CaptainJackSparrow

November 29, 2015

Saturday, November 28, 2015, 9:43PM.

Hello, I have just recently registered for this website and what appears to be a peer support place. I am now around early adulthood and have been on and off, albeit more on than off, medications for the past 10 years. I have also been a drug consumer. Actually my first psychotic break from reality happened after a drug experience. Since then, I was in and out of psychiatric institutions with diagnosis's ranging from manic depression but more popularly schizophrenia, paranoid schizophrenia, and the latest schizoaffective. Whether drug consumption came first of mental health problems propagated first is a question I may never know. Regardless, though, there is a very strong possibility I had damaged my brain through my liberal hard drug use. Think buying off the street from people you don't know. Anyway, I had become very depressed. The depression was self-medicated through alcohol and drugs until I continued to get belligerently psychotic and once again landed in a psychiatric facility. Looking back I think I was dealing with a lot of internal pain which I probably was unable or unwilling to process myself. 10 years of therapy later, I now know a lot more about myself. The past several years (2 or 3) I have been really looking for answers. I started certain routines into my life to feel better about myself. I found out I have a passion for writing. I am also willingly trying to pursue my dreams. With this new found strength, I had decided to start going off the psych-meds. I went off the Seroquel after being on a relatively low dose of antipsychotics for years first. I was really nervous about it, especially from what other people said. I just couldn't believe that after all the progress I made on myself, I would become delusional by getting off them. What I have found was interesting. I still get "magical thinking" sometimes, but I am learning to just deal with it myself. Also sometimes I get outlandish thoughts which I am more easily able to reject mostly I think from growing up and probably some therapy. The antidepressants however were at a high dose for a long time, and i greatly underestimated them. I was at 50 mg of Zoloft because I was in a desperation to get off as soon as possible, but am now at 75 and may even go up a little more as I may have gotten off them too fast. Anyhow, I am getting tired of writing and need to do something else!

November 29, 2015

Hi Capt Jack

Welcome to SA. All new members are asked to put their withdrawal history in their signature to better enable members and staff to offer suggestions. How to do this: Withdrawal History in Signature

Someone with more knowledge and experience should be along soon. I suggest you don't take anything more/less until they have responded to your situation.

I'm listing some links which you can be reading. Understanding what is happening may help you to decide what course of action/suggestion to follow. You have come to the right place. This is very supportive community. Use your Intro thread to ask questions and keep a journal of your progress.

Video: Healing from Antidepressants: Patterns of Recovery

Brain Remodelling

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

Why taper?

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

Tips for Tapering Zoloft

Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

All the best.

CC

November 29, 2015

I won't. I have a psychiatrist I see and even have her number to call. I think she is going to reach over her desk and strangle me when I tell her how low of a dose I am on. I may call her for some advice soon, may probably have to bump it up a little despite my ego telling me to stay the course.

November 29, 2015

Hi again,

Not knowing what your psychiatrist is like regarding withdrawal and tapering I'd like to suggest that you post your their suggestion here and get others opinions on what you should do/take.

Re the ego this might help: six-mistakes-ive-made-in-withdrawal/

CC

November 29, 2015

Hi CaptianJack-- Welcome to the group. This site is dedicated to helping people get off of psych drugs in a safe and controlled manner. We have a protocol that has been developed oven many years and many thousands of people experiences, which we know works. If you are interested in our advice we are quite willing to be of help. But if you wish to follow the directions of your doctor there isn't much we can do for you.

So how can we help you?

November 29, 2015

I think both. I take advice from my doctor and respect her opinion but at this point am doing what I feel is best which is slowly going down. I also don't know how much help I need I am pretty self-motivated but would like to stay a part of a community of peers who are also in the same boat. I hope that helps, I don't know if this is the right place for me.

November 29, 2015

I definitely want help just am unsure about a lot. So.

November 29, 2015

Hello CaptainJC.

A very good idea about anything in life is to get ourselves educated and informed about things.

I'm always shockingly surprised how I had been taking these drugs for so many years without having a slightest clue of how they actually work. Just relying on doctors and popular myths without exploring them myself. Even choosing to trust doctors over myself.

Start by reading through the links Chessie provided for you. The information here explained so many things for me.

November 29, 2015

Hi again Captain,

When first coming to this site, it can be overwhelming. For years we have believed certain things/people and then suddenly we are bombarded with all of this information which makes us question these beliefs/people. I found the best thing was to start reading the threads/topics that were offered, and sometimes re-reading them and the start of my own intro topic.

bubble's post has just popped up with similar thoughts to mine so I'll leave it at that.

