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What happened to Beyond Meds blog?


Stormstrong
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The page says that it's a protected blog now, and I can't view anything, though I've created a Wordpress account and requested an invite to the blog. Still the same message. That blog is really my life line. Help?

2000: Paxil, low dose. 2001: Paxil, quickly tapered off. 2006: Zoloft, 25mg. 2007: Wellbutrin, low dose, discontinued after a week or a month. 2007-2009: Zoloft, increasing dose (up to 75mg). 2009-2011: Zoloft, failed withdrawal attempts (cold-turkey; fast tapering). 2009-2011: Trying out Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanax. 2012-2015: Zoloft, 100mg to 200mg. 2013: Trazadone for Zoloft-induced insomnia, 25mg to 50mg.  2015: Trileptal, dose?, withdrew; Bupropion, up to 200mg. 2016: Zoloft, 137mg, Bupropion, 150mg, Trazodone, 25mg.

05/21/16: Began Zoloft taper - 10% from 150mg - 137ish mg

06/23/16: Zoloft taper - 125mg

08/03/16: Bupropion XL taper - cut 150mg pill in crude half (mistake)

10/31: Zoloft successfully down to 100mg. Staying on 100mg for 2-3 months to let my brain rest.

11/09: Wellbutrin SR prescribed, 150mg once a day, for withdrawal.

12/11: Wellbutrin SR, twice daily - minus 18ishmg = 112.50mg

09/30/17: Off Wellbutrin SR successfully. Zoloft taper: 90ish mg (shaving it off). Trazodone: still at 50mg.

June 2018: Zoloft: 80ish (shaving off). Trazodone: 6mg. End of 2018: Off Trazodone.

01/20: Zoloft: 70ish?

08/20: Still around 80 or 70. Tapering by only 15 shaves each month.

04/2021: 50mg!

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I noticed that too.  Let me know if you find a way in again.  Hopefully just some new technical challenges and the kinks will be worked out soon.  I found myself recently really set back and need that site as well right now for a life line too.  Maybe Monica is still recovering post traveling and is having to take things real slow?

 

Best,

mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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I read on Twitter, Monica said she  pulled the plug on her blog I think.

90 mg armour thyroid, Metroprolol 25 mg,

B12 ez melts, active B complex, vitamin D3, Nystatin, SloFe, Magnesium citrate, fish oil.

Nearly 30 years of benzos,  antidepressants, antipsychotics etc...took a lot of them.

Drug free September 9, 2019

Mold illness (CIRS) from Stachybotris and Aspergillus November 2020-present.  

 

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13 hours ago, Marsha said:

I read on Twitter, Monica said she  pulled the plug on her blog I think.

 

oh my god :(

2000: Paxil, low dose. 2001: Paxil, quickly tapered off. 2006: Zoloft, 25mg. 2007: Wellbutrin, low dose, discontinued after a week or a month. 2007-2009: Zoloft, increasing dose (up to 75mg). 2009-2011: Zoloft, failed withdrawal attempts (cold-turkey; fast tapering). 2009-2011: Trying out Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanax. 2012-2015: Zoloft, 100mg to 200mg. 2013: Trazadone for Zoloft-induced insomnia, 25mg to 50mg.  2015: Trileptal, dose?, withdrew; Bupropion, up to 200mg. 2016: Zoloft, 137mg, Bupropion, 150mg, Trazodone, 25mg.

05/21/16: Began Zoloft taper - 10% from 150mg - 137ish mg

06/23/16: Zoloft taper - 125mg

08/03/16: Bupropion XL taper - cut 150mg pill in crude half (mistake)

10/31: Zoloft successfully down to 100mg. Staying on 100mg for 2-3 months to let my brain rest.

11/09: Wellbutrin SR prescribed, 150mg once a day, for withdrawal.

12/11: Wellbutrin SR, twice daily - minus 18ishmg = 112.50mg

09/30/17: Off Wellbutrin SR successfully. Zoloft taper: 90ish mg (shaving it off). Trazodone: still at 50mg.

June 2018: Zoloft: 80ish (shaving off). Trazodone: 6mg. End of 2018: Off Trazodone.

