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where to go in crisis


Barbarannamated
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I can feel myself going dark and dont know where to go for help ~ I am so weak but I manage to drink a Boost or 2 a day~ my husband js an MD but ignores me ~ I am an inconvenience he told me ~

Im afraid to go to hospital as they treat everything as depression esp in one with a psych history

I have no idea when my labwork will be back

My friends talk to husband who tells them all is ok but it is far from that • of course they trust a doctor

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I can feel myself going dark and dont know where to go for help ~ I am so weak but I manage to drink a Boost or 2 a day~ my husband js an MD but ignores me ~ I am an inconvenience he told me ~

Im afraid to go to hospital as they treat everything as depression esp in one with a psych history

I have no idea when my labwork will be back

My friends talk to husband who tells them all is ok but it is far from that • of course they trust a doctor

 

Barb,

 

Lots of hugs. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling when your husband says that to you. Words can't express what I wish I could say to him.

 

Did your lab work test your vitamin D level? Since increasing mine, it has made a huge difference in my outlook.

 

Would it be worth trying to increase just to see what happens? Obviously, it is not going to make up for a horrible situation you are dealing with.

 

Can you talk more about why you are only consuming Boost?

 

Hugs

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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CS

I've had no appetite for several days now and Boost is all I've had the energy to consume ~i tried to eat a sandwich the other nite but it was too much work just to chew ~that sounds crazy but my energy and strength is that low •

I got a brochure for Comfort Keepers yesterday and may use their meal service ~there are no restaurants or grocery deliveries in my area

I'm fighting within myself between 'i just have to get out and do this' but complete exhaustion

I was eating well and even cooking a few weeks ago

I suspect that it has to to with neuroendocrine function

I recall when my appreciation of food returned back in August ~i suddenly remembered why eating out used to be primary entertainment

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hi, Barbarannamated

 

I only post here rarely because I'm not familiar with many of the newer drugs being mentioned often in this group, and especially because the advice given is usually so helpful and knowledgeable I have nothing further to contribute. But I do read on here as often as possible.

 

I haven't read all your posts, but a glance at a list of your posts and a search here didn't bring up anything that would give me more information about your c/t'g vyvanse last month, as noted in your signature.

 

I haven't been on amphetamines in about fifty (!) years and will never know which of the many medical problems i was having at that time may have been from discontinuance of them, but I do know that amphetamines are addictive (didn't know it then!) and also that stopping them is known to cause fatigue among other symptoms.

 

I don't know why you c/t'd the vyvanse - sometimes people have to c/t meds due to adverse reactions even if it causes worse w/d. I don't even know how long you were taking it. But I wonder if this might explain what you're experiencing now. c/t'g addictive meds causes w/d even if one was having an adverse reaction to the med, unfortunately.

 

It generally also causes increased appetite, but people vary in w/d symptoms from any meds, and I also can relate from more recent med w/d's being too weak to eat even when hungry. I remember quite well in my most recent w/d (paxil) being truly hungry (not appetite, but stomach empty) and literally feeling too weak to lift the fork to my mouth.

 

Certainly the blood tests you had should give you more information, including whether your Hashimoto's is an issue now or whether there are any problems you have been previous unaware of.

 

But I would certainly consider the vyvanse c/t as a possibility for at least some of your present problems.

 

I'm so sorry to hear what your husband said. Not knowing anything about him, but having a lot of experience with doctors, I've found that they feel their identity or worth as doctors is threatened when they don't know the answers to questions or don't know how to help. I hope he will revise his terminology (and attitude) in the future. You sure didn't need that.

 

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time right now.

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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I don't have any super wonderful advice, but I did want to jump in and send you lots of cyber hugs. Do you remember that old saying that things are darkest right before they get better?? Hoping that applies to you! :D

 

 

Charter Member 2011

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Thanks all and Brandy your input is very valuable ~sometimes connecting the random dots leads to answers

I don't know anything for sure but my endocrinologist explained that SSRIs (any increased serotonin I think) depletes the neurotransmitter dopamine in certain brain regions and cause Parkinsons and pituitary probs (Cushings maybe) ~ my treatment will likely involve dopamine agents (amphetamine is a lay term for some dopamine agents)~so i may have been "treating an endocrine condition with the Vyvanse and stopped the treatment (L-dopa Parlodel ADHD meds all enhance dopamine in some ways)

Ironically my horse has Cushings and ive been involved in veterinary studies of dopamine preparations for horses when they are lacking the neurotransmitter~ I think we're beginning to look and act alike ;) He's lethargic and grouchy Cushings horses lose alot of weight but not sure why

 

I never thought I'd be applying veterinary research to myself

 

CS ~

I took a vitD tablet and got the best 3hoursof sleep I can recall ~no idea if it was coincidence but thought I'd mention

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I can feel myself going dark and dont know where to go for help ~ I am so weak ...

