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Kayann: Tapering risperdol, need advice


Kayann

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I began tapering risperdol Feb 2017. It's been about 6 weeks now. I taper 5% every week. My original dose was 1mg each night. I am now at .70mg. I have no physical symptoms but the mental symptoms are the same as the side effects only much worse. The side effects are derealization, severe brain fog, severe depression, emotional flatness and what feels like lowered I.Q. I am sleeping fine and my appetite is good. I didn't gain any weight while on this poison and instead lost quite a bit. I have been taking risperdol for 3 years. I started at 2mg and lowered the dose to 1mg about one year ago. I was told by my pdoc that I could go off of it and I jumped at the chance. He tapered me way too fast and I think I experienced a psychosis or extremely high anxiety. I reinstated at that time. 

 

(I hope this post makes sense. I'm not thinking too clearly.)

 

My question is, will these side effects start to diminish while I'm tapering? Will this start to go away as I am ingesting less and less drug? I've read many horror stories online and I'm really reaching for some success stories. I'm very afraid that these side effects will last long after the taper is complete. I am so depressed and do very little but sit on the sofa. I have to force myself to do anything and I have no interest in anything at all. Nothing brings me joy and I cannot feel love anymore. I don't laugh and I don't cry. I am zombie like. It is completely miserable. I've lost everything since I started this med. I've made very bad choices and lost my relationship, my job and my home. I am now living with my grown daughter and her husband. Without them I'd be homeless. 

 

Any advice would be very much welcome and appreciated. Thank you.

Edited by ChessieCat
drugs tags & spacing

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome Kayann,

 

Thank you for joining, posting an introduction and for filling in your signature. I'm so sorry for what risperdol has done to your health and life. But I'm glad you found us, many of us here have experienced similar harmful consequences as a result of these drugs, you will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Don't worry, your writing if fine, and your post makes sense.

 

My first concern after reading through what you wrote is that you may be tapering too fast. Its understandable you would want to come off as fast as possible, because of the damaging side effects. But you say your symptoms have become worse since you began tapering, this is a sign you are reducing too fast.

 

We suggest reducing by no more than 10% of the current dose every 4 weeks, this reduces the risk of withdrawal symptoms arising. Please read through this which will explain why:

  

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

At 5% per week, you are tapering at twice the rate we recommend.

 

Here is some more information specific to tapering risperdol:  Tips for tapering off Risperdal (risperidone)

 

Are you still experiencing akathisia? Has this become worse since you began tapering? If you are still experiencing this side effect, it would be a reason to taper faster, because this truly is intolerable, I know, I've experienced it. Often this side effect will subside at a lower dose. But apart from that, if your other symptoms have become worse, I would suggest you hold for now until you have stabilized again, and then resume tapering at the slower rate we suggest.

 

Its good that you are still able to sleep and eat, quality sleep and good nutrition aid the recovery process.

 

You mention Latuda in your signature, were you taking this before risperdal? Please would you add some dates to both latuda and risperdal in your signature. It will help to clarify your history.

 

To answer your question about how long symptoms last. Everyone is different, some people find that troubling side effects are reduced as the dose gets lower, but others find it takes a while after being drug free to return to normal. Eventually, everyone does start to feel better though.

 

But if your symptoms are now being caused by withdrawal from tapering too fast, then they are likely to get worse, not better if you don't slow your taper.

 

My advice would be to stop tapering for now, and monitor your symptoms. If they improve over the next few weeks while you are not tapering, then that's a clue you were going too fast and you may want to resume at a slower rate.

 

Here is a topic to help with this:  Rate symptoms daily to track patterns and progress

 

We have some success stories here:  Recovery Success Stories

 

And some videos to help you understand more about the recovery process:

 

 

 

 

You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want. Its a good idea to bookmark it or follow it, so its easy to find again.

 

I’m glad you found us, we’re here to support you.

 

Petunia.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Hi Kayann, I feel your pain I took 4mg of risperidone for around 2-3 months and I stopped around December this year.

 

I have waves and windows of feeling normal then feeling quite emotionless and flat. It gets better though with time, also acupuncture can help if you find a good practitioner and ask for calming treatments.

 

I spend lots of time with my nieces and nephew and they make me feel love again as they know some thing is troubling me and they try instinctively anything sweet and nice to me to make me smile or happy!

 

I hope you make some progress soon. I feel my akathinesia has improved a lot.

 

How are you doing?

 

Peter

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Thank you for your response. I'm not doing well. I have a lot of anxiety, depression and anhedonia. It seems the side effects are even worse during taper. I have no physical symptoms at all, thank God. I've got about 12 weeks left if I don't hold at some point.

It's a horrible drug and I cannot wait to be off.

Thank you again.

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Increasing symptoms while tapering are usually withdrawal symptoms and a sign you need to slow down. Please read through the first two links I posted and also this one:

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Help. I'm tapering risperdol and I'm looking for any success stories. I'm obsessed with searching the internet and can't find any success stories. I need some encouragement. I'm very afraid of this drug and what it's done to me. Please help.

Edited by scallywag
merged 2nd intro topic

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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Risperidone is a very harsh drug, thank god you're coming off of it.  i took it for about 3 weeks but i had injections which made it last around 5 weeks as i recall.  please make sure you stay off the drug once you're off.  

 

i went off cold turkey because i hated it and it was painful, the withdrawal was even worse. also i consider "withdrawal" not a good word to describe the after effect of stopping the drug because withdrawals are usually associated with stuff that makes you feel good, risperidone doesn't even feel good but it seems to have some angry effect after one comes off cold turkey.  

 

i am recovering from risperidone and i feel almost normal. i sincerely believe every sickness has it's cure.  anyone else reading this who is taking risperidone please message me if you need something.

 

also, please get your blood tested, it's a possibility that these drugs deplete some vitamins/minerals, i heard that from a doctor who is very very close with me.  

In March 2016 i suffered from a paranoia/schizophrenic episode which resulted in me taking risperidone/risperdal 3mg for about 3 weeks along with a couple 7mg long acting injections.  i had an intense withdrawal after stopping cold turkey and i have been off risperidone ever since then.

 

 

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Hi Kayann---

 

I really understand your feelings about Risperidal. I too obsessively search the internet for success stories. They're out there, but they seem to be outnumbered by horror stories. However, there is hope. I am currently tapering off. I had a terrible time transitioning from 2 mg to 1. I had violent mood swings, intense depression, fear and severe suicidal ideation. Then things evened out. I am currently at 0.25, and each time I taper, the fog seems to lift more. My friends say that I am regaining my personality. I can think more clearly. I can think of what to say to people. I am still not 100% there. My thought process is slow. I worry that I will never be as smart as I once was.

 

But mostly I am hopeful and I think that you should be too. The brain has a tremendous capacity to heal itself. Try not to read too many negative stories. You might check out the website Beyondmeds. They have whole sections on tapering, healing and recovery. I have found it to be a great resource.  I wish you all the best on your journey. I hope that you post again with updates on your progress.

Edited by scallywag
merged 2nd intro topic
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  • Administrator

Welcome, Kayann.

 

See our Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal forum. Also, you might go to the Introductions forum and search for Risperdal to see how people are tapering it.

 

I'm moving this topic to the Introductions forum as your introduction topic. Please put any other questions in this topic, and track your progress tapering by updating it.

 

How much Risperdal are you taking? For how long? Do you have any side effects?

Edited by scallywag
merged 2nd intro topic

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm not finished with my taper yet. I'm down to .40mg from 1mg. I've done that in 3 months and I have 2months left.

 

I have been on risperdal for over 2years. I experienced depression, anxiety, brain fog, anhedonia, cognitive issues, stiff muscles, tremors, derealization, extreme weight loss. Early in the taper the side effects seemed to magnify but in the last week I've had several very promising Windows. My feelings came back. (I forgot...I also had emotional flatness.) I felt like my old self. I went to my volunteer job and my concentration was surprisingly good. Went grocery shopping and my focus was there and walking was not awkward or uncomfortable. My thoughts were not dark and hopeless. I am healing.

 

I'm tapering at 5% each week. I know that's supposed to be too fast but I tapered valium the same way and that went smoothly. I ingest whey protein every morning, take magnesium malate, D3, fish oil, B12. I stay away from sugar and caffeine. I drink tons of water. Severe depression makes it so hard but I tried to move my body as much as possible. I eat a healthy, balanced diet. I believed, really believed that my self would come back once this poison was out of me. And even though I'm still tapering, I'm also healing and definitely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I searched and searched for success stories regarding discontinuation of risperdal and could find very few. I am posting this to hopefully offer hope to anyone who may be in the same boat. That dark, hopeless feeling is like a death. Grieving the loss of your very personality is excruciating. I'm here to tell everyone that recovery is definitely possible and life will be good and healthy again.

 

Since I started taking risperdal, I lost everything; my job, my home and my relationship. I'm 59 yrs old and I'm faced with rebuilding my life from nothing. I'm still grateful...so grateful for the amazing healing from this awful poison.

 

I've always been strong and independent. For a time I thought that part of me was gone, that risperdal stole it and for over 2 years it did. I have been trapped inside myself and I'm finally being released. Thank God.

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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Fantastic news Kayann! gives us hope and must feel incredible.

 

I would perhaps caution that you've only felt a bit normal for about a week. It might be a window, and you could yet have more waves!

 

I'm just dampening expectations as I've come to learn this pattern too well. I've had a few amazing windows. Nothing now for seven weeks.

 

However, even if the window is temporary, it's a sign that recovery is absolutely taking place. Keep us posted!

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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I've just read your earlier posts and can absolutely emphatise with your zombie, no feeling, no interest mode, it's quite the horror show when in it

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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Yes, I do realize that this could be a window. Or it could be the result of starting the magnesium malate just a week ago. Either way, I am healing and that is a miracle in itself. What I forgot to mention is that since I dropped down to 0.40mg I haven't had restless legs, which I've had every night after my dose. That as well is very good news. I don't want another wave, of course, but that's part of healing too. I know this is coming to an end.

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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How long since you felt any emotion/focus before this week?

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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2 years or more. I did feel something right after a colonoscopy for about 4 hours. But that quickly faded and I was in the dark again. I've been slowly and very subtly feeling bit by bit for the past week. But yesterday and today have been very significant.

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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wow!!! you're entitled to celebrate so!! incredible. I get such hope from these stories. I haven't had a good moment in 7 weeks but two years! savour it ;)

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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Yes! I certainly am. It's like waking up from a very bad dream, a nightmare actually. I was beginning to lose hope. Read a lot of frightening stories. This window, this healing experience has renewed my hope to be sure.

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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Can you give more specifics to feed our hope? enjoying nature more? music sounding good? a hint of excitement???

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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Yes....I enjoy music again, had some lovely conversation with my daughter and it held my interest easily, went grocery shopping and enjoyed all the many choices, easily disregarded negative thoughts and changed to positive, felt optimistic about my future when before I felt life was over. I was myself again. But now, this evening, I'm feeling a bit of anxiety, small amount of fear, loneliness. I'm not completely in the dark but I'm on the edge. I'm watching a comedy and I sincerely laughed out loud just a minute ago.

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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It's been 24 hours since I originally posted. That window was wonderful. Today is bad. I only slept about 2 hours last night. The depression and everything that goes with it is back. I'm feeling fearful and hopeless. It's another wave. Anxiety is so bad I'm getting dizzy. I'm also freezing to death and keep having chills. The window is gone for now. But I still know I'm healing and will have another window.

Edited by scallywag
moved from a topic started in the Success Story forum

I started buspar 15mg 2X daily in 2015, propanalol 40mg 2X daily in 2016. I am currently tapering risperdol from 1mg 1X daily. I am tapering at 5% per week. The side effects of the risperdol are as follows; derealization, brain fog, emotional flatness, depression, akathisia and what feels like a lowered IQ. I will taper from buspar when I recover from my taper of risperdol. I take the propanalol for tremors I acquired from latuda and risperdol. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

How are you now kayann?

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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  • 3 years later...
  • Administrator

@Kayann how are you?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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