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manymoretodays: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

manymoretodays

By manymoretodays
in Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal

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💜

My Introduction topic is here:  manymoretodays: off many years of many medications

 

Simply honored to be writing this. And kind of have tears in my eyes, as I begin.......the good kind. The oh wow kind, the unbelievable understanding of my most excellent, and wonderful good fortune for all that has come my way in some 30 years, and well, even before that. A little bit of the oh wow, I wonder if......or what my life might have been......tears too though.

 

I am now 5 years and 10 months off my last psychoactive prescribed drug!!!!  Last drug off was Trileptal/oxcarbazepine.  Used as a "mood stabilizer".  It's actually a drug developed for seizures I believe.  I never had seizures.  Lucky me on that.

 

I started my “psychiatric career”, somewhere around 1988 or thereabouts. At the tender age of around 30 years, I believe. At that time, I was thriving, by all outward appearances. A newlywed, and we had recently bought our first home, and I was in graduate school and working in my chosen career.

 

I think I was, well I was just me really, and was struggling a bit, sometimes really down.....yet, I could always pull myself up to get to work most days. A lot of strange changes around menses. I would suddenly pop on out of a low down, somewhat perceptually changed funk, when periods came along.

 

And well, hearing all the hype about the new “cure” in the form of Prozac, as well as being privy to what was in medical circles at the time, I wandered on in to a doctor, an Internal Medicine doctor, no less, as I had heard they were really good and I hadn't really had any need for doctors, up to that point, in my young adulthood. I had however, prior to leaving my home state, in the U.S., had a pretty good case of mononucleosis, the second half of my senior year in high school.......I had completed all the work, and was working away to earn some money for college, when that hit.  Recovered.  Continued on.  To college and beyond.

 

I didn't mention my doctor visit to many, or if any.......I'd be surprised. It still all felt so very hush, hush to have any problem with adapting to life. And sheesh, now I was about to be branded with my first, of many labels of “diagnonsense”. And thank you, who ever used that term first. So......henceforth, some kind of mental defective.

 

First trial of an AD(antidepressant), I think was of the Tricyclic class. Oh my gosh, dry parched mouth to the extreme, and totally anxious fearful was the result of that. And on to the Prozac, I believe next. Well, not too long into that experiment, I began to have some flickering flashes of suicidal ideation. So, that was all swell and seemed to prove that I was even more mentally defective and got me a referral to a psychiatrist. Possibly, a few more drug trials with me. Then I lost my job. I mean they were nice about it and all, and I honestly have to take some responsibility for my part in that job loss. I got to stay employed at the same place and all too. And well, I took that all pretty hard, to say the least.....turned inward a lot.

 

So...... then on to my first horsespittalization(hospitalization). Highly recommended by my then therapist. And even switched psychiatrists.......to her hubs. Geeze, the one I had prior was good too. I felt like a amoeba under a microscope with the new one. I cooperated though, on all levels. I mean I was really “mentally ill” right?

Last I heard, that shrink was trying for more fame and fortune, doing some pretty invasive brain stuff. We hung out though, for a good while......in that doctor/patient way. Me being scrutinized, and he knowing all.

 

Horsespittal back then. Like a country club really.......back in those days. And I had good insurance. The place wasn't so crowded as most psychiatric wards and hospitals are now. We did all kinds of therapeutic things. And I think a got another diagnonsense there. I found it in my chart, which they did let me look at. My shrink, didn't disclose that one to me though, the diagnosis. Kind of weird, eh? Left that place, after a couple of weeks, on an MAOI AD. Oldschool stuff. Lot's of interactions, with food stuff, and other medications and what???!!!! Why???!!!! Stayed on it for far too long, if you ask me. I was at first a bit super charged on that drug(my problems were magically over and I had a lot of energy) and then........ pretty docile on that drug, gained a fair amount of weight, and then managed to bring it down again. Kept on going with most things, doing all that was expected of me and all. Did a lot of therapy...... Just kept getting my prescription filled and taking my doses.

 

I think it was the brand Parnate, seems like I was on another MAOI too at some point......maybe Nardi.  I did, however,  a few years into it.......have the dreaded tyramine reaction.  Treated with nifedipine, under the tongue......2 doses.  I think I could have stroked out, glad I did not.  Horrible occipital headache that had me crawling on the floor and I managed to get to the phone, call my shrink, who had me take my pulse(rapid it was) and remind me to take the nifedipine he had prescribed for "just in case".  Sun/son was a baby and napping after lunch.  I had both aged cheese and sausage at lunch.......I never was great, nor was it reinforced for me(the dietary and drink restrictions), with the dietary restrictions.  I guess they thought since I was in graduate school, and in the medical profession that I would be good?  I mean I don't know.  Anyway......I thought I was a goner with that reaction though.  I could not even stand up the pain in my head was so bad.  Nifedipine helped......probably dropped my BP(blood pressure) a lot.  My pulse went back to normal.  I called my then husband home from work, and crawled into bed.   Next day off to work maybe?  I don't remember, likely or maybe it was a day off.  I had gone to PT work with my then baby dear Sun/son, my MAOI baby.  He's doing good, well, at age 30 now.  Both of us have some just "on the edge of" idiosyncrasies I think.  I don't really know any more what my "before" was truly like.  And he is okay, for all purposes.  My favorite person ever.

 

Fast forward here to 1999, now that was a big year.  I was still on the Parnate.  Not doing horrid, but into that weird drug induced change of persona or something.  A little dulled mentally.  I still could get pretty down and out, and didn't really have a clue what to do......but fake it?  By now we had moved, and I had a shrink closer to home.  AND once again, a job loss......good enough......I wasn't bringing in a whole lot financially to the now merged practice I was part of......so a lay off really.  I took it hard though.  But decided to get off my MAOI at that point.  I knew this wasn't right somehow.  Taken off that over 2 weeks, and started on a little dose of Zoloft then, after 2 weeks. 

 

Oh my heck ahello.  WD(withdrawal) set in.  Only I didn't know that, and if my doctor did, they were not telling me.  Urgha.  And on and on I went......for awhile.  More drugs, multiple drugs at once and of course diagnoses to match up with the drugging.

