berserker: Anafranil, Mirtazapine and low testosterone

[berserker]

Hello,

 

First post here. I have been suffering of Anxiety, Depression and Pure O since I was 17. I am 42 now.

 

In the last 9 years I have been taking Anafranil 150 mgs daily for my ocd. The drug has always worked good. In the last 4 years I progressively started to have more fatigue, depression, ED and loss penis sensibility. I thought it was a side effect of the drug. These issues increased in the last months but libido was always there. I went to my psychiatrist and decided to try Mirtazapine starting with 15 mgs. After 10 days my libido completely dropped (no sexual thoughts, no erection) at the same time I discovered I have really low testosterone levels (could be the cause of what's happening above).

 

So I started to get super anxious about having lost my capacity of having sex and arousal (really important for me). It was like I had a switch off in my brain and I don't know if it's because of adding mirtazapine or because of the low testosterone.

 

I spent more than one month in complete panic, obsessing over everything and suicidal, thinking I would not be able to have sex anymore and a relationship. Now I think I would like to try to taper Mirtazapine as I am still fresh. I have no idea on what to do. Urologist says that I suffer of hypogonadism and I will probably go on hormone replacement. Any advice is welcome....Thanks

 

Edited July 1, 2018 by ChessieCat
added spacing

[mammaP]

Hi Berserker, welcome to SA. 

Are you still taking anafranil?

When did you start mirtazepine? 

 

It will help us if you fill in your signature, we  require all our members to do this, you can find instructions here. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

When we have the information we will be able to offer some suggestions. 

 

 

 

 

[berserker]

So things kind of went downhill from my last message.

After one month and half of sleeping 3 hours at night and panicking all day, I felt suicidal and tried to take my life but I had not the courage to pull the plug. A life with sexual dysfunction and impotence seems too hard to live for me.

The result of this was that I have been hospitalised (voluntarily). I am now in this clinic that it's more for addicts that people struggling with depression, anxiety and mental health.

So at the moment, I am taking:

150 mgs Anafranil

15 mgs Mirtazapine

They are giving me olanzapine and lorazepam for obsessive thoughts and sleeping and it's helping.

I will have a discussion with a psychiatrist to understand what to do with all these medications.

My plan would be to taper Anafranil, Mirtazapine, Olanzapine and Lorazepam and probably start with Luvox for OCD.

As I described in my first post, I had a kind of Libido drop (no sexual thoughts) and not getting erections in the time span of 2 days. This made me hyperdrive/obsessive/anxious status 24/7. I fear that I will not regain my sexual function as everything feels dead down there and in my brain too.

While on Anafranil in the last years I was having some strange erection/libido issues but they were kind of random. After I took mirtazapine for 2 weeks hell broke loose. I was having burning skin sensations, hot sweats etc probably caused by the anxiety for my sexual dysfunction.

Any kind of suggestion is welcome....I hope that eliminating Anafranil and Mirtazapine my sexual functions will come  back but my ocd will probably increase too...I am lost at what to do...thanks

 

[Altostrata]

Psychiatric drugs are well-known for causing sexual dysfunction.

 

Obsessing and panicking about this, and convincing yourself it will last forever, are emotions under your control. You will need to learn techniques to stop scaring yourself. The more self-destructive you are, the more drugs you will be forced to take.

 

See

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

[berserker]

Thanks I will have a look to those links...

 

[berserker]

I am really scared I have Pssd....it all came suddenly in a couple of days...

[berserker]

I really don't understand....how is it possible that after years of taking a medication with no big problems, all of this happens? Libido completely wiped out. I would like to start tapering it but psychiatrist says that I need to 'stabilise' myself (considered that one week ago I was seriously suicidal). I am lost at what to do....

[berserker]

Any idea? Can side effects show up after years of use?  

[frasier23]

Yes for me it happened after 2 years of SSRI (havent written about that here). I focused on other things but eventully crashed. Try find other things in life during the recovery and stay healthy and med free its the only thing you can do. It make take many years.. 

 

Doing other things will just make things worse and possible a ticket to The nut house and even more problem. (trust me ED can suddenly become a small problem when your brain is fked) 

 

Wish you the best. Talk with someone about these arousal problem etc its a good thing too by the way. (someone close as in family) 

[berserker]

Did you recover from it? 

[berserker]

So,

I started to taper Clomipramine 2 weeks ago and I am on 112.5 mgs daily. I know that here is suggested to taper 10% but honestly I can't really wait 2 years to go off the drug.

I am taking also 5 mgs of Olanzapine. I have been taking it for almost 4 weeks and I guess it helps me sleeping (I couldn't sleep more than a few hours every night for a month and half). I am not really familiar with antipsychotics but I notice that I forget things more easily and I don't know if it's the medication or anxiety and my mind is mainly focused on my issues with libido and attraction.

