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Barbarannamated: pain<-->depression...chicken<-->egg


Barbarannamated

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Hi all. I've been posting from mobile device and wanted to finally enter just an abbreviated history.

1980s -- Depression (dysthymia) began in late teens, college days. Treated for short time with Desyrel (trazodone) which was sedating (surprise!). Referred to it as my 'stupid pill'. Didn't stay on that more than a month or two.

1993--cumulative trauma injury to neck/shoulder that went into severe TMJ/D with chronic, incapactating headaches, neck and back pain. Treated w/various opiates and began SSRI journey with Zoloft. Used most classes of ADs except MAOIs with most time on Effexor and lastly, Pristiq. Never noticed any improvement with them, but docs encouraged me to try another, increase dosage, add on an atypical antipsychotic, finally ADHD meds. The only time I noticed any sig improvement was with Abilify (for about 6 months) and Vyvanse, which I am still on. I read alot over time and in past year decided that I like dopamine. ;-) Tyrosine also helps my energy level and mood quite a bit.

When no SS/NRIs were working and I was still on oxycodone ((low dose from respected interventional pain doc), a few psychiatrists said that ADs wouldn't work because opiates interfered at mu-receptor level. Pain docs disagreed, but I agreed to a detox program at a university hospital. That was a nightmare that lasted 3 days before I left AMA. My pain doc then gave me Suboxone to DC from the 1/2 oxy I had wreaned myself to. I rarely take that now and use massage, chiro, acupuncture for pain. Occasional sumatriptan for severe headache/migraines.

2010--began unofficial taper of Pristiq 100mg. I don't know exactly what precipitated that except understanding and acknowledging that more serotonin was NOT what I needed. I was blunted, lacked energy, had no enjoyment. I came to see 5HT as more of a calming neurotransmitter that could/would compete with others, particularly dopamine. I realize this is all questionable, but it was my thought process at the time I began to taper.

My taper lasted about 10 months and I had no set process. I cut pills, skipped days, and got very lucky during the actual taper. I did not experience the brain zaps and lightheadeness that I did when I missed just 1 dose of Effexor. My last dosagewas an approx 1/4 of a 100mg Pristiq (square dark red tab). I don't know when I too it last. I only realized I was having protracted withdrawal a few weeks ago when I read a blog post. I have all of the classis autonomic dumping symptoms and had been attributing it to severe anxiety due to life events.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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So how long has it been since your last dose?

 

I agree about serotonin... it's like it makes you comfortable with whatever. So it blunts you from changing your life... it can make you complacent. I somewhere saw a study that said A-type personalities had higher dopamine, less serotonin. But I've also read that neurotransmitter measurements are questionable. It's an incredibly complicated electro-chemical soup we've got going on... so hard to piece out what is what, and it is such a delicate balance.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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Bar, your nervous system has been through the mill with all those drugs.

 

Please try to put aside all the common wisdom about neurotransmitters doing this or that for you. When you mess with one, the others are also affected. The attribution of mood improvement to serotonin because SSRIs seem to affect mood is one of those correlation-cause confounds, a disgrace to scientific thinking.

 

The stimulants gave you more energy because they're stimulants. You could have had similar results with a mild meth habit.

 

Anyway, good to see you here and working on recovering. Welcome.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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When you mess with one, the others are also affected.

 

I think that is the most important lesson to be learned in all of this. Of course neurotransmitters (all of them) and hormones have an effect on our mood. But upping one or another with blunt, powerful, poorly understood tools such as psychiatric drugs is playing god in a really dangerous way.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm having a tough time finding anything to post on the Grateful discussion. Don't want to pollute w my negativity so posting here.

It's not that my life is so horrible in any obvious way. However, I have had no purpose, job, etc. for 11 years (disability - neck inj/chronic pain) and have felt blocked by every attempt to regain any control over my life. I've become my mother, which I swore from a young age I would never be: dependent on a man. Not only a man, but 'the system'. I try to tell myself I'm fortunate to have the benefits I do, but I'm not convincing myself.

 

I really need sunshine. I will be very grateful for sunshine should it ever appear again. Seasonal Affective Disorder-- I suppose that's one reason to live in SoCal.