 

The second shrink, well......at one point as I was walking out the door he says, "Hey, I'm almost certain you've had some childhood trauma".  No further exploration with me.  Nothing.  Wow.  O....kay.  I kept that to myself even.  For already I was branded and labeled and.........you know the drill.  Felt like a nothing nobody in that system of care.  Anyway.....I've since pinpointed the trauma(s).  Won't go into that here.  Mostly thriving now.  Do work on things, with the pros every now and then.  And with myself.

 

So, next up........ I latched on to being bipolar.  Read everything I could.  Checked the DSM bible.  Version III, or maybe IV......I don't know.   And it did not add up.  Because.....at that time, it was still in there.......these ups and downs, and that if they could have been caused by drugs/medications that the diagnosis should be questioned.  I also drank and smoked and had dabbled with "recreational" psychoactives from the time I was a teen.  Happy to report -clean and sober for over 6 years now.  And....an ex smoker of tobacco now, again.  I'll make it though.   It does strike me now how extremely fortunate I am, given it all, to still be alive and most days grateful for it all as well.  I can't live on consistent persistent anger.  I do struggle to feel anger and it sometimes comes out wrong.  Not dangerously so.  It wasn't allowed for me, as a kid, to learn healthy expression of anger.  I was the youngest child, and very much the observer, of all things good and bad.

 

When I got here I was 6 months or so off Lexapro AND remedicated with 2 drugs, and had a lengthy decades long history of medications/drugs.   So May of 2015.  Was I 58 years old?  I think so.  And had a passing knowledge now of WD and tapering.  An Icarus guide.  Was reading Beyond Meds.  Was also a certified peer in my state and was getting into the peers helping peers movement.  Met some like me too.  Much help.  Much appreciation for those friends.  Some here still, some gone now.  I had tried some naturopath things while on drugs and also to come off them.  Drugs being prescribed medications.  That wasn't great and cost a fortune.

 

Okay, so I'm here now.  Learning more.  And then even in my early acute WD state, was able to come to the conclusion that reinstatement would probably not be for me.  I based it on the time since off Lexapro, and the other drugs I was on, and somehow reached the right decision for me.

 

Oh, of course it would have been nice if the knowledge was there, at the hospital I went to, to give me a mini-dose of Lexapro.....after my too quick tapering.  But it was not.  I even had my liquid Lexapro with me at that time.  Acute WD for me was......well indescribable....yet, I'll try to sum things up a bit.

 

Total psych hospitalizations for me over what I call my psychiatric career were 5.  All were voluntary.  After a drug change of some type.  Off one, on another or what have you?  Some likely adverse effects from my prescribed drugs.

 

Drug history:

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antipsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 20 mg., then 10 mg, then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

12/16/2016- tapered down with the oxcarbazepine, split the dose into 2, 12 hours apart, tapered at 2 week intervals near the end, and then jumped at 24 mg total dosage to 0. 

 

Withdrawal symptom history:  

And I will go to page 2 of this for that.

 

I am not a sailor, pre Sun/son I did Windsurf though.  Still have my sails and board in the garage too.  Soon to get donated or something.  I hope.

 

 

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
double posted a bit, adding in bits and pieces, and then will edit down
11

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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manymoretodays

And okay.  My WD(withdrawal) symptoms. I think I had most all symptoms possible.  Some when I did not even know of WD.   akathisia thankfully, if it was that.......was brief......the pa

manymoretodays
manymoretodays

💜 My Introduction topic is here:  manymoretodays: off many years of many medications   Simply honored to be writing this. And kind of have tears in my eyes, as I begin.......the good ki

manymoretodays
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This was in response to:   Hi PS, And just want to clarify.  Right now, no......it's not rough.  I feel pretty good, and like the worst is behind me.  I was just saying how I quit foc

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And okay.  My WD(withdrawal) symptoms.

I think I had most all symptoms possible.  Some when I did not even know of WD.

 

akathisia thankfully, if it was that.......was brief......the pacing, the utter inability to be still of mind or body.

A ton of the mental symptoms- cog fog, confusion, busy wizzy thoughts, thought disorganization, utter despair, fearful-ness, paranoia, disoriented, so many symptoms.......how I made it?.......sheer grace I think.  And a lot of faith.  Perserverence.

physical symptoms- dizzy, balance was off, ummm......poor appetite, hemorrhoids(was that a WD symptoms or a med side effect? Idk), dehydration maybe as I would have to remind myself to eat sometimes.....my hunger signals were off kilter,  brain wooshes- I never really had zaps......they were whooshes.....like I could feel my brain settling or moving in my skull.  That was odd.  Later in time- pretty severe headaches, they often went in tandem with stuff that did not used be stressful- but became very stressful.

Body aches and pains-check.

Blurry vision, loss of visual acuity-check

My glasses now are good, and I'm doing well with them.....so, thankful for that.

Some could be aging and or early arthritic changes too with the aches.  And some WD for sure.

Mouth dryness, dental problems- some of that was WD.  Some was other too.

Depersonalization/derealization-check

 

Somewhere around 3 or 4 years off, I didn't refer as much to WD anymore and just started to go with iatrogenic changes, ?harms, done knowing or unknowingly, but yes, most definitely had the protracted withdrawal syndome picture.....or it fit.

 

Most symptoms gone most days.  Some days still though I do have to apply my skills, my non-drug coping skills to get through.  And......when I stay disciplined to use some of my practices......I tend to do better, stay well enough.

I still struggle with fears/anxiety from time to time of varying degrees.

I am just now learning how to "adult" and be a real "grown-up".  I mean I did okay at it, but often have had to pull back, and take a day or a week, or quit a job, or something.  Embarassing but true.  And I am the older generation now, parents gone.  This is it.  Life, I'm an adult.  And I need to be a good, better example in all I do and say.  It's good work.  Trust me.

 

What helped the most.  Physical, not mental stuff.......physical- movement, music, swimming, walking, getting outside. Yoga, Qi gong.  Therapy did help-and does still.  Talking.  Self help.  Empowerement.  Learning.  Support-which I could find even when they did not know exactly what I had.  I couldn't always explain WD and still can't always explain it briefly.  So I learned.  People.  My tribe(s)....multiple tribes.  We're all one.

Having enough money to live.  That helped too.  I'm still on SSD, or social security disability.  I have enough for all my needs really.  Or I hope so.  I hoarded money for a long while out of fear. Of course I hope to employ again, just PT, for pay.....someday.  It's good for esteem and balance both I think.