01/20: Zoloft: 70ish?

08/20: Still around 80 or 70. Tapering by only 15 shaves each month.

04/2021: 50mg!

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I hope not........as far as what Marsha said........that she pulled the plug on her blog.  I don't twitter.  Anyhoo I went on in and requested an invite.  I do recall her posting that she was swamped.......probably here.  So I am hoping that she is just doing catch up on many other things that she does........ and that my request for invite will go through in time.

 

Stormstrong you might want to do the same.  Just follow the wordpress instructions to request an invite.   Meanwhile........patience and best to us all, as I still believe it is possible.

 

On 10/25/2017 at 9:42 PM, Marsha said:

 

I read on Twitter, Monica said she  pulled the plug on her blog I think

 

Are you sure Marsha???.............maybe it was just heresay??  Idk........I guess we will find out in time.  I would imagine she would post something here in her success story when she gets caught on up.

 

Love, peace, recovery/healing, growth, and self care to the maximum!!

manymoretodays:blink::huh::)

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Hi all.

 

I did some research yesterday on Twitter.

 

Someone asked Monica:

Monica where is your blog??
 
And the answer was:
gone. sorry. I need to move on. desperately. the decision did not come easy. I'm sorry it's going to be missed by many.
 
I found another tweet some days old.
Someone else wrote:
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from #Mentalhealth#advocacy since 2004 is to never give it so much importance that it becomes your life
 
And Monica answered: 
I just took down my blog. COMPLETELY gone. Feels ******* awesome.
 
I answered, too, and asked her:
 
It will be heardly missed by many. Still respect your decision, maybe part of a healing process?
 
And she wrote:
 
absolutely...this is all about self-care and all I ever talked about really...this action is in keeping with what I was sharing all along.
 
 
I am sorry there are no better news and all the Information is gone for this moment.
 
 
 
 
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i think there is a point where many people end up "moving on". To think day in and day out about this stuff--drugs, WD, mental health, etc-- can sort of hold you back in your own healing...if that makes sense. Not that its completely bad or harmful, but there does seem to be a point where there is a new chapter. 

 

I myself had long periods of time where I completely put out of my mind anything to do with WD, AD, psychiatry, etc. IT felt nice. I am at a point now where I can share my experience without it taking up too much of my time/over thinking/worrying. Dont forget that for many of us, this WD was literally a traumatic experience, both mental and physical. It was hell. Its nice to just put that behind you. 

 

Its still great to help others and offer my support but also this stuff is behind me. It was a very dark time in my life--years of suffering, lost time, etc---once you all heal up, keep moving forward and dont look back; dont get stuck in that sick and victim state, if that makes sense. 

Various SSRIs/SNRIs 7- 1/2 years

Went Cold Turkey from Celexa 2011, Stayed Off

Psych Drug Free and Loving Life (over 6 years and counting)

 

How I Stay Well: Diet, exercise, meditation, supplements, etc

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Oh.  Thanks bruno and line.  And sorry Stormstrong .........as I see you did put in a request for an invite, as did I.......probably a moot point by now.

 

Truly happy for Monica then.  And many thanks for all she did do.......and share........for so long.

 

2 hours ago, bruno2016 said:

Its still great to help others and offer my support but also this stuff is behind me. It was a very dark time in my life--years of suffering, lost time, etc---once you all heal up, keep moving forward and dont look back; dont get stuck in that sick and victim state, if that makes sense. 

 

This.  Good.  Hit home.  Thank you too bruno. 

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Yeah, I get that she's moving on - but - even if she didn't tend it, and left it read-only - it was a beacon of information and hope to the rest of us who still struggle.  There are few resources which are accurate, thoughtful and uplifting all at the same time.

 

I'm disappointed.  I'd like to see it "out there," even if she doesn't maintain it.

 

It's possible to kiss the child and let it go, and let the child be it's own thing.

 

 

It's like smashing pots or destroying art - when the art could stand on it's own, set free - not even associated with the artist.

 

How many people have appreciated this sculpture - 

7cb4e84062ff6101b88468e9235195af.jpg

 

In it's various forms - and in ways that the original artist did not intend or plan for?