There's a cute-ish new country song by Zack Brown w Jimmy Buffett- -"Toes" maybe.

'when you lose yourself, you find your own kind of paradise.' WHEN did I start liking country music???

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Bar, why don't you get a nice little studio apartment in Venice Beach?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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That is an area I feel drawn to b/c of a sense of community (perceived or real). Im curious as to why you suggest it? Thanks for the reminder.

I got a similar feel in downtown Nashville. Alot of activity w/i walking distance almost 24/7. The people are so friendly and engaging, it took me off guard at first.

It is so alienating to be alone and lonely and unscheduled in today's world. I'm fine interacting w new people and do most things on my own. Met some great people along the way. However, miss a regular support system and deeper relationships. This group probably has a better idea of who I am right now than any friends from childhood. I got away from Facebook for a few reasons, one of them being that FB promotes a false sense of connection, IMHO. People put on the face they want to show. Others see what they are given and throw their own interpretations in.

Sorry, a rant for another time!

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Because Venice Beach might be fun, and give you emotional freedom and stimulation.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 month later...

It's Friday. I lost this entire week. Was at conference last weekend. Home on Sunday. I went out 1 day, don't remember what I did. Wow.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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It's Friday. I lost this entire week. Was at conference last weekend. Home on Sunday. I went out 1 day, don't remember what I did. Wow.

 

Lmao. You remind me too much of myself. I don't know where this week went either.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Hey Barb, does acupuncture help with the psoas pain? I've never been to one before. If it does help, how long does it usually last?

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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It's Friday. I lost this entire week. Was at conference last weekend. Home on Sunday. I went out 1 day, don't remember what I did. Wow.

 

You're not alone! I went off my meds last week..but it might aswell have been years ago - I cannot even remember it.

Off Lexapro since 3rd November 2011.

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Hey Barb, does acupuncture help with the psoas pain? I've never been to one before. If it does help, how long does it usually last?

 

Shanti,

 

I'm still trying to find that psoas article. Here's one I just came across that you might find interesting as it relates to the 2nd chakra and emotional control expressed in psoas. My link I have no idea if this is valid, although it seems similar to the detailed article I was referring to.

Acupuncture helps some w/the psoas, but it is difficult to get to because it's such a deep and big muscle group. A massage therapist I use has tried doing a psoas release on me, but, honestly, nothing has been long-lasting. When I was in Texas over the summer, a massage therapist incorporated rolfing into the massage. THAT was interesting! Painful, but definitely could be helpful because I have long standing musculoskeletal issues and scoliosis. Rolfing is tough to describe--it works with the whole body as a system with 'muscle trains' from head to toe.I went to an acupuncturist in Nashville shortly after that who said my muscles were so tight that his needles bent when he was placing them. He advised rolfing for me (w/o me prompting).I respect a specialist who will recommend a different treatment/specialty when appropriate (he didn't advise it instead of acupuncture, though).

 

My psoas issues are only on the right (or, I notice only on right). I can really notice it when I ride my horses. My right stirrup has to be adjusted differently depending on leg length that day. I also have far less external rotation/abduction in right hip/pelvis. There are Physical Therapists who specialize in pelvis/sacroiliac (SI) problems that many MDs (mis)treat as lumbar spine issues.

 

Shanti (or anyone!), have you had an Ayurvedic massage focused on the 3rd eye? I had that one time at Two Bunch Palms spa in Desert Hot Springs. It was also very interesting--more like a hot oil bath. Extremely relaxing. "womb-like", not that I recall what that felt like!

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Your sig "This only took me 32 33 edits" made me lol :)

 

I was on Geodon and I could barely walk. I think I was on Risperdol. I know I was on Abilify and several others that I just can't remember. All a blur. But I relate to the shoveling food in mouth. I got hooked on brown sugar too. I'd eat it straight lol

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Oh, and there was a time that my brain was so messed up that I couldn't post. I just couldn't write, couldn't think straight enough to do it. I felt like my life was totally gone and I'd be an invalid for the rest of my life. But it gets better. Listen to Alto and Barb and the other, they know their stuff. I'm more of an intuitive, spiritual type and they've helped me a lot.

