Deano32: Medication merry go round/mirtazipine poop out/withdrawal

[Deano32]

Thanks again mstimc I will start reading more of the success stories,and I do know what you mean about the gains and setbacks I've noticed I have less tolerance to stressful situations now then I used too and find it hard to contain my emotions especially anger and anxiety,do you think I would be ok to continue with my taper as I haven't decreased in over a year?

[mstimc]

23 minutes ago, Deano32 said:

do you think I would be ok to continue with my taper as I haven't decreased in over a year?

Hi

 

Tapering isnt my area of expertise so I'll let others more knowledgeable chime in on that.  I will say, for me, once I committed to a taper (after two unsuccessful attempts), I stuck with it, but I did vary the interval somewhat depending on how I felt.  I had to accept it wasn't a race so I allowed myself time to adapt and heal between decreases.  I really think each of us has to make the decision on when to decrease based on how we feel, and not be too rigid with a schedule.  

[Deano32]

Hi im back with an update been on about 4.5mg of mirtazipine for a while been up and down but coped ok.,just had a bout of the flu was ok at first but now am not doing good i have been having

 

.cold flashes leading to panic attacks which i havent had on this scale for years

 

.dry mouth not helped by water

 

.intrusive thoughts

 

.genral anxiety allday cant relax

 

I was wondering if anyone had anything like this happen after having the flu?as everything that i had before now feels 10 times worse making me nearly unfunctionanble.

[Deano32]

Update- day 2 since symptoms began

 

Still feeling awful today managed to get zero sleep last night.

Today symptoms are the same plus have lost my emotions so feeling very flat

 

Do i just wait this out? or taper/updose i know its only been a couple of days of symptoms but i seem to be going downhill fast

 

[mstimc]

Hi Deano

Be patient with yourself.  Two days is way too soon to make a reinstatement decision. Tapering isn't a smooth decline--its a rollercoaster of ups and downs, but you can handle it, especially if you stay focused on recovery.  Try to use distraction and reality grounding to crowd out the intrusive thinking.  Its the anxious thoughts that are trying to convince you that you can't make it.  Don't give them that power. 

[Deano32]

Thanks for the reply mstimc

 

Been a really hard couple of days for me. seems since having the flu ive kind of lost my resilience to cope as well and with the uptick in symptoms its been very hard i even cried today for the first time in years as feeling so overwhelmed 

[littlebird]

3 minutes ago, Deano32 said:

i even cried today for the first time in years as feeling so overwhelmed 

 

I know this might feel unpleasant, but being able to release emotions through tears sounds pretty darn healthy. Especially if it's the first time in years! Gotta let that water flow. 

[mstimc]

@littlebirdbeat me to it, but crying can be good.  Its a sign your emotions are coming back. They aren't being stifled by the meds. And its a great emotional release.  This is a sign of healing!

[Deano32]

Thank you both  i really hope so.so unusual for me to cry and made me feel like im losing control just not used to it 

[littlebird]

3 minutes ago, Deano32 said:

so unusual for me to cry and made me feel like im losing control just not used to it 

 

Oh, it feels weird and sometimes awful when the tears flow. I found I had a flood of 'em after not crying for a long time, but then that eased as my body adjusted to tapering. I used to fight the tears, they make me feel out of control too, but I found when I just gave in to them it was often less crying than I thought was going to come and I felt better afterwards. Can help to journal a bit too while crying to really get those feelings out!

[Deano32]

i did feel a little calmer after and il give the journaling a try thanks littlebird

[Deano32]

Update- day 3 

 

I slept last night but woke up early had to get out of bed as burning skin and anxiety.

Feel slightly dazed and depressed today not really knowing what to do with myself just stuck in my own head trying to figure out how to get myself out of this situation,i was doing okish until i got the flu will this all settle down if i do nothing?as feel so depressed today 

[marie123]

Hi Deano. I have had these setbacks when I get sick from the flu, bad colds and covid during my Mirt taper. Symptoms get worse and it can be hard. I have to tell you, every time this has happened I have stabilized. It's happened to me quite a few times. The flu caused the wave of symptoms. I would just stay at your dose until you stabilize since it seems you have been at this dose for a while. Marie.

[Deano32]

Thanks marie123 needed to hear that

 

[Deano32]

Update- day 5 

 

Still lots of symptoms persist

.racing thoughts

.numb head

.panic and depression

.not hungry stomach seems shut off

 

Am noticing a patern forming too seem to be at my worse in the morning and through day and improve alot at night been this way for the last 3 days

[mstimc]

Hi Deano

 

I know WD is hell, but you should practice denying your symptoms so much of your emotional and intellectual energy.  When I was deep in WD, I'd wake up and catalog everything wrong with me, and if I couldn't find anything, my anxious mind would start searching until it created something or blew minor things into major issues.  There is such a strong urge to pull the covers over your head and hibernate until it passes, but that's the worse thing you can do.  It just creates mind space for more more symptoms and intrusive thoughts. I'm in no way trying to minimize your symptoms, but the mind can have a powerful effect on the body.  Racing and anxious thoughts tighten your entire body, which would explain feeling numb and your stomach problems.

 

Practicing acceptance is one of the most difficult coping tools, but it is very powerful.  Thoughts have no substance and no power other than what we give them.  Accept the racing thoughts will come, but you don't have to react to them. They're like hiccups--they're annoying but they don't last forever and they don't mean something is wrong with you.  There are lots of acceptance practice sources, but I and and many other SA members found Claire Weeks' "floating through" approach to be effective.  You should check that out when you have a chance. And remember, we've been there--you're not alone!

[Deano32]

Thanks mstimc

 

ive been walking alot today trying to keep busy and making myself eat even though my stomach doesnt want too ive even self reffered myself to do some possible cbt or talk therapy,

I never thought id get to this stage again.

I will look in to that book and will really try and be more accepting its really hard though

[mstimc]

Be kind to yourself.  This isn't a race or a pass/fail test.  Each day can have its own small victories. 

[Deano32]

Thanks again mstimc i will try

[Dahlia50]

@Deano32 Hi, just wanted to say I can relate to how hard this is. Also do not understand how it’s possible these drugs can cause all these inhumane symptoms. Hope we heal and get some relief 🌿