CC

November 29, 2015

Welcome Captain Jack Sparrow to Beyond Meds

It sounds like you have a good game plan for yourself, to follow your passions and try to get off the 'medications'. I was curious what routines you added to your life that made you feel better. I took up nightly 5 mile walks and daily bike treks and, strange as this may sound, hunting for golf balls at local courses. I was also on Zoloft and Zyprexa (for 15 yrs.) and had terrible times trying to get off of them, usually a week or two of flu-like symptoms (projectile vomiting for a week straight) and insomnia, which still haunts me to this day.

I too have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, bi-polar and schizo-affective. They are basically all pseudo- labels that the psychiatric industry come up with to make themselves seem current and intelligent and high-sounding. If I were you, I would never tell your shrink how low of dose you are taking. I never did. I would just nod my head to all their questions at our bi-annual appointments, and then throw out half the pills they prescribed for me, since I was only taking half doses. I would say to my shrinks "Yep, yep, I am still taking those good pills, doc." I mean just lie to them. Even when I had issues with the side effects of their pills, it didn't matter to them, because they're just pill-pushers, so why be honest with them. No need to raise their concern levels and have them ruin you with their overbearing good intentions.

I am a writer, too. I mostly write poetry and short pieces of memoir and would be interested in reading some of your work if you felt like sharing any of it. I found that getting off of the meds really freed my creative spirit from years of pill -induced lethargy. I thought I might leave with you with a little of my poetry and if you wanted to send me some of your writing just send me a message on this website. Best of Luck to you however you choose to get off those pills and on with your life. PoetJester

The Sayings of Forrest Dumped from the movie "Forrest Gump"

Life is like a jug of rotten leche (leche- Spanish for 'milk')

It leaves a bad taste in your mouth

And makes you wanna retche. (ie. to retch, to throw up)

On the first order of business

Rip van Winkle

Woke up

And had to tinkle.

The Way of the World

Mankind follows a rather disingenuous path

It talks about love and practices wrath.

My Youth

What can I say about myself as a youth?

I was as quiet as a mouse

I was as tight-lipped as a clam

I was as high-strung as a lute

But, boy did I sure fall for girls that I thought were cute.

November 29, 2015

Hi CaptianJack-- I think you'll fit in fine. Going on and then getting off of theses drugs is a huge deal, quite possibly one of the hardest things someone will ever do in their life. Not only have people had problems that they turned to someone they have learned all their life to trust only to have it backfire and those people turn their backs, they find their condition much worse and no one will believe them. Each persons journey is different and we all learn from each other as we sort through what has happened to us.

There is a lot of information, feelings and sensations to sort through and a lot of seeming huge decisions to make. Especially in the beginning. Read through the links, get confused and ask a lot of questions, that's how the rest of us started out, and at some point your path will become more clear.

January 25, 2016

I am back. I have gone through taking heavy duty antipsychotic medications being told i needed it for life, and have been been off them just fine the last 6 months. The next to go is my sertraline zoloft 100mg

January 25, 2016

Welcome back CJS,

I've merged your post with your original intro thread - it's one per member so we can see your complete history in one place.

Karen

April 2, 2016

hi everyone, it's nice to see people who have been on antidepressants for 10, 20 years, gives me a lot of hope that there is still hope out there. pretty frustrated myself with everything, including all the deception and lies. I read something about holds, I believe that is when you stay on a dose until you feel better? I have been on a hold for a bit now, totally want to get off them as fast as possible but I am going a slower route. i hope my drug history is on the bottom.

April 2, 2016

Hi CJS,

I've merged your recent new topic into your Intro/Update topic. It is one Intro topic per member. This is where you ask questions related to your own situation.

It is a good idea to click Follow This Topic (top right). Also, to find your topic you can click on the drop down arrow beside your name and then click My Content. You can then choose Only Topics on the left and find your Intro. Or save it in Favourites.

April 2, 2016

Thanks ChessieCat, you have saved me possibly months of frustration.

April 15, 2016

Welcome Captain Jack Sparrow to Beyond Meds

It sounds like you have a good game plan for yourself, to follow your passions and try to get off the 'medications'. I was curious what routines you added to your life that made you feel better. I took up nightly 5 mile walks and daily bike treks and, strange as this may sound, hunting for golf balls at local courses. I was also on Zoloft and Zyprexa (for 15 yrs.) and had terrible times trying to get off of them, usually a week or two of flu-like symptoms (projectile vomiting for a week straight) and insomnia, which still haunts me to this day.

I too have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, bi-polar and schizo-affective. They are basically all pseudo- labels that the psychiatric industry come up with to make themselves seem current and intelligent and high-sounding. If I were you, I would never tell your shrink how low of dose you are taking. I never did. I would just nod my head to all their questions at our bi-annual appointments, and then throw out half the pills they prescribed for me,  since I was only taking half doses. I would say to my shrinks "Yep, yep, I am still taking those good pills, doc." I mean just lie to them. Even when I had issues with the side effects of their pills, it didn't matter to them, because they're just pill-pushers, so why be honest with them. No need to raise their concern levels and have them ruin you with their overbearing good intentions.