 

I need more of the intuitive part

 

And I need some of that scientific part to stick in my brain! I don't know how you all remember this stuff. I can't even remember what meds I've been on. Maybe we'll rub off on eachother and have both :)

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm getting an unbelievably strong hot flash every nite at about 6pm (now!). It's as predictable as the AM cortisol rush. I am supposedly 'post-menopausal' (according to FSH) for about 2 years now, although my most recent endocrinologist believes that it *may* be a result of messed up hormones and not actually menopause.

Just reporting this for the record. I never had hot flashes when I was theoretically going thru menopause.

You'll be seeing me on the National Inquirer "80-year-old woman has 1st baby".

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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One more thing... I wasn't going to go shopping, but I heard that JC Penney has a special on SNOWGLOBES. "Snowglobes?" you ask. Yes, snowglobes. You see, my snowglobe has been shaken so hard over the past year, it's shattered.

 

Should I invest in a new snowglobe....DO NOT SHAKE, STIR or SHATTER! Please!

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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"80-year-old woman has 1st baby". :lol:

 

What's a snow globe? I know that's probably a stupid question. Is it one of those scenes in a globe ball that you shake and it snows? Or one of those big ones you put on your lawn?

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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The shakey snowy thing. It's a flippin' blizzard inside my skull. Probably does not help that the San Andreas Fault runs thru my neighborhood. That's just a little....unsettling. one time the horses stopped dead still and stared up at the mountain. It was eerie. They KNOW things.

A friend from high school committed suicide yesterday. I can't seem to pin down my feelings. Sad, of course. But a different sort of sadness.

 

Not pleasant in my house tonite. His hearing aid was busy charging all day today because it got all used up yesterday on his 1 day of work?? And, somehow, it's still my fault that he can't hear and I have to repeat everything at least 3 times. I guess I know where I rate. Why does this continue to surprise me????

Thanks for 'talking me down', Alex. I was so angry, I was physically shaking.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hi Barb,

 

""The shakey snowy thing. It's a flippin' blizzard inside my skull. Probably does not help that the San Andreas Fault runs thru my neighborhood. That's just a little....unsettling. one time the horses stopped dead still and stared up at the mountain. It was eerie. They KNOW things. ""

 

I can imagine that would be unsettling.

 

Animals are amazing as I have read some stories recently in which I went "wow". A dog that had flunked out of the police academy training school, led someone to a baby that wasn't breathing. Ironic isn't it?

 

""A friend from high school committed suicide yesterday. I can't seem to pin down my feelings. Sad, of course. But a different sort of sadness. ""

 

I am so sorry to hear that.

 

""Not pleasant in my house tonite. His hearing aid was busy charging all day today because it got all used up yesterday on his 1 day of work?? And, somehow, it's still my fault that he can't hear and I have to repeat everything at least 3 times. I guess I know where I rate. Why does this continue to surprise me????

Thanks for 'talking me down', Alex. I was so angry, I was physically shaking.""

 

Based on my personal experience, it is earth shattering to have someone keep confirming what you already suspected. I know I keep thinking that when I am suspicious of something, I hope that maybe I am just viewing the situation wrong and what I think is happening isn't really happening. So of course, when something happens to confirm this suspicions, it is devastating. I totally understand your anger.

 

Hugs!

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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""Not pleasant in my house tonite. His hearing aid was busy charging all day today because it got all used up yesterday on his 1 day of work?? And, somehow, it's still my fault that he can't hear and I have to repeat everything at least 3 times. I guess I know where I rate. Why does this continue to surprise me????

Thanks for 'talking me down', Alex. I was so angry, I was physically shaking.""

 

Based on my personal experience, it is earth shattering to have someone keep confirming what you already suspected. I know I keep thinking that when I am suspicious of something, I hope that maybe I am just viewing the situation wrong and what I think is happening isn't really happening. So of course, when something happens to confirm this suspicions, it is devastating. I totally understand your anger.

 

Hugs!