It's "out there," now, and people use it in all kinds of ways.

 

That's how I feel Beyond Meds should be for us.  It has a life of its own, she doesn't need to maintain it - just lock the pages, and let it fly.

 

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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I wish I could get access to her amazon store. She had so much good stuff in there. 

I was on Seroquel from 2008-2016 because Seroquel doesn't cause akathisia (in my case) and all other drugs do.   

 

I am tapering slowly off Seroquel- got down to 393.75mg, Fall 2016 ... 3% taper still couldn't keep me from hospital. 

 

Hospital stay switched me to 300 clozapine/clozaril.

 

Summer 2017: slowly cut and weighed clozapine/clozaril from 300mg to 275mg over 3 months. 

 
 

 

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9 hours ago, JanCarol said:

Yeah, I get that she's moving on - but - even if she didn't tend it, and left it read-only - it was a beacon of information and hope to the rest of us who still struggle.  There are few resources which are accurate, thoughtful and uplifting all at the same time.

 

I'm disappointed.  I'd like to see it "out there," even if she doesn't maintain it.

 

It's possible to kiss the child and let it go, and let the child be it's own thing.

 

 

It's like smashing pots or destroying art - when the art could stand on it's own, set free - not even associated with the artist.

 

How many people have appreciated this sculpture - 

7cb4e84062ff6101b88468e9235195af.jpg

 

In it's various forms - and in ways that the original artist did not intend or plan for?

It's "out there," now, and people use it in all kinds of ways.

 

That's how I feel Beyond Meds should be for us.  It has a life of its own, she doesn't need to maintain it - just lock the pages, and let it fly.

 

 

3 hours ago, VitaminB said:

I wish I could get access to her amazon store. She had so much good stuff in there. 

 

Is there not someone here with access to Monica's Twitter, who can BEG her to leave the blog up, as well as her Amazon store? Or a recent least tell her how heartbreaking it is to lose all access to so much priceless information of HOPE, LIGHT, and Healing? There has to be a better option for letting go of the blog yet allowing it to just Be. 

 

:'( :'(

2000: Paxil, low dose. 2001: Paxil, quickly tapered off. 2006: Zoloft, 25mg. 2007: Wellbutrin, low dose, discontinued after a week or a month. 2007-2009: Zoloft, increasing dose (up to 75mg). 2009-2011: Zoloft, failed withdrawal attempts (cold-turkey; fast tapering). 2009-2011: Trying out Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanax. 2012-2015: Zoloft, 100mg to 200mg. 2013: Trazadone for Zoloft-induced insomnia, 25mg to 50mg.  2015: Trileptal, dose?, withdrew; Bupropion, up to 200mg. 2016: Zoloft, 137mg, Bupropion, 150mg, Trazodone, 25mg.

05/21/16: Began Zoloft taper - 10% from 150mg - 137ish mg

06/23/16: Zoloft taper - 125mg

08/03/16: Bupropion XL taper - cut 150mg pill in crude half (mistake)

10/31: Zoloft successfully down to 100mg. Staying on 100mg for 2-3 months to let my brain rest.

11/09: Wellbutrin SR prescribed, 150mg once a day, for withdrawal.

12/11: Wellbutrin SR, twice daily - minus 18ishmg = 112.50mg

09/30/17: Off Wellbutrin SR successfully. Zoloft taper: 90ish mg (shaving it off). Trazodone: still at 50mg.

June 2018: Zoloft: 80ish (shaving off). Trazodone: 6mg. End of 2018: Off Trazodone.

01/20: Zoloft: 70ish?

08/20: Still around 80 or 70. Tapering by only 15 shaves each month.

04/2021: 50mg!

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Yeah, I don't get it, Monica taking her blog down forever. Doesn't really make sense to me. You can move on while still leaving your legacy behind. Maybe she got weary of people contacting her via her blog for advice. Maybe she was getting hassled or harassed. I've seen her presence on Mad in America fairly recently, so it's puzzling that she just quit this blog altogether.  I do so respect her and her work, like so many others on SA. Monica's a shining jewel amidst all of this darkness. I too wish she'd reconsider. 

Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.

