clarabella79 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Hi Orangecat Just wanted to say that you're doing so well in spite of how horrendous the withdrawal's made you feel over the last few months. 50mg to 30mg in 4 months is no mean feat! One of my friends has been trying to reduce this drug and had such a bad time that he's had to go back to his original dose to restabilise for a while (he was on a higher dose than you - 100mg - and halved it to 50mg, then 25mg and was told by his GP - an older guy - that there was no withdrawal syndrome with this drug!). How're you feeling today? I see you're round about day 7 of a dose drop. 1st Sep '14 - reduced to 18mg from 20mg; 15th Sep - 17mg; 29th Sep -16mg; 21st Oct - 15mg; 10th Nov - 13.5mg; 1st Dec - 13mg; 11th Dec - 12.5mg; 5th Jan '15 - 12mg; 20th Jan - 11.5mg; 11th Feb - 11mg; 26th Feb - 10.5mg; 5th Mar - 10mg; 1st Apr - 9mg; 29th Apr - 8.5mg; 29th May - 8mg; 18th Jun - 7.7mg; 9th July - 7.4mg; 11th Aug - 6.8mg; 2nd Sep - 6.5mg; 12th Sep - 6.3mg; 26th Sep - 6mg; 10th Oct - 5.7mg; 30th Oct - 5.3mg; 28th Nov - 4.8mg; 20th Dec - 4.4mg. Medication History: January 1997: 20mg Paroxetine (Seroxat) daily for depression with anxiety. CT withdrawal attempted 1997 and 1999. Dividing pills withdrawal attempted 2002. Liquid/pill 13 month tapered withdrawal 2007/8. Started to become very ill days after CTing at 2mg. Prescribed other antidepressants (Citalopram, Mirtazipine) but neither were as effective and had more side effects, so Paroxetine 20mg reinstated June 2008. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 Hi Bella! Thanks for the note! I think I've settled into a rhythm with the drops, and I can say (hoping I don't jinx myself) that my symptoms are getting much less as I cut by 5% every two weeks now. I'm at 30 mg, and can't believe how good I feel. That makes me hopeful that I will be okay off of the medicine. Sorry your friend had this experience. I had the same advice from my doc, a psychiatrist, who was simply instructing me as she had been taught to do. She's learned that it's not the best advice in part from my experience. Jumping from 25 to 0 would be impossible for me. Jumping from 25 to 12.5 was impossible! The delay in getting pregnant is a bummer, since I get anxious about how this will affect my fertility, and if it means I might just have one kid, not two. I know lots of women have children even up to age 40, but it's a fear nevertheless. Still the delay works well for where my husband and I are in our lives at the moment. It will be nice to have another year of stasis. I'm nervous about the lower doses, since people say they get harder than the cuts at the start of the process. But I'll just take my time. I've learned some good ways to take care of myself through this process. That's the silver lining. Good luck to you! I'm a fan!! Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 Grumble grumble, here I am again on day five after another taper- reduced by 5% on Monday. Sinus pressure, fatigue, emotional reverberation, depressed somewhat by life events outside of my control that have occurred recently. Thankfully I am not going on an excursion with my husband today, just went for acupuncture, hung in a bookstore, and now on the island of my bed with the radio, cat, and a light read. It's hard not to be blindly surfing the web or watching tv, or otherwise doing more numbing activities. I'm avoiding my painful addictions. That feels good in itself. Knock on wood I don't succumb before the day is over! Trying to feel good about today instead of being unhappy I didn't do any work, or exercise, etc. My tapering symptoms, outside of the one day like this that occurs, are very manageable!! I am so extremely pleased by this. I think my light therapy and magnesium habit have helped with the sleep issues I had earlier on, and lowering the taper to 5%, while a pita, is key to making this tapering process possible. Along with support from this forum. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 Feeling frustrated for the first time in a long while. Things have been going so well for months, but now I'm feeling depressed as the winter weather creeps up, combined with a terrible loss in my friend's family and my sister's new baby (yeah, you think that would be a joy but thanks to my dysfunctional family, it mostly makes me feel like doodoo!). I have always had a hard time in my past attempts at tapering once I got below 30. Currently at 28.5 as of 10/19. I've never been this careful about tapering though. I worry that the feelings I'm experiencing are just "me", and that this is my recurrent depression. Slightly suspicious of this since my sinuses are a bit stopped up too. It's hopefully just catch up on the taper. I know I've been quite brisk with my pace, and life has been challenging recently. It's hard to stay steady when I see my doc gets worried, although she is 100% supportive of me. So I'll sit out a week rather than