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Leo1983

☼ Leo1983: SSRI withdrawal

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Leo1983

Hi @ChessieCat

 

At 10 month out it im experiencing muscle aches mainly in the legs and shoulders, backs of the arms.

 

Anhedonia is on top form and the anxiety is mainly morning and drifts off during the day. I have noticed in the past 3 weeks im having the stomach issues people talk about. Mainly heartburn, constipation and some general discomfort. Fatigue is quite bad also. These were all my symptoms for a long time early in wd and then they went away. Now there back.

 

I know these are all common wd symptoms. However just checking in there all normal at this stage etc.

 

Thanks

 

Hope your well. 

 

Lee

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RusTW

Hi Lee good job getting through this.Its hard but we are improving slowly. 

I'm 10 months out also with returning old symptoms. Especially fatigue it sucks.

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Leo1983

Hi Rus.

 

Yeh its pretty crap!

 

I just wake each day, get up and get on with it. 

 

I am starting to think do we just keep sitting and waiting and waiting and waiting.... or do we try and do summit about it. The scary thing is theres not much to do about it lol. 

 

I just dream of the morning i wake up, roll over go back to sleep, get up with excitement in my belly and plan say a nice bbq with friends in the garden on a summers day. Like i used too. 

 

Just hope these meds aint frazzled me into this person. Im sure from the evidence i see, its just wd. 

 

Its the longest worst thing i have ever endured. 

 

Hope your well m8. 

 

 

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RandyJames

Hey Leo.  How are you doing?  I really hope things may have eased up or you.  The longer you go the closer you get.  Have you gotten any worse at all through this process or have you noticed any improvement from the start to present?  You'll get there.

 

My wife was one of the lucky ones who can quit these meds with very little trouble.  She was on Celexa for 6 years and decided it just wasn't helping anymore so she decided to quit CT.  This was after I had been through my Cymbalta CT and I was like NOOOOO!  You don't understand!!!!  Don't do this tou yourself!!!!  She was stubborn and did it anyway.  She had some flu feelings and was waking up in the night some and some dizziness for like 3 weeks and came through.  I'm so jealous of her, lol.  She also was a smoker for like ten years and just quit with no problems either. Thank god she understands that this isn't the case with me.  When she was able to pretty much shrug off 6 years worth of SSRI's I thought she was going to think I faked my 2 year WD but she didn't.  I guess just not getting out of bed for like 2 years is evidence enough something is wrong lol. 

 

I hope your doing well.

 

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Kostas

Hi, 

I really hope that your wife will keep feeling fine. 

However please have in mind, that severe withdrawal symptoms could appear even several months after being off these drugs. 

It happened to me 8 months after being off citalopram, while all this time was feeling fine! 

Just to be aware, and not been afraid if this occurred. 

 

Take care 

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RandyJames
6 hours ago, Kostas said:

Hi, 

I really hope that your wife will keep feeling fine. 

However please have in mind, that severe withdrawal symptoms could appear even several months after being off these drugs. 

It happened to me 8 months after being off citalopram, while all this time was feeling fine! 

Just to be aware, and not been afraid if this occurred. 

 

Take care 

She's been off of them for like 5 years now.  She's just made of iron or something lol.  I was so scared for her.  She does get lightheaded standing up but we're not sure if it's from the meds or not.  

 

Having WD kick in 8 months after being off the citalopram must have just sidelined you.  You would have thought you were home free at that point.  I'm sorry that happened.  Did you taper or quit cold turkey? 

 

I hope you are feeling well. 

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Kostas

Hi again, 

As you described it, your wife's problem looks more medical than withdrawal. 

Hope to be well soon. 

I did a very slow taper of 20 mg citalopram, lasting almost 6 years! 

Now I am 7 years off any drug, and feeling fine. 

Keep well! 

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Leo1983

Hey guys.

 

I would like to talk about getting a virus in withdrawal. Basically does the virus just ramp everything up? 

 

i notice 2 things. When i am in a window i totally forget abt withdrawal however when a wave comes back it makes me confused what it is? is it a wave or a virus? like i lost the whole withdrawal mindset. then when a wave returns im like whats this?. 

 

Also i do have a virus but i notice i still question is it the virus or withdrawal. Even tho i know i have a virus, as the whole house does. 

 

Anyone relate to this?

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manny03
1 hour ago, Leo1983 said:

Hey guys.

 

I would like to talk about getting a virus in withdrawal. Basically does the virus just ramp everything up? 

 

i notice 2 things. When i am in a window i totally forget abt withdrawal however when a wave comes back it makes me confused what it is? is it a wave or a virus? like i lost the whole withdrawal mindset. then when a wave returns im like whats this?. 

 

Also i do have a virus but i notice i still question is it the virus or withdrawal. Even tho i know i have a virus, as the whole house does. 

 

Anyone relate to this?