I can have an erection manually but I have no desire for sex and attraction for girls. I also noticed that memories about past stories with women don't make me nostalgic or aroused as it was before. This is really weird. I love women and I was lusting over them always and now that is gone. It's like a part of my personality has been wiped away and I don't know when it will come back....I realised that sexual drive also gives you motivation to go out, socialise and be more active and now that it's gone. It's like living in a sort of parallel reality and I have troubles to think about my former self and compare it to what I feel now. total flatline. 

[berserker]

No experience with this anyone? 

[berserker]

Anyone out there? 🙁

[ChessieCat]

Here's a topic which I found by using google, survivingantidepressants.org blunt feelings

 

emotional-numbness-on-and-off-drugs

 

[berserker]

Thanks for the link. I think I will use this topic to track my journey and hopefully my recovery.

I have a few questions and would be nice to see someone's else opinion.

- I have been on clomipramine for 9 years and in the last years I was experiencing some ED but not really lack of libido. When I introduced Mirtazapine, I had a libido loss, at the same moment I discovered I had low Testosteron. Do you think clomipramine paved the way to what Mirtazapine did? Mirt should be neutral when it comes to sexual side effects, so I am quite confused about to find the culprit. I was also able to quit Mirt with no withdrawal.

- After a few days quitting mirt I could have some manual induced erections. I usually respond to a specific form of touch but I have no spontaneous erections when awake but I have some nocturnal ones. Is that a good sign?

- People talk about genital numbness. Is that considered total numbness or just sexual stimulation numbness? I have just sexual stimulation numbness and the feeling that my penis is smaller in flaccid state (sorry to be graphic).

- I always suffered of OCD and ruminating, so you can imagine my obsessions are focused on this issue. Does someone have any tips about dealing with this? Probably the medication that helps me with ocd is the culprit for my lack of libido but I really want to quit anafranil

- I take magnesium, fish oil, multivitamine, zinc and sometimes maca. Is there something that could counteract a possible healing?

- Should I avoid masturbation?

- How to deal with relatives that think that everything is in your mind?

- I realised I hate too much light and I don't listen to music as much as before. Like my mind wants to stay quiet. I don't know if this is just a result of anxiety and feeling disconnection.

Thanks

[frasier23]

No and yes. When it occured I more or less devoted my life to Solve it. After several years of not satisfied with healing I finally went into psychosis stat (had alcohol problems too then). 

The silly part was that my body finally had started to heal when I went into psychosis. Felt like I went into 2nd puberty when healing started. Unfurtunally I had to take meds again so I was back at square 0.

 

Im not satisfied today but I have hope that stuff will heal more. Try to live a good TRUE life (ofc medicine free) and I believe stuff will heal. As written before ED can become a small problem so please focus on accepting  this problem and work on rest of life. It sucks yes. 

[berserker]

2 minutes ago, frasier23 said:

No and yes. When it occured I more or less devoted my life to Solve. After several years of not satisfied with healing I finally went into psychosis stat (had alcohol problems too then). 

 

The sill part was that my body finnaly had started to heal when I went into psychosis. Felt like I went into 2nd puberty when healing started. Unfurtunally I had to take meds again so I was back at square 0. Im not satisfied today but I have hope that stuff will heal more. Try to live a good TRUE life (ofc medicine free) and I believe stuff will heal. As written before ED can become a small problem so please focus on accepting problem and work on rest of life. It sucks yes. 

The problem is that true life for me can't be separated with sex/love. Anyway thanks for the answer. I really hope you will heal and feel better. Feel free to DM me if needed.

[frasier23]

On 8/3/2018 at 7:47 PM, berserker said:

Thanks for the link. I think I will use this topic to track my journey and hopefully my recovery.

I have a few questions and would be nice to see someone's else opinion.

- I have been on clomipramine for 9 years and in the last years I was experiencing some ED but not really lack of libido. When I introduced Mirtazapine, I had a libido loss, at the same moment I discovered I had low Testosteron. Do you think clomipramine paved the way to what Mirtazapine did? Mirt should be neutral when it comes to sexual side effects, so I am quite confused about to find the culprit. I was also able to quit Mirt with no withdrawal.

- After a few days quitting mirt I could have some manual induced erections. I usually respond to a specific form of touch but I have no spontaneous erections when awake but I have some nocturnal ones. Is that a good sign?

- People talk about genital numbness. Is that considered total numbness or just sexual stimulation numbness? I have just sexual stimulation numbness and the feeling that my penis is smaller in flaccid state (sorry to be graphic).

- I always suffered of OCD and ruminating, so you can imagine my obsessions are focused on this issue. Does someone have any tips about dealing with this? Probably the medication that helps me with ocd is the culprit for my lack of libido but I really want to quit anafranil

- I take magnesium, fish oil, multivitamine, zinc and sometimes maca. Is there something that could counteract a possible healing?

- Should I avoid masturbation?

- How to deal with relatives that think that everything is in your mind?

- I realised I hate too much light and I don't listen to music as much as before. Like my mind wants to stay quiet. I don't know if this is just a result of anxiety and feeling disconnection.

Thanks

Re relatives. Tell them "this is how I feel about it and how I experience it. Might be mental but I dont believe so". Shows everyone you would be open for other explanations and also steam of some of your own pressure of being right all the time. 

[frasier23]

1 minute ago, berserker said:

The problem is that true life for me can't be separated with sex/love. Anyway thanks for the answer. I really hope you will heal and feel better. Feel free to DM me if needed.

Me neither but as you have understood you cant do much about this today right? So what I menat was to maximise speed of recovery, live a true life. Most dont. A true life is also what your body wants. Im sure it does t like sittning in front of computer 8hr /day (not staying you are).  Cutting of bad relationships is true living etc. (in general mostly just the jadda jadda everyone is talking about). 

 

Is things any better? 

[berserker]

On 8/6/2018 at 11:48 PM, frasier23 said:

Me neither but as you have understood you cant do much about this today right? So what I menat was to maximise speed of recovery, live a true life. Most dont. A true life is also what your body wants. Im sure it does t like sittning in front of computer 8hr /day (not staying you are).  Cutting of bad relationships is true living etc. (in general mostly just the jadda jadda everyone is talking about). 

 

Is things any better? 

Hey, thanks for caring and answering to my questions. Are things better? well...not really....I feel stuck and isolated...after being hospitalised, I have been enrolled in a daily program with activities for people having mental problems. It is useful to do some stuff (yoga, creative therapy etc.) but I feel like a part of myself is missing and I don't know if I will regain it. Now weekend starts and I have 2 full days to fill....staying in my head is not easy. What about you? How are you doing? Feel free to DM if you wish. Have a good weekend!

[frasier23]

Horrible feelings. I remember them from my hospitalisations. Its a cruel place if things goes wrong there. I was lucky to convince me out of the daily program scheme. Would have been a disaster socially for me. Thats how it is here. Also I live in a small city so only people there are real "retards". Also knew from previous traumas that I heal better with new memories disconnected from the trauma itself. At the same time if you find someone cool at that activity centre thats awesome. Especially if he/she is a user here.. 

 

This year I celebrate 2 year (i think) med free . I have no problem to be reminded about my past since feel better and know I hopefully will not end up in the nut house permanently. But things aren't cool yet. But compared to when I started write on this site. Its like life and death. I don't know either if my self will fully come back. Will I be able to blush again? Will I be able to do fast running? Will I be able to have 6+ sleep and wake up refreshed? Will I be able to feel attraction to an average girl again? Who knows. I needed to learn to go for the beautiful ones anyways. I will do them all in the future thats at least what I hope. 

 

2016-2017 I couldn't shop by myself etc. I didn't trust myself. Today I do. Thats worth everything. Don't want to repeat myself but black room, light exercise (climbing small mountain / short walk every other day), sunlight , healthy food, stable few relationships which whom you can share helped me a lot. Now I do a lot of light weight lifting, I believe its the best for my brain and fat burn for the moment. Anyway I write sometimes just because I know what horrible places most people in here have been at and it can be very rough especially if you want out of the psych system like I wanted. But its possible but I guess everyone needs to find their way.

 

Have nice weekend you too!

 

 

 

 

[berserker]

Thanks man for your support once again. It's really appreciated. To be honest the daily activities/center is not bad. Mostly of the people is really nice. It's just me that I fell disconnected and too much in my mind. I need to take time for myself and try to not focus much on my issues (more easier said than done). Did you have also sexual dysfunction/pssd?

[RusTW]

 so did you ever get on testosterone therapy.

[NicoBicko]

I had a really similar issue with risperdal. I struggled for about 15 months, but  everything came back. Im not a friend of this meds and reject everything but Abilify, which in some cases can increas your Libido. 

[VincentV]

On 7/16/2018 at 9:00 PM, berserker said:

I really don't understand....how is it possible that after years of taking a medication with no big problems, all of this happens? Libido completely wiped out.

 

From reading what you've said it sounds like Clomipramine was working fine. You developed a hormone imbalance (which may or may not be related) which sapped your libido. Mirtazapine is what threw the spanner in the works imho. 

 

 I'm aware that this is ten months out of date but I would seriously consider looking into getting that imbalance addressed if you haven't already. Be careful though. 

 

 

 

[RusTW]

I can tell you this through my own experience taking hormones testosterone during withdrawal was definitely a no-go for me. Some of you may react different. My urologist reinstated testosterone about 3 weeks ago with an injection that sent me into a wild tailspin that wasn't cool.

I stopped taking it in the beginning of my withdraws because of the anxiety spikes after taking the shot. Took about nine months off and had this recent shot and I will never touch that crap again I don't care if I have low T or not none of you would want to feel what I went through. If you do choose the replacement therapy I would start on the lowest dose and then quarter that. LOL