Lesharp: My Story

[LESHARP]

Hello!

My name is Lora. I am 23 years old. This is my story.

This all started when I was 20. My parents flew me home to undergo a treatment called "TMS" to cure major depressive disorder. 

I have no history of seizures and on my 10th day, the machine gave me a grand mal seizure. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.

I began to fret days after in fear I was going to have another seizure. My parents live two hours from a good hospital so that fed my fears even more.

At the ER, a doctor handed me a bottle of Ativan telling me it was an anti-convulsant/anti-anxiety. GREAT! 

I have ZERO knowledge of drugs so I began to take 1 mg every night for a week as a safety tactic. 

I stopped and went into what I know now is severe withdrawal. 

Doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me so I had a neuro-psychiatrist put me on 2 whopping mg of Klonopin and told me he didn't care if I were on it for the rest of my life. 

For a 115 pound 20 year old girl, that is A LOT. 

Four months later I will still feeling sick, having scary symptoms, and majorly depressed.

I called my doctor and he proceeded to cut me cold turkey and gave me a bottle Xanax and told me I had one week to come off. 

I nearly lost my life that week. I cannot explain to you what I went through.

I was admitted to hospital where they stabilized me on 30 mg of Librium, 900 mg of Gabapentin, and 15 mg of Remeron.

I was then cut 10 mg when I left and was rapidly tapered so badly, it got dangerous.

I now have an AWESOME medical team.

My neurologist lets me micro taper with liquid Librium made by my compounding pharmacist.

Today I am on 12.52 mg of Librium, 500 mg of GABA, and 15 mg of Remeron. I AM FEELING MUCH BETTER MAY I ADD!

Next, I will micro taper Gabapentin and then micro taper Remeron. 

I will be done with benzos November of 2019 as I am taking this slow so I can live.

 

A few weeks after I left the hospital I cut 300 mg of GABA with no problem.

Then 6 months later I took a HORRID turn (benzos) and was forced to cut 100 mg of GABA and it was awful..

 

Any POSITIVE insight for someone who will be on Gabapentin for 4 years and micro tapering?

I am tired and I am terrified. 

 

Blessings to all of you!

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Hi lesharp and welcome to SA,

 

To get you started, we ask all members to create a drug signature which will show below every post you make.  Please use the following format:

 

A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature - ALL drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly?

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses.
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 

• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016.
• Link to Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

This is your own Intro topic where you can ask questions and journal your progress.  We encourage members to visit other members' topics so you can support each other.