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23 minutes ago, DrugfreeProf said:

 I do so respect her and her work

 

We also need to respect Monica's decision.  She may just need time to regain her life and after a while feel that she can have the site up as a non-active site.

 

However, she does have a large presence on the internet and she may be concerned about people contacting her via other sites.  If this happened, then it will intrude on her "new" life.

 

I can absolutely understand why she may not to keep her blog online.  She created it to help herself through really tough times.  Many have benefited from it which is great.  She probably didn't expect that to happen.  Sometimes we have to close a chapter in our life and not return to it for our own well being.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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I understand, I do. . .this is the kind of experience that any sane person would want to forget and put behind them. But I also have a part of me that says that we do  not live on this earth, and go through these ordeals, only for ourselves. I believe we are part of a great big web in which each and every one of us can  and does gain from the collective experiences of the rest of us.

I just have always felt that everything has a bigger purpose. . .including, especially, our own suffering and what we do with it.  So everything Monica went through and learned and shared with us was perhaps part of the purpose for what she went through. Just my humble opinion, based on my personal philosophy. 

In any event, this is NOT meant as a judgment on Monica, who has already contributed immensely to the world via her blog and many other contributions across the net.  Having said all of the above, we are, first and foremost, responsible for keeping ourselves healthy and alive. If that's what she's doing and why she discontinued her blog, well, then she's doing what she's supposed to be doing!

But I do feel sad, and I miss her writings already.

Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.

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I agree with you all.  Sad and miss her too.  Hoping the site/blog will go back up as it, as far as I know, was a resource (with a huge amount of really decent putting thoughts into words by Monica herself and other's whose stuff she shared).......that we could all use to further help not only ourselves but others that.........well........I certainly come across many others whose time may come and be sparked by my own experiences.  As Monica/beyond meds and "Anatomy of an Epidemic"(the book) were my inspirations to get free.   In fact I found this site after perusing beyondmeds. 

 

So hopefully......it will be ? archived or something soon enough or put in some e-book for purchase form or hard copy??  Don't know.  Maybe some of you other bloggers know how that kind of thing works?  Lol......I'm pretty certain she's not off to work for the government or a pharmaceutical company.  Maybe she will do some internet/face time counseling for pay thing now.  Or speaking and travel......I think she wanted to expand there.   That would be great too.  I can't imagine she is going on out to pasture........I feel certain she is on to something higher priority with maybe ? a conflict of interest or something to that effect.  I don't think it's a forever thing in anycase.......maybe just me.......I think we just have to be patient somehow.

 

We love and miss you Monica and thank you so very much for what you did for me indirectly.  (Idk.....maybe if we all keep posting she'll let us know the what's and why's)  She's got postings here in "Success Stories" too.........just can't link anymore to beyondmeds.

 

It's all good enough.

 

Love, peace, recovery/healing, and growth(at any age)

mmt

 

 

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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It saddens me that Monica closed her blog "Beyond Meds". I'm sure she had her reasons but what a shame for everyone. It was such a great repository of information. It is not to be the same but am working on a website called Healing America Now that has been birthed from the results and experiences from my Cymbalta Hurts Worse group. We have over 11,000 members now. There is such a need for public exposure of these drugs with healthy alternatives. Due out sometime early 2018. Still, just so sad about Monica's decision. Broken-hearted. 

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so much wisdom in that blog... dig just a centimeter, and it all came gushing forth. I'd barely scratched the surface of her blog. Still processing (poorly) this event.

 

On the flip coin side is my sense of entitlement to such a gift... not realizing the many strings in place which allowed her to offer it freely...

 

In a darkening world, it was a powerful candle to us all. In its absence the darkness looms, and it's very scary. Don't know where to go

from here.

 

Maybe we'll create something from the shards of our memories of Beyond Meds, and from our grief

2000: Paxil, low dose. 2001: Paxil, quickly tapered off. 2006: Zoloft, 25mg. 2007: Wellbutrin, low dose, discontinued after a week or a month. 2007-2009: Zoloft, increasing dose (up to 75mg). 2009-2011: Zoloft, failed withdrawal attempts (cold-turkey; fast tapering). 2009-2011: Trying out Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanax. 2012-2015: Zoloft, 100mg to 200mg. 2013: Trazadone for Zoloft-induced insomnia, 25mg to 50mg.  2015: Trileptal, dose?, withdrew; Bupropion, up to 200mg. 2016: Zoloft, 137mg, Bupropion, 150mg, Trazodone, 25mg.