 

What have I learned?  Well, I can go beyond survival and thrive now.  And life is good.  A whole new appreciation for life and respect.  I am far from being truly wise yet.......so don't ask me?  Or don't ask me too much or ask too much of me.  I'm a full time job.  Well I  have had to relearn how to care for my home and grounds again.  Many things that  I  have had to relearn.  How to relax.  Step out of myself and ego. Hoping, as always for some PT, non-career work up the road.  Maybe paid peer work, or fluff work, fun work, or something in the arts- doing support or something.

 

So.  That's it.  Gracious thanks to so many here and elsewhere.  I honestly love my life as I finish writing this, and each and every one of my fellow humans, animals, plants, and well.  I knew this wouldn't be so hard to write.......just emotional.

 

Here's to today.  And manymore tomorrows too!

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
more, that's it though. It's finished. One more addition...for clarity.
15

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Shep Grand Master

Shep

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20 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

What have I learned?  Well, I can go beyond survival and thrive now.  And life is good.  A whole new appreciation for life and respect.  I am far from being truly wise yet.......so don't ask me?  Or don't ask me too much or ask too much of me.  I'm a full time job.  Well I  have had to relearn how to care for my home and grounds again.  Many things that  I  have had to relearn.  How to relax.  Step out of myself and ego. Hoping, as always for some PT, non-career work up the road.  Maybe paid peer work, or fluff work, fun work, or something in the arts- doing support or something.

 

I see good things ahead for you, MMT. Beautifully written. Very glad to see you on this side of the forum! 

 

 

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Thank you Sheppie!  Good things......I'll take that.  Importantly is.......I can do hard things now.  Forever learning, but I know now I can do hard things.

And I forgot ski-ing.  Ski-ing was one of the movement things that really helped.  Once I was up for it again.  Movement, nature, music all in one.  And I found a ski-ing tribe too or am finding one.  Met a few.

Edited by manymoretodays
3

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Thank you for your success story 🌞

1

2021:  started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g; feb 26th 5mg; feb 27th 5mg; feb 28th 2021 cold turkey 

currently taking mag

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Onmyway

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What a wonderful story MMT, I wish for beautiful tomorrows for you as well - what a journey! Thank you for your lovely presence here! I really appreciate you.

1

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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manymoretodays

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55 minutes ago, PortugueseSea said:


You still do not feel like 90% healed? Man, that is rough... It is a long road...

 

This was in response to:

On 10/22/2022 at 2:14 PM, manymoretodays said:

Somewhere around 3 or 4 years off, I didn't refer as much to WD anymore and just started to go with iatrogenic changes, ?harms, done knowing or unknowingly, but yes, most definitely had the protracted withdrawal syndome picture.....or it fit.

 

Hi PS,

And just want to clarify.  Right now, no......it's not rough.  I feel pretty good, and like the worst is behind me.  I was just saying how I quit focusing so much on WD, by 3 to 4 years out, and reframed it for myself.    I guess I didn't ever go with a percentage healed type of concept. 


What does 100% healed mean to you?  I'd be interested. 

 

I honestly did struggle to feel like a success and feel ready to write this.......as I wasn't sure what that meant, even for myself.  I know some want what they want,........ the ideal job or dream job, possibly the money, the partner, possibly the family, and really good health?  Maybe the car?  Maybe the boat, etc, etc.?  Most of all their health back.  Freedom from WD symptoms I expect.

 

The peace inside, and lack of limitations, is truly enough for me I decided.  That's success.  Something to still be heading for too is fun.  Discovering new things all the time.  I'm still headed in the right direction. 

I did need to come to terms with myself and some of my past trauma.  And do, very much consider that i am a work always in progress.

 

Like I said, it's hard to remember what I/it was like all those years ago.  Except..... I do recognize parts of myself now that ARE back, that were so obliterated for so long.

 

For all that verbage, I still feel like I left stuff out.  And I realize I am rambling a bit now.

 

So ask, if you need more specifics.

And your story might be different.  That's okay.

 

Success story writing can be really cathartic though.  Healing.

 

I'm a work in progress in any case.  In a good way.  I think it's a good life I have.  And I feel like am in good health.  Free from WD symptoms.

 

I sure hope my story can help someone else too.  To know that healing is possible.

 

Thank you Phoenixmama and Onmyway.  I appreciate you too!

Edited by manymoretodays
4

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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13 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

What does 100% healed mean to you?  I'd be interested. 


That is a very good question. Very very good question. For me? Simple, no restlessness. All the other symptoms are bearable and a nuisance, head pressure, flu-like symptoms, anxiety, all of it.. Not being able to ever relax is what reaaaally pushes me over the edge and makes this hell, that one symptom. The day that goes I am 100% healed in my regard.

I will write my success story as soon as it is gone for good, hands up.

 

 

13 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

I sure hope my story can help someone else too.  To know that healing is possible.


It has helped me already. If it wasn't for stories like yours I don't think I would still be here 10 months in. So, thank you.

December 2021 - Metoclopramide started. Akathisia symptoms start; Metoclopramide gets changed to PRN.

March 2022 - Akathisia diagnosed; Metoclopramide stopped; Propranolol 10mg x twice a day. Biperiden PRN (0.5mg to 1mg).

April 2022 - Tandospirone 30mg (10mg 3x day), Quetiapine 25mg (only taken once, immediate adr). Mirtazapine 7.5mg. . Discontinued Propranolol.

May 2022 - Mirtazapine upped to 15mg. Tandospirone cut to 2x 10mg. Low dose Depakote for the month; 100 to 200 to 100 to 0. Mirtazapine cut back to 11.75mg (3/4 of a 15mg pill).
June 2022 - Mirtazapine updose to 15mg. Tandospirone, Biperiden discontinued. Klonopin started PRN (0.5mg). 
September 2022 - Akathisia slowly starts improving, WD/ADR normal sets in in mid September. Hold for 4 months.
March 2023 - Off mirtazapine; no Klonopin for 5 months either! Started quercetin (250mg x 2) to soften the histamine rebound.

May 2023 - Stopped quercetin and changed from magnesium carbonate to oxide - reacted badly. Reverted back to carbonate. 
June 2023 - Added fish oil.
Current regimen: CALM Magnesium (Carbonate into Citrate) 175mg x2; Vitamin E 268mg x2; Fish oil (100mg Omega3; EPA 30mg; DHA 37mg)x2
Intro thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/27095-portuguesesea-metoclopramide-akathisia-and-mirtazapine/

 

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Okay.  Yes, of course the ability to relax! 