 

I know several months back you posted that a nurse were you work at mentioned that it ramps up the symptoms.  

 

I remember this well since you mentioned your kids got sick, then they passed it to you. Also, you counseled me since it happened to me also, and that gave me some peace of mind. 

 

When I got the Flu last December, it became the catalyst of the wave I'm at the moment. In my case, both hit me at the same time, though worse. Though, as time passes, the virus goes away, though the W/D symptoms got worse or morphed. 

 

Though, it sounds great when you mentioned you have moments without any symptoms which means you're farther ahead in your recovery.  Just yesterday, I got to that level where you're at the moment. Several minutes to hours without any symptoms, then a wave hits me.  

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Leo1983

its 11 month Manny, its gone on that long i dont know whats what. 

 

I remember now my last virus. Forgot about all that. 

 

I was feeling good in a window. then i got a virus again last week. But i get confused, is this the virus or a wave or both?. 

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manny03
1 minute ago, Leo1983 said:

its 11 month Manny, its gone on that long i dont know whats what. 

 

I remember now my last virus. Forgot about all that. 

 

I was feeling good in a window. then i got a virus again last week. But i get confused, is this the virus or a wave or both?. 

 

I know dude.

 

I'm nine months out and I'm like you.

 

With the Flu/Virus: Sadly, they both hit your hard at the same time. That's how it occurred with me. Over the weeks the virus went away, that's how I was able to see what symptoms was the W/D and what was the Flu. 

 

Just ride the wave, my man. 

 

 

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Kronos18

Hi Leo.How are you feeling?

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Leo1983

Hi.

 

Not great however not as bad as i was. i can do alot more and be around people again. 

 

symptoms are Head pressure, Anhedonia, some anxiety, flat mood.

 

Just keep plodding along.

 

Main wish is for my body to feel at ease, my head to stop feeling like its full of pressure and less anxiety. like i used to be most of the time before meds.

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Leo1983

Can anyone shine any light on this.

 

When i am at home settled and relaxed as an example.... My Genitals are relaxed, good colour, looks like the old days lol. Can be intimate etc.

 

however, when i get stressed, or go to work, or push myself, basically rev my system up, it all goes to pot!! My genitals go pale, cold etc. you get the picture. 

 

My question is this PSSD? or is this happening when my CNS is been pushed too hard? 

 

When im pushing myself i also notice alot of Anhedonia, head pressure and then the genital changes. I also notice i have no sex drive for opposite sex when this happens. 

 

Thankyou.

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eymen23

Hi Leo,

 

It is normal to experience reduced libido and overall ‘sensation’ during times of stress. Our bodies see reproduction as somewhat of a ‘luxury’ and once the fight or flight system becomes activated and to a high degree, libido will be reduced accordingly as the body diverts attention and resources to dealing with the stressor at hand.

 

It’s likely that this is being exaggerated by your long term withdrawal syndrome, but overall this is normal. 

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Leo1983

I have noticed a big change..... It was almost l

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Leo1983

I have noticed a big change in a symptom. "Weight gain and bloating". I had about 3 weeks of bad GI symptoms and thought i had an ulcer or something. 

 

Over the last 3 days its almost l

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Asta

That's very good! ☀️

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Leo1983

Like i have lost weight and all of my bloat has gone. My stomach feels flat again and i dont look like im fat around the hips. 

 

i can live with this lol.

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Kronos18
Just now, Leo1983 said:

Like i have lost weight and all of my bloat has gone. My stomach feels flat again and i dont look like im fat around the hips. 

 

i can live with this lol.

Very good news Leo.I hope it keeps continuing to you, for me it’s like in the begining right now.I’ve been hit by a serious wave right now with all of the symptoms from the begining returning.I’m 15 weeks off

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Leo1983

Hi Kronos. 

 

At 15 weeks off i was in hell. I was lost and did not know how i was going to live my life. Here i am 11 month out..... Im still not cured but boy am i better than 6 month ago. 

 

Keep going, take each day and do what you can when you can. Dont fear the future, stay in the now. Our bodies and mind appear to allow us to get through life no matter how bad we feel. Just keep going. 

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Kronos18

I’m stepping in hell right now mate, I have a flight back to London tomorrow and I don’t really know how i’m going to manage it.The good news are that somehow I embarace the symptoms and they don’t give mevso much anxiety any more, I can now hang out with friends and do stuff somehow when I feel ok, bad news is that this wave is like hell broke loose.But guess it’s improvement, no matter how.Cheers mate.I’m glad you are feeling better, you give me a lot of hope

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Leo1983

How did you come off the Lexapro wasnt it?

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Kronos18

I was on it for 2 months, i came from 10mg to 0 in 2 weeks.Pretty fast so withdrawal is rough

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Leo1983

Yes it was. it is a powerful drug this 1.

 

Start to look at delayed onset of withdrawal. Read my thread.