 

 

...I've had no appetite for several days now and Boost is all I've had the energy to consume ~i tried to eat a sandwich the other nite but it was too much work just to chew ~that sounds crazy but my energy and strength is that low •...

I'm fighting within myself between 'i just have to get out and do this' but complete exhaustion

I was eating well and even cooking a few weeks ago...

 

DISCONTINUED TO DATE in addition to all those tried and DC'd above

Vyvanse -- December 2011 (cold turkey)

oxycodone IR--2008 using Suboxone (opiate agonist/antagonist)

Suboxone-- August 2011

*Pristiq (desvenlafaxine)- unsystematically tapered from 100mg by 25mg increments over 10 months, ending Spring 2011. Uncertain of date of last dose of ~25mg.

~Pristiq protracted withdrawal/discontinuation syndrome identified July 2011

~Opiate discontinuation was minor and manageable in comparison to SS/NRI discontinuation

By all means get tested (or get the results if tests have already been done) to rule out any medical condition.

 

But although I'd have to familiarize myself with your history and posts more, the way I'm connecting the dots is that you shouldn't be worrying very possibly needlessly (pending test results, of course) at what appears to be a change in your condition (per your posts in this thread), when that may well be due to actual vyvanse withdrawal. Not necessarily a condition the vyvanse may have been treating.

 

I don't know the exact date you c/t'd the vyvanse, but regardless of when in December you c/t'd it, w'd symptoms from psych med w/d do not always appear right away. (I had delayed w/d's to both benzo and to paxil w/d's, and possibly other meds previously where I also may not have seen a connection between stopping a med and symptoms delayed by weeks or even longer).

 

So unless an actual specific medical condition is found that could not be caused by w/d, my feeling is I'd be cautious about any proposed treatments for any new developments which may well be due to a c/t known to cause many of all of your recent problems. Neurotransmitters like dopamine (and the others) can fluctuate quickly and frequently when the body is recovering from w/d, especially a c/t.

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Brandy ~

I agree 100%

This endocrine situation is long standing --labs ordered in august--and i've talked to endocrine and other specialists for several moths trying to determine what testing would yield valid results and not values due to Pristiq withdrawal ~im not going to put anymore crap in my body that's already been trashed by so many psych drugs~not one has been able to tell me so I finally went thru with about $2000 of testing (in Thyroid section)

I think we're saying the same thing in not treating an iatrogenic imbalance with yet another drug

 

I've had longstanding autoimmune diseases and lost 40% of body weight over last several years--all overlooked by psychs )

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Barb,

 

Did the vitamin D tablet help stimulate your appetite by any chance? It always makes me hungry.

 

I know you want to be careful with supplements but would taking something like fish oil help because again, that always makes me hungry.

 

I am at a loss to come with useful advice in your situation. I feel so bad for you.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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Sorry to hear of your weight loss/no energy problems, which i can relate to. I lost an awful lot of weight when i went too fast, I kept shoving food in but kept losing it. I could tell the doctor did not believe I was eating. Yet I eat the same most days, and my weight has now stabilised. Not really going up, but not down anymore. Perhaps this is a WD issue from the last drug you reduced I dont know. I am back to being in bed today with lethargy and kidney pain after a poor nights sleep and possibly coming up to needing to reduce again. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think I can do this. That somewhere along the line my body won t be able to take anymore. But I am trying to just keep going and trying to believe though it is difficult. Where do you go in crisis? Well, I suppose you come right here. As for what your husband said, don't dwell on that, reserve your energy for getting through each day. And try to eat, just a little even if it seems like an effort, try bland stuff that does not take much effort to chew, soft foods perhaps. Sending you a hug.