It's back for me.

Sometimes, maybe some slight restless might be a signal for me to examine something or other.  Or......just use my tools and practices.

 

I'm still a bit jumpy post-cigarettes.  Nothing like WD though.  And cannot wait to be patch free.

 

Okay. Let's breathe.  I know you'll make it PS.  You will.  Hugs.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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PortugueseSea Contributor

PortugueseSea

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Posted

Thanks man, I have a baby son that needs is dad. Defeat.is.not.an.option.

I am as positive as it gets, just tired of the suffering and feeling unwell.

I am doing breathing exercises thanks to your recommendations btw!

Hugs!

1

December 2021 - Metoclopramide started. Akathisia symptoms start; Metoclopramide gets changed to PRN.

March 2022 - Akathisia diagnosed; Metoclopramide stopped; Propranolol 10mg x twice a day. Biperiden PRN (0.5mg to 1mg).

April 2022 - Tandospirone 30mg (10mg 3x day), Quetiapine 25mg (only taken once, immediate adr). Mirtazapine 7.5mg. . Discontinued Propranolol.

May 2022 - Mirtazapine upped to 15mg. Tandospirone cut to 2x 10mg. Low dose Depakote for the month; 100 to 200 to 100 to 0. Mirtazapine cut back to 11.75mg (3/4 of a 15mg pill).
June 2022 - Mirtazapine updose to 15mg. Tandospirone, Biperiden discontinued. Klonopin started PRN (0.5mg). 
September 2022 - Akathisia slowly starts improving, WD/ADR normal sets in in mid September. Hold for 4 months.
March 2023 - Off mirtazapine; no Klonopin for 5 months either! Started quercetin (250mg x 2) to soften the histamine rebound.

May 2023 - Stopped quercetin and changed from magnesium carbonate to oxide - reacted badly. Reverted back to carbonate. 
June 2023 - Added fish oil.
Current regimen: CALM Magnesium (Carbonate into Citrate) 175mg x2; Vitamin E 268mg x2; Fish oil (100mg Omega3; EPA 30mg; DHA 37mg)x2
Intro thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/27095-portuguesesea-metoclopramide-akathisia-and-mirtazapine/

 

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Erimus Contributor

Erimus

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It’s always good when another new success story is published. Thanks for this, I needed it today.

MEDICATION:

1. Sertraline: 50mg - Oct 2020; 100mg - Dec 2020; 50mg - April 2021; 75mg - May 2021; 50mg - Sep 2021;

Current dose: 50mg (Dec 2023)

2. Mirtazapine: 15mg November 2020

Current dose: 15mg (Dec 2023)

 

SUPPLEMENTS: Cod liver oil

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Thanks for reading @ Erimus!  And never doubt that you too, will heal and recover.

Sometimes.......as it was for me, it just wasn't on my timeline.  I mean I thought it would all be over pronto, as soon as I finished my tapers and got off the drug(s).  Oh well, that wasn't to be.  Took awhile.

That time frame of waiting to heal more is not ALL bad though, or was not for me.  I think that is important to know, when you are struggling.

Oh my gosh, I met more people and learned more things, as well as about myself.  One being resilency.  That ability to bounce back and almost forget how hard it was.  And the people.......heck they are all keepers.......awesome people, who I would not have met without being on this path of mine, the freedom from psychiatry and all that.

The silver lining I think.  It's here.

 

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

2

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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On 10/28/2022 at 3:42 PM, PortugueseSea said:

Thanks man, I have a baby son that needs is dad. Defeat.is.not.an.option.

I am as positive as it gets, just tired of the suffering and feeling unwell.

I am doing breathing exercises thanks to your recommendations btw!

Hugs!

 

No, defeat is NOT an option.  Relax, breathe.  That's so nice you have a baby son.  You must miss him and his Mom a lot.

 

Today......I'm at 100%.  And Happy Halloween to boot!!!  It's a fun time, the costumes.  And they better come knocking the kids......as I have totally unhealthy candy to deliver to the trick or treaters tonight.  I don't want any left in my healthy home!!!  It's tempting to hit the chocolate.  I will not.

I won't.

 

Anyway......I realized something outside today.  Just how much I CAN do now, that I could not then.  It's 50 degrees farenheit, sunny, and I'm up on the ladder cleaning the gutters, down in the window wells cleaning the windows and plant and other debris that has fallen in there.  Then, I've got to hook up my new printer, and get to some paperwork that needs doing. 

I have a little area outside that is like my own little forest too.  Pine trees and hedges and it gives me such peace to go in that area.  A bench where I can look at my favorite healing mountain too.  Oh it's a rocky and craggy peak to the North.  Such a beauty though.

 

A big change from my lack of balance just a few years back.  And good concentration, and also I'm realistic, what doesn't get done today......I'll get to before deadlines.  I will.

 

I mean in some ways this is better than whatever my before was........so many years ago(it's hard to know what that was).........., before I idiotiotically thought these drugs were or might be helpful to me somehow.  And I'll be kind to self on saying "idiotically" ......that's a funny word anyway.

 

Alrighty.  Back to work.  Love my work.  Here, there, everywhere.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Oh.....so grateful for my android and it's nifty earbuds too.  When working outside I can groove to the music, or listen to some mediatative options if I want to.  Some of those are so great on "Waking Up".

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
1

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Roserdl Contributor

Roserdl

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Thank you for your story.  

 

It sounds like you started to have some major improvements around year 3 - before that did you get relief in increments or windows or waves  -any improvements in the first year or two?


Did you have emotional blunting?  Were you symptomatic in your taper?


