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Grayskies

I have just read almost all of “Prozac backlash” and It kind of blew my mind. I am sure this is old news for most of you on this site, I just had no idea.

 

I also had tried to go off Effexor pretty much cold turkey and basically was a ball of nerves, sobbing uncontrollably the whole time. I thought at the time, “my anxiety must really be this bad, i guess i really cannot function without my AD.”

OMG. I had no idea this was such a universal experience for people to go through such difficulty when trying to get off them. And to try to do this without any coping skills too? That was entering a losing battle. I am now seeing a therapist and I feel empowered to do this for the first time in my life. Having this community is really great too, to know it’s hard to do for all of us. For the first time in my life I suddenly see that this has been a lie I have told myself for years, that I need these to function. I always assumed “some people need meds for mental health and some don’t.” 

 

Reading this book demonstrating the actual figures for people who manage their depression/anxiety without meds is truly uplifting for me. 

 

I have had a rough month trying to start the taper. Someone tried to attack me at my job (this has never happpened to me before) and I was quite affected by it, starting to feel my anxiety sky rocket even on my full dose. This event set off some really tough emotions for me as I already have a stressful job and have been working on ways to move to something less stressful for me. For financial reasons, I need to stick with it for another 1.5 years. I feel pretty angry and anxious the first few days after a taper, I have noticed and the lightening strike emotions are there. I think mindfulness and encouraging self-talk in preparation for this possibility is key for me. Like positive visulations, even practice (role play) like what will i say if XYZ happens. 

 

I am on 121.5 mg of my effexor right now which is the second taper I have done. Much of my focus has been on the bad sides of my withdrawal.

I go to Zumba pretty religiously :) and yesterday in my class I felt something I haven’t felt for a very long time—- it was joy. I felt joyful as I moved, and used my body, and felt alive. I felt free. I realized that this feeling has been covered up for some time in addition to my demons I am now facing. I was sitting in the sunshine with my dog and drinking coffee, listening to the birds sing, and I thought.. this is truly a perfect moment. It has been so difficult for me to feel moved in any way for the last 7 years. And in the back of my head I can feel my anxiety telling me “this won’t last, you could still be in trouble, you could still be unsafe...” And I am letting myself just for now to feel alive, like I am waking up.  


2014 Effexor 225 mg, 2015- Paxil then back to Effexor (attempted to taper too quickly by half for 2 weeks) returned to 150 mg of Effexor, 2016 -March 2018 Effexor XR 150 mg (generic), March 2018– 135 mg Effexor XR,  4/9/18- 121.5 mg, 5/12/18- 101.25 mg, 5/29/18- 91.12, 6/9/18- 75 mg, 6/30/18- 60 mg, 7/12/18- 45 mg, 10/8/18-40.5 mg, 10/29/18 36.45 mg, 11/1/18- 30.25 mg, 12/9/18 25.7 mg
2/24/19- 20.56 mg, 3/16/19- 45 mg, 5/6/19-40.5, 6/8/19-36.45 7/19- 32.8- 8/19-29.5

 

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Gridley

Very happy that you're doing well and waking up, Grayskies.  Encouraging self-talk is very helpful.  I am implementing a new program of not thinking overmuch about the past.  


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Began taper using Brassmonkey slide Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Current from Sept.23, 2020 at 0.05mg

Taper is 99.75% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .33mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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ProzacNation

Reading the description of you "waking up" is pretty inspiring. I hope all has gone well since you've started your taper.


Dec 2018 - Jan 31 2019 Prozac 10mg

Mar 01 2019 - Jun 29 2019 Taken sporadically

Jun 30 2019 - Jul 19 2019 Prozac 10mg

July 19 CT

Sometime Aug-Sept 2019 Duloxetine 30 mg Taken sporadically

Sept 26 2019 Escitalopram 20 mg and Klonopin (Unknown)

 

 

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