waves12: 8 months after cold turkey and can barely cope

[waves12]

It is horrible for sure. Can't settle at all this last few days. Hard to distract. Just wait for bedtime all day. Even then it continues and sleep is minimum. 

I hope it goes away.

Thanks Alice 

[waves12]

My anxiety is off the scale this last few weeks, I almost phoned an ambulance several times but then would be sectioned and drugged, seems a nice thought at times.

 

I am struggling so badly with anxiety that I can barely get out of bed never mind leave the house.

 

How am i ever going to recover from this?

 

Anyone else relate and recovered from this high anxiety, it has me by the throat and I am very scared, no life at all, not seeing anyone becasue I am a jittering shaking mess. Going to lose everything and everyone and have lost lots of friends already as they cant coppe with how I am and that I cant go out.

 

Spoke to one of my sons this morning and he was very upset wants me to see a shrink.

 

I cant go on like this and I dont know what to do anymore.

 

If anyone can offer any help at all I would appreciate it very much.

[Goosie]

I feel like I can’t go on either.   It’s been like this for 1.5 years now.   Somehow we will get through this 

[waves12]

44 minutes ago, Goosie said:

I feel like I can’t go on either.   It’s been like this for 1.5 years now.   Somehow we will get through this 

Thanks for reply. Its a terrible way to live. I feel like i am losing hope and just cant see an end at all, its 39 months for me now and anxiety been so bad now for over a year. Exected to be done with symptoms by now.

[BAT]

You have been off meds for 39 months?

What ere you on?

Do you have any other symptoms?

 

 

I have been off 36 months and still going through a very hard time. 

I was also on many AD''s being switched so many times because of side effects, being c/t off all of them.  

[pinkfairy]

Hi waves 

 

never lose hope ever.

Even when you feel like you can’t take another minute that is when the tide can turn for anybody.

Its a long road but it’s the one that’s bringing you back home to your self.

Just keep holding on & keep going no matter.

Even when you are breathing the CNS is healing.

Every single symtom is healing in action.

❤️

[Alice1]

Hi Waves ..

You are healing . This is what it feels like .. Experts have said that this healing can take a very long time . 8-10 years sometimes . You've invested nearly 3.5 of those years already ..Give it more time .. Also , as we've discussed privately , we need to reduce as much stress as possible . Our CNS is inflamed and we need to soothe it as much as possible .. Just like how a broken bone needs a cast . Unlike regular cells , neurons take way way longer to heal .. Create the best environment you can to assist that .. Regular non medication anxiety disorders are fueled and continued by stress alone , and fearing the way we feel is a HUGE stressor .. Don't think for a second that this doesn't apply to us ..  Also , we can't expect to calm ourselves down and feel better right away .. We have to practice calming ourselves for months before we see the slightest change .. Passive acceptance .. Then when we see that change it starts to get easier .. Easier said than done I know , but that's what it is ..

[waves12]

6 hours ago, BAT said:

You have been off meds for 39 months?

What ere you on?

Do you have any other symptoms?

 

 

I have been off 36 months and still going through a very hard time. 

I was also on many AD''s being switched so many times because of side effects, being c/t off all of them.  

Hi Bat

I was on many different Ad's over the years and was switched many times over a 25 year period. Also had Zopiclone for 10 years a sleeping pill which is like a benzo I have learnt. All cold turkey. I didn't know any better at the time and hadn't found this site. So yes 39 months now since. 

I have pains come and go and recently frequent urination which put my anxiety up through the roof as was so scared of what was wrong. All tests done and nothing found so it's anxiety and stress. 

 

Also have pelvic pain now and its very painful to sit down and all to due with clenching muscles because of frequency. 

I am a mess in all ways. 

Depression has seeped back with all this but the anxiety is the big one and hard to function at all. 

 

How are you doing? What are your days like?

[waves12]

5 hours ago, pinkfairy said:

Hi waves 

 

never lose hope ever.

Even when you feel like you can’t take another minute that is when the tide can turn for anybody.

Its a long road but it’s the one that’s bringing you back home to your self.

Just keep holding on & keep going no matter.

Even when you are breathing the CNS is healing.

Every single symtom is healing in action.

❤️

Thanks Pink

 

So kind of you to comment. 

I read your reply too on the other part. 

Pleased you moving fwd with good acceptance. Was ready to call crisis team today but know that's not gonna help. 

It's such a long time to feel so bad and I have new symptoms in the last 3 months which have taken me down and down.

Anxiety is unmanageable and can't get a grip on it now and fight flight is just constant and so scarey.

[waves12]

5 hours ago, Alice1 said:

Hi Waves ..

You are healing . This is what it feels like .. Experts have said that this healing can take a very long time . 8-10 years sometimes . You've invested nearly 3.5 of those years already ..Give it more time .. Also , as we've discussed privately , we need to reduce as much stress as possible . Our CNS is inflamed and we need to soothe it as much as possible .. Just like how a broken bone needs a cast . Unlike regular cells , neurons take way way longer to heal .. Create the best environment you can to assist that .. Regular non medication anxiety disorders are fueled and continued by stress alone , and fearing the way we feel is a HUGE stressor .. Don't think for a second that this doesn't apply to us ..  Also , we can't expect to calm ourselves down and feel better right away .. We have to practice calming ourselves for months before we see the slightest change .. Passive acceptance .. Then when we see that change it starts to get easier .. Easier said than done I know , but that's what it is ..

Thanks Alice1

I know all you say it true and thanks for replying today I really needed it. 