Ty

 

Recent 2018 Zoloft 150mg  (20 years taking at various times, no real issues before stopping)

2019 Risperdal one month low dose (forget amount) stopped bad reaction

2019 Remeron 7.5 mg sleep  (discontinued in mid 2019) on for six months (tapered for a few weeks)

Zoloft 100 mg Summer 2020/Zoloft 75 mg Summer 2021

Zoloft 50 mg November 2021/ Zoloft 25 mg First two weeks January 2022: Reinstated 50 mgJanuary Last week)

Crash in February - on and off doses as doctors conflicted over serotonin syndrome/withdrawal - stopped all for two week & resumed:\

Other drugs tried in hospitals (Abilify, 1mg, 1 dose, Zyprexa 1 dose 1mg, Klonopin .25 4 doses in 2 hospitalizations)

March 1 titrated Zoloft up from 0 to 65 from February to Early May

Severe vision problems at 65 mg (improved depression)

Taper to 55 6/15, 45mg 7/15/ 35mg 8/1, 25mg 8/15, 10 mg, 8/31 OFF 9/2022 Omg  Improved with drops from August to September - November crash ONE dose Zoloft 3mg 11/17 - worsened symptoms - Remain off Zoloft

Mirtazapine -3.5 mg six weeks mid march to end april, occasionally for sleep

Supplements: Fish oil, magnesium, lions mane, cytokine suppress, MCT Oil

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Hi Roserdl,

Thanks for reading.....

11 hours ago, Roserdl said:

It sounds like you started to have some major improvements around year 3 - before that did you get relief in increments or windows or waves  -any improvements in the first year or two?


Did you have emotional blunting?  Were you symptomatic in your taper?

 

I'll sleep on your question tonight but right now I think my answer would be both.  In my first two years off completely. Some symptoms abated slowly by increments of improvement, and also I still would get Waves too, and then would get back into a nice realistic Window.

 

Blunting emotionally- yes, it wasn't a predominant or frequently reoccurring symptom but yes.  I was "flat-lined" at times, blunted.  Not so much after my last taper though.  That would happen to me more often while I was still on the drug or drugs prescribed.  After I was drug free......I was more likely to be into neuroemotions.  Lot's of tears, repressed anger feelings.........that kind of thing.

 

Symptomatic in my taper.  Yes, I was. 

My last taper....... off of Trileptal, I did have some symptoms yes, tolerable ones, that I could function with. 

 

I'm sure it wasn't easy for the people around me, my ground people in other words........when I was in symptoms, although honestly........I don't think I have been too hard on my people on the ground......just weird at times, and I have had a tendency to isolate too, when in symptoms.  IT IS.  THE WORST. thing to do.  Seriously, don't isolate. 

 

One day is okay.  No more.  Stay in touch with your support system, be it here, there, or anywhere.......talk to someone, even if they don't completely "get it".  If they don't "get your WD, or iatrogenesis for me".  Don't abandon yourself to just yourself when in symptoms.  It always led to worse symptoms for me.

 

So that ^ is something I learned.  Turn around and help your supports too, whenever you can, when you are up to it.  WD is soul sucking, and puts us in a place of self absorption, and geeze that is never real healing.  So when ever.......even just do something little for someone else or say something nice to them......you know.......most know this kind of thing.

 

Alway, look for one little thing that HAS gone well.  One. little. thing.

And do some gratitude lists, or I have found much help doing those.

 

I may have over answered your questions.  Let me know if you want or need further clarity. 

You will heal.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Edited by manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

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Love you to pieces, mmt.

1

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Roserdl Contributor

Roserdl

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Roserdl,

Thanks for reading.....

 

I'll sleep on your question tonight but right now I think my answer would be both.  In my first two years off completely. Some symptoms abated slowly by increments of improvement, and also I still would get Waves too, and then would get back into a nice realistic Window.

 

Blunting emotionally- yes, it wasn't a predominant or frequently reoccurring symptom but yes.  I was "flat-lined" at times, blunted.  Not so much after my last taper though.  That would happen to me more often while I was still on the drug or drugs prescribed.  After I was drug free......I was more likely to be into neuroemotions.  Lot's of tears, repressed anger feelings.........that kind of thing.

 

Symptomatic in my taper.  Yes, I was. 

My last taper....... off of Trileptal, I did have some symptoms yes, tolerable ones, that I could function with. 

 

I'm sure it wasn't easy for the people around me, my ground people in other words........when I was in symptoms, although honestly........I don't think I have been too hard on my people on the ground......just weird at times, and I have had a tendency to isolate too, when in symptoms.  IT IS.  THE WORST. thing to do.  Seriously, don't isolate. 

 

One day is okay.  No more.  Stay in touch with your support system, be it here, there, or anywhere.......talk to someone, even if they don't completely "get it".  If they don't "get your WD, or iatrogenesis for me".  Don't abandon yourself to just yourself when in symptoms.  It always led to worse symptoms for me.

 

So that ^ is something I learned.  Turn around and help your supports too, whenever you can, when you are up to it.  WD is soul sucking, and puts us in a place of self absorption, and geeze that is never real healing.  So when ever.......even just do something little for someone else or say something nice to them......you know.......most know this kind of thing.

 

Alway, look for one little thing that HAS gone well.  One. little. thing.

And do some gratitude lists, or I have found much help doing those.

 

I may have over answered your questions.  Let me know if you want or need further clarity. 

You will heal.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Ty.  I did this so wrong I have nothing but extreme symptoms and pain.  Glad for you

Recent 2018 Zoloft 150mg  (20 years taking at various times, no real issues before stopping)

2019 Risperdal one month low dose (forget amount) stopped bad reaction

2019 Remeron 7.5 mg sleep  (discontinued in mid 2019) on for six months (tapered for a few weeks)

Zoloft 100 mg Summer 2020/Zoloft 75 mg Summer 2021

Zoloft 50 mg November 2021/ Zoloft 25 mg First two weeks January 2022: Reinstated 50 mgJanuary Last week)

Crash in February - on and off doses as doctors conflicted over serotonin syndrome/withdrawal - stopped all for two week & resumed:\

Other drugs tried in hospitals (Abilify, 1mg, 1 dose, Zyprexa 1 dose 1mg, Klonopin .25 4 doses in 2 hospitalizations)

March 1 titrated Zoloft up from 0 to 65 from February to Early May

Severe vision problems at 65 mg (improved depression)

Taper to 55 6/15, 45mg 7/15/ 35mg 8/1, 25mg 8/15, 10 mg, 8/31 OFF 9/2022 Omg  Improved with drops from August to September - November crash ONE dose Zoloft 3mg 11/17 - worsened symptoms - Remain off Zoloft

Mirtazapine -3.5 mg six weeks mid march to end april, occasionally for sleep

Supplements: Fish oil, magnesium, lions mane, cytokine suppress, MCT Oil

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Thanks for being glad for me Roserdl. 