drop again on Tuesday, which would be my next scheduled drop. Which leads me into one of the things that recently has been causing me worry: I just did the math and see my taper is due to take me almost into 2018 if done at the current pace, 5% every two weeks. I think I'd like to start trying for kids much earlier than that- like summer of 2017! My friend recently told me about having to go the IVF route. I know it's irrational for me to be fearful that this delay will cost me later on for child number two, fertility wise. So many women have good luck with this and my friend is having real problems, now, at 37, while I'm just shy of 33!! It's just so frustrating to feel alone in this journey in the day to day, not sharing it with anyone but my husband and one sister, and said friend, who is focussed on her challenges mostly. And my doc, who I suspect finds it hard to watch as this experience of the slow taper is new and unfamiliar to her. Any words of wisdom? I can't express how important this forum has been to me. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 1, 2015 Administrator Share Posted November 1, 2015 You have some life stressors that may be affecting your mood. Plus, you might find light therapy helps in the winter. Given this is going on, you might want to hold for a bit at 28.5mg. Don't worry about the calendar. Listen to your body. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus peggy Posted November 1, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 1, 2015 hi orange cat - yes, listen to your body, not the calendar. The alternative is to go too fast and have to updose and loose all the ground you have gained. (I am the perfect example of this) Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months laterBack on effexor for another 9 months.Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.Back on effexor - this time for 3 yearsReduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorterJan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years.... 4th March 2015 - 67.5mg; 31st March - 60mg; 24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg; 9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg; 1st Dec - 25.8mg; 28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg Link to comment
Orangecat Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 Hi Alto and Peggy, thanks so much for the words. It's good to have your support and advice. I'm definitely taking this week off, and will see how I feel next week. Appreciate your listening to my tantrum above ; ). I guess I'm lucky I've found a system that leaves me with minimal symptoms when I taper. I am bummed at how long it will take. I think I will probably end up trying for a kid while still on a low dose of medicine. I miswrote above; I'm hoping to start giving kids a shot by fall of 2016-ish. Anyway, not much I can do about all this, and I think taking things slow here is crucial. Alto, I've been doing light therapy for a while, since I always feel worse on the dark months. I never did it as regularly as I'm trying to now. I might need to do this even more though. I get 20-30 min light therapy every morning, and wake up with a light alarm clock... Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 Still holding at 28.5. Might just hold all winter! I'm very up and down in mood since days have gotten shorter. I do 20m of light therapy each morning and have recently tried walking more, for short or long distances, both to get sun and exercise, which I've been lacking. When I don't have structure to my day, I struggle not to fall into soothing habits. Is this just me?? I don't know if I could take it like this all the time, if so. Hopefully it's temporary and related to my brain adjusting. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted November 13, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 13, 2015 Hey O-Cat! Is that Calamity? I used to have this photo as my FB profile pic. LOVE Calamity Jane, want to read more real history about her! "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
Orangecat Posted November 16, 2015 Author Share Posted November 16, 2015 Hi Calamity!! I've never seen the pic you included of Jane- is it really her?! Wow! Went to see her grave site in Deadwood, SD this summer, where she rests beside Wild Bill on a steep hillside. Such an incredible place! You must go. There was lots of good literature on her out there, that's for sure. We are fans of the TV show "Deadwood". However, this is Annie Oakley!! Love her too. She was no slouch! And I find that inspiring. Carry on the good work! Thanks for chiming in and sharing that incredible picture. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 Went down from ca. 29 to 28 mg on Wednesday. Now, Sunday, feeling fatigued and feverish, also stopped up in my sinuses. These symptoms are familiar by now. I'm impressed I'm able to do this with winter in full swing! So far so good. I had a tough time a few weeks back but after holding around 29/28.5 I feel fairly confident this reduction will go okay. Still it's always a bummer doing this!! Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted December 3, 2015 Author Share Posted December 3, 2015 Have had a few good days and a few wonky days while travelling on vacation, and now back to my down days post another drop in dosage. Went to 27 on Monday evening. To be specific- once again waking early, anxious, ruminating, feeling I'm a complete failure, avoiding my art studio (this has been the case for eons it seems, since the early spring), wanting to avoid social contact, wanting only to curl up in bed, preferably while watching a fluffy TV show, forever. In reality I make myself stay away from home, camping out in coffee shops, trying to walk short distances, trying to keep by a sunny window. I did some light therapy yesterday and of course a bulb on my lamp flickered out at the end of it. After a week of traveling I'm way off schedule with light, walking, and acupuncture. Wanting to "spoil myself" still by not jumping back into a really ambitious self care routine, but easing back in. Of course house responsibilities although small still seem huge and keep me busy even though I'm on vacation. The smallest actions feel unbearable. Seeing therapist and acupuncturist tomorrow. Was not helpful that another neice was born last week, or that my parents repeatedly let me down. I've starting sticking up for myself more and expecting less from this family after many therapy revelations. But still, they manage to let me down. The highs and lows of this prolonged taper are brutal, but seems necessary from all I read. I do fantasize about making larger leaps and just putting up with more pain, but having it all be over with, but I won't do that. In fact, I think I'm luckier than many. I do feel very alone in the "real world". I do get angry that depression and now medicine for depression have stymied me for years, and I can't fully share this with my family. I am less angered and more disappointed and resigned about my parents, who very neatly set me up for all of this with legitimately neglectful and out to lunch parenting (and they still do it). I am grateful for my husband, and for sunny days, acupuncture, coffee shops, this forum, classical music, animals, gift giving, book club, and hot showers. These things literally keep me going. Can't wait til our dripping bathtub gets fixed, as baths are even better. The last two days have been cloudy and that's no good. Will I have the patience to keep this up for almost two more years?? I can't imagine that honestly. Read Nadia's incredible story today and eager for my own end to withdrawal. Have to be patient. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 A long walk in the sun the following day, catching up with my therapist and acupuncture gave me a boost and lead to a couple good nights of sleep. I am moving things in the right direction and learned a lot from my recent down spell about what I need to do to change things and make life easier for myself. I'm not taking enough care of myself, actually, and for some reason a recent CBT exercise I did in a book I've been using, Children of the Self Absorbed, helped me get perspective on that. Taking steps forward slowly and feeling optimistic. Proud of myself for pulling through another blah post taper cluster of days. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
ChanceLucky Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Wow, sounds like you hit a rough spot on 12/3 but have bounced back well. Your tapering sounds brutal. Sorry you're going through this. I don't really have a lot to say but wanted you to know I was still reading and hope you have a great December! -I was on an SSRI (most recently Celexa at 40mg/day) for about 15 years for anxiety. I tapered off over about 8 months and in 2015 and had worsened anxiety and well-being once off it. In the fall of 2015 (I believe) I did a low dose reinstatement and was doing better. I stayed on roughly 1 ml (2 mg) for a while but eventually lowered it to .5 ml and was on this for a long time. -Around late mid May (2017) my anxiety was worse and I increased the Celexa to 1.5 ml. At first, I felt significantly better but I developed a hand tremor. I also was having some attention and concentration difficulties. In mid July (over about 2 weeks) I tapered off of the Celexa and was off it for about 2 1/2 weeks before I started to feel an intense increase in anxiety and my hand tremor returned. -Aug 13, 2017 I did a low dose reinstatement of 0.5 ml a day and am currently still taking that. Initial response is good. -Early September 2017 to present - hand tremor returns and attention and concentration are impaired. Feeling of unbalance/unsteadiness from using treadmill. Mild changes to sexual performance too. -Sept 18, 2017: 0.4 ml Celexa. Everything is generally improving although hand tremor is worse. Attention, concentration, and anxiety are good. -I am also on Wellbutrin (200 mg/day) for anxiety and take a Benadryl at night for sleep and allergies. Eventually I'd like to be off everything. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9730-chancelucky-antidepressant-withdrawal-social-anxiety-pessimism/ Link to comment
