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Gunnatrasha: My story


Gunnatrasha

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Hi, I'm from Italy, I'm 37 years old and I'm a girl. I'm sorry but my English is not good. I will try with a translator and with the words I know to write my story. It all started when I was 20, my partner died in a car accident and my mother got cancer. I resisted for 6 months then I collapsed; panic attacks, anxiety, agoraphobia. I locked myself in the house, nobody understood what I had. They took me to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me Xanax and Sereupin 20mg. I started the treatment and after 4 months I was fine, I left for France I spent a beautiful summer. In December 2001 I decided to stop the medicine but I was sick. I bounced like a crazy ball from one psychiatrist to another, they finally took me out of the sereupin and gave me the Citalopram (20mg). I've been taking it for over 10 years and have tried many times to stop but I've never done it. Now I realized that I was wrong HOW to do it, I stopped too fast. Now I'm determined to take it off even though I'm afraid of getting sick. I have decided that I will no longer address psychiatrists, now the best doctor is myself. I have read about taking 10% of the drug every 4 weeks and waiting for the body's response. I take the tablets and it is very difficult to cut them; how can I do? The drops know that they are different from the tablets, is it true? It was really happy to find you and read about how many managed to get out of it and how many warriors the world was sprinkled with. Now I have to do a program for myself to take back my life and me. who wants to give me some advice is well accepted. Sorry again for my ugly ugly English! Good fight to everyone

Gen / Feb / Mar / Apr / May 2015 - 20mg Citalopram

1 giugno 2015 15mg Citalopram - 1 luglio 2015 10mg Citalopram - 1 Ago 2015 5 mg Citalopram - 1 set 2015 fine Citalopram, fino a novembre stavo bene, poi è iniziato un incubo ... durante il ciclo mestruale sono stato distrutto, nervoso, spaventato da qualunque cosa. Ho provato EMDR ed è stato peggio perché ero molto debole. All'inizio di dicembre 2015 ho iniziato a sentirmi molto male, non vivevo più, non appena sono uscito il panico della casa mi ha attaccato. 10 dicembre 2015 vado da un medico psichiatra perché ero perso ... Avevo bisogno di nuovo il Citalopram.

11 dic 2015 - 5mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax - 16 dic 2015 10mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax ... Ero molto cattivo. Di notte mi svegliavo con attacchi d'ansia, tremavo, sudavo e volevo stare da solo. 1 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,10mg Xanax - 15 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,05 mg Xanax - 10 Feb 2016 20mg Citalopram ... ora 20mg Citalopram.

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  • Moderator

 

Hello, Gunnatrasha, and welcome to SA.  Don't worry about your English; it is fine.  I'm glad you found your way here before beginning your taper.

 

You are wise to be your own doctor in this situation.  The vast majority of doctors, including psychiatrists, know little, if anything, about withdrawing from antidepressants.

 

To start, in order to give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.
  • Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
  • Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
  • Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
  • Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
  • A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
  • Link to Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature
At Surviving Antidepressants, it is recommended that a person taper by no more than 10% of their current dose with at least a four week hold in-between decreases.  The 10% taper recommendation is a harm reduction approach to going off psychiatric drugs.  Some people may have to taper at a more conservative rate as they are sensitive to even the smallest drops.
  
To get you started, and familiarized with the protocols followed by SA, I am linking a few topics so that you have a better understanding of what is recommended here. 

Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

This link explains how the brain repairs itself from the damage done by antidepressants and why it is so import to taper slowly.

Brain Remodelling

 

You wrote that it is difficult for you to cut your pills.  By this, do you mean it is physically difficult to cut the pills or it is difficult to know the dose you are cutting off?

How to cut up tablets or pills

 

Regarding getting an accurate dosage when you taper off 10%, there are two methods that work well.  The first is to make a liquid from your tablet.

Making a citalopram solution yourself
 

The second method is to cut the pills and measure the dose with a digital scale.  I have used the Gemini-20 scale, available on Amazon.com, for my Lexapro taper, and I recommend it.  I don't know if this is available in Italy.

Using a digital scale to measure doses

 

When you wrote, "the drops know they are different from the tablet," did you mean that people can react differently to a liquid version of the drug?  Some (not all) people do, which is why a gradual crossover from tablet to liquid is recommended.

 

This is your introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community. I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but I am glad that you found us.

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg 

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Jan. 11, 2022: 5.4mg 

Taper is 71% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg and holding.  