05/21/16: Began Zoloft taper - 10% from 150mg - 137ish mg

06/23/16: Zoloft taper - 125mg

08/03/16: Bupropion XL taper - cut 150mg pill in crude half (mistake)

10/31: Zoloft successfully down to 100mg. Staying on 100mg for 2-3 months to let my brain rest.

11/09: Wellbutrin SR prescribed, 150mg once a day, for withdrawal.

12/11: Wellbutrin SR, twice daily - minus 18ishmg = 112.50mg

09/30/17: Off Wellbutrin SR successfully. Zoloft taper: 90ish mg (shaving it off). Trazodone: still at 50mg.

June 2018: Zoloft: 80ish (shaving off). Trazodone: 6mg. End of 2018: Off Trazodone.

01/20: Zoloft: 70ish?

08/20: Still around 80 or 70. Tapering by only 15 shaves each month.

04/2021: 50mg!

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I know, I know............nothing quite like it out there.  Personal favorite that comes to mind right now......."What a Shaman sees in a Mental Hospital".  More recent writings of Monica's own and another................. on just becoming, something like that, losing the mental health labels as part of one's identity, and finding where I/we belong now.

 

Grieving with you Stormstrong.............while sending out so many positive intentions for whatever is next for our dear Monica and even feeling some excitement about that. 

 

On 11/3/2017 at 8:49 PM, Stormstrong said:

so much wisdom in that blog... dig just a centimeter, and it all came gushing forth. I'd barely scratched the surface of her blog. Still processing (poorly) this event.

 

On the flip coin side is my sense of entitlement to such a gift... not realizing the many strings in place which allowed her to offer it freely...

 

In a darkening world, it was a powerful candle to us all. In its absence the darkness looms, and it's very scary. Don't know where to go

from here.

 

Maybe we'll create something from the shards of our memories of Beyond Meds, and from our grief

 

I love your post so I quoted it.  "create something from the shards of our memories of Beyond Meds and our grief"  especially.  You already are!  So well put.

 

Such a fine role model of how one makes lemonade out of lemons and bares one's soul and helps so many.  Courageous. 

 

I'll just quote a stanza from a song....."Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til it's gone...."

 

And now Idk.........enough of grief.........let's celebrate somehow.........it's healthier!

 

mmt

 

 

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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i think her contributions were invaluable, but i do understand the drive to have some 'distance' and to live for more.  healing can demand it, when those times arrive, though everyones process may differ at least a bit.  i consider similar things myself, and also take voluntary and involuntary breaks.  the few people that recognize me probably realize that i rarely visit or post here, as well, as part of my overall recovery.  indeed, my personal recovery thread remains woefully bare as that is just not where i work through stuff.

 

in my own less drastic breaks and departures, i have come to think that this is probably not the last we have heard from her in such a supportive and wide-reaching capacity.  i do understand wanting to keep things off the air indefinitely, though.  there is a connection we sometimes have to the material we put out there, and sometimes self-care involves turning our attention away through physical as well as psychological modifications.  they are, in their ways, inter-reinforcing experiences.

 

ultimately, i think a lot of things are up to us, as individuals.  it is true that she did a lot of things more capably and more insightfully than some feel able to, at the very least in present states, but i think that we all have something to offer--ourselves, each other, and the world.  she, in her efforts, has contributed to what we ourselves are offering now, and that persists longer than any webpage.

from 2005-2012, i spent 7 years taking 17 different psychotropic medications covering several classes.  i would be taking 3-7 medications at a time, and 6 out of the 17 medications listed below were maxed or overmaxed in clinical dosage before i moved on to trying the next unhelpful cocktail.
 
antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, tetracyclics): zoloft, wellbutrin, effexor, lexapro, prozac, cymbalta, remeron
antipsychotics (atypical): abilify, zyprexa, risperdal, geodon
sleep aids (benzos, off-label antidepressants & antipsychotics, hypnotics): seroquel, temazepam, trazodone, ambien
anxiolytics: buspar
anticonvulsants: topamax
 
i tapered off all psychotropics from late 2011 through early 2013, one by one.  since quitting, ive been cycling through severe, disabling withdrawal symptoms spanning the gamut of the serious, less serious, and rather worrisome side effects of these assorted medications.  previous cross-tapering and medication or dosage changes had also caused undiagnosed withdrawal symptoms.
 
brainpan addlepation

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"and ask that no one contact me for consultations or assistance"

 

I certainly hope that people respect her decision and honour her request.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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Thanks Monica!  Many of us happier recoverers/healing healers now........ :) 

 

The link to the now retired beyondmeds is 2 posts up.  Jumping for joy I am.

 

(I for one wouldn't even know how to contact her)  I think it might also be judicious to cite her site when sharing any of her personal commentaries.

 

respectfully,  love and peace and happy trails!!!

mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I'd like to know if there's a way to save Beyond Meds to my hard drive - the whole website? I don't have a good feeling about the prospect of the death of Net Neutrality here in the US. I'm afraid I'll lose access to all of these important places. Is there a way to save all of the webpages? Would anyone know?

2000: Paxil, low dose. 2001: Paxil, quickly tapered off. 2006: Zoloft, 25mg. 2007: Wellbutrin, low dose, discontinued after a week or a month. 2007-2009: Zoloft, increasing dose (up to 75mg). 2009-2011: Zoloft, failed withdrawal attempts (cold-turkey; fast tapering). 2009-2011: Trying out Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanax. 2012-2015: Zoloft, 100mg to 200mg. 2013: Trazadone for Zoloft-induced insomnia, 25mg to 50mg.  2015: Trileptal, dose?, withdrew; Bupropion, up to 200mg. 2016: Zoloft, 137mg, Bupropion, 150mg, Trazodone, 25mg.

05/21/16: Began Zoloft taper - 10% from 150mg - 137ish mg

06/23/16: Zoloft taper - 125mg

08/03/16: Bupropion XL taper - cut 150mg pill in crude half (mistake)

10/31: Zoloft successfully down to 100mg. Staying on 100mg for 2-3 months to let my brain rest.

11/09: Wellbutrin SR prescribed, 150mg once a day, for withdrawal.

12/11: Wellbutrin SR, twice daily - minus 18ishmg = 112.50mg

09/30/17: Off Wellbutrin SR successfully. Zoloft taper: 90ish mg (shaving it off). Trazodone: still at 50mg.

June 2018: Zoloft: 80ish (shaving off). Trazodone: 6mg. End of 2018: Off Trazodone.

01/20: Zoloft: 70ish?

08/20: Still around 80 or 70. Tapering by only 15 shaves each month.

04/2021: 50mg!

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13 hours ago, Stormstrong said:

I'd like to know if there's a way to save Beyond Meds to my hard drive - the whole website? I don't have a good feeling about the prospect of the death of Net Neutrality here in the US. I'm afraid I'll lose access to all of these important places. Is there a way to save all of the webpages? Would anyone know?

The lady closed down the website herself for personal reasons .I was just getting the hang of the site myself .

PB

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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On 11/6/2017 at 11:48 AM, line said:

Monica retired but content is available again.

 

https://beyondmeds.com/2017/11/06/site-retired-ive-retired/

 

Thanks that she follows her path to recovery but still leaves the content for others to read.

 

 

 

Hi PB,

The content is still available.  It's just that it has been closed to further additions by the site creator and administrator.  I think that Stormstrong was asking something different.

 

I just thought I would let you know as it remains a great resource.  Go to the top drop down menus there and you can have at it..........for reading and inspiration.  There is a wealth of information there.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • 2 months later...