Orangecat Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 Hi Chance!! Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate the company. I think I complain on here more than I describe the good days- there are definitely many more good days than bad! I mostly just have a few crummy days every two week span that I drop. Those are always the times when I feel like it's never going to end and I come here to convince myself otherwise! I suppose it has been tough on those days, but honestly I'm functioning well for the most part. I've picked up on a lot of good habits to take care of myself. I still would like to walk more- so excited for you that you're walking two miles that frequently! But I love acupuncture, light therapy, walks, and I'm keeping up with work just fine. So all in all not bad. I've even had some days that feel totally exhilarating!! But of course if you ask me how I am four days after a measly taper, I'll moan and groan. And yes, these medicines are bad news. Hang in there!! I'm glad to hear about your walks with the dog. Dogs are such good companions. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
ChanceLucky Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 That's good news! I'm glad to hear you're doing pretty well. Yeah, sometimes I come on here when I'm doing worse too. I guess those are times I need the support and it sounds like you come here when you need the support too. I'm happy to read your post - I didn't realize you were doing that well overall. -I was on an SSRI (most recently Celexa at 40mg/day) for about 15 years for anxiety. I tapered off over about 8 months and in 2015 and had worsened anxiety and well-being once off it. In the fall of 2015 (I believe) I did a low dose reinstatement and was doing better. I stayed on roughly 1 ml (2 mg) for a while but eventually lowered it to .5 ml and was on this for a long time. -Around late mid May (2017) my anxiety was worse and I increased the Celexa to 1.5 ml. At first, I felt significantly better but I developed a hand tremor. I also was having some attention and concentration difficulties. In mid July (over about 2 weeks) I tapered off of the Celexa and was off it for about 2 1/2 weeks before I started to feel an intense increase in anxiety and my hand tremor returned. -Aug 13, 2017 I did a low dose reinstatement of 0.5 ml a day and am currently still taking that. Initial response is good. -Early September 2017 to present - hand tremor returns and attention and concentration are impaired. Feeling of unbalance/unsteadiness from using treadmill. Mild changes to sexual performance too. -Sept 18, 2017: 0.4 ml Celexa. Everything is generally improving although hand tremor is worse. Attention, concentration, and anxiety are good. -I am also on Wellbutrin (200 mg/day) for anxiety and take a Benadryl at night for sleep and allergies. Eventually I'd like to be off everything. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9730-chancelucky-antidepressant-withdrawal-social-anxiety-pessimism/ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted December 21, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 21, 2015 Hey AnnieOakley the OrangeCat- Do your two children have to come from your body? How about adopting one - start proceedings now - and then, continue your slow taper in preparation for pregnancy? I am an adoptee, and grateful for it. My Mom always told me how I was chosen, wanted, loved. I was told about my adoption from very young, as that was the fashion of the time. Now, there are open adoptions, where the child can get to know his/her genetic family. I don't know what that would be like - I met my genetic family when I was 35 (and then, I knew how lucky I was). Please consider adoption - that would take some of the pressure off of you, and off your body. Plus - I believe that pregnancy causes certain nutritional deficiencies, and one might be enough for you. You've heard of post partum depression? I believe that is largely caused by the nutritional drain on magnesium & protein aminos of bearing a child. I'm not a doctor, I have no proof - but after hearing again and again how "after the baby I got so depressed," it is the way I'm thinking about it. If you have access to Kelly Brogan, this is her specialty, and she would guide you through it. But not everyone gets access to her! (but you could, at least, check her blog and website! http://kellybroganmd.com/ Remember (I know you are going slow, and listening to your body) that the symptoms you feel after this taper, may be from a taper 2-3 months ago. In your case, because you're doing micro drops, it's less likely to be from longer than that. But they can accumulate, and sneak up on you - so good onya for holding. I would love to get hubby to South Dakota, Montana, Colorado, Tennessee, Virginia, New Hampshire, Maine - but for now, our trips to the US are focused on two things: the rock band YES, and my Moms. Hopefully I'll still be able to travel when we are more free to choose our destinations...at least we got some good time in Arizona a few years back. Love, Calamity Jan "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