I am a writer, too. I mostly write poetry and short pieces of memoir and would be interested in reading some of your work if you felt like sharing any of it. I found that getting off of the meds really freed my creative spirit from years of pill -induced lethargy. I thought I might leave with you with a little of my poetry and if you wanted to send me some of your writing just send me a message on this website. Best of Luck to you however you choose to get off those pills and on with your life.    PoetJester

The Sayings of Forrest Dumped               from the movie "Forrest Gump"

Life is like a jug of rotten leche          (leche- Spanish for 'milk')

It leaves a bad taste in your mouth

And makes you wanna retche.          (ie. to retch, to throw up)

On the first order of business

Rip van Winkle

Woke up

And had to tinkle.

The Way of the World

Mankind follows a rather disingenuous path

It talks about love and practices wrath.

My Youth

What can I say about myself as a youth?

I was as quiet as a mouse

I was as tight-lipped as a clam

I was as high-strung as a lute

But, boy did I sure fall for girls that I thought were cute.

PoetJester, Thank you so much for your honest advice!!! lol. It seems the only way to get by is to lie to these shrinks.

April 25, 2016

Was curious if anyone has any tips from tapering off 50mg of Zoloft?

April 25, 2016

Hi CJS

I've moved you question re Zoloft into your intro topic because there is already a topic Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline). You may find that this topic answers any questions you have regarding tapering Zoloft. If not, you are welcome to ask them either here (if it is about your own individual situation your Intro topic is the best one to use) or if it is more general in nature you could post in the Tips for tapering off Zoloft.

Many subjects already have existing topics. The best way to search this site is by using Google and typing in survivingantidepressants.org + topic. If you can't find what you are looking for then please don't hesitate to ask.

I am assuming that you are planning on starting your taper soon. Good luck, I hope it goes well. Please don't forget to update your signature with date and dose each time you change so that your drug history remains current and it can be seen at a glance and means that people don't have to read back through your posts.

Also, remember to keep notes on paper, both improvements and symptoms, so that if issues arise you will be able to give details which will help the staff to offer suggestions. And Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable. It can be tempting to try and rush the process, but your brain needs to adapt each time you drop your dose before dropping some more.

I'm looking forward to hearing how you go.

April 25, 2016

Hi Jack,

Just found this post by you: Posted 25 April 2016 - 12:14 PM

Dizzy,

I'm right there with you, man. I just made the leap from 75mg of zoloft to 50mg of zoloft the past 2-3 weeks. It actually wasn't as bad as I expected, however... I also went down to 50mg before but it was way too fast and it left me feeling very agitated for too long. I am happy to finally feel myself adjusting to the "50mg" of Zoloft dose. I think i will try to hold off as long as possible so I could really get my brain attuned to it.

I actually did something very similar to you which is I went down from 100 to 75 and then quickly to 50 after a couple of weeks and carrying this energy of determined motivation started alternating also to 25/50.. After much struggling I had to swallow my PRIDE and go back up to 75mg, spent some time on 75mg then went down to 50 where I am now comfortably. For me it is about finding an intuitive sense of how my body is adjusting and the factual memory sort of, but mostly intuition. I have no idea how I will tackle going from 50 to 0 yet.

Firstly could you please update your signature to show this change in dosage.

It would probably be a good idea to hold for at least 2 (or maybe even 3) months from when you last dropped your dose to allow your brain and CNS to catch up. SA recommends a 10% taper of the previous dose with a 4-6 week holding period to let your brain adapt to not getting as much of the drug. Dropping by large amounts (and in this instance you dropped by 33%) can end up taking longer than going down 10%.

What sort of withdrawal symptoms have you been experiencing since dropping to 50 mg (from 75 mg)?

Please also be aware that many members here find that the lower the dose gets the slower they have to go.

May 5, 2016

UPDATE: I really had no idea this journey would be so difficult. I thought everyone was wacky to recommend this slow taper thing, but I'm realizing how ADDICTIVE this stuff really is. I had to go up from 50mg and pushed it to 62.5 and i already feel a lot better.. wow.

May 12, 2016

This is a real learning curve and many of us have thought we could go faster than the 10% which sounds so ridiculously SLOOOOOOW!

Unfortunately we have also had to admit that we didn't know best and had to updose or reinstate then start to do it properly. :blush:

Hold the dose you are on now for at least a month then follow the guidelines in the topic for tapering zoloft. CC posted the link for you.

Try to be patient and you will get there in the end with your sanity intact. Rush it and risk being back you where started and on other drugs!

Let us know how it's going

CaptainJackSparrow

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