 

for 10 weeks after i stopped my meds i was not so bad. i still felt crappy. However after 10 weeks the ground opened up and ate me. Thats when my full blown hit. About 3 month after stopping. 

 

You may have delayed onset. Keep an eye out. You will know if the waves stay the same over the next few months. 

 

 

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Kronos18

Thank you mate.My withdrawal started 4 days after quitting pills, with severe anxiety and much more symptoms than I have now, crying spells, depression etc.Then i started having some not so bad days, then bad days and so on.Guess is some improvement.Anyways i’m not so scared any more of my symptoms like I used to be.I’m not obsessed do much like in the begining, i just watch tv, play video games, go for a drive, go out with friend when I feel ok during the day, I just spend time focusing on the outside world more, when this whole thing started I was living in terror inside my head.since 1 month i adopted the “I don’t give a ****” attitude, and it is working better and better as my brain gets used to it.

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Leo1983

I have been out to the Metro centre shopping today on a Bank holiday. It was packed with people.

 

i remember 6 month ago thinking how will i ever go clothes shopping again with this panic?. 

 

I really enjoyed it and even showed aome interest in brands i have always loved. 

 

 

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Kronos18
1 minute ago, Leo1983 said:

I have been out to the Metro centre shopping today on a Bank holiday. It was packed with people.

 

i remember 6 month ago thinking how will i ever go clothes shopping again with this panic?. 

 

I really enjoyed it and even showed aome interest in brands i have always loved. 

 

 

I’m so glad you are getting your life back mate, i’m sure soon enough you will post you recovery story here.I’m just sitting on the balcony, listening to the rain and asking myself how the **** i’m going to get my life back with this derealization.I feel so down sometimes because of this, it sucks really bad

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Leo1983

You will get it back as i am mate. SLOWLY. 

 

Im still not cured... I still feel a band around my brain, anxiety, Anhedonia... However i can manage them better. 

 

i have been were you are. Feeling like the blood supply is cut off to your head almost catatonic. Like someone has pulled a wire out. its awful. You got along way to go but it soon comes round.

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Kronos18
Just now, Leo1983 said:

You will get it back as i am mate. SLOWLY. 

 

Im still not cured... I still feel a band around my brain, anxiety, Anhedonia... However i can manage them better. 

 

i have been were you are. Feeling like the blood supply is cut off to your head almost catatonic. Like someone has pulled a wire out. its awful. You got along way to go but it soon comes round.

Thank you for support mate.I am really asking how i’m going to see the difference between derealization and reality, how i’m going to know it’s not here any more.If it will go tomorrow, i will enjoy my life again like i used to.This is my biggest wish, i am trying to go out, do things despite to how i feel, this is my biggest wish.To come back to reality.As i can manage other things better after.

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Leo1983

you start and feel the difference. you dont feel as confused and walking around in a haze. you become more orientated to life and people.

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Leo1983

the pressure feeling in the head lessens. " THE VICE IS LOOSENED OFF". The blood starts to flow.

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eymen23

Thank you so much for posting this positive update Leo. I think it’s important to document the good as much as the bad, so that another time when you’re struggling you can remind yourself that things do get easier over time. 

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Leo1983

lets just hope it continues Eymen. 

 

I agree its good to post positive. 

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Leo1983

Hi.

 

Really looking for some clarity on this 1. Would someone be able to give me their opinion on this. 

 

I am 11 month into Cold turkey. I have been to hell and basically followed the windows and waves since about 7 months out. 

 

I work full time and have done throughout withdrawal. 

 

I have NEVER felt great or the old me since starting/stopping the drugs. However i have improved. 

 

About 3 weeks ago i started paternity leave from work. Prior to leaving work i was in wd normal, with some good days and bad, i was struggling with anxiety feeling around ppl etc etc the usual wd stuff. Then i went on leave from work and my wife gave birth. I was anxious throughout however managed to get my wife and baby safely home. Then i was at home for 2 weeks with wife and baby. When at home in these 2 weeks i felt the best i had in a while. I had family over, hot tub party, Friends at my house. I was not healed but i felt confident again in myself. 

 

I returned to work yesterday and i noticed soon as i woke up i had that morning cortisol feeling. My head felt full. My muscles were stiff. I felt fatigued. I got home after work last night and thought it is just because its your first day back and you left the baby. Then again today, i woke up cortisol, pain, sluggish........ at work just feeling like im basically in a wave..

 

My question is....... Why was i good at home when off? is this a wave? Is it coincidence im back in a wave on my 1st day back at work. Im lost with it. I feel unwell still at home but i can manage it how i please. At work i dont worry about work but i always seem to feel more symptoms on work days. The symptoms make me feel like i dont want to be at work. Im on restricted duties and doing low stress stuff and still feel the symptoms of withdrawal. 

 

its doing my head in. 

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