Scared18: So Relieved

[scared18]

Hi,

I am so happy to finally have found this site. I have started what I can only describe as the most horrific chapter in my life. I have had some serious situational stressors over the past year but nothing compared to the perfect storm that was about to happen. In the middle of January I had spoken to the NP that prescribes my citalopram and was told by another doctor that the citalopram was interacting with 2 other meds and was giving me a very unpleasant interaction symptom.

 

It was recommended that I stop takin the citalopram as that was the common denominator in both. Initially I was dropped from 20mg citalopram to 10mg citalopram. Within about 3 weeks, I called the NP and said I wasn't feeling right and a little mentally unstable. She then put me on 50mg of sertraline and 150mg of wellbutrin xl.

 

I saw her two weeks later and everything was better but that negative interaction had returned almost immediately. She then suggested cutting the sertraline from 50mg to 25mg for the next 5 days and then 25mg every other day for 5 days and off I went. By the time I had reached day 2 of 25mg I was off to the races!!!

 

I had the most severe anxiety that I have ever experienced which ended me up in the ER with an increased heart rate. I was immediately taken out of work because I was "off my rocker". Really stressed and anxious which was now manifesting in my body. At the beginning of February I started to see a therapist because I knew I was not handling things well but at no point had anyone told me this could be from the medicine.

 

I can't thank her enough because I am not sure I would have made it this far without her. But I feel bad that she had no baseline of me and only sees me at my absolute worst! Though she does not judge me at all, I don't think she can completely see how bad it is in my head and I can't blame her. So one day after I had ripped my husband's head off, cried uncontrollably and had an anxiety attack that I turned to the internet for some help.

 

I was and still am filtering through about three emotions every half hour. I can go from ok to crying for ten minutes to an uncontrollable anxiety attack to exhausted in like a half an hour. It is all day long, I have very few moments of clarity or feeling "ok". I am thinking I am truly "cracking up", that this is it, I finally broke!

 

After reading some information and finding this forum I finally feel a little more hope. I have made an appointment with a Psychiatrist for tomorrow and actually started taking the 10mg citalopram again. I couldn't take it anymore. Now I know not to self medicate but I have called the NP on two occasions and she just keeps telling me the Wellbutrin hasn't kicked in yet. She also had prescribed me clonazepam and clonidine to help calm me down but honestly I have found very little benefit from either of them so I don't think it is even necessary to take them at this point.

 

What I keep telling my family who I feel like I am absolutely abusing because of my mood swings is, "I don't know what will happen next, that's the beauty of this whole experience" and we kind of laugh and go on but I just can't take it anymore. I have had a few other physical symptoms also happen as a result of this too! Thank you everyone for sharing your stories as that is the only reason that today I feel some hope for relief!!!

 

There is one more thing I did forget to add...I am not discounting my situational stressors at all but I just don't feel like my brain is functioning right enough to deal with what is going on. Where in the past, yes I would stress and have anxiety but at some point I could stop my train wreck and right my ship (sorry for all the cliché's) but right now, I feel like I can not even get out of my own way! Thank you all for any support or advice you may have!

Edited March 30, 2016 by KarenB
added paragraph breaks

[Shep]

Hi, scared18. 

 

I'm sure there will be a moderator along to help you soon, but I wanted to welcome you to the forum.

 

Here are a few links that can get you started:

 

 

Drug Interactions Checker -- use it to reduce your drug burden

 

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

 

Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

It looks like you're also on Wellbutrin, as well as a few other meds, so as much information as you can provide for all your meds will be helpful.

 

Also, please use caution with clonazepam or any of the other benzodiazepines.  Dependence can form in only a couple of weeks with this type of drug and I know from my own experience, they are really hard to come off once you are dependent.

 

I came off of a cocktail of 6 drugs after being on psychiatric drugs for 30 years and I'm slowly healing. You can do this. You'll get a lot of support here.