Many of us did do it all wrong.  I sure wish you all the best and that something gives soon.....in a good way, a window way. 

Sending all the healing I can through the airwaves and beyond. It'll happen for you.   I am seeing it.  Hold on tight.

2

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Olla!  Sitting in instacare/urgent care with a swollen red bugbite....and out of my usual area.  I even have the stinger I pulled out.  However, I did not capture the insect. Sure hope it's nothing.....me needs a handholder.  A couple of ladies convinced me I should get it looked at and so....I listened.  Here I am.  Trying to put my doctor/drug fears aside.....it's still hard sometimes.  Hmmm....come to think of it.....I rescued a flailing insect from the water the other day.....so maybe that bodes well for the outcome of my wound/visit.  Hope so.  L, P, H, and G.  mmt.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Hanna72 Contributor

Hanna72

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Dear @manymoretodays

I just love your presence here on this site. The way you write and interact with others is unique and lovely to read.

You will do great with every obstacle you face. 
Thank you for shining bright on here and always staying positive and uplifting.


All the best to you🙏

1

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.
Did a way to fast taper off of 20 mg fluoxetine. Crashed after being 8 months free of drug.

Reinstated went up to 20 mg

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg


´Impossible is just an opinion’

                 Paulo Coelho


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

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Altostrata Grand Master

Altostrata

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Oh, dear, @manymoretodays did that bite get fixed?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Yes.  Thank you both.  Sparingly using steroid cream and Zyrtec(once a day).  Ice worked best...lol....bugger of a bite!  Not poisonous scorpion or black widow spider.....thank goodness.  Likely a flying something.  Fun in the desert!  I saw a PA and he was great....listened and was helpful.  So....I am 👍 good.  Will live, my limbs are preserved, and I am happy, grateful, and feel so very fortunate.  ❤️

Edited by manymoretodays
Additional
1

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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getofflex Grand Master

getofflex

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Thank you for your success story many more todays. I know your story will encourage many people on here and it encouraged me. It’s good to get to know you better.  

Please do not private message me or tag me.

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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Frogie Grand Master

Frogie

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@manymoretodays

 

Thank you so much for writing such a beautiful success story. It gives everyone hope that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

 

Well done for living life to the fullest!!!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

1

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Thank you Frogie. 

And as you know, my typing/written self is not all I am.  I mean I do still have my difficult moments, and sometimes am too harsh.  Or like a teenager, darn it!!

 

I will say though that as I type or write.......I often can and do shift into my better self.  It helps so much.  Journaling.  Typing out sometimes my feelings and thoughts.  And sometimes, just pausing.  Stopping.  Taking a break.  Meditating or prayer even.  Always learning and hopefully growing in the right direction.

It's all coming together most days now.  Oh so thankful for that.

 

Back at you.  Well done you too!  Living the live, your life and off the darn drugs!!!!

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

1

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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8 hours ago, getofflex said:

Thank you for your success story many more todays. I know your story will encourage many people on here and it encouraged me. It’s good to get to know you better.  

 

Oh, I almost missed your post.  Thank you getofflex.  Back at you.  And you are such a worker bee here........on site.......so appreciated.

L, P, H, and G, mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Hey there.  I suppose I can just update here, my whereabouts and all.

 

I am definitely enjoying being less limited on the site at this point in time, and contributing and moderating, as my time allows.

Most recently, got the old peoples......LOL......flu vaccine, now that I am done traveling for awhile.

And so far, so good.

After 48 hours, I mean almost to the hour.......I did get hit with some fatigue like symptoms.....a little headachy too, and just slighty off balance? if that's the right term for how I felt.  Coincidentally, or possibly a factor too.......was that it was after we had completed Inipi/sweat lodge today.  So......anyway.  I will certainly rest up tonight and have stayed well hydrated.

 

My final trip to my late Mom's, dear Muma.........went well.  Next up, it will get sold, and likely go quickly......later this month or early January.  Sun/son went with me and was a great help and fine traveling companion.  I carted a fair amount of memorabilia and stuff back in my present vehicle.  Smallish sedan.....amazing though what fit.  So I got deeper into the desert, more or less, and into some warmer temperatures, and we had our pilgrimage of sorts, as well as some leisure, brief but nice, and full use of some lovely facilities, in a lovely area.  Sun/son flew home and then I had just a couple days to do a little more.  Including, figuring out how I could go back there and get a rental perhaps, in what was Muma's 55 and over community......that over several decades I came to know and love.  Oh and my Dad's too, he passed in 2010......December 23rd.  I really did not want to manage two properties, and am not at all ready to sell and downsize, my present living situation.  Soooooo......hugged the walls, and said goodbye.  I really am hoping to return there, I mean not to my late Mom's place, but to another in the same community, in another year or perhaps just beyond that.  It's in a great location and........anyway.  That will happen.

 

Meantime.....pretty much traveled through the Thanksgiving holiday.  And my oven died just prior......and so.......I was readying to replace it.  When I got home.......it was working again.  I had one long term cat sitter, friend here and then when the holiday came up.....and she left, my son/Sun took over and apparently inadvertently fixed it......LOL.  Alright.  So getting some baking done now.  And just finished cooking a turkey breast.

 

Meantime, had a kitchen sink leak, and that turned out to be the garbage disposal and so that's been taken care of, replaced.  I should opt for some elective updates here and maybe will.  Soon.

 

So.....all good on the homefront.

 

I need to check on ski-ing start dates, and that will be coming up soon.

Looking forward to and somewhat enjoying the holidays or this season.  I have 3 events to attend this week......holiday events and looking forward to.  I do need to do some minimal decoration and get a tree up and get a little festive.  Light up some of these seemingly shorter, and darker days.......get into the winter cozy, in other words.

 

So all is well.

Pacing, the best I can, my other involvements, and will not delay......will get going with getting my papers ready for a potential paid position, just PT, and do some inquiries early next year.......or before.  We'll see.

 

Feeling fairly healthy all around.  So grateful........

 

Alrighty, that's all about me, and this past couple of weeks.  And best.  Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)........I think initially my user name was to help keep me in the here and now of today, and then of course another day.......and of course many more to follow.  I don't really remember back then.  It is a bit lengthy.  And ah......yah, where is my avatar????  That will be this year.  For sure. 

