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Tired of weaning


Crocus
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I am struggling a bit today. I did not sleep well and in the early a.m. had the feeling of being plugged in to an electrical socket - for lack of a better way to describe. I took my first supplements and it went away but sometimes I have to say I just get tired....tired of the long haul that weaning is for me and all of the necessary things I must do to minimize it.

 

In addition, my hands became numb at night. This has been true about my feet since March, but they are worsening and I just do not need another symptom from this drug!

 

I do get down at times, not as in "DSM" label down, just real tired of how much effort, cost, thought and time it takes to deal with this.

 

I never set out to study nutrition, but have found myself knowing more about it than I ever wanted to. I do yoga, exercise, I make sure to get in the sun every day it is out and have to remember to keep stock of the supplements I take. I journal, I read every book I can find about psych meds, litigation, everything that might pertain to what I am dealing with.

 

I still feel that even people who sympathize and see psychotropic drugs as harmful do not "get" a lot of what we are really dealing with. To me, calling this addiction minimizes it. I have experience in working with addiction and this is really much more insidious. I hear a colleague saying how great a facility is because they "make people stop smoking" before they enter treatment and all I can think is "hell, I might start smoking if it helps lessen the physical withdrawal of Effexor!" Of course, smoking does not help, but what is important is getting of the most harmful of drugs. Does heroin take several years to get off? Should it? Do we really dare to call people "clean" as if they'd been dirty somehow?

 

I just think that people need to look to those who are getting this done rather than hope they can find a "test result" to hide behind or questionable statistic to use as a shield so they still feel comfortable in their "profession". I am not comfortable. No one in the psychiatric profession should be feeling comfortable now that this is known about! No one in the pharmaceutical trade should feel comfortable knowing where their income comes from! You too are human people, and this harm? well, it harms you too.

 

Then there are those who say "It saved my life." I would not deny you anything you thought saved your life, but know that it has nearly ruined mine and also you might think of a plan should the meds stop working for you. I also felt that meds helped back when I first took them, but think of the strength in a chemical that would change how you feel about life! Why would anyone wonder that it has such an ugly and well hidden down-side?

 

I have worked at what I hope is one of the worst mental hospitals in the United States....I saw people who were labeled schizophrenic be given a myriad of drugs and then just become docile like cattle. I had to see this up close and personal. These are people who had been through the same hospitals over and over and our job was to release them as quickly as possible - in fact we were supposed to have a discharge plan in place at the time of intake! Sometimes, people were given a bus ticket one-way out of state so that they would not decompensate and come back, and quite often we got people who had just arrived in the state on the bus....coincidence? I don't think so.

 

It gets old. I guess I just needed to vent. I hope this does not offend, but, I am tired of taking something so bad....continuing to pay a co-pay for poison and continuing to see people being hurt. I feel spent.

 

I may get down but I will not give in, give out nor give up on myself, my health and that of other people. I think I need a a break though. Perhaps a trashy novel or a drive someplace slow paced.

xxxx

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Hi Crocus. I know what you mean when you say that people can't possibly understand just how awful this is. No words can get it across. It's just indescribable. About 20 years ago in my wild days, I got addicted to Meth and Cocaine and ended up in a rehab for 3 months. I can say this; my Paxil withdrawals are WORSE than that. This is a cruel, brutal attack to spirit. I pray they stop prescribing it to people.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Hey Crocus,

 

Great post. I think you make a ton of terrific points. I too have had a lot of experience with mental health (though from the patient side only) and with addiction. I don't think alcoholism and withdrawal from psychiatric medication are an easy comparison because alcoholics have an organic condition. That said, I couldn't agree more with you (and Shanti) that there is no comparison between getting off illegal drugs and getting off psychiatric Drugs.

 

It is hugely, massively easier to get off cocaine, say, or alcohol and return to good health than it is to get off Effexor or any number of psychiatric medications. Of course, this is on average. But, on average, I repeat it's not even a competition. Barring co-existing health issues, new admits are functionally healthy within a week of admission to an in patient drug rehab regardless of their drug of abuse (with the rare exception of pure benzo addicts).

 

I know of what I speak.

 

And you're right, others can not understand what it's like to go through the process. Even sympathetic people, supportive and all that, will not be able to understand what it is like anymore than a man can be told what it feels like to be a woman and viceversa. It's a hellish experience with depths too deep for words.

 

Great post! Keep hanging in...

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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It is hugely, massively easier to get off cocaine, say, or alcohol and return to good health than it is to get off Effexor or any number of psychiatric medications. Of course, this is on average. But, on average, I repeat it's not even a competition. Barring co-existing health issues, new admits are functionally healthy within a week of admission to an in patient drug rehab regardless of their drug of abuse (with the rare exception of pure benzo addicts).

 

I know of what I speak.