Sept 2010 - Citalopram 1 day

Sept 2010 - Zopliclone for ten weeks (paranoia ended a couple of months after coming off this and sleep settled down again until the last couple of months)

Ocober 2010 - Cymbalta 30mg

November 2010 - Cymbalta 60mg

February 2011 - 60mg to 30 mg (lasted 10 days)reinstated 60mg

March 2011 - Took 2 60mg tablets on one evening in error - paralysis of face, back of head, shoulder, stabbing in right kidney, lost 30% of hearing)

March - June 2011 went down quickly 1mg a day until I got stuck at 25mg, went up to 27mg, because couldn't breath.

26th June - 26mg

3rd July - 25mg

17th July - 24mg

24th July - 23mg

7th Aug - began reducing by a bead every couple of days or so went well at first then hit a wall

24th October - now on 18.5mg. Since the kidney infection at start of September, have been in constant pain and anxiety, no let up. Given Ciprofloxacin.

8th Jan 2012 17.8mg (currently reducing 0.2mg a week)

8th Jan 2012 17.6mg last reduction was 6 days ago.

15th Jan 17.4mg

21st Jan 17.2mg

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I suspect that Vyvanse is the root of the problem. Being emotionally isolated by your husband is cruel and is stirring the pot of depression and lethargy caused by the Vyvanse WD.

 

Which benzo exactly are you taking? Your signature says Klonopin, but I thought that you mentioned Xanax in another thread. Anyway, just know that benzos can cause depression and lethargy.

 

How is your sleep? I know you were having problems with Trazadone. Gosh, I hate the hangovers from TCA's.

 

I suggest you just keep posting here in order to keep in touch with people and not isolate.

 

Do not go to a hospital, you know they will just drug you up and diagnose you as having Major Depressive Disorder. Then start you on a course of something you haven't been poisoned by yet (once they inventory the meds you have you have been on). Although, it would be a nice respite from your husband and he would probably support it. Being in a pysch ward can be so demeaning, but it can make your fight or flight kick in and give you the energy to push through this period of crisis.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Thanks everyone

I'm actually feeling much better today after sleeping much of the day yesterday and through the night ~my mood is much improved though I feel physically weak likely from lack of eating and moving around

Could Vit D help so quickly

I agree the Vyvanse is involved ~i didn't intentionally DC it but ran out which has happened before but I powered through ~i hope to talk to my endocrinologist tomorrow to get something to help ~he may just prescribe Vyvanse to get me through until lab results show what's going on ~

I hate this imbalance created by pharma's serotonin myth ~i was just reading more about SS/NRIs causing excess serotonin and worsening depression and many other neurologic and endocrine diseases~

David Healy recommends dopamine agents to get thru SSRI wd but not certain of reasoning --he may refer to as stimulants --

I've been on Klonopin since mid 90s to treat bruxism caused by Zoloft ~have taken Xanax occasionally but never regularly~

Trazodone is a serotonin agonist of some sort ~not an SSRI but does increase serotonin ~not a TCA that I've ever read ~ it is a different beast

 

Thanks again everyone

 

I don't have any easy place to escape to ~im estranged from the little family I have due to drug addict sister threatening to kill me many times and parents buying her drugs for years ~she lives with them last I heard ~across the country thankfully

 

My husband's family is best option at this point as all of mu friends here are filled to the max with family

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I am glad to hear you are feeling better.

 

I always thought that Trazadone was a TCA. Thank you for correcting me. There is such conflicting information on the Internet.

 

That's right, now I remember reading about your sister and her online pharmacy habits. If it helps to know you are not alone, I am permanently estranged from my father and brother. I will have to locate that thread about family and share that other horrific aspect of my life story.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Barb, I'm sending you lots of love and light. I can only imagine how awful it would be to hear that from you husband. My doctor said something the other day, downplaying my suffering, and it sent me into a deeper depression and self-loathing for a couple of days. It would be even harder from a doc that is your husband! Too bad we don't live near each other and we could get out and do uplifting, but easy things. There's a spiritual center I always want to go to but never have the motivation to go. There are Centers for Spiritual Living all over the country. It is good to get in a community of people like that. I know I need to walk my talk here.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Hey Barb,

 

Gosh. I'm sorry to hear what a rough go you've been experiencing. Glad to hear that things have been better here recently.

 

I agree with Whatever that staying in touch on the board and with any supportive people is important as you get through this stretch.

 

Also, when I was having a glut of digestive problems, I did much better on baby food -- I bought organic packets fairly cheaply -- than on those processed nutritional drinks, though my lousy experience was with one called Ensure.

 

Feel better, Barb.

 

Big hugs,

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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