 

Sending healing everyday.  Through the wires, through the internet......through the very air we breathe.  Hugs and endurance everyone!  Don't give up.

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
1

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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On 10/31/2022 at 2:49 PM, manymoretodays said:

Then, I've got to hook up my new printer, and get to some paperwork that needs doing. 

 

Ah well, I didn't really have a deadline for that......the printer hook-up, and.......really hoping to get to that today.

I mean I have had this printer for almost an entire year now..........I think I should do this today.......hook it up, give it a whirl.

And I do have some stuff saved up to print off.

Sometimes I have better comprehension reading hard copy.

 

Just saying I guess.....sometimes I type before I've actually taken action on something.......

 

Happy holidays.  Cold front here.  Snow.  Pretty and nice winter wonderland.  I like the sunny days though......not too many snowy days in a row.

My Costco "Happy Lite" still works.......geeze, have had it for about a decade now too.  How awesome is that?  I don't think they have the same brand/style there but they do have some.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Oooh, almost forgot to share.  This:

Gabor Mate' being interviewed on Democracy Now, about his new book:  The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture.

Like it's not enough that I love Democracy now.....on the radio, and I also love Gabor Mate' and his work.

This is only 41 minutes......so fine though, so very fine. 

Sure spoke to me.

 

1

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Phoenixmama

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Posted

I love him!!!! 

1

2021:  started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g; feb 26th 5mg; feb 27th 5mg; feb 28th 2021 cold turkey 

currently taking mag

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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I know.  Watch some of his video's on youtube.  He writes too.  I need to get one of his books.  I maybe have one.  So maybe just another one, or do a re-read......those are often good.

Edited by manymoretodays
1

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Happy2Heal

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oh wow how did I miss your success story @manymoretodays???

I love the way you write!
I love your candor

I love your warm heart and your unique way of expressing it

 

I am so glad that you are in the world and so happy that you've shared so much of yourself here with us

 

Oh congrats on quitting smoking!! that is a hard thing to do! 

 

 

1

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok til  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well, age 62 (total of 42 yrs on psych meds) 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Aug  2022❤️ loving life  ❤️  age 66 - and things just keep getting better! 
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manymoretodays

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Thank you H2H.  And no problem......I'm still always thinking of something to maybe add to it.  Like........what I learned, or more specific on a time frame, or something.

I am low key.  And in a quiet, contemplative time now......more often than not.  It's that time of year.

 

Don't mention it, the QS thing.......LOL........I'm still dependent on 7 mg nicotine via patch.  And I guess that's okay, if that is what it takes. 

And it helps.  I'll extend through the holidays, and maybe even taper the patch more, before ending with those.

 

Alrighty then,  I'll ramble.

Hooking up my printer.

Oh and shopping, retail shopping.

Those are 2 totally off topic topics of recent interest and ? laughter for me.  I mean it gets to laughter.......eventually.

 

I'll go with retail shopping.  I mean in person, in the store.

And how almost all of them now have this thing going where everything is always on sale, or further discounts if you use your card, or if you shop on Tuesday(made that up), or if you are wearing jeans that day(again), or whatever.  Or rub off the discount on the card you get in the mail......to find out how much you WILL save.

Yet it is nearly impossible to figure out the end price, bottom line, until you get to the check out, payment register person.

I just find that......I really do, hilarious.

 

Mostly.....I'm glad and happy and have saved or felt like I have, by the time I check out.  Rarely am I spending too much for something.  So that's good.  And yes......I am one of those......never quite ready or feel that way....... for the holiday.

I feel real peace right on the holiday or the eve of.  I do.  Finally........then.

I am still meal planning........ and wanting to bake.......but torn too, as I don't need the sugar stuffs.........trying to find a decent pie recipe or something rather than cookies.

And still some serious giftage to do too.

 

And I hope that week between Christmas and New Years is really relaxing for everyone.  And that they get nice work breaks too.

And then all the other holidays to keep in mind too.  And oh my gosh, Winter Solstice is tomorrow, December 21st.  I love it, as after or shortly after........these long nights will start to recede again.  Right now I think it is 50/50 or maybe even more dark to light.

 

Well, I'll close here.  On December 16th, my 6 year anniversary off meds.........this year I went ski ing.  Seems fitting, as I missed some of doing any winter sport I'm sure during my healing/recovery.  And it was good.  Yay!  Cold, but I was not cold, until I headed down the mountain at the end.  Heavy powder which definitely was a work out.  My quest this season is for a light powder day.......an awesome forgiving, fun, floaty powder day.  It's been many years since I've hit it just right to get one.

 

Okay......ramble on.  The printer hook up.....in brief.......had me in tears finally.........just a little, and took for.ever.  Oh my gosh.  I think I still have a loose end on it to do.......something or other.......that still needs installing, or updating.......or.........anyway........I probably should celebrate and print something other than a test sheet. 

 

Happy holidays or peace to all of you, and rapid healing..........  May all feel just a little joy or experience a small miracle.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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manymoretodays

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I. am. all. done. shopping.

Well except for groceries.

And my usual kind of bumbling self......rolling right along.

Thankful.....that many of my difficulties are just of the normal variety......too many choices, etc.

It's menus today.

What to get, what to cook.....should I skip sweets entirely?  Can I ?

And deliveries.....I have some deliveries to make.  Kind of secretively.....sort of, depends.

 

I do so love this season of miracles it sometimes feels like.  Just little things.  They add up.

 

Oh man.....printer still won't print.  &8^%!!  Wifi !  Do I have to hold it right next to my modem???

Anyway.....getting back to yoga, as I had some sheets to download and print.......so studying Yoga again while striking poses.  I have an almost overwhelming amount of information around Yoga to try to incorporate.  So that is fun.  Bit by bit.  Piece by piece.  Terminology, practices, schools of thought and spirituality..........yowser.

 

A little lonely sometimes.  Still.  I mean my family is good to me, including Sun/son.  And Sphinxy, my cat.......you know she is just a cat, although very human.  And the neighbors......my gosh......they go all out with friendliness and kindness.......one could almost suffocate with it........only kidding.  I lucked out with where I am.   And my tribal mates.  I hear drums sometimes.  

 

So......just saying......because I hope you all know I appreciate my time here.  It cures it.  The lonely.