With my new symptoms I have lost the plot with fear and stress and frequent bathroom visits are very distressing. 

My acceptance over this is nil. Not helpful at all to be angry and stressed over it. 

As you say have to keep practising ways to reduce stress, it's very hard to do and I am in a constant state of fear 24/7. Sleep is bad and up to bathroom every few hours and each time I have to get up anxiety kicks in and then awake from 3am/4am every night. So exhausted in every way. 

Meditation is hard as mind overrides it. 

Need to learn to calm down again. 

Again thank you for your encouraging words. 

Hope you doing ok today and not suffering too much. 

Waves 

[pinkfairy]

On 9/21/2019 at 10:05 PM, waves12 said:

Thanks Pink

 

So kind of you to comment. 

I read your reply too on the other part. 

Pleased you moving fwd with good acceptance. Was ready to call crisis team today but know that's not gonna help. 

It's such a long time to feel so bad and I have new symptoms in the last 3 months which have taken me down and down.

Anxiety is unmanageable and can't get a grip on it now and fight flight is just constant and so scarey.

 

I hear you totally waves.I am sorry I really understand the anxiety part it’s like it’s a mind of its own.

All chemical.

 

Last year I was involved with them but there a disgrace.It was that day forward I thought no more they made me worse.

 

 

you are going to be okay the sun will rise again ♥️🌈

[thecowisback]

sorry to hear you are still struggling waves  i hate that thing when you get up to use the bathroom and within seconds BANG your thoughts are torturing you and stopping you getting back to sleep 😪

[waves12]

It's over 4 years since my cold turkey off Ad's. I still have no life to speak off and just a shell. Have lost my life to this and little hope of recovery. Friends and family sick of me and almost all gone now. Housebound most days as anxiety is so extreme and can barely get a meal for myself. I feel like the walking dead. I doubt I can carry on living with this level of anxiety and depression plus have no job now and lost most people dear to me. What a waste of a life. Prior to this my life was ok and fully functional and a useful mum and grandma to my son's now just a waste of space and they will be glad if I go away for good. None of this 4 years has been good it has ruined my life. Sorry to say all this but take it as a warning if you gonna get off these drugs you just don't know how it's gonna go. 

[Goosie]

So sorry to hear that.    I am sure you will heal in time.   Stressful things like losing friends makes things harder- but you will find new friends when you feel better.     Please don’t worry about that- I also lost a lot of friends and felt depressed about it but Now I don’t mind at all and am glad to be free of those people.      It’s so hard when you are in the middle of feeling awful, but you will feel better eventually.   I will keep you in my prayers.   

[waves12]

1 hour ago, Goosie said:

So sorry to hear that.    I am sure you will heal in time.   Stressful things like losing friends makes things harder- but you will find new friends when you feel better.     Please don’t worry about that- I also lost a lot of friends and felt depressed about it but Now I don’t mind at all and am glad to be free of those people.      It’s so hard when you are in the middle of feeling awful, but you will feel better eventually.   I will keep you in my prayers.   

Thanks for your kind words. The last two years has been hell on earth. My baby grandson died aged 5 months and not seen my son since which was March 2019. A doubt  bereavement it feels and I live alone and feel broken into a million pieces. I really can't cope at all. If I were braver I would get back on meds but just don't know how that would go. Maybe feel worse and that is not a place I can go right now as it could be fatal. I hope you are doing ok. And thanks agsin for reply.  

[Goosie]

What a terrible tragedy.   That sounds impossibly hard to deal with even with perfect health.     Being alone is also difficult.     I was lucky enough to have an understanding partner which helped tremendously.     If you need someone to talk to, just send me a direct message and I’ll give you my phone #.    

[thecowisback]

On 9/13/2020 at 6:31 PM, waves12 said:

Thanks for your kind words. The last two years has been hell on earth. My baby grandson died aged 5 months and not seen my son since which was March 2019. A doubt  bereavement it feels and I live alone and feel broken into a million pieces. I really can't cope at all. If I were braver I would get back on meds but just don't know how that would go. Maybe feel worse and that is not a place I can go right now as it could be fatal. I hope you are doing ok. And thanks agsin for reply.  

 

so terribly sad to hear about your grandson passing xxxxxxx

[Manati]

On 9/13/2020 at 7:31 PM, waves12 said:

Thanks for your kind words. The last two years has been hell on earth. My baby grandson died aged 5 months and not seen my son since which was March 2019. A doubt  bereavement it feels and I live alone and feel broken into a million pieces. I really can't cope at all. If I were braver I would get back on meds but just don't know how that would go. Maybe feel worse and that is not a place I can go right now as it could be fatal. I hope you are doing ok. And thanks agsin for reply.  

 

..just stopping by to say I'm so sorry for your loss, Waves, and that you have to live through such difficult times!! You are not alone out there, we are all in this together. Sending you hugs!!!

[Aurorax]

Hi again @waves12I post this here instead of in Aeromans topic.

 

I understand. If you are worse now than a few years ago, then it’s probably not wd, at least not only wd. That’s a good thing because then you can do something about it. And if the therapists say you need drugs, then you haven’t found the right ones yet. That is a terrible thing to say to someone anxious and in grief, and it’s not true. You do have the capacity to handle your emotions and your situation. The fact that you are still here proves that. But it seems to me that you carry a lot of emotional pain from your losses and that you need to get that off your chest. ❤️
   I wish I knew someone I could recommend, but I don’t know any therapists in the UK. Maybe someone else here on SA could help you with that? Or you can reach out to people on other forums and see if they can recommend someone. Keep looking.

 

Aurorax