☼ gentlehermione: life after ADs

[Erell]

What a gift you are making to us @gentlehermione with this wonderful update, and what a well-deserved relief ❤ Thank you !

[gentlehermione]

Dear @Erell you're most welcome, c'est un plaisir!

 

May we all find inner peace and happiness at the end of this ordeal 🥰

[gentlehermione]

After almost eight weeks of enjoying a beautiful window, I've been plunged into a wave of massive anxiety (ectopics, sporadic head pressure, cortisol spikes, muscle tension, fatigue, the odd minor panic attack and feeling downright terrified 😱). Just to be on the safe side I had a complete blood count done and saw my cardiologist. No abnormalities whatsoever! But the anxiety is really bad... as severe as during the initial stages of withdrawal... Is this the storm before the calm? I do hope so!

[Frogie]

@gentlehermione

 

I'm sorry you are going through this. But it sounds like a normal wave.

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Fear, terror, panic, and anxiety

 

Hang in there, it will get better.

[gentlehermione]

@Frogie

 

Thank you for your words of encouragement and the links.

 

I had somehow naively hoped that perhaps withdrawal was over and wasn't at all prepared for such a violent wave. Over the course of the past four years of WD, this is literally the first time that I have panicked and run to consult a medical professional 😵

 

This is definitely a wave.

Alto:  I've experienced waves. I'll have a window when I feel better, then a wave, which feels as bad as ever, except a little different.

Exactly!

 

[Frogie]

@gentlehermione

 

You are very welcome. Hopefully your wave won't last long.

[Erell]

Hello dear @gentlehermione, 

 

As I don't think I'll manage to express my support as best as I want, I will share with you one of my favorite quote from Baylissa (don't know where I found it first).
Be assured that you are not alone 🧡

 

« If your symptoms are intense and the "What if I never get better" thoughts hover, please remember that the natural progression withdrawal takes is for the symptoms to either gradually go away or to spontaneously disappear. Everyone's journey is unique and the challenges vary, but the one thing that is consistent with this experience is that people do eventually recover and go on to live fully functional lives. YOU WILL TOO! So, dear friends, breathe through whatever is happening today, do what you can to cope, and always keep trusting that your healing is taking place and that recovery will be YOUR outcome.

 

If this was shared every day, it would still be not too often: Your withdrawal experience is just a chapter in your life. Please don’t see it as your whole life. I know that having to put all your resources & mental capabilities into coping can be all-consuming & may make it seem that this is all there is & ever will be. No, this is a challenge that will one day come to an end. Why am I so confident? Because of all the ‘good news’ emails I have received over the years from people who once thought they were literally going mad or dying, as a result of a bad withdrawal. It wasn’t always easy & for some, recovery took longer than anticipated. But inevitably, the day came when the symptoms began to disappear and, eventually, the new beginning arrived. This day will come for you too, so keep holding on… keep trusting. This, too, shall pass!

 

Please don’t despair. As bad as things are now, they won’t last. Over the years I have spoken to 1000s of people, many... of whom at some point or other were convinced they would never heal – that somehow, with such terrible symptoms, it would be impossible to get better. But they did recover and are now busy with life: family, work, holidays, etc. Dear Friends, this will happen for you too. Never underestimate the ability of the human body to heal. Your receptors are in the process of being up-regulated and when this has been accomplished, your nervous system will begin to function properly and all these terrible symptoms will disappear. So see if you can breathe through the pain and/or other symptoms and keep reminding yourself that you are going to be well again. Stay focused on the timely recovery that is on its way and this will help to keep the fear and worry thoughts at bay. Keep your chin up. You are stronger than you think and you will make it through this… just like the many before you. »

 

Edited January 22, 2022 by Erell

[Rosetta]

Hi.  Oh those really bad waves after so much progress.  They are hard to experience.  A lot of healing occurs afterward, but during the tumult it’s pretty tough.  I hope you are coming out of it.  Take care, R

[gentlehermione]

9 hours ago, Rosetta said:

A lot of healing occurs afterward, but during the tumult it’s pretty tough.  I hope you are coming out of it. 

 

Dear @Rosetta thank you for your good wishes. The wave let up a bit briefly a few days ago but is now back in full force 😒 It's been 2 1/2 weeks so far. Needless to say, I'm so looking forward to the healing! I think part of the problem is perhaps a lack of acceptance on my part. It's so unfair to have to experience this for so long. (Sorry, just my little "woe is me" moment.)