 

 

 

 

Isn't this a shame...

 

I'm trying to keep my head up...it's hard though :(

Dec 2004 - Put on Zoloft after having a panic attack from the Birth Control Ortho Evra Patch (the doctors thought I was completely insane when I told them I think the Birth Control Patch is giving me anxiety/panic. Funny how they tell you NOW that Birth Control can indeed cause anxiety) Started at 25mg, increased to 50 mg and 100 mg in 2007. They made me too sleepy so decreased back to 50mg until 2009. Reduced to 25 mg in 2010.

Oct 2010 - Decided to come off Zoloft to try and have children. Didn't know anything about tapering because apparently, my doctor didn't know about it either. WDs included heart palpitations, dizziness, tinnitus etc. Decided to go back on Zoloft within 2 weeks of stopping.

January 2011 - Knowing a little more about tapering, I decided to stop taking taking Zoloft with my doctors help again. She told me to hurry and taper in 4 weeks because the tinnitus could become permanent. I thought this was too fast so I took another month to taper.

March 30, 2011 - Last Zoloft pill.

Had a little dizziness & sadness, but felt fine until Aug 2011 after a relative died.

Since then symptoms include brain shivers, migraine headaches on right side of head, warm/hot sensations on right side of head and ears, internal vibrations, tremor, muscle twitches, strange sensations in right side of head, anxiety, nervousness, sadness, disconnected, depersonalization, numbness on left side of body at times, neck pain, muscle/rib cage pains,  just don't feel like myself :(

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Crocus,

Beautifully said. I agree, there is no way to explain it. I DC'd opiates after several years. It was a breeze in comparison. There is an odd sort of respect and compassion for people detoxing from illegal drugs. As if they've made some wonderful decision to change their lot in life. Reveal to someone that you're having probs DCing an AD and, even among nonmedical people, the response is skeptical...'maybe you need it'. I can't think of another drug with this nightmare.

 

@Shanti....I've seen no movement to control use or prescribing which further invalidates our position. W pain meds and benzos, there is awareness that risk is involved. Now they are turning to ADs totreat pain! The use is expanding

-- zjust look at Cymbalta.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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shanti, alex, barbara and dani -

 

Thank you so much for your responses and support. It is funny, I was feeling quite awkward for putting out such a random bunch of thoughts that came from pure frustration, but I feel understood now and I cannot thank you enough for that.

 

Yes, they are doing so much "off label" prescribing with these drugs - especially those who have chronic pain (like they need this problem?) and that makes me really sad.

 

I do know that this issue is slowly bubbling to the surface, but it is very slow. I sent something to all of my friends and colleagues telling them I am going to work with an activist and doctor locally and I got - ONE reply back from a friend I went to grad school with. I do not think anyone else understood or....who knows really.

 

Well, we are here and are "blazing a new frontier" everyday. I am so grateful for each one of you. Crocus

xxxx

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Crocus,

It is so oddly isolating, but I also have no support system. There are times when I wonder where I would go if I needed immediate help.

Barb

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Barbara;

 

Yes I can relate. I certainly would not want to head for an ER full of doctors, but then what are the other choices? That is one of many reasons I am glad this forum is here. At least I can talk with someone like you who understands that we are essentially on a island where AD weaning is concerned.

 

Geez, when I get into "catastrophizing" I even worry about getting ill or hurt and having to deal with a hospital! Would I have my husband "sneak" my contraban beads and supplements to me? Ha! Luckily I have such a dramatic flair for worry I make myself laugh in hearing the things that I come up with.

 

Humor is still the best medicine for my money :)

xxxx

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  • 3 years later...

What happened to Crocus does anyone know I tried to send her a pm and was told she could not use the messaging system. ? I would like an update on her.

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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In case she looks in some day:  

My pm to Crocus.

I tried to send her a message today and was told she can't use messenger... what happened to her? 

if you can send her a message this is what I want to know...
please forward if you can.
I know you have not been here in years but I cannot resists asking your a couple of questions. 
I did a ct from Effexor in 2007... and have ongoing crap of course I can't say what if anything is because of E..or ct. 

I would love it if you would update your thread as to how you are doing now... I hope you are well but if your not... I still want to know. 

There is no history in your thread so I don't know what Ads you took before ect.. hard for me to compare myself to you... I was on some others before E ... would like to compare. 

How you are doing now may give me some insight into long term problems quitting E I think there are some. I think I have them. 

I hope your out there conquering the world and doing well... I so hope you are. 

The idea of starting a support group for people stopping Ads has been on my mind for years... how is that going? Any advice? I keep putting it off for a couple or reasons I don't know how to start... I am never well enough long enough and I am a bit scared of the Establishment backlash as unlike you I have not education to back me up. 

I wish you peace and I hope you get back to me...
B

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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