Another something great of recent accomplishment......is that I do "busy" now too.  I can offset with doing what is right in front of me, or what needs to be done.  I mean offset the sometimes thinking glitches I get into. 

And I don't mean one should not feel.  Ever.  But for me......being at a point where I can "busy" out of a mood is so great!!!

 

Seasons blessings.  Back soon.  Maybe a blueberry pie is okay.  I need to study cook books sometimes.  I think a roast.  Unless I can find some fairly fresh seafood.....think crab legs or large lobster tails. 

And then.....there is always Chinese food for Christmas day, right?  Unless they are closed as it will be on a Sunday.

 

Alrighty, off my behind now and on to the ground.....

 

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

1

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Golrabs Rookie

Golrabs

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Hello MMT,

 

In your full signature you mention that you went from 3mg Lexapro and then CT. I am nowhere near that now, but I am wondering, at what dose did you stop your Lexapro? Do you wish you had gone slower or are you happy with your decision to voluntarily go inpatient and get off once you were down to 3 mg?

 

Also, was this the worst part of your recovery?

 

Quote

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

 

2000-2018 Paroxetine

2018-2021 Prozac 20 mg 

2020-2022 Pramipexole .25 mg

2022 Pristiq 25 mg cold turkey May 1 (inpatient in 20 June 2022)

2022 Mirtazapine 15 mg cold turkey 20 June -  15 July 2002

2022 Escitalopram 5 - 15 mg  as 1 Jul 2022 - 30 November 2022

2022 Escitalopram 12.5 mg Dec 1 2022 - May 12 2023

2023 Escitalopram 11.5 mg May 2023 - June 2023

2023 Escitalopram 10.5 mg  as of June 12, 2023

2022 Clonazepam .375 mg  as of March 2023 - present

2022 Oxcarbazepine 300  mg  as of 1 Aug 2022 - present

2023 Escitalopram 10 mg  as of June 24, 2023

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manymoretodays Grand Master

manymoretodays

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Hey Golrabs,

6 hours ago, Golrabs said:

Do you wish you had gone slower or are you happy with your decision to voluntarily go inpatient and get off once you were down to 3 mg?

 

 I guess that is confusing.  Yes.  I wish I had gone slower AND done a crossover from solid Lexapro(escitalopram) 5 mg to liquid escitaloprm, while not decreasing my dose at all.

We have a topic now about how to cross over between forms of drug:

Cross Over: Changing form(eg tablet to liquid) of drug OR changing brand of same drug

 

I also did not go into the hospital inpatient to get off my escitalopram.  That was 2014.  I had not even visited survivingantidepressants.org yet.  I was just on escitalopram only.  I had previously come off Seroquel.  And had also been trialed on at least 28 other drugs, on and off again.

I went to the hospital because I could no longer function, was maybe into some akathisia(highly anxious, fearful, could not think straight, nor could I function with daily activities anymore), or just extreme acute WD.  I had gone right to liquid, as well as decreased my dose by much more than 10% of 5 mg in just a couple of days.

I didn't even know to suggest an updose of the escitalopram.

I didn't know much about tapering and WD then.

I didn't even get to see a shrink, or psychiatrist for about 2 days either, and they had zero knowledge of WD.

I could not, at that time, get my words out well enough when I did finally see the shrink......in a way, that might have led them to think about WD.  I mean I really did suspect something was going on, that wasn't as simplistic as a Mental Illness Disorder or Disease........but couldn't clearly state that.   Or ugh.....Non compliance.  Do they still use that term?   Thank goodness I was sometimes less than compliant when a medication made me sick or had adverse effects.

 

So no.  It wasn't even a decision really like the way you put it.  I did not go into the hospital to go off escitalopram at all.  I went because I couldn't function at home alone anymore at all.  I mean I wasn't suicidal or any of that.  Just, in retrospect.......in severe acute WD from escitalopram.  I didn't know that.  Neither did they.  At a top regional mental health facility.  In the U.S.  I was scared.  That was why I went voluntarily inpatient.  I needed structure and people around.  I did.

 

It may not be too much different today.   I gave a good enough history to them and had the liquid escitalopram with me, but that did not make it any different, as to how they treated me once inpatient.

 

I got moved around.  And finally saw the doctor, like I said 2 days into it.  They gave me standard issued medication at bedtime, which I was able to refuse the second night.......as the first night........it wasn't good.......not at all.

 

And got to give input as to the drugs I did try and then go home on.  So that was decent.   The other patients there......oh, they were great.  Some of the stuff we did too was decent.......groups with the psych techs, I went to a group with a social worker too, and just being out of my usual environment where I had been alone really and oh so sick.   WD sick. 

 

I even honestly told the shrink/doctor that I would give it 6 months, and then likely try to get off one of them(the 2 drugs I went home on),  and then later the other.  I just couldn't put it all into words what I already inherently and intuitively knew.  And didn't know then what I know now.......I mean regarding me, and my case and history and all.  And about tapering and WD.   I just knew I wouldn't ever get better staying with psychiatry.  That it wasn't right or working.

 

I hope that answers that question for you Golrabs.  @Golrabs

Do tag me, or use the @ and then add my name over on your thread. 

I see you are on the trileptal/oxcarbazepine as well.  And a benzo.  And your history of 20 years of this medical/pharmacological treatment.

 

I would love to help.  And educate you further too.

 

Second ?  Was that the worst part of my recovery?  I don't know.......I honestly don't.  Was one part worse than the other?  Hmmm.  I managed to get into the hospital by way of a receiving center.......which was nice.  No ER.  I was aware, as a peer friend suggested I might go this route.  I called a friend to take me at their convenience, and she did.  Right to the door of that receiving center that was located at the ......."mental hospital"........no way around that term.  Wow.  Almost 10 years now too......since my last inpatient.  I think that says a lot too, to possibly........ if any professionals are reading........that although it was tough......I won't lie, it was.........but I am better now than I ever had been in psychiatry's care......almost 3 decades of that.  I get to live again, as me.  I saw my outpatient psychiatrist once or twice after I came home.  And then just went with my regular doctor for any prescriptions I needed for tapering.

 

I'll mull it over......what WAS the worst part of my journey to healing?  Several things come to mind........not one worst part though.  I've had to re-frame my thinking.  How about the best part?  What's the best part for me?  Of my journey/recovery/healing.........???  Right now is.  My life today.

 

In healing.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
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Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16,  medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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