 

Hope you're in a better place 🥰

[Lilabella]

I've read through your thread and just wanted to say I'm sorry you are dealing with another wave. I think baylissa's words are so true please hold on to the knowledge that this is the process of healing and every wave is another step on that path. Go easy healing is happening all the time. 

[gentlehermione]

7 hours ago, Lilabella said:

please hold on to the knowledge that this is the process of healing and every wave is another step on that path. Go easy healing is happening all the time. 

 

@Lilabella Thank you for your support. Yes, we must all believe in recovery, even during the darkest moments of this journey.

 

Wishing you well and sending you healing thoughts 🥰 

[Rosetta]

Yes, I am feeling better, I think.  I hope you are, too.

[gentlehermione]

@Rosetta glad to hear you're on the mend. These heavy waves are so hard on us 😟

 

I can report a slight improvement - or is it just that I'm coping better?!

 

Take care 🥰

[Erell]

Hello dear @gentlehermione, 
How are you doing ?

Thinking of you !

[gentlehermione]

Hello dear @Erell

 

How kind of you to enquire 🥰

 

After almost two months in a horrible wave - with many ups and downs - I have gradually been able to pull out of it. I'm still having the odd off day but my baseline seems to have improved substantially. What a relief! "Sigh"

 

How are you coping?

 

Kind regards, GH

[Erell]

@gentlehermione, I'm so glad to read that your wave subsided and that you reached a place with more peace. 
So well deserved, no doubt !

I know it's been a long journey for you, and I can imagine how tiring that roller coaster is. I'm grateful for you being here and sharing with us your journey. You are a true inspiration for me.

 

We will get there gentlehermione, I have no doubt. It's just that the road can be so painful. Be assured you're not alone ❤️

 

Well, currently I'm coping by burying my head in the sand about the present and living in an imaginary future. 😅

I don't know if it's the right choice, but it's the survival strategy my brain is adopting right now: I tell myself I'm building my future, and I'm preparing for it by taking distance learning courses.
I'm also trying to build the person I want to be in the future, and even if I don't feel the benefits yet, I'm happy to become someone who puts the well-being of her nervous system first. 

 

Have a nice day ☀️🌼

[gentlehermione]

On 3/17/2022 at 9:08 AM, Erell said:

Well, currently I'm coping by burying my head in the sand about the present and living in an imaginary future. 😅🌼

 

Dear @Erell perhaps it's not a bad idea! If it enables you to survive and just get through each day then, by all means. That's how I coped for a long time as I just couldn't handle too much stimulation from the outside world.

 

Take care 🥰

 

[Erell]

Hello @gentlehermione,

How are you doing ?

Thinking of you ☀️

[gentlehermione]

@Erell Nice to hear from you 🥰

 

The first six months of this year found me more or less in an ongoing wave with anxiety and heart palpitations. Two visits during that time to the cardiologist 😳 were able to give me some reassurance. Much to my surprise in summer I experienced a good month-long window where almost all symptoms abated 😀  Unfortunately I'm now back in a wave with pronounced anxiety and pvcs. At 4 years 9 months out I had so hoped to be feeling much better!

 

On the up side, my baseline has definitely improved. But unfortunately atm I'm being challenged on a daily basis by the beast known as withdrawal! Looking forward to better days, indeed.

 

I'll stop by your thread to get an update on how you're doing 😉

 

Tout de bon and take care 🥰

[Erell]

Hello @gentlehermione, 
How are you doing ?

Thinking of you ☀️

[gentlehermione]

Dear @Erell

 

Thank you for stopping by 🥰

 

November 17th marked 5 years off ADs (surely the most gruelling and tortuous period of my life)!

 

I am definitely feeling better these days. My most recent wave was about a month ago and only lasted for two days.

 

Perhaps in 2023 I'll be able to write my success story? I do hope so!

 

Patience, perseverance and acceptance...

 

 

[arbor]

This is wonderful news @gentlehermione 🌈🎵🎈  Thank you for sharing!!!  It's a holiday gift to hear that you are feeling better.  

