubborn and insisted that they are meds and that chemical imbalance is a real thing in psych issues. now i am not going to bother explaining to him about my ssri bad reaction i am going through. he is wondering why i am sitting around the house. he doesn't understand why i am moping. i cant start my life until i get some emotions. he would never understand. he even suggested i need more meds. i will never do that. don't worry. this is so heartbreaking. i only took 3 pills and this could cost me so much. isn't fair!! how much time am i going to lose!?!?!?!? this has to be brain damage. how else could 3 pills be doing this much for so long!! F! ME! March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 i wont get better. ill just forget who i was i will never feel arousal again, or be able to perform. i cant believe this is happening. wake me up from this nightmare!! March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Hi Cam I'm sorry about the lack of emotions. I think maybe 2 months is too early for recovery, but it should come your way. Don't despair and don't think it's brain damage. You have no way of knowing that. My guess is that meds temporarily disturbed something in our brains which will get fixed with time and recovery. But it may take a lot of time. We have to be patient. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Hey Cam, so sorry to hear you're still not improving. But it will get there! I've read a study somewhere saying that Fluoxetine alters the oxiytocine levels in rats up to 3 months after taking it. So probably it has similar effects on humans. It will get better!!!! Don't be too mad with your brother. Someone who hasn't been where we are has no way of imagining it's even possible that an approved medication can do what it did to us. They can't even imagine how it feels to begin with. I learned from dealing with doctors that your best shot at making someone believe you is staying very calm and explaining. The moment you get upset you have lost. I needed to learn this by going though a bunch of doctors. Now I have a good one who at least semi-believes me. Even my boyfriend who witnessed me going from a stressed but strong and self confident person to a complete wreck in a matter of two days somehow still thinks it's just anxiety and the meds can't cause this. It gives me rage that nobody understands. But how can they? Sending you a hug! Laura Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 thanks blue86. i hope you are right. i cant wait to get better. i cant find any support in my family. it makes it so much harder. you are very strong, blue86. i hope i can be that strong too there are parts of my brain that have been dormant since i took the pills. that scares me the most March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 hi laura, you are right, being calm will help my argument more. getting emotional makes you just look crazy. its a catch 22. us "crazy" people cant win... March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 <3 there are good friends on this site. thanks for your caring. i hope you all find healing for your kindness March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I know how upset you are for wasting time while waiting for healing - so am I, but I think stressing ourselves only makes things worse and doesn't help recovery at all. We need to accept this is the situation we're in now, even though we hate it and even though it's so unfair that it happened to us. The important thing is to recover, even if it takes a lot of time. There was a thread I read yesterday, but I can't remember the person's username. He had the same symptoms as you and is now improving dramatically. He enjoys music again and his emotions are starting to come back. This will happen for you too. It will just take some time. Sit tight and let this thing run its course even though you hate it. We have to get through it, as there is no other way forward. I have absolutely no doubts that you will recover and this won't be permanent. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Admins... I think i would like to change the title of my intro thread Akakoom: Greetings to Akakoom: Lost in No-Man's-Land March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 thanks blue... your optimism is inspiring (hug) March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I believe in you and know that you will heal and please - believe in yourself! It's going to be very difficult, but it will happen. And that's the most important thing. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
akakoom Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 every day feels different. but there's never any improvement March 5, 6 2015 1 10mg Paxil each day - only 2 pills total - experienced huge tingle in my head on first pill numbness in my hands and feet, skin less sensitive over all... not ticklish anymore **anhedonia, blank emotions PSSD, anorgasmia heartbeat rhythm problems "To err is human. To really foul things up requires a psychiatrist." http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8554-akakoom-lost-in-no-mans-land/ "When you are going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill (the only way out is through) Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 It might take some time. 2 months is too early to see improvements in "withdrawal land". Hang in there and don't despair. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Hey, just checking in and sending good vibes. I had a sh** day, I hope yours was better. Did you do anything? I HAVE to get out and do something tomorrow, despite all depression, headaches, chest pains... kick me if I don't ;-) Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
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