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☼ gentlehermione: life after ADs


gentlehermione

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  • Moderator

What a gift you are making to us @gentlehermione with this wonderful update, and what a well-deserved relief ❤ Thank you !

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.24mg (18 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Dear @Erell you're most welcome, c'est un plaisir!

 

May we all find inner peace and happiness at the end of this ordeal 🥰

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

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  • 4 weeks later...

After almost eight weeks of enjoying a beautiful window, I've been plunged into a wave of massive anxiety (ectopics, sporadic head pressure, cortisol spikes, muscle tension, fatigue, the odd minor panic attack and feeling downright terrified 😱). Just to be on the safe side I had a complete blood count done and saw my cardiologist. No abnormalities whatsoever! But the anxiety is really bad... as severe as during the initial stages of withdrawal... Is this the storm before the calm? I do hope so!

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

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  • Moderator

@gentlehermione

 

I'm sorry you are going through this. But it sounds like a normal wave.

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Fear, terror, panic, and anxiety

 

Hang in there, it will get better.

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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@Frogie

 

Thank you for your words of encouragement and the links.

 

I had somehow naively hoped that perhaps withdrawal was over and wasn't at all prepared for such a violent wave. Over the course of the past four years of WD, this is literally the first time that I have panicked and run to consult a medical professional 😵

 

This is definitely a wave.

Alto:  I've experienced waves. I'll have a window when I feel better, then a wave, which feels as bad as ever, except a little different.

Exactly!

 

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

Link to comment
  • Moderator

@gentlehermione

 

You are very welcome. Hopefully your wave won't last long.

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator

Hello dear @gentlehermione

 

As I don't think I'll manage to express my support as best as I want, I will share with you one of my favorite quote from Baylissa (don't know where I found it first).
Be assured that you are not alone 🧡

 

« If your symptoms are intense and the "What if I never get better" thoughts hover, please remember that the natural progression withdrawal takes is for the symptoms to either gradually go away or to spontaneously disappear. Everyone's journey is unique and the challenges vary, but the one thing that is consistent with this experience is that people do eventually recover and go on to live fully functional lives. YOU WILL TOO! So, dear friends, breathe through whatever is happening today, do what you can to cope, and always keep trusting that your healing is taking place and that recovery will be YOUR outcome.

 

If this was shared every day, it would still be not too often: Your withdrawal experience is just a chapter in your life. Please don’t see it as your whole life. I know that having to put all your resources & mental capabilities into coping can be all-consuming & may make it seem that this is all there is & ever will be. No, this is a challenge that will one day come to an end. Why am I so confident? Because of all the ‘good news’ emails I have received over the years from people who once thought they were literally going mad or dying, as a result of a bad withdrawal. It wasn’t always easy & for some, recovery took longer than anticipated. But inevitably, the day came when the symptoms began to disappear and, eventually, the new beginning arrived. This day will come for you too, so keep holding on… keep trusting. This, too, shall pass!

 

Please don’t despair. As bad as things are now, they won’t last. Over the years I have spoken to 1000s of people, many... of whom at some point or other were convinced they would never heal – that somehow, with such terrible symptoms, it would be impossible to get better. But they did recover and are now busy with life: family, work, holidays, etc. Dear Friends, this will happen for you too. Never underestimate the ability of the human body to heal. Your receptors are in the process of being up-regulated and when this has been accomplished, your nervous system will begin to function properly and all these terrible symptoms will disappear. So see if you can breathe through the pain and/or other symptoms and keep reminding yourself that you are going to be well again. Stay focused on the timely recovery that is on its way and this will help to keep the fear and worry thoughts at bay. Keep your chin up. You are stronger than you think and you will make it through this… just like the many before you. »

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.24mg (18 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hi.  Oh those really bad waves after so much progress.  They are hard to experience.  A lot of healing occurs afterward, but during the tumult it’s pretty tough.  I hope you are coming out of it.  Take care, R

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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9 hours ago, Rosetta said:

A lot of healing occurs afterward, but during the tumult it’s pretty tough.  I hope you are coming out of it. 

 

Dear @Rosetta thank you for your good wishes. The wave let up a bit briefly a few days ago but is now back in full force 😒 It's been 2 1/2 weeks so far. Needless to say, I'm so looking forward to the healing! I think part of the problem is perhaps a lack of acceptance on my part. It's so unfair to have to experience this for so long. (Sorry, just my little "woe is me" moment.)