Many warm wishes,

Arbor

[gentlehermione]

63 months out! And waves still happening…

I haven’t posted for a while as I’ve been dealing with several major stressors over the past months. On top of these, two weeks ago, I caught a virus - probably due to the fact that I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress. On Friday I had to start taking Amoxicillin for sinusitis but had already been plunged into a wave when the virus started. And so the wave continues 😕 My GP offered me Cipro but thanks to the wealth of information on SA I refused it and said I would prefer Amoxicillin. He had no idea that Cipro could be a problematic choice for people with a history of psych meds and thanked me for the information!

[j1290]

@gentlehermione  Appreciate the update, and the warning about Cipro!  I'd heard around here people were having trouble but didn't know it was related to one type or brand or another, good  to know!

[gentlehermione]

Dear @j1290

 

It’s not only Cipro. Here’s an interesting thread

 

 

[j1290]

@gentlehermione

Thank you so much!  I'm still so naive about meds even at this point I never would have guessed antibiotics could interfere.   I'm still learning new things about these every day.   Thank you for the link, I'm enjoying the reading!

[littlebird]

8 minutes ago, j1290 said:

@gentlehermione

Thank you so much!  I'm still so naive about meds even at this point I never would have guessed antibiotics could interfere.   I'm still learning new things about these every day.   Thank you for the link, I'm enjoying the reading!

 

OMG, I had no idea!! This is so good to know, thank you.

[gentlehermione]

I had to use Nasonex (along with 10 days of Amoxicillin) for two weeks to treat my sinusitis and was told that such a small dose of corticosteroid shouldn’t be a problem. Something sure has revved up my anxiety and I don’t think it was the ABs. I stopped using Nasonex on March 6th. Can anyone advise as to how long it takes to recover?? Thanks for any feedback!

[gentlehermione]

Today marks four weeks since I finished the ABs and I am slowly starting to feel slightly better - not back to my pre-virus self but hopefully will be soon. The question is, was it the Amoxicillin or the Nasonex which triggered this setback?? Due to a skin infection from a rose thorn two years ago I was on a short course of Amoxicillin and don't recall having experienced any problems 🤔

[Rosetta]

Hi.  How are you doing?  I’m sorry I didn’t respond when you wrote on my thread way back in July.  Did your troubles from the steroids resolve?  
 

My condolences about your dogs — very late I’m afraid.  This year has been really crazy, but I wish I had written back. That is very sad and shocking, too.  I’m so sorry.  
 

I hope you are doing all right.

 

🧚‍♀️Rosetta

[gentlehermione]

Dear @Rosetta

 

Thank you for your condolences ❤️

 

It‘s been really tough for the past months, one stressor after another. Just when I thought things would start to pick up I found myself in a massive wave with disturbing GI issues - so bad that I had a colonoscopy. No abnormalities! I’m beginning to think it was a delayed reaction to all the stress…

 

Yes, this year has been difficult for me, too. I so miss our dear departed dogs, especially my beloved Springer Spaniel who saved my life six years ago 😇

 

I’m trying to pick myself up and dust myself off 😉 and am feeling much more confident than a few weeks ago. Hope you are, too!

 

Big hugs, GH

[gentlehermione]

On 9/6/2023 at 6:50 AM, Rosetta said:

Did your troubles from the steroids resolve?  

Yes but it took a couple of weeks.

[Rosetta]

I’m very happy to hear that you are feeling better.  Stress is very damaging!

[gentlehermione]

Coming up to six years off and still experiencing windows and waves…

 

Well, what can I say except that I sincerely hope to put the nightmare of withdrawal behind me one day - preferably sooner than later 😉

 

Feeling disheartened atm as I find myself in a rather significant wave. It started ten days ago with the change in seasons bringing on increased anxiety, muscle tension (legs and neck/shoulders), and a return of slight head pressure/lightheadedness which I haven‘t experienced in a loooong time.

 

Perhaps the duration of this wicked withdrawal has been caused by going cold turkey - who knows? Frankly, I don‘t really care what has caused it, I just want it to end!

[gentlehermione]

Still in the thick of this awful wave - lightheadedness, muscle tension in legs along with tingling (parathesia?) in feet and lower calves. This is almost reminiscent of symptoms I experienced during the first two years of WD 😱 I never would have expected this at six years out 🙁

Feeling disheartened…

[gentlehermione]

I wrote on the The Windows and Waves Patterns of Stabilization thread:

 

”Over time the waves have lessened in intensity and are of shorter duration.”

 

Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut!