rarecargo Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Depression and "rebellion" as an adolescent. Lead to my first experience with anti depressants at 14! I have been on and off different psychiatric meds since. Except for the 7 years. When I was either pregnant or nursing. Which were honestly the best years of my life. Psychotropic medication was normal in my household. Mom was bipolar but very high functioning. As a matter of fact, I believe she "managed" her disease with work through her 40's. Yes, I was rebellious and my Mom was mentally ill. We had an awesome family. And we loved and supported one another. Two months before Mom's 50th birthday. She had a sudden severe heart attack which required quadruple bypass. After several years trying to go back to "normal". In 2003 she had to go on disability. Things went down from there. Visits to our local mental health facility for med changes became necessary. Becoming more frequent as time went on. At one point she was taking as many as 32 different meds a day. Depressions got worse and mania's more pronounced. During this time, I developed an addiction to prescription pain meds. In Sept. 2006 I got clean with the help of my Mom. As I got better, she seemed to get worse. On Oct. 9th 2007 after getting off work and picking up the kids from school. Mom wouldn't answer the phone. I knew something wasn't right! She'd only been home a week from the "hospital". Where they had changed her meds, again. As I drove I explained to the kids. I was only running in for a minute and it would be best for them to stay in the car.... "We needed to get home". Normally this would be the point where I would hear a bunch of but Mommmm..... They said, nothing they were obviously aware of my energy. And were quiet instead of the protest I'd normally hear. As I opened the front door, she was laying there..... I slammed the door back. HOPING she was...... playing a joke...knowing she wasn't. She'd taken a massive overdose between 450-500 pills.... Opening the door.....I knew my life was changing FOREVER. Right in front of my eyes. Paramedic's came and went......the neighbor was there...the police... The village was apparently alerted by my screaming and wailing and came to see what was going on. Finally Daddy arrived... Even though it had only been 10 minutes it seemed like forever. By that point the majority of the village had come to see. The next few days are a blur. Bits and pieces of the days and the months following are there and I remember them at dIfferent times. Not always the best timing....... I've been able to enjoy moments of happiness here and there, since. Never feeling ALIVE AND EXCITED. I still grieve daily and some weeks are worse than other. Having at least one disturbing nightmare a week. I've isolated myself big time and have no idea how to change that? Along with a change in marital status..... so much more has occurred. I've been in a state of adrenal exhaustion for years. And currently have a b12 deficiency with an undiagnosed auto-immune disorder. Being self-employed and I guess being too successful puts me and my husband in the proverbial donut hole. As far as obtaining healthcare. It's a complete crap-shoot knowing if it will be beneficial or not. I am currently on a cocktail of Cymbalta, Adder-all XR, Klonopin and Subutex. I want to be free of these meds and feel clear again. My sequential thought is gone. I can't focus on anything. My PC is an Osteopath and completely supportive of being med-free. WHERE DO I START THOUGH???? With the traumatic grief/PTSD.... I'm afraid coming off meds will bring up more, than I can handle. Who can help me??? I feel so lost and alone???????????????????? ANY suggestions are WELCOME and APPRECIATED. I feel like I can't handle things much longer!!! PLEASE your support means a lot Link to comment
Frustrated Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I also have past trauma, low b12 and some kind of auto immune disorder going on. I am presently seeing a naturopath to try to dicipher what exactly is going on with me and causing alot of horrid symptoms. I am so sorry you have been through all that you have. I would just like to tell you that you can be med free. The mods will be around to give you more specific advice on how to go about it but it can be done. The very best of luck to you. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
rarecargo Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Thank you, I need the support and assurance. That there is a way out...... Please let's keep in touch!!!! Link to comment
Frustrated Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Will do. Visit my thread any time. Wishing you peace and wellness. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted July 23, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 23, 2015 Welcome to the forum rarecargo, I'm sorry to hear about everything you have been through. Thank you for sharing your story. Its good you found us before trying to come off your medications, you will find a lot of good information here to help you do that safely. Probably the best way I can help at this point is to list links to the information you need to read. Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first? Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Tips for tapering off Adderall - Surviving AntidepressantsTips for tapering off Cymbalta (duloxetine) Klonopin and Subutex will also need to be carefully tapered one at a time. Please put ALL the drugs you take in the drugs.com Drug Interactions Checker at: Drug Interactions Checker You may post the results here in your thread. It would be great if you would put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature. Doing this helps people understand your context, it appears below each of your posts. Here are instructions for how to do it: http://survivinganti...your-signature/ You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want. Take your time, there is a lot of information here. You can get off all these drugs if you do it the right way and we will be here to support you. Petunia. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted July 23, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 23, 2015 Hi rarecargo , welcome to the site. Alot has gone on , but you'll find help here to get you through the medication tapering. Perhaps you can start by filling in your signature as best you can , with the meds and dosages you are currently taking. This site recommends tapering one drug at a time , with 10% reductions , so this is a lengthy undertaking. Try reading the following topics: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2207-taking-multiple-psych-drugs-which-drug-to-taper-first/ http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/ http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/ Best wishes , Fresh (just realized I was typing while Petunia posted ) 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
rarecargo Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I will fill in my med history tomorrow. Should I list ALL meds or just current meds. This is the first time that coming off meds (besides opiates of course') was a true issue. In the past I just tapered off Prozac. Easy..... I went through an anesthesia assisted detox from Methadone. Stupidly thinking a clinic was trying to help me. When I went through the assisted detox. My Mom was my "care taker". I was honestly unaware of Subutex and it's reputation till I'd been taking it for over a year. I'd tapered down to just 2mg Subutex and 5mg Adderall XR, whenMom took her life. Since I've gone on Cymbalta, Klonopin and raised my Adderall XR recently I've been able to lower very easy (little to no side effects) If anyone knows of any clinics, treatment centers/wellness centers, that offer trauma care along with medication alternatives. I would love to hear of some alternatives. My body mind and spirit all need healing!!!!! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted July 23, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 23, 2015 When filling out your signature what is most helpful is a brief summary of all medications ever taken, including approximate years, but a more detailed history, including dates and dosages of all current drugs, including any recent or present tapering attempts. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 23, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 23, 2015 Welcome, rarecargo. To save on space in your signature, the last few years would be fine. The drug cocktail you're taking could very well be contributing to your emotional anesthesia. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now