Taper is 80% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Gunnatrasha: My story

Grazie Gridley, non mi aspettavo una risposta così rapida. Sono così felice di sapere che non sono solo in questa avventura. Ora leggerò tutti i link che mi hai lasciato; Avrò le risposte alle mie domande! Ora leggo e creo un programma per me stesso, sia per l'alimentazione che per l’attività fisica che per il dosaggio di Citalopram. Appena inizio la mia avventura ti aggiornerò. Se ho qualche dubbio scriverò qui. Grazie per essere qui ...

grazie mille

 

TRANSLATION by Google added by CC:

 

Thanks Gridley, I did not expect such a quick answer. I'm so happy to know that I'm not alone in this adventure. Now I will read all the links you left me; I will have the answers to my questions! Now I read and create a program for myself, both for food and for physical activity and for the dosage of Citalopram. As soon as I start my adventure I will update you. If I have any doubt I will write here. Thanks for being here ...

 

thank you so much

 

Edited by ChessieCat
Added translation

Gen / Feb / Mar / Apr / May 2015 - 20mg Citalopram

1 giugno 2015 15mg Citalopram - 1 luglio 2015 10mg Citalopram - 1 Ago 2015 5 mg Citalopram - 1 set 2015 fine Citalopram, fino a novembre stavo bene, poi è iniziato un incubo ... durante il ciclo mestruale sono stato distrutto, nervoso, spaventato da qualunque cosa. Ho provato EMDR ed è stato peggio perché ero molto debole. All'inizio di dicembre 2015 ho iniziato a sentirmi molto male, non vivevo più, non appena sono uscito il panico della casa mi ha attaccato. 10 dicembre 2015 vado da un medico psichiatra perché ero perso ... Avevo bisogno di nuovo il Citalopram.

11 dic 2015 - 5mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax - 16 dic 2015 10mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax ... Ero molto cattivo. Di notte mi svegliavo con attacchi d'ansia, tremavo, sudavo e volevo stare da solo. 1 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,10mg Xanax - 15 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,05 mg Xanax - 10 Feb 2016 20mg Citalopram ... ora 20mg Citalopram.

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Hello everyone! My question is: I have to fix the doses of citalopram. I have the tablets and I asked if I could file them to get the right dose. I have read the link but I not have found this.

Sorry for my English😅

Thank you

Gen / Feb / Mar / Apr / May 2015 - 20mg Citalopram

1 giugno 2015 15mg Citalopram - 1 luglio 2015 10mg Citalopram - 1 Ago 2015 5 mg Citalopram - 1 set 2015 fine Citalopram, fino a novembre stavo bene, poi è iniziato un incubo ... durante il ciclo mestruale sono stato distrutto, nervoso, spaventato da qualunque cosa. Ho provato EMDR ed è stato peggio perché ero molto debole. All'inizio di dicembre 2015 ho iniziato a sentirmi molto male, non vivevo più, non appena sono uscito il panico della casa mi ha attaccato. 10 dicembre 2015 vado da un medico psichiatra perché ero perso ... Avevo bisogno di nuovo il Citalopram.

11 dic 2015 - 5mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax - 16 dic 2015 10mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax ... Ero molto cattivo. Di notte mi svegliavo con attacchi d'ansia, tremavo, sudavo e volevo stare da solo. 1 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,10mg Xanax - 15 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,05 mg Xanax - 10 Feb 2016 20mg Citalopram ... ora 20mg Citalopram.

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  • Moderator

Filing is not recommended because it is not exact.  This link explains why:
Did I go wrong with my nailfile?

 

Tapering a liquid is more precise.

Using an oral syringe and other tapering techniques
How to use oral syringes, gelatin capsules, powdered tablets, and do-it-yourself liquid solutions
 
How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules
General instructions on making a homemade liquid suspension
 
Making a citalopram solution yourself
This is about citalopram (Celexa) but can be applied to most tablets that are not extended-release or sustained-release
 

Or, if you can get a Gemini-20 scale, you can use a pill cutter and weigh your doses.

 

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg 

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Jan. 11, 2022: 5.4mg 

Taper is 71% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg and holding.  

Taper is 80% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Ok I agree with you but if I weigh them after filing?? Is it ok? 

Gen / Feb / Mar / Apr / May 2015 - 20mg Citalopram

1 giugno 2015 15mg Citalopram - 1 luglio 2015 10mg Citalopram - 1 Ago 2015 5 mg Citalopram - 1 set 2015 fine Citalopram, fino a novembre stavo bene, poi è iniziato un incubo ... durante il ciclo mestruale sono stato distrutto, nervoso, spaventato da qualunque cosa. Ho provato EMDR ed è stato peggio perché ero molto debole. All'inizio di dicembre 2015 ho iniziato a sentirmi molto male, non vivevo più, non appena sono uscito il panico della casa mi ha attaccato. 10 dicembre 2015 vado da un medico psichiatra perché ero perso ... Avevo bisogno di nuovo il Citalopram.

11 dic 2015 - 5mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax - 16 dic 2015 10mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax ... Ero molto cattivo. Di notte mi svegliavo con attacchi d'ansia, tremavo, sudavo e volevo stare da solo. 1 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,10mg Xanax - 15 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,05 mg Xanax - 10 Feb 2016 20mg Citalopram ... ora 20mg Citalopram.

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  • Moderator

I think that would be fine.  But be sure you get an accurate weight with each pill, before filing and after. This is very important.   Do not guess.  Taking inconsistent doses would be very destabilizing to your nervous system.

 

Weigh your 20mg Citalopram.  It will weigh more than 20mg because the pills have fillers.   Then file off some little by little, weighing and weighing until you have decreased by 10% of whatever the whole pill weighed.  To get 10%, multiply the weight of the whole pill by .9.

 

Keep a record.  Here is what my chart looks like:

 

DATE                     CURRENT DOSE MG          PILL WEIGHT       % REDUCTION

                               ACTIVE INGREDIENT                               

                                      20                                                              0

Feb. 10                         18                                                             10%

March - April 10          18                                   (same)            4-week hold

April 10                        16.2                                                         10%

 

The following is an explanation by Brassmonkey, one of our moderators, of how he weighed his pills.  To get 10% less,  he multiplied the previous dose in pill weight by .9 = new dose in pill weight.

 

"When a person tapers using a scale to measure their dose it actually is done using percentages of the pill weight, because that's the way we have to weigh it.  Because all pills are not created equal weight, we then translate the pill weight into AI (active ingredient) weight to give us a common measurement to work with when we discuss our tapers.  [For Brassmonkey, the active ingredient weight of his starting dose was 40mg.  The pill weight was 500mg.  For you the active ingredient weight of your starting dose would be 20mg.  The pill weight would be what you find out using your scale.]

 

"I have conducted my entire taper using 40mg paxil tablets.  They weigh 500mg each. To calculate each dose reduction, I would do the following; (previous dose in pill weight) X .9 = new dose in pill weight.  This would be the amount I would weigh out.  But it would not equal the same pill weight dose of someone who was using 20mgai tablets, or someone using a different manufacturers tablets.  So to compare notes we need to use the AI calculation: (previous dose weight AI) X .9 = new dose in AI weight."

 

 

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg 

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Jan. 11, 2022: 5.4mg 

Taper is 71% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg and holding.  

Taper is 80% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Thank you Gridley, you're so kind😊

In Italy there are no forums like this and it is a very sad thing because everyone should have someone to talk to and discuss. Did you even start a diet or exercise program when you started scaling? I would like to start on March 1st, I'm so scared. I am afraid that my brain is invents of symptoms that do not exist only for fear. We are conditioned by these drugs we think that we can never live without but that’s not true. Everyone can do it, it takes so much strength and be very determined.

if I manage to get out of it, it will also be thanks to this forum!

Gen / Feb / Mar / Apr / May 2015 - 20mg Citalopram

1 giugno 2015 15mg Citalopram - 1 luglio 2015 10mg Citalopram - 1 Ago 2015 5 mg Citalopram - 1 set 2015 fine Citalopram, fino a novembre stavo bene, poi è iniziato un incubo ... durante il ciclo mestruale sono stato distrutto, nervoso, spaventato da qualunque cosa. Ho provato EMDR ed è stato peggio perché ero molto debole. All'inizio di dicembre 2015 ho iniziato a sentirmi molto male, non vivevo più, non appena sono uscito il panico della casa mi ha attaccato. 10 dicembre 2015 vado da un medico psichiatra perché ero perso ... Avevo bisogno di nuovo il Citalopram.

11 dic 2015 - 5mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax - 16 dic 2015 10mg Citalopram + 0,20mg Xanax ... Ero molto cattivo. Di notte mi svegliavo con attacchi d'ansia, tremavo, sudavo e volevo stare da solo. 1 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,10mg Xanax - 15 gennaio 2016 20mg Citalopram + 0,05 mg Xanax - 10 Feb 2016 20mg Citalopram ... ora 20mg Citalopram.

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  • Moderator

You will get off this drug.  Yes, we are told by doctors we can't live without them, but as you said, that's simply not true.

 

Don't be scared about what your brain invents.  It is very common in withdrawal for the brain to invent feelings would not exist if we were healed.  These are called neuroemotions, and the link below explains them.


I would be gradual in starting a special diet or exercise program as you begin your taper.  You will be more sensitive.  Of course, eat healthily and avoid caffeine and sugar, but make changes in your diet slowly.  With exercise, though some members report good results from strenuous exercise, others find strenuous exercise to be too much for their sensitized systems.  I would start off gradually, such as a gentle 30-minute walk in nature, and work up from there.  See how it goes as you get farther into your taper.  

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg 

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper.  Current dose as of Jan. 11, 2022: 5.4mg 

Taper is 71% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan-Sept 2016 tapered to 16mg.  

Held until Aug 2021, tapered for 4 weeks to 14.4mg and holding.  

Taper is 80% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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