I happened upon this thread yesterday and was very touched by all of your comments. I'm sorry I caused stress when I took the blog down. Someone noted that perhaps I never expected the site to get so popular and that's true...It's always been a bit of a challenge for me knowing how to cope with the sheer volume of folks who are suffering and also looking for love and support (like all of us legitimately need) ... Anyway...it looks like I'm going to get back into the work but I need time and I'm very delicate right now...spent a week in ICU about a month and a half ago and I'm kind of in what feels like a rerun of the worst time of my life except I'm more conscious this time around with is both better and worse...healing takes time as we all know and I'm reinjured now. 

 

anyway...I've a new post up and I will hopefully be writing more soon though I'm letting my body decide when that might be as I'm really not in good physical health right now.

 

thanks again and much love and healing to you all.

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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Wonderful to see you posting again, Gia. You have brought so much knowledge and inspiration to us via your website. I understand what you mean by being "more conscious this time around which is both better and worse." But I feel sure your heightened awareness and insight will guide you onto the healing path. 

 

I hope you see full recovery and healing soon. 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Oh yes.  Thankful for your update.  Not so thankful for the latest traumas/reinjuries for/to you.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Thank you Gia/Monica for letting us know how you are.

 

I am so glad you are taking the time you need to heal and I'm sorry for the suffering you have gone through. 

 

I believe in your recovery and am wishing you steady and complete healing. 

 Sept 2013-Apr 2014:  After death of my mom put on as series of meds. Zoloft 6 days, Lexapro1 day, Nortriptyline 10 days, Liquid Prozac 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.

Got off Clonzapam: 1/2014-9/2014. After given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs

Completed Remeron taper: 41.25 -0.025mgs  1/2015-4 2017. 

Completed Lamictal Taper: 200mgs-0.05 mgs 7/ 2015-11/2018. 

Clonazapam  December 2018. 0.625 Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping and not thinking straight. 28 March, 2019  4% taper Total: .625mgai   26 May, 2019  4% taper Total: .575 mgai,   24 June, 2019 2.5 % taper  10 Clonzapam tablets weigh1.999 mgpw  Average  200 mgpw.  0.0073mgai 9AM, 0.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai, Total: 561mgai,  10 July, 2019 (Compounded pills) .0073mgai 9AM,.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai,

Total .561mgai   26 August, 2019 (Back to regular pills due to bad reaction) .0078mgai 9AM, .01075mgai 3PM, .360mgai PM, Total: .545mgai   26 Sept. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .1mgai 3PM, 0.350mgai PM: Total: .5275mgai   31 Oct, 2019 .0750mgai 9AM, .0925mgai 3PM, 0.340mgai 930PM, Total: .5075mgai,   30 Nov. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .0825mgai 3PM, .3325mgai 9:30PM, Total:.490mgai   31 Dec. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM,  .080mgai 3PM, .3225mgai 9:30PM,  Total: .4775mgai   31 Jan. 2020 .0725mgai 9AM, .0750mgai 3pm, .315mgai 9:30PM, Total: .4625mgai    29 Feb. 2020  .0675mgai 9AM, .0675 3PM, .305 mgai 9PM Total: .440mgai 31 March 2020 .065mgai 9AM,  .065mgai 3PM, .2925mgai 10PM, Total: 4225mgai  30 April 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM, .2775mgai 10PM  Total: .4025mgai 31 May 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625 mgai 3PM, .2526 mgai 10PM, Total: .3775mgai  30 June 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM  .2175 mgai 10PM Total .3425mgai.   31 July 2020 .0575 mgai 9AM .0550 mgai 3PM .180mgai 10PM Total .2925mgai  31 August 2020 .0475mgai 9AM, 0.045mgai 3PM, .01475mgai 10PM Total: .2375mgai  30 September 2020 0.0375mgai 9AM 0.035mgai 3PM 0.110mgai 10PM  Total: .1825mgai 31 October 2020 .0325mgai 9AM .0350mgai 3PM  .0725mgai 9PM

Total: .14mgai  30 Nov. 2020 .03mgai 9AM  .0276mgai 3PM 0.450mgai 9PM Total: .1025mgai 31 Dec. 2020 .02mgai 9AM .02mgai 3PM .02mgai 9PM Total: .06mgai  5 February, 2021 .0150mgai Stepped off of Clonzapam, Benzo Free

 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs,  Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Magnesium Glycinate

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Good to see your update Gia. 