 

Hope you're in a better place 🥰

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

Link to comment

I've read through your thread and just wanted to say I'm sorry you are dealing with another wave. I think baylissa's words are so true please hold on to the knowledge that this is the process of healing and every wave is another step on that path. Go easy healing is happening all the time. 

11 July 2018 3.75mg zopiclone 14 days missed one dose at least doubled one dose 

22 July 2018 2 mg Valium one week ish

30/july/18 quetiapine 25

31/july/2018 quetiapine 100

1/August/2018 quetiapine 200

14/August/2018 quetiapine 100

14/ September /2018 Quetiapine 87.5mg

Not doing so well on this drop. 

many changes up and down as doctors didn't believe me when I said I needed to go slowly down. Withdrawal became impossible to function and I was hospitalised. 

Feb 2021- now  10 mg olanzapine 

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7 hours ago, Lilabella said:

please hold on to the knowledge that this is the process of healing and every wave is another step on that path. Go easy healing is happening all the time. 

 

@Lilabella Thank you for your support. Yes, we must all believe in recovery, even during the darkest moments of this journey.

 

Wishing you well and sending you healing thoughts 🥰 

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

Link to comment

Yes, I am feeling better, I think.  I hope you are, too.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

@Rosetta glad to hear you're on the mend. These heavy waves are so hard on us 😟

 

I can report a slight improvement - or is it just that I'm coping better?!

 

Take care 🥰

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
  • Moderator

Hello dear @gentlehermione
How are you doing ?

Thinking of you !

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.24mg (18 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

Hello dear @Erell

 

How kind of you to enquire 🥰

 

After almost two months in a horrible wave - with many ups and downs - I have gradually been able to pull out of it. I'm still having the odd off day but my baseline seems to have improved substantially. What a relief! "Sigh"

 

How are you coping?

 

Kind regards, GH

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

Link to comment
  • Moderator

@gentlehermione, I'm so glad to read that your wave subsided and that you reached a place with more peace. 
So well deserved, no doubt !

I know it's been a long journey for you, and I can imagine how tiring that roller coaster is. I'm grateful for you being here and sharing with us your journey. You are a true inspiration for me.

 

We will get there gentlehermione, I have no doubt. It's just that the road can be so painful. Be assured you're not alone ❤️

 

Well, currently I'm coping by burying my head in the sand about the present and living in an imaginary future. 😅

I don't know if it's the right choice, but it's the survival strategy my brain is adopting right now: I tell myself I'm building my future, and I'm preparing for it by taking distance learning courses.
I'm also trying to build the person I want to be in the future, and even if I don't feel the benefits yet, I'm happy to become someone who puts the well-being of her nervous system first. 

 

Have a nice day ☀️🌼

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.24mg (18 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/17/2022 at 9:08 AM, Erell said:

Well, currently I'm coping by burying my head in the sand about the present and living in an imaginary future. 😅🌼

 

Dear @Erell perhaps it's not a bad idea! If it enables you to survive and just get through each day then, by all means. That's how I coped for a long time as I just couldn't handle too much stimulation from the outside world.

 

Take care 🥰

 

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

Link to comment
  • 5 months later...
  • Moderator

Hello @gentlehermione,

How are you doing ?

Thinking of you ☀️

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.24mg (18 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to comment

@Erell Nice to hear from you 🥰

 

The first six months of this year found me more or less in an ongoing wave with anxiety and heart palpitations. Two visits during that time to the cardiologist 😳 were able to give me some reassurance. Much to my surprise in summer I experienced a good month-long window where almost all symptoms abated 😀  Unfortunately I'm now back in a wave with pronounced anxiety and pvcs. At 4 years 9 months out I had so hoped to be feeling much better!

 

On the up side, my baseline has definitely improved. But unfortunately atm I'm being challenged on a daily basis by the beast known as withdrawal! Looking forward to better days, indeed.

 

I'll stop by your thread to get an update on how you're doing 😉

 

Tout de bon and take care 🥰

Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 

Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017)

SCA Aug 12th, 2017

Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons)

Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020        

Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018

Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium

What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening.

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