 

CS

 

Yes! It also sounds very much like the definition of insanity...."doing the same thing over and over expecting to get different results" or something like that. It *shouldn't* surprise me and yet I continue to confirm that, for whatever reason, he does not care enough to make the effort and there is nothing I can do. Stay and deal or leave.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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And then I wake w/a migraine after argument. OK, establishing causal link.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hi Barb. Just some advice. Don't let anyone mess with your Third Eye Chakra right now. If they open it you'll be miserable. If you just want to cleanse your Third Eye, then just visualize Violet energy around it, purifying it.

 

 

I never had the anger issue. Mine was fear and depression. My friend had the anger though, and she felt psycho too. She got so bad she said she had a psychotic breakdown and went to the psychiatric hospital. I can't imagine what that anger must feel like. I hope you're feeling better.

 

Shanti,

 

This is just a hunch...how are you with expressing yourself in conflict situations and expressing anger? I always had problems dealing w/conflict, expressing anger, hurt, sticking up for myself and meds made it worse.

My theory is that people who have had difficulty with expression and hold emotions in are further harmed in that way. Then, take the AD away and it can be like a geyser that hasn't blown for years. I think depression and chronic pain are probably diagnosed more frequently in people who don't express anger or handle conflict well.

 

I came from a family that never had my back. NEVER. I recognized this as a kid. Later, if I told parents about a disagreement with a friend, I switched the story and told them that my opinion was the other person's and vice versa. Worked out well - they agreed with 'me' every time, even though they thought they were 'showing me the other person's point of view'.

 

Oh, Clare! I'm sorry. Didn't mean to hijack your thread.

 

I just saw this. I think we already talked about this. Suppressing anger isn't good, like you said. With me, I just didn't have the anger, I had fear. At the very beginning I did have some anger though, at the doctors and the makers of Paxil. I did get it out mainly by speaking up all over the place about the danger of Paxil and SSRIs.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Shanti,

please tell me more about 3rd Eye Stuff. I had that done on Easter of this year while I was tapering (or just finished) but didn't realize my anxiety, etc. was wd related. Could that have worsened things??

April 24, 2011. It was a sloppy taper. I knew to go slow, but had no idea how to taper correctly.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Well, if you have an open third eye while you're in the astral pits of withdrawal syndrome, you could end up having creepy vivid dreams or nightmares. Maybe even hallucinations. I don't think it would have an effect on other withdrawal symptoms. Just visual stuff. It would be good to cleanse and raise the vibration of your third eye with violet energy, but that's about all I would do for the Third Eye during this time. A lot of my hallucination problems are due to an open third eye. The only time this isn't a bother is when I'm healthy, mentally and physically. But when sick and in w/d, it's a nightmare.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Is that also 3rd chakra?

THANK YOU!

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Is that also 3rd chakra?

THANK YOU!

 

Yes, it's the third chakra. And you're welcome, anytime :)

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Im holding on trazodone 75mg qhs and Klonopin 1mg qhs now. Haven't had Vyvanse in about 2 weeks.

Im not ready to make drastic changes but any thoughts to prepare are welcome. Would Valium crossover be helpful in any way? I began Klonopin in 1995 for bruxism caused by Zoloft - generally clsssified as a movement disorder but treated as anxiety. It still seems to work for bruxing b/c even a change to generic results in jaw/head/neck pain upon wakening. I've tried many times when pharmacy filled w generic. The brand is ridiculously expensive and hard to find.

 

Ive used trazodone for many years for sleep. Also still seems to work judging by nites I went to bed without and had a nite of 'twilight sleep'. As an aside, Desyrel Dividose (trazodone) was first AD I ever used. Short stint in my early 20s when it was the new AD. It was called 'the stupid pill' b/c that's how we acted during the day.

Im old.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I'm considering a Xanax/Valium crossover too. I hear it has a longer half life? I'd like to hear what others think too.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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  • Administrator

Sorry, guys, the intricacies of benzo withdrawal are beyond me. I'd hate to lose you, but maybe you should look at Benzo Buddies? Or ask Rhi when she's pops in again?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Sorry, guys, the intricacies of benzo withdrawal are beyond me. I'd hate to lose you, but maybe you should look at Benzo Buddies? Or ask Rhi when she's pops in again?

 

No way will ya lose me lol. You're stuck with me ;) I'll check over there too.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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  • 3 weeks later...

Sorry for trouncing on others' threads the past few days ~ this time of year has always been tough and this was the first Christmas since separating from my family • it was a rough day and ended with a text from childhood friend ( whose nephew is now engaged to my cousin--love those small towns) saying she heard that I haven't spoken to my family since July and asking 'what's up with you'

 

First „she is well aware of my drug addict sister repeatedly threatening to kill me 'if it's the last thing she does' (said in front of guards at her psych hospital bed--they released her a few days later) Now lives with my elderly parents who have funded her drug habit for many years because they don't have the guts to cut her off because she might become a prostitute (and that would look bad for the family) and dad told me 'it might be the best thing if she kills herself' when I pleaded with him to stop supplying drug money

 

I feel like nobody ~including my husband ~ has taken any care or concern for my feelings in all this

 

And everyone thinks my dad is just the greatest guy ever because he does come across to everyone else that way •

I snapped last summer after they moved her into their house knowing very well that she hates me •

 

None of my old friends could comprehend the need to distance or cut ties with family except one who has family prroblems but not her only sibling threatening to kill her

 

I have not acknowledged friend's text although I mulled over some possibilities but then thought 'whst kind of friend hears that I haven't talked to family since July and asks 'what's up with you' and not something more along the lines of 'are you ok ' or something expressing concern rather than what sounds like an accusation that I've gone off my rocker •

My cousins were always running to me concerned about their safety with my sister a few miles away but not once did anyone express concern about me or how I was dealing with it and i was the only one being threstened • I guess I was putting on a good strong front and taking care of the others •

 

Sorry to go on such a rant • I was managing to keep this at a distance until now

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • Administrator

Barbara,

 

You get to pick your friends, but you don't get to pick your family ... if my sister was threatening my life, I would distance myself from her, too. And if my parents were coddling my sister and enabling her bad behavior I might just need to walk away from them, too. Just because others accept living in a dysfunctional family does not mean that you have to make that choice. Your childhood friend is only getting one side of the story. It is up to you whether you feel it necessary to explain your side of the story.

 

You did say in another post that you used to laugh off your sister's threats to you ... perhaps people don't realize you've had enough and you are done - you're not playing the game any more. Maybe that is what you need to tell them.

 

If you've been good at putting up a front that everything is normal and you can handle it, then your behavior may seem startling.

 

I hope something here helps ...

 

Karma

2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax

200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg - 11/28/21 - 150 mg
Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg
Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor


I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers

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Karma ~

Yes --thank you very much

I have considered how I've handled it in the past and right now I don't feel the need to explain to many people and especially not those who seem more concerned with gossip than anything

 

I was shocked recently by the gossip on Facebook when a friend committed suicide • the reactions that played out on Facebook ranged from unfamiliar with anything mental health to some downright frightening comments from a Masters Level Social Worker ("we all went to the same high school„i thought we were cut from the same cloth„how could this have happened")

 

I think that is all fresh in my mind and I'm too sensitive to open up to anyone's 'advice' ~ people who have never had to deal with mental health issues are profoundly ignorant but often the freest with advice - at least from what I've seen recently •

 

I'm very thankful for this group

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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people who have never had to deal with mental health issues are profoundly ignorant but often the freest with advice - at least from what I've seen recently •

 

That is sooo true. Heh... On the other hand, my brother in law is studying psychology and he continually feels the need to give me advice based on the handful of classes he has taken. Sometimes a little knowledge is a dangerous (or annoying) thing!

 

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I can't imagine what it's like to have to deal with a sister that threatens to kill you, and parents who are enabling her. I can, however, relate to the not being understood part... you are trying to do what is healthy for you but you are seen with incomprehension or maybe even downright suspicion. That is a tough place to be in.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Using Valium to taper was the brainchild of Heather Ashton. Since it offers a smoother taper, smoother WD especially from short-acting benzos like Xanax.

 

Benzobuddies is a good site. It offers various methods of tapering from benzos. And I believe that they will supply you with a personalized taper plan.

 

My husband started on the benzo path and I did a lot of research before it got out of control.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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