90 mg armour thyroid, Metroprolol 25 mg,

B12 ez melts, active B complex, vitamin D3, Nystatin, SloFe, Magnesium citrate, fish oil.

Nearly 30 years of benzos,  antidepressants, antipsychotics etc...took a lot of them.

Drug free September 9, 2019

Mold illness (CIRS) from Stachybotris and Aspergillus November 2020-present.  

 

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  • 1 month later...

I'm not sure how much I'm going to be doing this work or exactly how I'm going to be doing it...but for now I've done a few new posts and a video.  Thanks again for being out there...healing...it takes all of us exchanging information and experience.

 

New posts since I've been back:

(video) New pharmaceutical brain injury and anniversary

Coming home (my husbands account of what happened)

Learning to live again…

MICROAGGRESSIONS are BIG sometimes

Mindfulness in trauma flow

Introducing the Mad Triangle: Identifying Trauma, Diversity, and Insight in Locations of Madness – by Chris Cole

 

 

 

 

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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Thank you for sharing yourself on Beyond Meds and here.  I feel how much you have gone through and I am wishing your whole being a do depth of healing. 

 Sept 2013-Apr 2014:  After death of my mom put on as series of meds. Zoloft 6 days, Lexapro1 day, Nortriptyline 10 days, Liquid Prozac 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.

Got off Clonzapam: 1/2014-9/2014. After given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs

Completed Remeron taper: 41.25 -0.025mgs  1/2015-4 2017. 

Completed Lamictal Taper: 200mgs-0.05 mgs 7/ 2015-11/2018. 

Clonazapam  December 2018. 0.625 Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping and not thinking straight. 28 March, 2019  4% taper Total: .625mgai   26 May, 2019  4% taper Total: .575 mgai,   24 June, 2019 2.5 % taper  10 Clonzapam tablets weigh1.999 mgpw  Average  200 mgpw.  0.0073mgai 9AM, 0.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai, Total: 561mgai,  10 July, 2019 (Compounded pills) .0073mgai 9AM,.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai,

Total .561mgai   26 August, 2019 (Back to regular pills due to bad reaction) .0078mgai 9AM, .01075mgai 3PM, .360mgai PM, Total: .545mgai   26 Sept. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .1mgai 3PM, 0.350mgai PM: Total: .5275mgai   31 Oct, 2019 .0750mgai 9AM, .0925mgai 3PM, 0.340mgai 930PM, Total: .5075mgai,   30 Nov. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .0825mgai 3PM, .3325mgai 9:30PM, Total:.490mgai   31 Dec. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM,  .080mgai 3PM, .3225mgai 9:30PM,  Total: .4775mgai   31 Jan. 2020 .0725mgai 9AM, .0750mgai 3pm, .315mgai 9:30PM, Total: .4625mgai    29 Feb. 2020  .0675mgai 9AM, .0675 3PM, .305 mgai 9PM Total: .440mgai 31 March 2020 .065mgai 9AM,  .065mgai 3PM, .2925mgai 10PM, Total: 4225mgai  30 April 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM, .2775mgai 10PM  Total: .4025mgai 31 May 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625 mgai 3PM, .2526 mgai 10PM, Total: .3775mgai  30 June 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM  .2175 mgai 10PM Total .3425mgai.   31 July 2020 .0575 mgai 9AM .0550 mgai 3PM .180mgai 10PM Total .2925mgai  31 August 2020 .0475mgai 9AM, 0.045mgai 3PM, .01475mgai 10PM Total: .2375mgai  30 September 2020 0.0375mgai 9AM 0.035mgai 3PM 0.110mgai 10PM  Total: .1825mgai 31 October 2020 .0325mgai 9AM .0350mgai 3PM  .0725mgai 9PM

Total: .14mgai  30 Nov. 2020 .03mgai 9AM  .0276mgai 3PM 0.450mgai 9PM Total: .1025mgai 31 Dec. 2020 .02mgai 9AM .02mgai 3PM .02mgai 9PM Total: .06mgai  5 February, 2021 .0150mgai Stepped off of Clonzapam, Benzo Free

 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs,  Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Magnesium Glycinate

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