Orangecat Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Hi Jane!! Thanks for the ever so thoughtful message. I'm in the middle of a last minute Christmas present, so can't type now, but I popped in to say I'm having a wonderful window of a day. I'll think about what you've written- you know, it's not a bad idea to consider adopting. I might have some more questions for you in a bit on this! I loved your point about tapering issues being sometimes 2-3 months old. I know from this site that that's a possibility, but never put two and two together to consider how that might be playing out for me! I do know my windows have gotten a lot easier recently. Perhaps the micro taper is really starting to kick in! Wishing you a blessed Christmas. Off to research FUN now! Annie the Orange Cat Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 I just had my Mitena IUD removed Jan 25 after six years.... I feel INCREDIBLE! It's only been around two weeks but this is a noticeable difference. Wow. I'd read Wingbatty's post on her experience months ago but never put two and two together. No more hormonal birth control for me if I can help it. There are other options that are not hormonal. Man, can't believe the Mirena caused me emotional trouble, but it surely did. I just tried a taper of 10% after a very long hold, and I have not felt any symptoms of the decrease yet, five days later... This is not typical for me. I'll keep everyone posted but this is quite hopeful. Major window here! Christmas vacation ground me down big time, with travel, time changes, family drama and loss of light as well as not taking the usual fish oil and magnesium (terrible idea!). I held until early Feb at 25.8 mg. Light therapy and mag and fish oil as well as sleep boosted my mood. I'm also making progress in family issues in therapy. And then...got the IUD out. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted February 25, 2016 Author Share Posted February 25, 2016 More of the same. Since I got my IUD out, I feel like a different version of me. More buoyant, more energy, happier. Thank you lord!! My early Feb taper of around 7% went so well, after two weeks I decided to taper more. On 2/15 I reduced dose from 24 to 20. This is by far my largest successful taper. Once again, minimal side effects. Exactly seven days later I had an hour's worth of slight brain fog and headache, and I took a mag pill (100 mg) and it went away. The previous night I had had some congestion and early morning restlessness. I probably slept not as soundly as normal for three nights, but by no means was the experience as horrible as my earlier cortisol mornings, when I would ruminate and stew in bed as the light grew outside. What the heck happened since this hormonal birth control is out?? I have also been religious about my light therapy, a Carex Daylight that I now spend 15 m to an hour in front of each morning. And I'm still going to acupuncture once or twice a week, which is hugely relaxing. Religiously taking Barleans fish oil and 400 mg magnesium a night via Natural Calm. About a month ago I realized I felt better taking the Natural Calm without any other supplements or food- my friend at the natural supplements store said this is because magnesium can bind to other things if taken together with them. I don't do that anymore. I also use my sleep mask, and I recently started taking a B complex from food sources by MegaFood. I notice feeling hyped up in the morning (not unpleasant) and perhaps more clearheadedness in the pm. I am altogether much less fatigued than I was earlier this year. My career has finally gotten easier, in part as a result. I have an easier time getting to my studio and enjoying the uncertainty and playfulness of painting. Just wow. Hope this stays this way- but I'm ready for bumps in the road. And I am confident that this change is a very real one. In fact, I had no idea my Mirena might have affected so many aspects of my mood. Like most women, I didn't unserstand hormones, cycles, and the implications of hormonal birth control. Big Pharma disappoints again. Taking Charge of Your Fertiity and Kindara have been a revelation. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 After my last reduction I only felt one morning of headache, brain fog, and stuffy sinus. Two mornings of early wake up/restless sleep. I waited until 3/2, when I reduced again, from 20 mg to 16 mg. No signs of withdrawal so far. We will see what happens. Mood continues to be excellent, and I remain very consistent about my supplements, diet, and light therapy. . Happy and grateful. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 Yep, there's that withdrawal I knew I'd get. Not as bad as my worst days early on in this process, but not insubstantial either. Five days into the taper I had morning anxiety and a fuzzy, stuffy headed feeling. I took 100 mg magnesium and say under my light, and got relief fairly quickly. Today (a week in), I've got morning anxiety again and fuzzy stuffy head again. I had post nasal drip last night. This might be a cold I caught from work, which a coworker had, as post nasal drip is a first for me with ssri withdrawal. But the anxiety and hot headed feeling is for sure withdrawal. Took a magnesium and headed to sit in the sun and be calm this morning for a bit. Despite everything I still feel more bouyant and happy that I did in prior withdrawals. I feel motivated to get out of my house and to my studio, although I'm reigning it in a bit so I don't drive myself too hard. I still feel the buoyancy of my own hormones as opposed to the artificial situation of my IUD. It all pretty amazing given my (unadvisable, I am aware) 20% taper. Strangely I have had no cortisol morning wake ups! I sleep with my sleep mask quite soundly. This helps for certain. Now that I've found 20% is bearable but uncomfortable and 10% is a cakewalk, assuming that my symptoms show up mostly in the two weeks after a cut, as they have in the past, I will keep cutting every two weeks or so but try to stay at 10% or 15% at most. The rush is because it is time for me to be off this medicine and try for a baby- and because it's spring, when my SAD is no longer an issue, and because I'm feeling so good recently after removal of the Mirena. . I have learned an incredible amount about regulating my health and moods from this process, and I believe I can get off the medicine entirely by sometime in the mid of late spring. To be honest, if I have to have a few tough withdrawals like this one (although this is nowhere near my withdrawals on the IUD) I'm willing to do that a few times, holding to make sure they are over. It's just...time. Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
Orangecat Posted March 12, 2016 Author Share Posted March 12, 2016 A week and a half out from my last taper, I'm having another day that seems to be ssri withdrawal influenced. Could be reverberation from my taper ca a month ago? Anxious, slept poorly last night, and stuffed up. Still, I feel motivated to get to my studio and get to work. I will work and then take a break early I hope. This has been a tough cut because of its unpredictability, but still not as bad as most! Found this site for real in 2015. Decided to taper slowly. ** I should mention that anytime I haven't been in a wave, I've felt pretty amazing! I only record the waves to look for patterns : ))** 50 mg Zoloft 6/2015, with intermittent fish oil 6/9/15 alternated 50 mg/37.5 mg - doc's idea (she meant well) 6/17 terrible morning anxiety and rumination, flu symptoms, and prickles in legs. 6/18 up to 45 mg liquid Zoloft. 6/26-29 cortisol mornings and bad anxiety. 6/30 started to take mag 100 mg and fish oil regularly with med 7/4 44 mg. 7/8 42.6 mg. 7/16 40 mg. 7/23 39 mg 8/1 32 mg (bad idea). 8/5 fatigue, anxiety, can't sleep, depressed. 8/7 36 mg resolved to be patient and try to keep to THE THREE KIS's. 8/13-15; 8/17- 23 painful physical and mental wave. Started light therapy 20 m in am. 8/25 34 mg, added 80-100 mg liquid mag during day. great window til 8/29 2 day down stretch 9/8 32.8 mg 9/11-14 wave added acupuncture 9/22 31.5 mg teeny wave 10/6 30 mg small grumpy wave 10/19 28.5, same pattern- small wave at day 5. A few tough weeks. Held around 29 until 11/18 when dropped to 28 mg; 11/22 the usual fluey fatigue. 11/30 27 mg 12/14 25.75ish mg "hold til Xmas club" (in my case New Years) Xmas was tough, kept holding: by 1/15, feeling good again. 1/25/16 Mirena IUD out after nearly six years- I think it was affecting my mood and taper- feeling super great! 2/2 down to 24 mg. symptoms much less severe. One day, not too bad wave on 2/8. 2/15 down to 20 mg from 24. A week later, two restless mornings and one morning of brain fog. 3/2 from 20 to 16 mg! Wish me luck. Medicine History: Currently tapering from 50mg Zoloft. Ten years of SSRI's including Celexa, Prozac and Zoloft, as well as a stretch with Wellbutrin added to the Zoloft. When I started on Zoloft (4 years ago?) I was on 100 but was able to taper down to 50 via 25 mg increments slowly around 2013. Have used light therapy and fish oil intermittently since around 2013. Have tried unsuccessfully to get off the meds since then in what I know now to be too large a taper (for example, jumped from 25 to 12.5 and that did not work). Motivated to do this slowly because that's the only way it will happen. Link to comment
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