[scared18]

Thank you so much Shep! It really means a lot to me that you replied! I will definitely check out those links! You are absolutely right about those benzos. I actually had a friend who was addicted to them terribly and suffered so much and is currently in treatment! That is one scary type of drug, so I don't use it often at all. I actually find very little relief in it so at this point I have just stopped taking it altogether but thank you so much for that warning. I wish more people were educated about that class of drug and what can truly happen to you. I saw it first hand and it is scary! It is so great to hear you were able to come out the other side of that, it appears to not be easy and I can't even imagine the awful experience you had! I am really hoping tomorrow's appointment with an actual psychiatrist will get me back to where I need to be, but me being me and in my experiences, this is about a 50/50 shot! Is it possible that all this is the withdrawal syndrome? No medical professional has confirmed this for me, I actually think if they did it would give me some relief in knowing my brain is not gone! I do realize this is a process and I will not be healed over night. I am also going to go to a day program at a local hospital for cognitive behavioral therapy as well. What I have found really disturbing is, even though I have really good medical coverage as I work in state service, most of this is not covered by insurance and is quite costly! I am just lucky enough to have the funds to be able to do it, I am not rich by any stretch but this is important enough to make cuts in other places to be able to get better. I actually feel for the people who are in financial constraints and need the help! Thank you again for your inspiration and knowing that you were able to make it through your experience gives me hope that I will too get through mine!!!

[Shep]

You're welcome, Scared.

 

You're definitely going to be okay. You mention going from 20 mg to 10 mg of citalopram. That's a 50% drop, which can cause all sorts of problems.

 

You may wish to speak to your psychiatrist about decreasing by 10% (or less):

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Most psychiatrists don't understand antidepressant withdrawal, so please don't feel bad if your pdoc falls in that category. The mods on this forum can walk you through a really safe and careful taper plan. And with your other resources for non-drug ways of coping, you'll come out of this golden.

 

 

 

[AliG]

Hi Scared. Welcome. 

Shep has given you some good links .  Have a read , and see what you think .

Unfortunately , most doctors don't understand withdrawal, but it might help you if you know beforehand , how to deal with them. A bit more reading for you :  

 

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

 

You will get through this, with lots of support and encouragement , from those here who are going through the same or similar symptoms / circumstances.  Let us know how you go .

Ali

[KarenB]

Hello Scared,

 

So glad you've found this site, and I'm also very sorry for what you've been put through with those drugs.  What we find here is that with some good information and support people do get themselves sorted out, so please feel encouraged!  True, it doesn't happen quickly, but you'll get yourself back again.

 

The others gave you good links to start with.  These will answer your questions as to whether all this trouble is due to withdrawal: 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9809-neuro-emotions/

 

Please have a read of all those links (I know, it's a lot to get your head around) and then come back to this thread to discuss things further.  The first step is to get you stabilised.  Then we'll look at a good tapering plan for you.

 

Welcome to s/a

Karen

[scared18]

Hi All,

Sorry I haven't been on in a few days. I did want to update you on a couple of things. I reinstated on my own as I had some 10mg citaloprams left. I saw a new Pdoc on Thursday and he told me I was going through withdrawal and that the other office that I was being treated by was not doing anything wrong and recommended a slower taper. Basically a waste of time, I already knew that.

 

I made an appointment with my current office and am seeing them this week and am going to discuss what information I have gotten from this forum. It is scary that people really don't realize how awful this can be. I feel SO much better since reinstating but am still not 100% which is expected. However, I finally feel like a real person again and like I have some control over myself which was the scariest thing I probably have ever experienced.

 

Does anyone have any information on side effects you can expect from reinstating? I am having insomnia really bad, which I was having during w/d too. It just seems a little worse. Also, fatigue and weakness which seems new. Also, does anyone have any information on excessive sweating with citalopram? This is why I initially started the taper. I was and now am still suffering from severe hyperhidrosis. I would love to hear if anyone else has had this symptom and if they were able to return to normal after they were clear of the drug.

 

Thanks again everyone for your responses, you really do not know how much it means to me. The fact that strangers are willing to help me and pull me up in my time of need is so comforting!!!! Have a great day!!!

[KarenB]

Hi Scared,

 

Glad you're feeling a little better.  Can you clarify in your signature all the drugs you are taking, and at what doses, and also the dates of reductions and dates you reinstated.  I think we need a clearer picture so we can give you better advice. 

 

You could also put those drugs into the Drug Interactions Checker, and post the results here.

 

Thanks,

Karen